Today,
we check in with our Oracle, which has been predicting political change
for over 400 days. For the record, The Oracle, which is asexual and therefore supports John McCain, is not real.
Q. What do you make of the John Edwards endorsement yesterday? I think he used "man" too many times to be polite about not endorsing Hillary Clinton.
A. The Oracle believes John Edwards will endorse Hillary Clinton, due to her excellent health care plan, which is bound to succeed thanks to her excellent track record in this industry, especially in the area of campaign contributions from the health care industry, where she ranks #2.
Q. Um, actually, Edwards endorsed Barack Obama. Earlier in the race, even a few weeks ago, this would've been seen as a shocker, given the fact that Obama always made a bad impression on Edwards and has a lousy and uninspiring health care plan. Do you think Edwards is only endorsing Obama because the race is over and it's a move to unify the party?
A. The Oracle believes John Edwards endorsed Obama because of his "whiteness." [Ed.: The Oracle does have a point here: Obama is just as much a white man as a black man-- perhaps racist voters can be confused with mailers relaying this information?] Hillary Clinton, seeing as how she's married to the nation's First Black President, could be seen as alienating the huge majority of white Southern Democrats out there.
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