The Remote Island : The Tonight Show

Matt Giraud: Better After "Idol"?

Lindy Parker — Fri, 15 May 2009 20:34:00 GMT

Is it us or has Matt Giraud gotten like a hundred times better since he got voted off American Idol? Here's some examples...

Matt on Ellen...

RIght? He's more confident and suave, and his voice sounds amazing. We don't remember him sounding quite that good when he performed "Let's Get It On" on American Idol.

Matt on Regis and Kelly...

Except for Regis forgetting his mic was still on and talking over the first part of Matt's song, that version of "So Small" was also significantly more relaxed and smooth than his original Idol performance. In fact, the only post-Idol appearance in which Matt seemed less than comfortable was the Tonight Show...

Previously:

American Idol: The Piano Man
American Idol: Rat Pack Brats
American Idol: Disco Double Down
American Idol: Somebody Save Me

When Leno Goes Primetime, Talk Shows Will Outnumber Other NBC Programming By Half-An-Hour

Jake Kalish — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 14:32:00 GMT

There's been a ton of great writing on this whole "Leno in Primetime Land" thing -- Alan Sepinwall's scathing analysis for the NJ Star-Ledger, Bill Zehme's claustrophobically weird yet undeniably insightful essay on Leno for The Daily Beast -- but the most interesting thing we've read about the effects of Leno's move to 10 p.m. comes from the LA Times' business section, which notes that when this goes down, NBC will have 17 1/2 hours of nightly talkshows a week, as compared to only 17 primetime hours of everything else - reality shows, sitcoms, dramas, Deal or No Deal. As a consequence, the going's gonna be real tough on every talk-show host not named Leno to book guests. Jay, of course, dismisses any potential effect this might have on The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien:

That won't be any problem. I mean, it's less of a problem than if we were on competing networks. . . . I would rather fight with my family than the other networks.

Well, yeah, you say that; you're the guy in primetime.

O'Brien, of course, is still keeping on his happy face, but another question remains: what the hell will everybody talk about for seventeen and a half hours on NBC? The fact that no one watches anything else on the network? Are we not getting into chicken/egg territory here?

Michelle Obama Saves The Economy With $340 J.Crew Ensemble

Jake Kalish — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 21:05:00 GMT

Michelle Obama appeared on The Tonight Show last night wearing a $340 ensemble she bought online from J.Crew. For all you fashionistas out there, that's a pembridge dot camilla skirt ($148) an Italian deco tank ($99.99) and a crystal button color block cardigan ($89.99). Well, nice for her, right? And bad for Sarah Palin.

Not so fast, kids, this story ain't over. Once Mrs. Obama divulged she got the gear from J.Crew, middle-class women across America immediately went all apeshit crazy to look just like her. Views of the skirt went up 464% from the day before, and people trying to buy any of the three pieces faced long delays on the checkout page. The mania spread in-store from online, too: the Rockefeller Center J.Crew had to pull all of the cardigans off the racks to put them on reserve for customers who called for them first thing in the morning.

Ms. Obama refused the temptation to criticize the $150,000 layout by the Republicans for Sarah Palin's ensembles, though, saying " A VP pick, it's like being shot out of a cannon. All of the sudden you're the center of attention, and you want to look good." True. It's just too bad no one in the Republican party vetted block cardigans and deco tanks.

- Jake Kalish is the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights

TV Tonight: Obama and Biden Might Appear on Leno, Opposite McCain and Palin on Letterman

Ben Kallen — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 16:20:00 GMT

Tonight at 11:35, the late-night talk show wars could get even more heated than yesterday's presidential debate. That's because the hour's big comic rivals, Jay and Dave, have been suggesting that all four candidates might show up for some jokes and chat.

In this corner: Late Show With David Letterman. We reported earlier that John McCain is slated to show up for a tongue-lashing from Dave after skipping out on his scheduled appearance a while back. But now we're hearing that McCain might bring an apology gift along with him: Lipsticked bulldog Sarah Palin.

Last night, Dave said that McCain had "hinted" he'd be bringing Palin along. Still, he seemed doubtful that it would happen. “I think he was trying to make me feel better. Like, ‘Oh, I know we’ve got the hook in Letterman now.’ But I don’t think she’ll be here. Miss Alaska will probably not be here.”

If she does show up, it'll be a brilliant move by McCain. We all know how much Dave likes a pretty face (not to mention the ratings Palin would be sure to bring), and seeing the two of them flirt and spar would be great television. Plus, they'd all have so much to talk about that there wouldn't be time to dwell on McCain's earlier no-show -- or his lagging campaign, for that matter.

In the other corner: The Tonight Show With Jay Leno. Jay mentioned earlier in the week that he'll be having vice-presidential candidate Joe Biden on tonight. (Good counter-programming? Er, possibly -- except, whatever your politics may be, Biden isn't exactly Mr. Excitement.)

But at the same time, Leno said Biden might "bring a friend." And if that friend happens to be Barack Obama, well, then we'll have a contest. The New York Post points out that both Obama and McCain are scheduled to attend a dinner in New York tonight, so Obama's appearance would probably have to be via satellite. But given Jay's lighter-weight interviewing style, that would probably work out just fine.

What are the chances that all four of them will show up? We'll say 50-50 -- and we're setting two DVRs, just in case.

Previously:
Video Fun: Hey, John McCain -- You Won't Like Dave When He's Angry

All of a Sudden, Everyone's Talking About H@ndj*bs

Ben Kallen — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 17:55:00 GMT

This is a post about sex, and it involves Megan Fox and Kristen Bell. Interested yet? Then let's get started:

First, we need to discuss the greatest interview ever published, which GQ did with Transformers megahottie Megan Fox. (Did you know she also played the daughter on Hope & Faith? Us neither.)

By now, you've probably seen the part where she talks about how she was once in love with a Russian stripper -- but if not, we'll recap. Just for fun.

"That year my boyfriend broke up with me, and I decided—oh man; sorry, Mommy!—that I was in love with this girl that worked at the Body Shop [a strip club on Sunset Boulevard]. I decided that I was going to get her to love me back, and I went out of my way to create a relationship with this girl, a stripper named Nikita. I was there all the time—I would go there by myself. I bought her things—perfume, body spray, girlie stuff. I turned into a weird middle-aged married man. I felt like I had this need to save Nikita. I’d get lap dances so I could get to know her, and I’d give her what I thought were great little sound bites of inspiration—like You can do it, you’re better than this! I didn’t want her to be there.”

Why her?

“She smelled like angels.”

Seriously?

“No. Well, she did smell good. Like vanilla. She was sort of a tough badass, but she’d do these beautiful slow dances to Aerosmith ballads."

But that's not even the part we're talking about. It's this section, where she insists that, despite some nasty rumors, she didn't perform a certain act on fiancé Brian Austin Green in public. (That's right -- Megan Fox is engaged to David Silver. But the unfairness of life isn't the point here.)

It seems like the closest you’ve come to a controversy... are those paparazzi photos of you reaching under the table to grope Brian at a restaurant.

“I don’t understand why they’re so scandalous. When they first came out, it was like, Megan Fox was giving Brian a blow job in pub—I mean, uh—a hand job in public. First: Who gives hand jobs? Who’s given a hand job since seventh grade? Not me. And who does it at a café on a public street? I touch him all the time. It’s just like, if you have a girlfriend, you grab her butt or whatever. That’s all it was, but it became a big deal. I don’t know why. For me, touching Brian’s dick for two seconds—that’s not part of our sex life. That’s me playing around; you know, you just cup it a little. For a few seconds.”

So, now that we've got all that out of the way, you're wondering: What does this have to do with lovely Veronica Mars and Heroes star Kristen Bell?

For that, we'll just have to show you her appearance on The Tonight Show last night, which was going just fine until douchey comedian Dane Cook decided to chime in about how she couldn't perform a similar act because of her Heroes electricity-from-the-fingers power.

Other than that, it's a good interview, so watch the whole thing.

Photo: GQ

Previously:
How Rude! Bob Saget Roast Full of Sex Jokes
Top 10 Returning Shows: Heroes

Mr. Leno, Please Stop Drooling on Scarlett Johansson

Ben Kallen — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 21:24:00 GMT

In the Tonight Show interview above, Jay ogles Scarlett's boobs, then he quotes sex articles from Cosmo, then he asks her about her sexual fantasies, and then he talks about his own adventures in public car sex. And now we're never getting to sleep.

Previously:
What the Heck Is Going On With Jay Leno?

Video Weekend: Eight Great Standup Comics

Ben Kallen — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 21:00:00 GMT

One of the things TV does really well is to sponsor great comedy, and send it straight to your home. After all, not every town has its own comedy club -- and even if there is a local Chuckle Hut in your community, you usually have to sit through one or two lame, ancient or belligerent routines for every good one. TV, on the other hand, is full of comedians working at their best -- on Comedy Central, on HBO and on every late-night talk show, not to mention Comic Relief and Last Comic Standing.

We've selected footage from eight of the funniest comedians ever, performing at various times over the past 25 years. And we can pretty much guarantee that they'll make you laugh -- although the two-drink minimum is at your own discretion.

George Carlin on a Comic Relief benefit special in the '80s

Jerry Seinfeld returns to standup on Late Show With David Letterman

Richard Pryor on the '70s music show Midnight Special

Sarah Silverman on Evening at the Improv in 1992

Steve Martin performs "magic" on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show

Mitch Hedberg on The Late Show

Young Steven Wright on an unknown standup show

Jim Gaffigan on Comedy Central

Image: Fox

Previously:
Comedy Central Finally Lets Go of TV Funhouse
RIP: George Carlin
Gentlemen, Sarah Silverman Is Single Again

Kelsey Grammer Hospitalized Again

Ben Kallen — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:35:00 GMT

Frasier star Kelsey Grammer is back in the hospital, where he's being checked for an irregular heartbeat following his recovery from a heart attack a couple of months ago. According to the medical experts at Entertainment Tonight, the problem may have been caused by the medication he's taking.

In this Tonight Show clip from last week, Grammer suggested that the attack was less "mild" than anybody thought. Then he (jokingly, sort of) blamed it on the cancellation of Back to You.

Previously:
What the Heck Is Going On With Jay Leno?

What the Heck Is Going On With Jay Leno?

Ben Kallen — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 18:33:00 GMT

We're pretty confused about the whole situation ourselves. So we'll let other people figure it out for us:

Leno's last day as host of The Tonight Show is next May 29, and Conan O'Brien will take over on June 1.

Jay showed up at a news conference in disguise to ask about his situation, echoing the way Jimmy Kimmel did the same thing. But when Leno did it, he sounded kind of bitter.

NBC is still talking to Jay about staying with the network in some capacity. But Jay says he's "done with NBC."

Leno's fans will follow him when he goes to another network. Or they might not. Then again, there may be nowhere for him to go.

On the other hand, as a retiring Baby Boomer, he should forget TV entirely and go into nursing, consulting or real estate.

Previously:
You Can't Get Rid of Jay Leno That Easily

You Can't Get Rid of Jay Leno That Easily

Ben Kallen — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 17:25:00 GMT

Jay Leno, who's being replaced as host of The Tonight Show by Conan O'Brien next year, is strongly hinting that he plans to stick around TV -- but not on NBC. Quoted in USA Today, the workaholic comedian actually sounded a little testy about the network, despite having agreed that the changeover was a mutual decision when it was announced way back in 2004.

"I am definitely done next year — with NBC," he says, sitting in a huge recliner in his poster-strewn shop office. Would he go to another network? Leno just smiles. "I'm not a beach guy, and the last time I was in my pool was to fix a light. Don't worry, I'll find a job somewhere."

We bet he will -- and it's an open secret that other networks would love to bag the sleepy-time star for their own late-night spots. As we mentioned a couple of days ago, the issue was raised at a press interview with ABC entertainment chief Stephen McPherson, where Jimmy Kimmel pretended to be a reporter and semi-jokingly asked about it, as if his own job were on the line. "There are rumors that ABC is actively courting Jay Leno for 11:30," Kimmel said. "Is there any truth to those rumors?" McPherson declined to answer, but later said, "I can't believe [NBC is] going to let this guy go at the top of his game... If that happens, we'll look at it at the time."

By the way, you can read the rest of that USA Today interview with Leno if you want. . . but it's all about his (yawn) car collection.

Previously:
Late-Night Bites