The Remote Island : Lost

Top 5 Reasons We Resent "Lost"

"Lost": It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday

Olivia Purnell — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 17:30:00 GMT

The much-hyped 100th episode of Lost has come and gone and we're feeling . . .

Well, we're feeling like putting that old school Boys II Men Jam on blast, and letting that smooth 90's R&B melody ease our confusion/sadness.

Let's address our Sadness first:

Daniel Faraday is gone??? Here's the thing, we're really glad the big Lost death wasn't Juliet. And, in general, the Daniel character hasn't been a favorite of ours. His spastic manerisms, perpetual squint, and Captain Kirk speech patterns were a little grating. But this episode, we found Skinny D's long-haired burst of bravery and last minute heroism kind of touching. He rushed headlong into danger to undo what his mother helped do to them all. He tried to change what mama bear called "their destiny."

And his mother! Eloise, you asshole! Poor Daniel gets shot in the back by his mother in 1974, when she is just some naive gun-toting hostile. But present day Eloise knows all. She knowingly and willingly sent her son to the past to get shot in the back by her former self. And his father, Charles mother effing Widmore was complicit. What a family, huh?

And that leads us to our Confusion:

Daniel decides during this episode that he's going to change the past. As we all know, Skinny is the physicist who's been telling us since day 1 that you can't change the past. But apparently upon rexamining his little leather-bound notebook Danny figures, maybe the rules aren't so hard and fast. He says that the past is a constant but when adding the variable of human will into the equation the outcome can be changed.

We didn't do that well in Math. We were eventually asked to leave Calculus (as though our presence defiled the very nature of the subject). But from what we remember through a haze of blackboard chalk and graph paper, Daniel's logic doesn't make a lot of sense. Can X be both a constant and a variable outcome? No, right? Mathletes, it's your time to shine. Help a sister out. If we're playing by the rules set up by Lost writers, can they actually change the past? Can they erase the last 5 seasons with a hydrogen bomb and the help of one bitchy hostile named Eloise?

We say no.

Also, word on the street was that those stupid Flash Forward promos were going to reveal Lost secrets and Flash Forward secrets and all kinds of secrets. Maybe we're a little slow but . . .

We don't see no stinkin' secrets. If you do, again, help a sister out.

Previously:

"Lost: Is Ben Gonna Make It?

Today in Baseless Rumors: Matthew Perry On the "Lost" Finale

"Lost: Is Ben Gonna Make It?

Top 5 Reasons We Resent "Lost"

Olivia Purnell — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 18:05:00 GMT

Five seasons in, and we are still thouroughly addicted to this show. But, as the 100th Episode of Lost approaches, we've got a couple of polar bear bones to pick with Lost producers.

Here we go:

We resent . . .

5. Homework. As though it isn't enough that we watch every week, Lost producers want to give us afterschool assignments too? Next week ABC will air promo clips of it's new series Flash Forward during Lost. Said clips will direct us to a website. What? No. We will not go to your GD website, unless it contains vital information about Lost. Oh, it does? damn.

4. Love-Pimping. Stop pimping our love of Lost. Really, ABC? You're really gonna make us watch previews of a series that you haven't even ordered yet, by dangling the promise of Lost answers in front of us like a piece of carmelized bacon? (It sounds gross but it's sugary-salty deliciousness; you've got to try it.)

3. Clip-Shows. We watch the show. We don't need the slot filling Cliff's Notes. It's insulting.

2. J.K.S. Love Triangle. We hereby reject any and all Jack-Kate-Sawyer love theatrics. We don't like Kate's meaningful looks, Sawyers lovestruck bullshit (what about Juliet!), or Jack's resigned stare. Jack's like a beaten puppy who's just been neutered. Give him his balls back, please.

1. Interminable Mythology. We know it's never gonna end. But we can't stop watching. They had us at "what lies in the shadow of the statue," but this week apparently "Daniel Faraday (Jeremy Davies) will come clean about what he knows about the island."

Like a Rubik's Cube we've been turning around for hours, or a never ending gobstopper that we've been sucking on forevs, we can't quit now. We're just about to get to the deliciously mind blowing center of all things Lost. We just gotta work that cube faster or suck a little harder . . . or uh, something.

(thrfeed.com)

Previously:

Today in Baseless Rumors: Matthew Perry On the "Lost" Finale

Today in Baseless Rumors: Matthew Perry On the "Lost" Finale

"Lost": Is Ben Gonna Make It?

Olivia Purnell — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 15:08:00 GMT

First of all, can we take a moment to absorb the sexy librarian/Raiders of the Lost Ark situation that is going on in the above photo? Michael Emerson you're making us blush with those cargo pants and smoldering eyes.

Okay, now onto the important question: Will sexy Michael's character Ben Linus make it through the rest of this season?

Here's what we know:

1. Benjamin's no longer top dog with the powers that be on the island. The black smoke almost choked him out and told him to be John Locke's bitch or else.

2. Ben never does the expected, kinda hates John Locke, and doesn't like being number 2. So . . . following the black smoke decree may be a little difficult for him.

3. Someone dies. We knew this weeks ago. And the character that goes will be a "current series regular [ . . .] much loved by many of you fans" (eonline.com). Who do you love to hate to love more than Ben? Who? No one.

4. Michael Emerson tells tvguide.com that during the season finale "we finally get to lay eyes on certain much talked-about characters that have never been shown before." Could he mean Jacob? If so, couldn't Jacob lay the smack down on good old Ben for any number of reasons? Also, can you even wait to see Jacob? We literally just clapped our hands at the thought.

We're still on the fence. We don't have enough evidence. We've resorted to looking for traces of fear and resentment in Michael Emerson's eyes.

Thoughts?

(tvguide.com)

Previously:

"Lost": Rundown of Theories Regarding The Fate of Ben Linus Neglects One -- Ours

Somebody's Gonna Die On "Lost" For Real This Time

"Fringe": Can The Crackling Tension And Girl-on-Girl Action Last? Please?

Bryan Christian — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 14:28:00 GMT

Could it be that Hollywood hack Akiva Goldsman is responsible for one of the best episodes of Fringe so far? Maybe so. The secret: get somewhere with the backstory, mix in a bunch of references to Japanese splatter movies, toss in a light sauce of lady/stripper sex, and voila!

Click through for a few notes -- and a pic of what happens a few frames after the one above!

OK, well, Remote Chenda is off Coachellaing so we're not going to be getting into this episode as deeply as she might, but we'll just say, to our unending surprise: we hope Akiva Goldsman sticks around, because last night's episode balanced menace, comedy, and mytharc just about perfectly. Normally any episode with Olivia piggybacking a dude's mind while he had sex with a stripper would be enough for us, obvs, but there's so much more to like than that: the opening scene was nicely creepy, not to mention a little sad; we actually managed to learn a teeny bit more about Olivia's childhood and her apparent connection with the ZFT; THEY BROUGHT BACK THE ZFT, which we were not sure they would get back to... all that AND we finally got a lissen of Leonard Nimoy as William Bell. And don't get us started on Walter's reaction to someone jumping off a building when Olivia was supposed to be saving them: "I hope Olivia meant to do that," right after BOOM, this poor bystander lands on the top of a car, Die Hard-style. That is some black, black humor, Fringe! We like!

Hey, while we're thinking about the ZFT: we're beginning to think that this whole ZFT/The Pattern thing is basically going to play out like The Dharma Initiative/The Others. As in: we thought at first that they were the same thing, but now actually it seems that they're revealing themselves to be the two forces at war with each other. Did everyone else already get this? Are we just slow on the uptake? Whatevs. We're too happy about this week's ep to even care.

Heck, we don't even mind that fully 2/3rds of the death scenes were kind of ripped off of the classic J-splatter flick Suicide Club:

Any chance we'll get a Battle Royale-themed ep next? Or, um, do they just call that "Lost"?

"Lost": Make Room For Miles

Olivia Purnell — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 17:05:00 GMT

We've been sort of iffy on some of the newer Lost characters. Daniel Faraday? He sometimes works our very last nerve. Charlotte? Red had to go. But Miles is different.

Anybody who's a friend (sort of) to Hurley, talks to dead people, and listens to Captain and Tenille while cruising around in a VW bus, is a-okay with us.

Also, he's kind of a sarcastic asshole (which we're into). This week we see where he gets it from.

Miles is a chip off the old crochety block

Dr. Pierre Chang is Miles' Daddy.

Along with Richard "Pretty Ricky" Alpert, Dr. Chang, (aka Doctors Edgar Halliwax, Mark Wickmund, and Marvin Candle from the orientation videos) is one of the island's most intriguing peripheral characters. First, what's up with the names homie? Edgar Halliwax? Second, as a Doctor with classified clearance, Chang knows all. This week he threatened Hurley with Polar Bear Poop Duty (hmmm, should've gone with dump duty or poop patrol), wherein Hugo would have to clean up after the bears and their "silly little experiments." What kind of experiments? Why the polar bears? What else was Dharma into? Now that Chang's linked to Miles, we have a better chance of finding out.

Back to Miles. As a Hot Topic wearing teen, Miles wanted to know more about his absentee father. Miles finds out from his dying mother that Daddy Chang kicked them out and never cared about them. So Miles goes about his life as a ghost whisperer, conning grieving families out of their money.

Suddenly Naomi appears. You remember Naomi. The G.I. Jane who leads the expedition to capture Ben. Naomi recruits Miles to her motley crew while wearing what we can only describe as a horrifying hair piece. And Homegirl is working that wig. She's wearing no less that two feet of discount caliber wavy weave and trying to pass it off as her own. The hair is so obvious that we have to wonder if it could play into the plot somehow. Was Naomi a commando in chemo? If not, the hair and makeup dept. should be ashamed of themselves.

Anyway, Miles accepts Naomi's 1.36 Million dollar offer to join Widmore's team. Then he's pulled into a van by mask-wearing avengers, who tell him that he should defect from the Widmore gang and join their "side," so that he can know "what lies in the shadow of the statue." Miles, being the money grubbing a-hole that he is (and we love him for it) says gimme some money and I'm down. The head kidnapper, who made an appearance last week as one of the gun-toting passengers from the latest crash, tells Miles that they'll guarantee him personal fulfillment and a relationship with his Dad.

Miles takes the 1.3, obvs. Papa didn't raise no fool. Well, papa didn't raise him at all. But that's neither here nor there. Here's what we like about this episode:

1. Naomi's wig.

2. Hurley uses Star Wars to help Miles with his Daddy issues. Perfect.

3. The new islanders are somehow complicit in the island mischief. They "know what lies in the shadow of the statue" and we wanna know what they know and how they know it and how come Ben didn't know that they knew. Or did he?

Lost makes our brain hurt sometimes.

Previously:

"Lost": This Is Not Back To The Future

"Lost": Rundown of Theories Regarding The Fate Of Ben Linus Neglects One -- Ours

"Lost": Sayid's Breaking All The Rules

Congratulations Josh "Sawyer" Holloway!

Lindy Parker — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 15:00:00 GMT

Here's the thing: Josh Holloway and his wife just had a new baby girl, and we couldn't be more thrilled for them. Really. It's just that we gave up coffee eleven days ago, and we're doing fine -- thanks for asking -- but just because we're over the hump of the first miserable week without caffeine doesn't mean we need Josh Holloway and his annoyingly fashionable wife going out of their way to rub it in our face...

Josh and his wife, Yessica (that dress is fierce, no?) welcomed their first child, Java Kumala last week. Again, not that we're not psyched for you, but really, guys? Java? We admit to being a bit high strung about the coffee issue, but a) you could've been more sensitive to our needs, and b) as a name, "Java" is right under "Petal Blossom Rainbow."

Previously:

Naked Chef Jamie Oliver Saddles Newborn Daughter With Flowery Baby Name

Ashlee and Pete: In Defense of Weird Baby Names

Ashlee Simpson Jumps on The Weird Baby Name Bandwagon

Congratulations Scott Wolf and Kelly From "Real World: New Orleans"

Congratulations, Carson Daly!

Today in Baseless Rumors: Matthew Perry on the "Lost" Finale?

Lindy Parker — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 22:00:00 GMT

Okay, really? Can this possibly be true? It's not that we're against the idea of Matthew Perry on Lost -- we've always sort of liked him, after all -- but rather that it's hard to imagine him actually getting the invite to the island. Still stranger things have happened. We're going to do some investigating...

Remember a couple weeks back when Matthew Perry (of "Friends" fame, in case you've forgotten) announced his burning desire to return to TV as a character on "Lost"?
Well, apparently, Hollywood website IMDb.com -- a site many industry types use as a resource fairly often -- has decided to grant Matthew's wish, giving him a role in "Lost"'s two-part season finale. Credited as "George Hobbes" in "The Incident" parts 1 and 2, if the casting is correct, Chandler Bing and Jacob just might be one in the same. (Zap2It)

Wow, is that all it takes for a former Friend to get a gig on his favorite TV show? Just say the word, and imdb.com does the rest? Is imdb.com the Field of Dreams of television casting -- "if we publish it they will cast?" Jennifer Aniston on Heroes? Absolutely. David Schwimmer on Bones? Sure why not.

Previously:

"Lost": This Is Not Back To The Future

"Lost": Rundown of Theories Regarding The Fate Of Ben Linus Neglects One -- Ours

Showtime Rejects "The L Word" Women's Prison Spinoff - And Matthew Perry Can't Get A Showtime Show, Either

Showtime Picks Up Matthew Perry's "End of Steve"

"Lost": We're So Over Ben

Olivia Purnell — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 16:00:00 GMT

Remember when Benjamin Linus was the greatest villain ever?

He emerged inexplicably from the depths of jungle. He withstood Sayid's ninja-level torture techniques. You didn't know who he was, what his people were about, or why he was wearing that raggedy assed wardrobe when obviously "the others" had Banana Republic access and a washer-dryer unit at their disposal. But the pirate-wear added to his mystique. He was a tricky bastard and kind of a psycho.

He had the villian "it" factor, the bwah, in the bwah-ha-ha that makes the bad guy so scary. But now, he's a little less like Count Dracula and a little more like Count Chocula (without the magically delicious marshmallow infused cereal).

He's not terrifying anymore.

We know all about Ben. He was an unhappy loser kid who was chosen by the island (or Richard "eyeliner" Alpert) to lead "the others." In order to take his rightful place as king of the "hostiles," Ben slaughtered the Dharma folk (including dear old Dad, if we're not mistaken). But he saved a baby, called her Alex, and raised her, only to let her be shot in the head, execution style by a mercinary. Ben's a maniac. But at this point, that's old news. It's no longer scary. It's just fact.

But this episode, we were supposed to find Ben newly intriguing, or even sympathetic.

Ben apparently came back to the island to repent for his sins and be judged by the black smoke for letting his daughter get shot in the head. That seems a little out of character, no? Also, what about all those Dharma bitches that he killed? No need to repent for those souls? What about the dude he shot on the beach, like 5 minutes ago? No harm no foul?

Who cares about Ben's guilty conscious? He's not supposed to have a conscious. That's part of the whole perfect villian thing. And if he was going to be judged, he should have died this episode. There's something utterly unsatisfying about watching a genocidal sociopath ask for his due punishment then walk away scott-free.

Previously:

"Lost": This Is Not Back To The Future

"Lost": Rundown of Theories Regarding The Fate Of Ben Linus Neglects One -- Ours

"Lost": Sayid's Breaking All The Rules

"Lost": This Is Not Back To The Future

Olivia Purnell — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 18:15:00 GMT

After a ton of speculation about baby Ben Linus' possible death in 1977 and the past-present-future mind fuck that is Lost, we got some answers this week.

Like the rest of the blogverse we had hopes and dreams as to how all of this would go down. We were digging Remote Bryan's theories about Ben bending the time-space rules to make sure that the present day island survives. Instead we found out that the rules ("whatever happened, happens") are hard and fast. Unlike Back to the Future, shit doesn't change according to the islander's time travelling whims. They they can't mess with the past. They can only affect their present which just so happens to be in the past.

Who explains this complex system of time and the mysterious relationship between the past and the present and the future. Genius boy Daniel Farraday? Nope.He's still off in the jungle mourning Charlotte. Richard Alpert? No, he's back at the 'hostile' camp applying eyeliner. Who then? Miles and Hurley, of course. Miles, the ghost whisperer and Hurley "I see dead people" Reyes explain the goings on. Mmm-hmm. Bask in the ridiculousness of Heckle and Jeckle telling us like it is:

So, little Ben doesn't die, obvi.

Instead, Kate and Sawyer bring the wounded kid to Richard Alpert. Richard takes mini-Ben to be healed by the island at the expense of his innocence. Thus creating the monster that is big Ben Linus. Oh, yeah, and little Ben will have no memory of the event. Conveniently solving Miles and Hurley's little conundrum.

We feel ... less than satisfied. We thought Ben would prob survive the shooting. We just wanted more from the storyline. Ben's memory wipe seems a little easy, doesn't it? Shouldn't he have remembered the whole thing? Shouldn't it play into the present day relationship between bossman Ben and hitman Sayid? Wouldn't that make you want to rewatch the old school Ben/Sayid torture scenes with this new info in mind???

We're a little dissapointed.

Previously:

"Lost": Rundown of Theories Regarding The Fate Of Ben Linus Neglects One -- Ours

"Lost": Sayid's Breaking All The Rules

"Lost": The Gang's All Here . . . Sort Of

"Lost": Rundown of Theories Regarding The Fate Of Ben Linus Neglects One -- Ours

Bryan Christian — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 17:36:00 GMT

Bully to New York's Vulture blog for wading through the various Lost-omaniacs on the web for the theories surrounding what happened to li'l Ben last week. Weird, though, that no one out there seems to have stumbled on to our theory.

Ben Lives And Dies

There are a couple of ways for this to work. One is that the death of Little Ben was one of the "unpredictable" things that Ms. Hawking said would happen if everyone didn't come back. The other is that Ben is the thing that the Island wants "fixed", and that the only way to do it was to send people back in time to take care of him before he got too smart. Either way, the end is the same -- that "war" that Ben and Widmore were talking about early in the season? That's a war between 1977 and today, and Ben will fight to his dying breath to ensure that the present day survives.

Nice, right? You can see how this becomes a whole series of switcheroos -- Widmore becomes a kind of good guy, fighting to correct the timestream; everything we know about the chronology of the Island is up for grabs -- and therefore becomes interesting again in the series' final shows; Richard can become a kind of timecop, patrolling the centuries and never aging... hey, wait a second. When the hell did this show become Star Trek: Enterprise?

PREVIOUSLY:

"Lost:" Sayid's Breaking All The Rules

"Lost": The Gang's All Here . . . Sort of

Matthew Fox Is So Done With TV After "Lost"

"Lost:" Sayid's Breaking All The Rules

Olivia Purnell — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 16:30:00 GMT

Doesn’t he know the Lost commandments?

Thou Shalt Sleep With At Least One Other Islander.

Thou Shalt Not Maintain Luscious Locks of Glory Whilst The Island Masses Continue to Look Raggedy and Unkempt.

And, most importantly:

Thou Shalt Definitely Not . . .

[SPOILER ALERT]

. . . destroy the time-space continuum.

Isn’t that what happened?

Isn’t that what happens if you kill a person in the past thereby effectively changing the entire course of events that led you to be in the past in the first place? Didn’t the Lost writers tell us, via the very dry lips of crazy Daniel Faraday, that whatever has happened is what happens and you can’t change what happens?

Lost writers led us to believe that the time traveling, Losties would not be able to affect historical change.

Then all of a sudden, Sayid pops up in 1977 with dangerously styled hair, meets a young pre-genocidal Ben Linus, decides it’s time to put baby Ben to bed in order to change the course of history, and that’s okay? We call bullshit.

It’s not that we don’t agree with Sayid. We almost always agree with Sayid. 1977 Ben is an evil little bastard in training. As an adult Ben destroys lives on a regular basis. And we applaud Sayid’s efforts to transform Lost into Terminator: The Sayid Jarrah Chronicles, thus saving the future island from Ben’s machine reign of terror.

But, we also don’t like being lied to, Lost writers. And we feel lied to . . .

Unless, Ben’s not dead. Ben’s not effing dead, is he? The island has healing properties. A kid could take a bullet to the chest and survive it. The 'Sayid shooting the kid' scene was a trick, wasn’t it? Hmmmm, is being tricked more upsetting or less upsetting than being lied to?

Previously:

"Lost": The Gang's All Here . . . Sortof

"Lost's" Evangeline Lilly Squashes Internet Rumors

Somebody's Gonna Die On "Lost," For Real This Time

"Lost": The Gang's All Here . . . Sort of

Olivia Purnell — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 19:30:00 GMT

Oh, Sun don't look so sad . . .

[SPOILER ALERT]

You'll be reunited with Jin soon. Apparently Jack's dead father Christian will see to it. Christian is going to be helping Sun accross time to meet up with Jin in 1977. Why? Why do they need to stay in 1977? Why can't we transport the survivors back to present day? Why do they have to kick it with the Dharma Initiative in the 70's?

Our guess is that some of them are happier in the post hippie era. Take for example, Sawyer. He's really come into his own in the age of Aquarius. He's head man in charge in '77. He finally gets to boss Jack around. And Jack has to do what he says. Look who's eating the humble pie these days. We actually love this turn of events. After three years of pill popping and boozing Dr. Jack (turned Dharma janitor) needs to be put in his place.

What we don't love is Said being incarcerated like a common hostile. We heart Said. And we just know that the Dharma folk aren't giving him the products necessary to adequately condition his lustrous locks. Do the humane thing Dharma. At least give the man a simple solution of papaya and milk.

As this 1977 plotline continues to unfold, we feel more certain that Juliet is in jeopardy. We know that one of the survivors is on the chopping block. Juliet seems more and more expendable, doesn't she? Like if she'd just stay in the Dharma auto shop, Kate and Sawyer could spend some quality time listening to Paul Simon and putting flowers in each other's hair. Yuck.

Previously:

Matthew Fox Is So Done With TV After "Lost"

Somebody's Gonna Die On "Lost," For Real This Time

"Lost": Sawyer To The Rescue

"Lost's" Evangeline Lilly Squashes Internet Rumors

Matthew Fox Is So Done With TV After "Lost"

Jake Kalish — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 21:30:00 GMT

Matthew Fox now says Lost, which wraps next season, will probably be the "last television thing that I will do." Is that such a good idea? We're not sure. See, it's not that Matthew Fox can't do movies - he certainly can. But his track record is a hell of a lot better on the small screen. Remember Vantage Point? Exactly. And that was just last year. Plus, Matthew Fox has throughout his career made good TV better, between Party of Five and Lost, with the short-lived Haunted in between. He's a legit TV superstar now, so maybe there's no place else to go but films, but we worry he may fall victim to the Peter Principle. And it may not even be his fault - is he ever going to get such good material on the big screen as he's got right now on television? He's TV gold right about now - and, coming up on 43, with not a single memorable big-screen role behind him, he's more like tarnished silver as a film actor.

Still, a man can dream. And Matthew Fox's dream is to play Steve McQueen in a bio pic:

"Steve McQueen was pretty f-king cool. He was an action guy and a man of few words and he liked his roles like that."

Right. But if the McQueen movie gets made - as of January, it's supposedly on - and they cast a TV actor, wouldn't Damian Lewis of Life get the role ahead of Matthew Fox? Lewis looks just like McQueen:

PREVIOUSLY:

Today In Photoshoots: Matthew Fox - Is This Man Aging?

"American Idol" Faces Off With "Lost"

Matthew Fox - From Wet To Smokin'

"Battlestar Galactica" Breaks Hearts, Kicks Asses [SPOILERS]

Chenda Ngak — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 13:32:00 GMT

People always say that breakups are bittersweet. No television breakup is sadder than the one happening right now. Yes, we're talking about the Sci-Fi show Battlestar Galactica dumping us nerds for greener pastures. It's worse than the time that Ross and Rachel broke up. Yeah, it's like that. Part one of the series finale, "Daybreak" was a sweet song of expository flashbacks that leads us down a path toward bitterness.

The very first scene was a full circle moment with Bill Adama in a heated meeting with someone who was probably his boss on Caprica. The line that stuck out was when this gentleman said, "It's one hour of your life. Look, sometimes there are things that you just gotta do, alright?" We assume this is the fateful (and we don't use the word lightly) decision by the Colonial Admiralty to send Adama and the Valkyrie on a surveillance mission across the Armistice Line. This is the mission that broke the treaty with the Cylons, setting off the chain of events that is the foundation of the series.

We move on the key points in the lives of key characters. We see the beginning of Gaius Baltar's relationship with Caprica six. The happy couple, Kara Thrace and Zak Adama host big brother Lee Adama for dinner. It is the first time that Kara and Lee meet. We also see Laura Roslin all smiles with her sisters, only to lose them in a car accident that included her father and both sisters. Roslin goes crazy and jumps in a water fountain.

When we are snapped back into present day, we catch up with President Lee Adama giving orders on Galactica. We presume that they are in the middle of the process of dismantling Galactica. Kara Thrace a.k.a Starbuck is still obsessed with the musical notes that Hera wrote. John Cavil a.k.a. Number One wants to start immediate experiments on Hera. Bill Adama is moping around the hallways of Galactica. Gaius Baltar is asking Lee Adama to give his harem a seat on the council. Starbuck and Bill Adama have one of their quasi-father-daughter moments about her obsession with the musical notes and mystery of her death on Earth. Bill Adama tells her that she's his daughter and to never forget it. They decide to plug in Sam, who is now a hybrid, we guess. They have questions about Hera and the Colony.

Everything comes to a head when Bill Adama draws a line down Galactica's hangar and tells the crew to choose a side. We don't know what Sam said to Bill Adama and Starbuck, but through a series of gossipy conversations we learn that Bill Adama thinks it's worthwhile to send out a rescue mission to the Colony -- they think they've found the location.

The tense moment of climax shows Bill Adama making an announcement to a sea of Galactica crew and residents. With urgency and intensity he begins his speech...

"No one should feel obligated to join this mission in any way. This is a decision I have made for myself. If it turns out that there are not enough personnel to crew Galactica, I will lead a Raptor Assault with anyone who is willing to join me. Let there me no illusions this is likely to be a one way trip, so don't volunteer out of sentiment or emotion."

He asks the people of Galactica to make a choice by standing on either side of the line. In the end, about two-thirds of the people choose to remain with the fleet.

The final scene has the Adamas, the Tights, Starbuck, Tory Foster, and the Galen Tyrol planning their strategy for penetrating the Colony. They realize that there is only one safe jump spot on top of a "singularity" or a black hole. After a few words back and forth, Bill Adama ends the episode in style with just a few words.

"Alright. Let's get to work."

Next week's two-hour series finale looks like it is full of action. The preview promises to reveal all secrets. We know that the writers have no more room to yanky our wanky. This is the moment that has us tuning in every week and enduring the slow buildup that is also known as the past three weeks.

Although, we're excited to see this series explain all of our questions, we are also sad that such a quality show is coming to an end. What are we left with? Dollhouse a.k.a. an excuse to see a scantily clad Eliza Dushku? Seriously, Lost, alone, cannot satiate our appetite for mystery, drama, sexual tension, and action. We won't cry our eyes out until next week, so until then, get the frak out of here.

PREVIOUSLY:

"Battlestar Galactica" Could Influence The United Nations

"Battlestar Galactica": Everybody -- No, Really, EVERYBODY -- Hurts [SPOILERS]

"Battlestar Galactica" Is Driving Us To Drink [SPOILERS]

Somebody’s Gonna Die On “Lost,” For Real This Time

Olivia Purnell — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 16:33:00 GMT

Charlotte was the last to go. Now somebody else is on the chopping block.

Wondering whose days are numbered? We’ve got a few hints . . .

1. The dead man (or woman) walking is apparently a series regular and fan favorite. We’re talking about a major character here, no ambiguous redheads bleeding out, disposable peons getting shot accidentally or dying from a rare insect bite.

2. It’s not Kate. Evangeline Lilly adamantly denied departure rumors two weeks ago. We can’t believe that little Miss Lilly would lie to our faces. And if she did lie, she best believe we won’t be buying those philanthropic undies of hers . . . we’re just supposed to take her word that the proceeds go to charity? Fool us once. . .

3. The D.O.A. will not be brought back from the dead Locke-style. Thank god. That creeped us out.

So who do we think it is? We’ve got to agree with nypost.com. We think it might be Juliet.

Sad. We’ve grown to like J. But she does get in the way of the Sawyer-Kate-Jack love triangle that the Lost writers love so much. For the record: We hate that triangle. Sawyer obviously belongs with Juliet. They’re peanut butter and jelly, if peanut butter was a conniving ex con-man/grifter that found its match in a deadly baby doctor jelly.

In our opinion, they’re the perfect sandwich. But with Juliet out of the way the Lost crew can pursue the endless S-K-J triangle forever and ever. We will be doomed to throw our hands up every time Sawyer says “Freckles,” or Jack gets teary, or Kate looks confused and torn between two lovers. So, we’ll be throwing our hands up quite a bit. In fact, we may need to stretch and do some sort of upper body strength training before the next episode.

(nypost.com)
(eonline.com)

Previously:

"Lost": Sawyer To The Rescue

"Lost's" Evangeline Lilly Squashes Internet Rumors

“Lost” Sawyer To The Rescue

“Lost”: What's Her Name?

Can “Lost” Get Any More Complicated?

Olivia Purnell — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 18:00:00 GMT

More allusions? Really?

This week Lost viewers caught a glimpse of the island’s four-toed statue from behind. It wasn’t much just a quick glance of an enormous stone silhouette that looked vaguely sphinx-like. Latimes.com has a theory that this statue is the image of an Egyptian God. They ask:

Which Egyptian god is it? It could be Anubis, sure. But the ears look wrong. Maybe it's Thoth? He passed judgment on the dead, among his other duties. The possibilities are endless, and we won't know for sure until we see that face. Will it have an animal's face -- or the face of someone we know?

Like who? Who would we know? We don’t know the faces of any gods.

This show is already chock full of allusions. Biblical, philosophical, geographical, prenatal. There should be a community college class, Sociology 107: “Lost” and the World. We’d take that class. We don’t know anything about Egyptian history or Thoth. The show is teasing our intellectual insecurities, ratting them so they’re tangled and tall like Amy Winehouse’s big ass bouffant. Yuck.

We’re just not sure we can take any more elusive allusions. It’s like buying a new Power Ranger when you already have a trunk full of Transformers at home. Power Rangers are sparkly and fun, but we don’t need any more new toys, dammit.

(latimes.com)

Previously:

“Lost's” Evangeline Lilly Squashes Internet Rumors

"Lost:" Sawyer To The Rescue!

Olivia Purnell — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 18:30:00 GMT

Sawyer became quite the little hero this week didn’t he . . .

We can’t say we’re shocked. James has always had it in him, but the time-travel stuff has really made homeboy step up to the plate this season, no?

After John Locke pulls the island back into linear time, Sawyer and the gang get stuck in 1974. Sawyer declares himself leader of the motley crew and gets the kids prime jobs with the Dharma Initiative. In the Dharma ranks, James is known as La Fluer and the ex conman becomes the D-base’s head of security.

Here’s what we love bout this turn of events:

1. The irony of delinquent James becoming the good guy. Nice twist of fate, Lost writers.
Well played.

2. Sawyer and Juliet end up together (at least for this episode). We love the idea of badass deadeye Juliet with swaggering Sawyer. The Bonnie and Clydeness of it all is totally appealing.

3. We love island-centric episodes. This entire episode played out on the island. We hate the seeing the survivors in modern day Los Angeles. They all turn into whiny inept fuck-ups who can’t take care of themselves and insist on good cry. Nope, that’s not for us. Stay in the jungle with the polar bears, where you belong.

Here’s what we didn’t like:

The reemergence of Kate/Sawyer love. We do not like them together. Never have. What do you think?

Previously:

"Lost": Hangman

“Lost”: Walt Writes Himself Back Onto the Island

Olivia Purnell — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 21:14:00 GMT

Walt! Oops, we’re sorry, Malcolm David Kelley! Yo, you have grown, dude. What’re you, 27 now? You’re a grown ass man that they’re still trying to cast as a fourteen year-old. Your voice sounds like Barry White got a cold. Still rocking that little Walt-fro, though. Waita stick with a look. We like that about you.

But enough with the small talk. We were really psyched to see you in this week’s Lost episode with John Locke. Yeah, it was a short scene, but you gotta start somewhere, right? What’s that you say? You dream about returning to the island every night? You’ve written up some script ideas?

Well let’s hear em . . .

Malcolm tells eonline:

"I've actually been thinking about this so much! I've been wanting to write my own episode and send it to Damon [Lindelof] and them. Like, I'd pitch it myself. One episode, the opening is me sitting in a chair on the phone on the Island and just talking business and stuff. I don't know. I've just been reading so much into it”

Homeboy wants to see Walt really come into his “magic powers.”

So do we, Malcolm. So do we. You were such a creepy little kid. We’re positive you could bring the “magic” as an awkward post-adolescent. We know you can do it. Send that script over, post haste!

(yahoo.com)

Previously:

“Lost’s” Evangeline Lilly Squashes Internet Rumors

Today In Photoshoots: Matthew Fox -- Is This Man Aging?

“Lost”: What's Her Name?

"Lost's" Evangeline Lilly Squashes Internet Rumors

Olivia Purnell — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 18:20:00 GMT

Sticks and stones may break her bones, but . . .

Evangeline Lilly is not leaving Lost.

The internet was a flutter with rumorage that E.Lilly was auditioning for fall 2009 pilots, pilots that would take her away from Lost. Would she be killed off? Maybe Jack would finally loose his shit and kill Kate in her sleep with his bare hands while screaming "This island is death!". Would she disappear into the island’s mysterious time warp? Could she join the Polar Bears on the island Jane Goodall style, never to be seen or heard from again, until the docufootage of her cuddling with a Polar baby emerged? (that’s our personal fave).

Well, none of these scenarios are gonna happen. A TV guide source says, “None of this is true, not even remotely.”

While Evangeline will not be hibernating with Polar Bears any time soon, she is gonna let you get into her panties for charity. The Modern Materialist has got more on Ms. Lilly's lingerie line HERE.

(tvguide.com)

Previously: