The Remote Island : Justin Timberlake

"DWTS" Channels Justin Timberlake's "SNL" Sketch [VIDEO]

Lindy Parker — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 19:00:00 GMT

First of all, who knew the sphere of influence of Beyoncé's "Single Ladies" video would be so far reaching and vast? Second, every time we think we've gotten tired of people trying to recreate Beyoncé's choreography, we're pleasantly surprised to find that we haven't...

That said, it's still pretty difficult to compete with Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg on this one...

justin timberlake snl beyonce single ladies video

Previously:

Justin Timberlake's Mom Loves "D**k in a Box"

DWTS: Lawrence Taylor Fumbles The Waltz

DWTS: Steve-O Tossed Out on His Jackass

Can You Do That On ABC? Chuck Wicks and Julianne Hough Heat Up Dancing With the Stars

Justin Timberlake Kisses And Tells With Jimmy Kimmel [VIDEO]

Lindy Parker — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 17:37:00 GMT

Listen, no one ever said there was anything wrong with mounting one's girlfriend in front of 18,000 people and several dozen TV cameras. Really, it's fine. Just ask Pam and Tommy Lee. And anyway, Justin Timberlake, we totally get it -- all standards for appropriate public conduct are moot when Dustin Hoffman challenges you to a duel.

Also included: a memorable anecdote involving Lupe Fiasco eating JT's ass...

Our dearest hope is that this interview gives rise to some sort of weird competition between Justin Timberlake and Dustin Hoffman in which they constantly attempt to out do each other at various public events.

Previously:

Justin Timberlake Wants to Get You On "The Phone"
Justin Timberlake Added to Jimmy Fallon’s Debut
Justin Timberlake’s Mom Loves a “D**k In a Box”

"SNL": Zac Efron Drops The Ball For Pretty Boys Everywhere [VIDEO]

Lindy Parker — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 15:00:00 GMT

The thing is, even though Zac Efron's hosting gig on SNL was decidedly unfunny, part of us wants to give him a pass -- Can we really expect a person that pretty to bring the funny as well? Isn't it enough for them to rest on their pretty laurels and let us admire them? But, then we think, by golly, if Justin Timberlake has accomplished anything in this life, it's proving that pretty boys can do more than Paul Walker it when it comes to Saturday Night Live.

We're not saying every sketch has to be "Dick in a Box," but the fact remains that the bar has been raised, and Efron's got some work to do. His opening monologue, thanking tweens for his worldwide success, was delivered with much half-smiling, and two-fingered sweeping of his own bangs. The underage drinking sketch was bland and forgettable. The real low point was a high school science fair sketch in which his German accent sounded like a cross between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Gandalf. Even the predictable HSM spoof fell flat. By the time the Yeah Yeah Yeahs were introduced we were wishing Alec Baldwin had gone for number 15...

Opening Monologue -- why is he using a PSA voice?

HSM Spoof -- In fairness, the Ms. Darbus was rock solid...

Underage Drinking -- just why?...

Hideous German Accent -- in the interest of full disclosure, the phrase "nervous toot" did make us chuckle...

Previously:

Zac Efron Now Hates Musicals

Photo of the Day: Zac Efron, Down and Dirrty

Separated at Birth: Zac Efron and the Teenage Bruce Willis

Today in TMI: Zac Efron (and His Mom) Love a Condom

Justin Timberlake Wants You To Get On "The Phone"

Olivia Purnell — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 17:45:00 GMT

And far be it from us to question JT’s judgment . . . after all that is a picture of the former mouseketeer getting freaked by the queen bee (no, not Lil Kim), Madonna herself.

But his new show, MTV’s The Phone looks kinda wack . . .

Nymag.com says the show:

Revolves around contestants who receive a spooky call on an anonymous cell phone that just happens to be in their immediate vicinity. The contestants then receive a series of instructions from a poor man's Jigsaw instructing them to complete some sort of The Mole meets Punk'd–type of mission.

So, surprise, surprise, we’re a bit, how shall we say . . . less than impressed. If JT pitched us a show about a dance off, (you know, dance battling for dollars, street style) we’d be ready. We’ve been waiting for a reality TV adaptation of You Got Served (only the best movie, evah). We love America’s Best Dance Crew, but there’s always room for JT to improve on Randy Jackson’s model. And if he tried, we’d be down like Julie Brown. But no, instead we get to watch wide-eyed teens solve ambiguous Hardy Boys mysteries that involve exploding BMWs.

Wanna see? Here’s a clip. Don’t worry, it’s short.

What??? Even Executive Producer Justin seems embarrassed by that.

(nymag.com)

Previously:

Justin Timberlake Added to Jimmy Fallon’s Debut
Justin Timberlake’s Mom Loves a “D**k In a Box”
Andy Samberg Thinks Everyone Has A Dong

The Jimmy Fallon Era Begins Tonight

Jake Kalish — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 17:25:00 GMT

Well, technically at 12:35 Tuesday morning. But you know what we mean.Oh, and before Fallon, and on a different network, U2 begins their week-long stint on Letterman tonight.

Robert DeNiro, Justin Timberlake, and Van Morrison kick things off. And De Niro is a famously difficult interview. Will A.D. Miles and his fellow writers be able to make Fallon funny on Late Night? Will Fallon become a "Voice of America"? And perhaps most importantly, will Jimmy's hair be able to withstand his constant playing with it? All the questions start to be answered tonight...

PREVIOUSLY:

Our "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon" Archive

Justin Timberlake Added To Jimmy Fallon's Debut

Jake Kalish — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 20:33:00 GMT

JT will appear on Fallon's first Late Night broadcast March 2, joining Robert De Niro and Van Morrison. Apparently Late Night broadcasters got the memo that Robert De Niro and Van Morrison are old. The internets are abuzz with speculation that Timberlake will be used in a sketch; might we see the Barry Gibb Talk Show?

PREVIOUSLY:

Conan O'Brien Gives Jimmy Fallon A Giant Pickle

This is Jimmy Fallon's Head Writer

TV Soundtrack: Incredibad

Lindy Parker — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 22:59:00 GMT

Get ready y'all -- the musical trio from The Lonely Island and Saturday Night Live (that brought us such easy-listening classics as "Dick in a Box") released the tracklist today for their "much-anticipated album, Incredibad. (buzzfeed.com)

Here's a look at the cover...

...and, of course, a look back at the time J. Timberlake proved he would tie his junk with a bow to make us laugh...

Jackman? Why Not Justin?

Olivia Purnell — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 20:30:00 GMT

Earlier today, Scanner Bryan let us know that Hugh Jackman was tapped to host what he's hoping will be the Queerest Oscars ever.

We must admit, we're ambivelent about the news. It’s not that Hughie doesn’t have the requisite experience. Homeboy won a damn Emmy for hosting the Tony Awards in 2004. It’s not that he’s not charming, we guess. He is People’s Sexiest Man Alive. And we do love Wolverine.

It’s just that we were hoping for somebody else . . .

New York Magazine first suggested Justin Timberlake (jokingly, of course). Scanner B gave him a quick mention this afternoon. But the more we thought about it . . . Timberlake is the clear choice. He's got something for everybody. Justin can bring the glitz and the glam and the jazz hands that Scanner Bryan desperately needs. He also brings the sexy like nobody else (no offense Jackman, but the former Mouseketeer has got our number in that department).

And, and, JT has been all up in Andy Samberg’s face lately, appearing randomly in digital shorts about premie ejaculation, costarring in sketches as a Beyonce back-up dancer, even gracing Weekend Update with a song-laden spot. We just thought that maybe he and Andy could get together and take this year’s Oscars over the top. We’re talking: Leotard-wearing booty dancing, “Bring It On Down to Oscar-ville” song-breaks, and dick in the jizz box digital shorts.

Can Hugh Jackman pull that off?

Will Hugh Jackman Host The Queerest Oscars Ever? Please?

Bryan Christian — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 17:37:00 GMT

As much as we think our short-lived "Tina Fey For Oscar Host" campaign was a good idea, we do have to admit that the run of acerbic comedians hosting the Academy Awards has been a mixed bag. And, frankly, as we try and think of memorable Oscar moments in the last decade, all we're coming up with are snippets of those intro films Billy Crystal used to do. Maybe it's time for a host that looks like he or she actually wants to be there?

To which the clear response is: cue the gays and the Broadway types!

Enter Bill Condon, who's got a couple of Oscars noms and wins under his belt for excellent, thoughtful, flashy, and queer-friendly movies like Dreamgirls, Kinsey, Chicago, and Gods and Monsters -- and who we think has been out since he was making the Candyman movies with Clive Barker. Condon's been brought on as the executive producer of this year's ceremonies, and he's apparently deigned that no comics or TV actors are under consideration, and the latest word on the list of possible MC's indicates that triple threat Hugh Jackman (who's pulled similar duties on the Tonys) is in the lead for the gig, with Justin Timberlake (who we hear is quite popular with teh non-straights) not far behind. That's right: song and dance men! Tight pants! Jazz hands!

Which we think is great. Even Jackman is saying publicly that the ceremony needs some retooling, and it'd be nice to have someone who knows what they're doing on stage, who can smile and sing and dance, and who can lead us into the ceremony by the hand and romance us for 4 hours rather than constantly kvetching about the industry. The problem with all these wry, laconic hosts is that it's hard to make the musical numbers look good with them cracking wise on the sidelines. It's just a losing proposition. (Hey, is this what it's like when a girl dates hipster dudes for too long and is like, "Enough! Time to get back to basics!"? We think it must be.)

So queen it up, Mr. Condon! We want Anderson Cooper covering the ceremony backstage! We want a Mr. Blackwell In Memoriam dance number! We want Bruce Vilanch and Harvey Fierstein re-enacting scenes from Benjamin Button!

But most of all: we want Jerry Lewis to be totally surrounded.

‘NSync Reunion?

Olivia Purnell — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 21:00:00 GMT

Lance, has all that dancin’ gone to your head? Don’t get us wrong. We. Are. DOWN for an ‘NSync reunion. We want concert tickets, commemorative posters, three t-shirts, and the full set of movable action figurines. We are down.

But we’re just not sure that Justin Timberlake signed off of this . . .

Lance tells In Touch Weekly:

“It’s a definite possibility. We are like brothers — it’s perfect.” Lance says that following his Dancing With the Stars appearance, where he and partner Lacey Schwimmer finished third, “There are so many crazy doors opening. There is talk of putting an album together next year, but I would much rather do it with ’NSync. So we are going to be talking about that.”

Are you? Have you called JT up? Have you interrupted his lunch with Jessica Biel and Timbaland (in which they discuss fine wines and foreign policy)? Have you asked him if he’ll be down to bring curly back (Oh the fro!), or even cornrows? Have you asked if he’ll be willing to wear those shiny matching looks you guys rocked through the 90’s? Because if the answers to all those questions are yes, then we’re excited! If not, we’ll hold off on our bedazzled ‘NSync posters and tribute fan fiction in which we braid Justin’s curly locks before every show while discussing US diplomacy and sharing a lovely Syrah. Picture It.

Don’t break our hearts, Lance. Call JT, and then get back to us.

Imaginary TV Fights: Lance Bass vs. Joey Fatone

Bryan Christian — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 15:22:00 GMT

And so Lance Bass survived yet another week on Dancing With The Stars. Now that Brooke Burke's had that mysterious foot injury, we wonder whether he's gonna take it all the way... and how hard he's willing to push himself to get there. Will Cloris Leachman suddenly find her Geritol switched with Mexican speed? Will Susan Lucci find her coveted Emmy laced with LSD? Will we quit thinking about drugs today? More importantly, can anyone stop Lance Bass in his inevitable quest to rule first the Reality Dancing genre, then the world and the stars beyond?

Jake Kalish, author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights, cryptopopculturalist, racounteur, and occasional narcotics mule, thinks he's found the one man capable of defeating Mr. Bass. Someone perfectly in sync, if you will, with him in the arenas of boy band dancing and charismatic TV hosting duties. Today's question: Who would win... Lance Bass... or Joey Fatone?

JOEY FATONE	LANCE BASS
Appearance: Looks like he just exited a pizzeria, entered a boy band	Appearance: Looks like he just exited a boy, entered a boy band
Best Friend: Lance Bass	Best Friend: Joey Fatone
Trademark Fighting Move: Burying you under his pile of money	Trademark Fighting Move: Leaping out of the closet at you when you're not looking

THE FIGHT

Joey “Calzone” Fatone comes into the ring kicking against Lance “Open Mouthed” Bass, but finds his former bandmate using the same fighting technique, kicking in the exact same place at the exact same time. They each step back, punch, twirl, slide, karate chop, clutch at their heart, grab their crotch, and wave their arms above their head. It's as though they know each other's every move! Since it's like fighting the mirror, neither man can gain an upper hand, and after three-and-a-half hours, they are forced to clear out of the stadium... to make way for JT's sold-out concert. Bye bye bye!

WINNER: DRAW!

JAKE KALISH is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Blender, Men’s Fitness, and Playboy, among other publications. He could totally kick your ass.

Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights is published by Three Rivers Press

PREVIOUSLY:
Imaginary TV Fights: Stamos vs. Stamos
Imaginary TV Fights: Shatner vs. Shatner vs. Shatner
Imaginary TV Fights: "Dexter" vs. Everybody From "C.S.I."