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It was a trouncing. A total wipeout. We stopped tallying votes at five billion. Well, we stopped tallying votes when someone’s vagina exploded. Scarlett wins this match by a mile. And possibly a cup size.

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Remember back to 2:30pm today, when we brought you word of that crazy German prostitution thing? Those were special times. Well, we learned something back then that we’d like to share. We found the Insult Monger’s Swearasaurus, a website featuring cuss words in different languages. (And lots of boobies, fyi). Maybe the site is old hat, dunno, but it’s new TO US. And oh, mensch, what fun we had with the German phrases. “Willst Du ficken oder was?” That means, “Wanna fuck or what?” “Deine mutter hat haarige arschbacken.” That means, “Your mother has hairy ass cheeks.” We LOVE swearing in German. It’s just so gratifying. We know what you’re thinking: We had the means to say “You stink like a mountain lion’s cage” and we went with “Assholes”? Well, gotta save something for later.

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Is there anything LESS sexy than a Pussycat Doll? It’s like Coyote Ugly became a girl group, but we don’t even get free shots. Still, as the Times notes, it’s all about
female empowerment! (Choice quote, from noted feminist director McG: “It’s just like saying, ‘Don’t you wish your girlfriend could be free and comfortable in her own skin and do her own thing, like me?’" Somehow, that line didn't go over at the label.) Yes, kids, the Pussycat Dolls are all about empowerment, if by “empowerment,” you mean pole dances and caterwauling. Whatevs. We can’t get too worked up about this television show. Mostly it just looks boring.


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So here’s an interesting/horrible downside to legalizing prostitution, just in time for your upcoming LD debate. Germany, which legalized prostitution two years ago, is withholding unemployment benefits from a woman who refused to take a job in a brothel. (The woman is not pictured. That woman is Annabell from Germany, and she happens to be the illustration for Wikipedia's entry on sex workers. But we digress.) The story, running in the Telegraph under the screamer of a headline, 'If you don't take a job as a prostitute, we can stop your benefits,' explains.

“Under Germany's welfare reforms, any woman under 55 who has been out of work for more than a year can be forced to take an available job – including in the sex industry – or lose her unemployment benefit.”

As tipster TS points out: Which is more disturbing—that Germany can withhold benefits from women who won’t work in brothels, or that Germany is actually referring unemployed 54-year-old women TO work in brothels? Arschlochen!

UPDATE: Internet hoax!!. Please to ignore.


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Dear Henry Rollins, You have a beefy neck and scare us sometimes. You're just so big! We'd lose an arm-wrestling match to your chin dimple. But we like that you took time out of your busy chest-flogging and IFC-hosting schedule to write a letter to Ann Coulter. Your plan sounds... scary? But interesting. We like the part about Caddyshack. So that's all. Have a good day. Best of luck with your spoken word! Love, Scanner.

P.S. Thanks to Paul for sending this clip.

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Surely you've heard the controversy over designer vaginas. Our vagina is actually a knock-off, but everyone swears it’s a Gucci. No, wait, we’re talking about vage-tightening surgical procedures to keep your honey pot nice and tight. The Washington Post opens some legs and peeks inside for a full report. (via
Gawker)


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British women today are mourning the loss of their inappropriate, underage sex fantasies as Prince William announces his engagement to Kate what’s-her-name, you know, the bitch he’s been dating. Have heart, birds. One out of two royal marriages ends in ... never mind, we can't bring ourselves to make that joke.

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It is the year of the pig. This pig
was just born with two mouths, two noses and three eyes. Taken as a metaphor, we are so effed.

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Are you still flushing that used condom down the toilet? Are you still lubing with Pennzoil? Well cut it out already. The hot new trend is Green Sex—which kind of needs a different, hotter name, wethinks. (Enviro-nookie? Green Piece?) A story on Canada.com—our first and only news source!—reports on the trend, which includes TreeHugger’s guide to greening your sex life (previously linked, but in case you missed it), eco-undies, and Good Vibrations’ recent decision to stop selling sex toys containing phthalates. For our part, we’ve pledged to never even SAY the word “phthalates.” (Seriously, guys. What kind of word is THAT?)

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Our friends at Spare Room have found an old ad for the Nipple Bra. How much do we love this? Let us count the raisins. Nice opening line, btw: "The look is so provocative no one will actually know you are wearing a bra." Now all we need is that cucumber jock strap.

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Philosophers know this as the Justin Timberlake Dilemma. It’s like choosing between blondes or brunettes, your place or mine. Every morning, our man JT wakes up, kicks the Pitchfork music critic out of bed, opens his closet, and faces a grueling decision. Not “which tie goes with this Armani shirt?” But “which starlet goes with this Armani shirt?” Scarlett or Jessica? Jessica or Scarlett?

For weeks, the tabloids have been abuzz over which of these two will land the new king of pop. Has it been months already? Let’s say it has. The hype has led one of our friends to dub one of these fair lasses, “Jessica Where-the-Hell-Did-SHE-Come-From?” Well, she came from Seventh Heaven, via the bangin’ body route. But don’t forget, it wasn't so long ago that the equally bangin' Johansson was a bookish loner in Ghost World. Not to mention The Horse Whisperer. My, things have changed.

And so it comes to this, the ultimate face-off. We don't really care who Timberlake picks. We're curious who you will. So here comes the question: WHO WOULD YOU RATHER? Polls close at 4pm.

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Maverick country singer Merle Haggard touring with a song about Hillary Clinton: “This country needs to be honest / Changes need to be large / Something like a big switch of gender / Let’s put a woman in charge.”

Jenna Bush writing book about HIV-positive mom. Nope, not a memoir.

NY Times admits that a writer paid $2000 to gain the trust of a teen Internet pornographer.

Do you suffer from insufferable clinginess? You might be keeping the relationship together, as it turns out.


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Ay, Papi! Filmmaker Conrad Son has been given a nearly £10,000 grant to make erotic films in Catalan. See, even the government knows it’s just as important to give as to receive. Read more on Nerve’s Screengrab.

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Wow, so much talk of casting today. Casting this movie, casting that movie. Pretty soon we’re going to start snorting cocaine and demanding blowjobs! But the good news is, we’ve cast our Ann Coulter film. And we couldn’t have done it without you.

Laura Dern—the brilliant, the criminally underappreciated, the eminently crushable Laura Dern—has done so many odious things onscreen. She sniffed paint. She had sex with a teacher. She appeared in I Am Sam. We just know she can pull off Ann Coulter. Not to mention, Laura Dern knows wackos. Hellloo, she was engaged to Billy Bob Thornton. And, as for the other suggested actors and actresses—we’re talking to you, Lucifer, and you too, Andy Dick—we can only say, better luck next time. One of these days, kids, one of these days.

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If you date using Nerve--and we certainly hope that you do--then you have at least one thing in common with young Iraqis. (That, and your huge love for Lionel Richie.) The L.A. Times has a story about Iraq's online dating scene: “Both were young, educated, devout Sunni Muslims who shared a passion for Jim Carrey movies and Arabic love tunes. For months, they chatted online obsessively. As the friendship deepened, she shyly agreed to a webcam meeting. But their relationship was doomed from the start: He lives in a quiet, middle-class neighborhood of east Baghdad; she is across the Tigris River in the city's war-torn west. It was out of the question that they should ever meet.”

Man, so much angst, so much tragedy, so much starcrossed romance. Sounds like a musical to us! Sondheim, cue the band.

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Remember, friends, when we cast the Anna Nicole Smith movie? We had Jayme Pressly in the lead, and Jeffrey Tambor as the judge, and Henry Winkler as Smith's grieving mom? Well, Radar Online does the same thing today, only they used actual casting agents, coming up with Jenny McCarthy for the lead and -- guess what? -- Jeffrey Tambor for the judge. At least we can all agree on something.

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As explained in a story in today’s New York Post: “A renowned hedge-fund honcho hatched a heinous revenge plot against his former mistress by posing as her on the Internet - saying she wanted to be kidnapped and raped as part of a sicko sex fantasy, officials said yesterday.”

Whoa, this guy inspires fear and alliteration! The guy’s name is Albert Hsu. We did a Google search and found many handsome young Asian men who don’t look much like a 43-year-old wacko. So all we can say is that if you happen to meet a renowned hedge-fund honcho, and he happens to post an Internet ad regarding your sexual fantasies, you know what to do: DON’T DATE HIM, GIRL!

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Meet George Watsky, the “undisputed backtalk champion.” We’re not sure what that means, but we think this spoken-word performance of “V is for Virgin” is funny and clever enough to explain itself. Scanner tipster Becki caught Watsky recently on “Def Poetry Jam” and was kind enough to pass along the clip. An excerpt: "Girl, I wanna lay you down by the fire with a bowl of popcorn and watch 'Fresh Prince' reruns." Love. It.

You can watch another routine, called “Pickup Line Protest,” here.

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If you want to ditch class to attend New Zealand’s Boobs on Bikes Parade—and let’s face it, what hotblooded kiwi doesn’t?—here is a tip: Don’t get your picture on the front page of the paper.

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While your brain is busy casting the Ann Coulter Lifetime movie, relax and enjoy the casting of a few other brutal murderers. The L.A. Times has assembled a gallery of serial killers and the actors who resemble them. Vincent Gallo as Charles Manson? Ryan Seacrest as Jeffrey Dahmer? Smells like Oscar to us. (via Mollygood)

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A few weeks ago, San Fran mayor Gavin Newsom declared Feb. 23 to be Colt Studio Day. What's the prob? It's a gay porn site. Whoops! Well, these things happen, and we love it when they do. But a story in Saturday's San Francisco Chronicle reports the mayor's office isn't exactly laughing along with us:

“San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom's administration will change its policy on issuing laudatory proclamations after a gay porn studio was honored last week without the mayor's knowledge, city officials said Friday.”

Seems the incident whipped critics like Bill O’Reilly into a frenzy, because he was obviously hoping that Feb. 23 would be the day HE got to honor Colt Studio with a giant loofah in their name. But here at Scanner, we will continue to acknowledge every February 23 as Colt Studio Day, and celebrate with the official beer, a Colt 45. [Pfffft.] It works every time. (Thanks to Tommy for the link.)

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This is Ann Coulter’s news week; we’re just living in it. Since her lesson in graciousness and tact #523 last Friday—i.e., calling John Edwards a faggot—the news world has been abuzz about that wheels-off blond “pundit” we’ve come to know and/or hate. Companies have dropped their ads from her website. Magazines want to talk all serious about the appropriation of epithets. Why can’t we just ignore her again? Slate can explain that for you.

But who is this Ann Coulter? What caused the hole in her soul? Is she hot? Can we agree on this? So many questions, for so many other times. For now, let’s concern ourselves with one issue, and one issue only: Who is going to play her in our Lifetime movie?

A couple things to note when considering your casting: She has many sides, this Ann. So we need someone with emotional flexibility, someone who can play smoldering and frightening. We need someone with smarts. And we need someone with crazy, crazy eyes. Ladies and gentlemen, the casting couch is open!

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Wow, Ralph Fiennes, we really underestimated you. For years, we thought of you as this handsome prig of an actor—able to quote Shakespeare and charm the panties off a mannequin, but a bit bloodless, a bit severe. What do we know? The actor has been caught in another exciting romp, this time after being discovered naked in the pool with four women, according to today’s Sun. This, of course, follows his mile-high melee last month. Ralph, you are living the dream. Not ours, but many many people's.

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Sixth graders had sex in shop class: “Shop class gives students a chance to learn outside of the book. But at Warren Township's Raymond Park Middle School, two students engaged in illicit acts in view of goggled eyes.”

The far-too-friendly skies: Off-duty Northwest Airlines employee charged with ejaculating on a woman.

Sexy emails discovered by Lisa Marie Nowak might have caused the astronaut love triangle. Also, craziness.

Japan refuses to apologize for sex slavery during WWII.

Brothel shortages in Bulgaria blamed on global warming.


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We were latecomers to the Bjork bonanza. Didn’t really get her for a long time. Not sure what changed our mind. Maybe it was Dancer in the Dark. Maybe it was that gonzo swan dress. But these days, we so drink the Bjork Kool-Aid. (It’s cherry-flavored, in case you were wondering.) And even if we can’t find the umlaut on this computer--sorry, snoots--we get awful excited when news breaks about her upcoming album, Volta, due May 7.
Pitchfork Media recently posted an interview with her, in which she says, among other things:

“We're all fucking animals, so let's just make some universal tribal beat. We're pagan. Let's just march.

And you know she said it in that adorable Icelandic accent, too. And for that, she is our Crush of the Week.


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There's not much we can say about this gallery of Chinese contortionist photos, except the obvious. Which is: When are those hula hoops in the background coming into play?

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A friend traveling in Singapore shares this sign displayed in their bathrooms. What we like about it is the immediacy of the first image. There’s just no pissing about with this sign. Don’t pee on the floor, you moron. Now, if it’s not already out there, what we need is a girls’ bathroom sign to illustrate this universal imperative: Stop pissing on the seat, beeyotch.

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T. Arthur Cottam's "Filthy Foods" short film, in which a red-lipsticked and orally inclined woman fellates, caresses, and creatively penetrates a variety of pantry items. You'd think this would be a brief, one-trick pony--a la Fast Times at Ridgemont High--but they just keep one-upping themselves. For five full minutes. Too much? Food for thought.

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This condom applicator has been named the “most beautiful object in South Africa” by Dutch designer Jurgen Bey. We agree; it’s nifty. Apparently it's even part of the New York MoMA's permanent collection. Wow, we didn’t even know condom applicators existed—we thought they were called “fingers”--but you can see a video demonstration of the product here. Gotta say, makes it look pretty easy. And the best part is that the high-design orange means it matches your iPod. (via Gizmodo.)

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Is the New York Times addicted to porn? Last week, Frank Bruni painfully reviewed the Penthouse Executive Club. Before that, we were treated to a slew of articles about high-def porn, on-demand porn, and middle-aged porn. Now, in this Sunday's magazine, there is a looooong article about college sex publications, including Harvard's H Bomb and Vassar's Squirm. Regardless of whether or not the Times is actually porn-crazed (THOUGH YOU KNOW THEY ARE!), the topic of coed sex life is certainly all the rage these days. If you happen to be at college, do tell: Is it just so all that?

Bonus points to author Alexandra Jacobs for mentioning Nerve.com on the first page of the piece. Alexandra, you're welcome to join our "highbrow group gropes" anytime.

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Maybe it’s the downfall of academia as we know it (huzzah!). Maybe it’s another sign of our society’s intellectual decline (booo!). But we’re fascinated by The Plaid Avenger, an unconventional geography textbook taught in a Virginia Tech course using the slang of the day to spruce up history lessons. We admit, the title is lame. But check out these nuggets of wisdom: 1) The message of the Monroe Doctrine was “Don’t mess in our hemisphere, bitch!” 2) The Rape of Nanking “really sucked for China.” There are recipes for mixed drinks (they’re made up), and sexual double entendres throughout. Huh. Sounds more interesting than our history text book which, let’s face it, was a $45 table prop.

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A Chinese man has mastered the art of smoking through his eye socket. As you can tell from the picture, it certainly raises the bar for the smoke ring. Coincidentally, we’ve been doing the Chinese inhale for years, but only after several glasses of red wine, at that stage in the evening when we’re text messaging people with one eye open. But seriously, kids, don’t try this at home. Try this at someone else’s house, preferably in the presence of a video camera. (via Neatorama).

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Our friends in Monterrey, Mexico, send word of a recent Roger Waters concert, wherein a giant helium pig floated over the crowd, emblazoned with the words, “Cerdo Bush, derriba el muro de la frontera.” Our tipster translates that as, “Fucking Bush, knock down the border wall.” Personally, we thought it translated to “Pig Bush, something-something death of wall,” but our Spanish is a little rusty. Like, caked with rust. Like, don’t touch our Spanish, it will leave your hands smelling yucky for days. But wait, where were we? The pig, the pig. “Impeach Bush” was written across the fair inflatable swine’s ass, and next to a line that crossed the pig’s neck, “Cut across the dotted line.” Hmm. Roger Waters is telling us something. We’re not political pundits; it’s just a feeling we have. Interestingly—and again, this is according to the tipster, but we can trust him because, umm, we have to—the floating pig was banned during the Pink Floyd legend’s U.S. tour last year for “security reasons.” Somehow, we don’t anticipate a Dixie Chicks-like backlash. However, if you feel the need to protest, we suggest breaking your black light and burning all your incense.

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Those poor celebrities. They're always getting dehydrated, like Nicole Richie this weekend. She's sooo thirsty. But what can she do? No water around for miles. Even worse, in celebrities' private moments of butt and genital scratching, someone snaps a picture. Well, here you go. A photo gallery of celebrities readjusting their crown jewels.

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Bono becomes the guest editor for Vanity Fair’s July issue: “’Hey, I’d meet with Lucifer if I thought it would do any good,’ Bono said. Mr. Carter gives up a sporty laugh at that, pretty sure he is talking about someone else."

Are you ready to get naked for your country? The TSA begins using a full-body backscatting device to scan for weapons, but the X-rays show a lot more than what’s in your pockets.

420 pound woman shocked to discover she was pregnant. But hey, she lost 10 pounds this week!

Video appears to show teens persuading their little brothers, age 2 and 5, to smoke pot.


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While you were knocking back mojitos and blowing your rent money, actual things happened this weekend. Some hideous movie about middle-aged men on motorcycles did smashingly at the box office. Elizabeth Hurley got married. And then, good ol’ Ann Coulter called John Edwards a faggot. What she actually said was: “I was going to have a few comments on the other Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards, but it turns out you have to go into rehab if you use the word ‘faggot.’” Somebody needs to return that sociopathic bitchbot to the manufacturer. Depressingly, the crowd hooted and whistled with approval afterward. On Sunday, Edwards responded, in part:”We can't stand silently by and allow this kind of language to be used.”

Welcome to Monday. We're glad you're back.

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We couldn’t leave you for the weekend without another reality TV nudity scandal. This time it’s Jael from America’s Next Top Model, who found that her most flattering angle, apparently, is from between her creamy thighs. Now, we’ve never heard of Jael, but last time we admitted we hadn’t heard of a television celebrity, the Nathan Fillion fanclub sentenced us to 10 hours of Firefly this weekend. So we’ll just say we’re still getting to know Jael. And obviously, these nude photos make that a little easier. ANTM has had a weird relationship with nudity--often posing the girls naked but decrying porn--so we'll see what Mama Banks says about this.

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An op-ed in the International Herald Tribune sings the praises of pot:

“A new study in the journal Neurology is being hailed as unassailable proof that marijuana is a valuable medicine. It is a sad commentary on the state of modern medicine that we still need ‘proof’ of something that medicine has known for 5,000 years.”

Somewhere, perhaps a smoky basement smelling of mold and bongwater, Jim Breuer and Snoop Dogg just slapped a high five.

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This velco headband/face mask-thingy takes the "remote" out of "remote control." It also takes the "ass" out of "class" and the "some" out of "awesome," leaving us with "cl" and "awe," which (agreed!) makes no sense. Still. Who doesn't want to keep their gadgets on their face? The only problem we forsee is: Where are you going to put your beer cans now? (via)


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Previously, we brought you the "Thriller" wedding dance. You thought the fun was over? Think again. Today we have the Dirty Dancing wedding dance, in which bride and groom perform the movie's climactic dance scene, accompanied by everyone's favorite upbeat duet, "Time of My Life." Folks, what can we tell you? We could not watch this entire thing. It hurt us down-deep. Our full-throttle cringe became overpowering. We are weak. Still, we urge you to power through. Do it. For all of us. (Thanks to Jo for sharing the love.)

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Kelis was arrested early this morning for “screaming racial obscenities at two female police officers who were posing as prostitutes.” Guess she chose the wrong corner to mouth off at the hookers. Now, let’s get to this mugshot. Ignoring the pink manga hair—which we’re undecided on--this is not bad at all. Man, is it us, or are mugshots getting way too good these days?

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As if we don’t already Mates of State enough, now Jason and Kori Gardner, the tour-diary-keeping indie popsters who also happen to make outstanding music, have posed naked for a PETA ad. (via)

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The new Christina Ricci-Samuel L. Jackson movie has a poster. Maybe you’ve seen it. Chains, a little sub-dom suggestion, a little slavery inversion? All in all, far superior to the ads for Norbit. Well, the movie clatters into theaters today, and so far, critical reaction is mixed. Our own Mike D’Angelo comes out positive, writing in his
Nerve review, “In our current climate of indie timorousness, it's almost refreshing to see a filmmaker with zero interest in subtlety." Meanwhile, in other publications, Dana Stevens calls the movie “bullshit,” and A.O. Scott writes that, underneath all the racy images "is a heart of pure, buttery cornpone.”


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Good ol’ Tony Blair. Wouldn’t mind having a pint with that chap. Here we see him at Oxford in the 1970s, behaving much like Oxford men do on occasion. What’s hilarious about today’s report on the photo is its gravity: “It’s the picture you were never meant to see.” Good lord, you’d think he posted naked photos on MySpace. What we want to know is: What's going on with his hair? Someone get this cat some AquaNet and an electric guitar.

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A rabbi responds to yesterday’s news that a dominatrix rented a home from a rabbinical school and turned it into a “sex dungeon.” "It’s like a calamity," the rabbi said. "I’ve never heard such a thing, and I don’t want to hear about it. It’s terrible."

Hey, at least there was no pork! Wait a minute...

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Florida city manager fired after announcing his plan to undergo a sex change. Almost 500 people packed city hall for a special meeting to decide his fate: “If Jesus was here tonight, I can guarantee you he’d want him terminated.”

At least 8 teens killed when a hurricane devastated their Alabama high school. Meanwhile, a charter bus for an Ohio college basketball team plunges off an Atlanta interstate, killing at least 6.

“Bug-eyed bandits” caught, and we couldn’t have written their named better ourselves: Ashley Nicole Miller and Heather Johnston.

DC madam considers selling 46 pounds of Washington dirt--i.e., phone records.



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Was composer Richard Wagner a cross-dresser? A story in today’s Guardian suggests so:

“Rumours about his proclivities circulated during his lifetime. His disciple, Hans von Wolzogen, who published a guide to the Leitmotifs in the Ring, recalled that Wagner had once appeared dressed in a lady's jacket. Another anecdote recounted that Wagner had escaped from his creditors in Vienna in 1864 dressed in women's clothes.”

Wagner experts will also remember that his fabled “Ring Cycle” was originally known as the "Ring Around the Collar Cycle,” in honor of his fetish for linens.


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Maybe it’s just us, but everything about this news report screams “understatement.” A) That the woman got four years for turning a man’s penis into a bonfire. (Take note, Brandon Davis: THAT is a firecrotch.) B) The doctor’s revelation that the woman needs help for “psychological and alcohol problems.” Really? Because she needs help for her lighter fluid problems, too. And the coup de grace? C) After having his weiner flambeed while he slept, the article tells us, the victim “had difficulty getting into relationships.” And everything else.

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Okay, so it starts with the Fonz introducing Henry Winkler, and then this guy sings a song about penises and vulvas, and at some point, there was John Ritter. Look, you just need to watch this. We're still not clear on one point, though: Is Henry Winkler really glad to see us?

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A tidbit about yours truly: We were a high school drama geek. Did all the plays, all the musicals, still know all the damn words to Grease. We know you’d never have guessed this from our superaloof coolness and high-minded taste in celebrities –OMG is that David Hasselhoff and Uncle Jesse?!—but we rocked a little Neil Simon in our day. But what was more fun (always!) than what happened onstage was what happened backstage. And so we bring you the tale of four female drama students who stripped to their underwear for a student film only to get suspended. (And you know it wasn’t an arts magnet school, because those kids didn’t even know you could do a student film with your clothes ON.) Alas, the news that will surely sadden some the most: “The tape has been confiscated.”

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We’ve been needing a little break from Manhattan. A retreat upstate, perhaps? Here’s a destination that hasn’t even hit the Rough Guide … yet. According a cover story in today’s New York Post:

“A meshugga madam who taught people how to be sex slaves turned a stately $3 million Westchester home owned by an ultra-Orthodox rabbinical school into an S&M dungeon, police claimed yesterday.

Chemero’s “dominatrix lair” is in the same tony community where Ralph Lauren and Martha Stewart reside, so at least we suspect the furniture and linens are tasteful. Sadly, mistress Sandra Chemero’s website, the Sovereign Estate, is currently inaccessible, but the Post does offer its own verbal snapshot: “In one sickening photo, she appears to be using a funnel and a tube to urinate into the mouth of a man who is bound and gagged.”

We agree. That is sickening! Golden showers don’t need a beer bong, they need a dry-ice slide.

UPDATE: Though the Sovereign Estate website is down, a crafty Scanner tipster sends in the description from the Google cache: "A place like no other, The Sovereign Estate is a female-led household, headed by an elegant, attractive dominant woman. Situated on four private acres, in a century old stately manor, here life is devoted to female superiority, proper training and etiquette for the betterment of men. The Sovereign Estate is a full time 24/7 environment, where submissives and slaves are immersed in training with a true lifestyle dominant woman. There is something unique about serving your Mistress in a home designed and appointed especially for her enjoyment. The Estate offers a myriad of opportunities found nowhere else. The Sovereign Estate is conveniently located in New York, convienent to New York City, JFK, La Guardia and Westchester County Airport. The Sovereign Estate is just minutes from major highways and is also accessible by train. You may contact The Sovereign Estate by: Email: TheSovereignEstate@gmail.com or Telephone: (917) 546-6820."



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An entire game in which a man tries to get away with passing as many farts as he can without being noticed. Where I come from, that’s called “Dinner With Uncle Bob.”

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Today’s PSA comes from PopBitch. To be filed under “fun facts”:

“LA's current concentration camp look isn't just the result of cocaine and eating disorders. Everyone's doing Clenbuterol. Prescribed as an asthma medication, Clenbuterol is taken by body-builders and now weight-watchers for its amazing fat-burning qualities. The drug works by raising body temperature, thereby burning more calories. But it's only designed to be taken temporarily and carefully. Ever wondered why celebrities always seemed to be hospitalised for asthma, dehydration and exhaustion?”

Hmm, makes you think, doesn't it?


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We've spoken previously about our love of contests, quizzes, trivia. (Who would you rather: quizzes or contests? As or Bs? Question marks or exclamation points?! We CANNOT STOP OURSELVES.) We just want to make sure Scanner readers don't miss Gwynne Watkins' Month in Sex Quiz on Nerve proper. We don't mind telling you, we received a nearly perfect score. The only thing between us and 100% was one tricky question about small breasts. (How would we know about THAT?) Good luck, friends. And if you tank, hey, there's always March.

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It's early yet, but we're ready to offer "story of the day" status to the tale of the "bug-eyed bandits," who are, as this Smoking Gun report explains, "a pair of young female robbers who yesterday stuck up a Bank of America branch wearing only fashionable bug-eyed sunglasses to disguise themselves." You know you're a slave to fashion when you just can't be bothered with a ski mask. Gah, my mascara will run! Obviously the question is: Who are these masked minxes? Or, asked another way: Which sorority do they belong to? The police need all the leads they can get. If you can identify them, please do so now.

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McCain announces his presidential run… on Letterman?

Pennsylvania middle school principal accused of selling meth. Not to be outdone, a teacher in South Carolina accused of having sex with five boys.

Stephen Hawking makes a date with weightlessness. Apparently, they met online.

Sydney’s Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras Parade to be broadcast online.


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