The Remote Island by Bryan Christian Nightline host gets pervy and racist — and we can't bring ourselves to make fun of him. PLUS: New Lost castaways and the So You Think You Can Dance finale.
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Scanner by Emily Farris Today on Nerve's culture blog: John McCain signs his wife up for a topless beauty pageant. Plus, the ten hottest athletes of the Olympics.
Sometimes SNL goes a bit overboard on the vaginal-product parodies, but this one cannot not be highlighted. The 1950s were a strange time for feminine hygiene — sanitary napkins involved an elaborate system of buckles and snaps. The show's female dreamteam collaborated on this ad for Kotex Classic, the brand more women choose because "it's so complicated," sending up ads for feminine products that boast their Zen-like simplicity, as if any of today's tampons and maxi pads are that complex. — WD
29. "Compulsion by Calvin Klein," SNL, 1987
Hartman shines in this parody of ludicrously self-important perfume ads, which now seem amazingly dated and beautifully '80s. "A translucent figure, glowing in the light and fire of her overwhelming passion," breathes narrator Hartman about the woman who can't stop cleaning, and who's neurotic hysteria captures the very essence of contrived Calvin Klein ads from the era. — CM
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28. "Home Stenographer," Chappelle's Show, 2003
Anyone who's been in a relationship knows that winning an argument means mastering one tactic: deny, deny, deny. "I never said I thought you were fat! I never said I think your best friend is hot!" Better pray your partner doesn't have a home stenographer who'll take down your every word in brisk, efficient shorthand. Only the makers of the Wrap-It-Up Box could come up with so useful a product. — WD
27. "Puppy Uppers," SNL, 1976
SNL has a thing for dogs. Maybe it's because it's filmed in New York, where even in freakishly cramped living situations people are willing to carve out a surprising amount of space for a large, hyperactive pet. In this SNL classic, Gilda Radner and Laraine Newman learn how to perk up a listless pooch the pharmaceutical way — with Puppy Uppers and Doggie Downers, two products for pets that are remarkably similar to the pills many people use to get through their day. — CM
26. "John Madden for Vagicil," MADtv, 2006
There are three types of impressions people try to do. The bad ones (Jack Nicholson, Marlon Brando), the pretty good ones (a category that encompasses most TV sketch shows), and the ones so perfect they're indistinguishable from the person being imitated. Frank Caliendo's John Madden impression falls into this third category — it's one of the best things on MADtv, and it basically doesn't matter what Caliendo says or does. Usually he's hawking some product — in this case, a feminine itch cream — with a bluster and incoherence that makes Madden himself the overall parody. You don't need to be a football fan whatsoever. — WD
25. "Zoloft," MADtv, 2006
Anyone who watched primetime television between 1999 and 2003 is
familiar with the Zoloft Depression Egg. Its ubiquity was cloying enough, but it was Pfizer's attempt to personalize a psychological malady with an adorable mascot that was truly offensive. This bit goes for a few lame low-blows ("tendency to waste votes on green party," indeed), but the straight tone works remarkably well overall. — JC
24. "Royal Deluxe II," SNL, 1977
Dan Aykroyd was the obvious casting choice for the motormouthed pitchman selling the Royal Deluxe II (which was one pimp car, by the way) by demonstrating its ample shocks via a bris performed in the backseat. It's one of those nail-biters, where you know the baby isn't really a baby and the rabbi isn't really a rabbi and the car probably isn't even moving, and you're watching through your fingers anyway. — PS
23. "Extremely Stupid People," SNL, 1976
As commercial satire, this sketch is pretty thin gruel; as an SNL moment, it's immortal for Candice Bergen fumbling — before completely destroying — her straight-woman role. The sweet smile that Gilda Radner wears as she twists the knife and Bergen bursts into laughter in the background is timeless. Proof positive that SNL was usually more endearing when it went badly. — PS
22. "I Wanna Be a Ho," SNL, 1981
With his incongruous sign affixed to the aluminum-siding wall behind him, and his stilted, scripted arm gestures, Beverly Hills Cop-era Eddie Murphy set the bar high for mail-order adult-education commercial parodies. "Are you a female high-school dropout between the ages of sixteen and twenty-five?" asks Velvet Jones. "Are you tired of lying around in bed all day with nothing to do? Well, you never need get up again." His book, I Wanna Be a Ho, is backed up by a genuine ho testimonial and promises to turn around the lives of young women for just $19.95. "What more could a woman ask for?" — WD
21. "Uncle Jemima's Pure Mash Liquor," SNL, 2000
What's better than re-appropriating racial stereotypes? Tracy Morgan re-appropriating racial stereotypes while cross-dressing and swatting at cartoon Disney-esque songbirds. Uncle Jemima wants to sell you his Uncle Jemima's Pure Mash Liquor. Why? Because "you like to get bent just as fast as possible." A truly off-the-rails take-down of feel-good food commercials. — NA
