The Remote Island : Gossip Girl

Who's Ready for the Gossip Girl Tour of New York City?

"Gossip Girl": Georgina on My Mind

Lindy Parker — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 15:30:00 GMT

We'll just put it out there right now: we're a little weirded out by how quickly the Gabriel situation has progressed. We went from Serena throwing him out of the Waldorf-Rose Seder and pretending Dan was her boyfriend, to one interrupted kiss on the street corner, and now suddenly, Serena's demanding that he spend time with her family, and coercing her mother into investing in his company. Apparently, next week they'll be picking out china patterns...

Speaking of confusing relationships that we can't quite get behind: Nate's teaching Blair to ride the subway in an attempt to prepare them for next year's "long distance relationship" between NYU and Columbia. Blair's claims her fear of mole people makes her reluctanct to brave this new territory, but we like to think it's just her way of sabotaging her relationship with Nate so she can run back to Chuck's waiting arms.

Back in Brooklyn, Rufus is celebrating Dan's graduation with an afternoon of antiquing. Dan catches him eyeing an antique engagement ring, which prompts a Humphrey heart-to-heart about Rufus's plans with Lily.

Now that spring has come to NYC, Nate and Chuck are playing basketball in the park, which is significantly more awkward than we would've thought. Isn't Nate supposed to be a jock? Nate's leasing an apartment in Murray Hill so he and Blair can move in together between their respective schools and never have to ride the subway. Chuck mocks Nate's choice of neighborhood, and Nate gets blustery about Chuck's shady dealings with Blair -- Nate's pretty high and might for a guy who, just seconds ago, was running around kissing everything that moves.

Meanwhile, at the Van Der Woodsen palace, Gabriel's meeting the parents. Lily's spouting platitudes about the importance of family. Rufus proposes a movie night. The whole thing's a little much for Gabriel who hightails it for the door. Serena whines about his commitment issues to Blair -- again, this from the girl who spent last week's entire episode trying to avoid him.

Thankfully, Blair seems wise to Gabriel's suspicious dealings, and enlists Chuck to weasel out his secret. Turns out Serena's not the only girl Gabriel's kissing on street corners. Blair tries to warn Serena about Gabriel's philandering with socialite Poppy Lipton, but Gabriel's ready with an excuse about using Poppy for her business contacts, which to be honest we don't feel that much better about. Also, Gabriel looks a little bit like Dan Quayle.

Back at the gallery, Rufus is having yet another border-line inappropriate guts-spilling sesh with Vanessa. Turns out his gallery isn't selling and he's going to have to hock his Lincoln Hawk songs to pay for Yale.

Chuck and Blair engineer a showdown between Serena, Poppy and Gabriel. Poppy threatens to pull her business contacts, Gabriel declares his love for Serena, and Poppy storms out muttering something about hell having no fury. Serena decides the best way to express her gratitude/cement her place in Gabriel's heart is to replace all of Poppy's business contacts with her own, namely her mom and Rufus (who's decided that his middle-class brooklyn existence is no longer adequate for a guy with Ivy League educations to finance). As soon as Rufus whips out his checkbook, we bury our head in our bedsheets. Weirdly, Gabriel seems hesitant to take Rufus's money -- perhaps his shady, embezzler's heart draws the line at swindling the working class.

Despite Nate's reservations about their growing camaraderie, Blair and Chuck are back on the warpath to convince Serena that Gabriel's a lying scoundrel. Turns out their best hope for success is tracking down Crazy Eyes Trachtenberg at the turnabout ranch to determine the exact happenings of the night Georgina drugged Serena in season one, so off they go, a couture-wearing Bonnie and Clyde on a mission. Fueled by info from Poppy, Gabriel claims to have met Serena during that fateful night at Butter, but it turns out Serena and Georgina never went to Butter that night because -- gasp! -- Butter was closed! Gabriel's a liar! And Georgina has joined some sort of Christian reform program -- all hell's breaking loose. Chuck rushes back to the limo to tell Blair, but Blair's taken the limo and left Chuck high and dry in the middle of nowhere.

Back in Manhattan, Gabriel's somewhat evasive pillow talk makes Serena suspicious enough to grudgingly admit that Chuck and Blair might be right about Gabriel. Chuck hails a cab and heads for the city with Georgina in tow. Look out Manhattan, Georgina's found Jesus, and she's ready to help rid the world of investment fraud.

Previously:

Take the "Gossip Girl" Tour of NYC in the New York Post

Who's Ready For the Official "Gossip Girl" Tour of NYC?

Lindy Parker — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 14:00:00 GMT

Get psyched, people. The Sex and The City tour is old news, bring on the official Gossip Girl tour of New York City, featuring "more than 40 locations that have been used in filming the hit TV show...."

Wait, really? Forty locations? That's crazy because we were thinking like Central Park, and the Met and call it a day. Okay, here's the plan: we're going to try and see how many we can come up with before we check the list of stops and see if we hit the forty mark -- Who knows? Maybe our GG knowledge is stronger than we think...

Well, we didn't get anywhere near forty -- more accurately we got to Bendels and Constance Billiard and got bored. Here's an excerpt from the list of destinations:

See the hotel that is home to the Bass and Van der Woodson families where so many of the scenes from Gossip Girl take place.
Be "spotted" by that most ubiquitous blogger at the Constance Billard School for Girls/St. Jude School for Boys.
See the Upper East Side mansion that was the site of the Bass/Van der Woodsen wedding.
See the lavish Fifth Avenue building that Blair Waldorf calls home.
Shop at Henri Bendel where Blair and Serena shop.
Go past the restaurant where Dan and Serena have their second date.

The thing is, we presume that many of the stops are trendy NYC restaurants and clubs, which are obviously closed during the day. Does that mean the tour is mostly just driving by closed buildings with dark windows while your guide says things like, "And on your right you'll see Butter, the restaurant that witnessed Jenny Humphrey's triumph over Blair Waldorf?" Because if so, that's the opposite of fun.

Previously:

TV Soundtrack: Blair Waldorf Gets a Record Deal

Chace Crawford Wants Kevin Bacon's Role in the Footloose Remake

"Gossip Girl": [SPOILER] Returns Tonight!

Lindy Parker — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 16:00:00 GMT

Hold on to your Gucci, people. Trouble returns to the Upper East Side during tonight's episode of Gossip Girl...

We can't say we're thrilled at the prospecct of spending any more time with Michelle "Crazy Eyes" Trachtenberg, and yet, we find the idea that Georgina Sparks has been brainwashed by a religious cult oddly intriguing...

Excellent plan, Blair. Got a problem you can't solve without getting your own hands dirty? Bring back a past villian (in this case the sadistic Georgina Sparks), turn her loose on your current enemy (here played by conniving socialite Poppy Lipton), and watch them destroy each other. We've seen it many times on Buffy. The problem is you usually end up having to destroy the previous enemy with a stake to the heart once they've done your bidding. If Georgina gets withing biting distance of Dan Humphrey we're taking her down.

Previously:

TV Soundtrack: Blair Waldorf Gets a Record Deal

Lindy Parker — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 21:00:00 GMT

You may remember when Leighton Meester gave us all a glimpse of her dancing prowess during her burlesque performance in the first season of Gossip Girl. Now it seems the 23 year-old actress is looking to round out her "triple threat" resume with a record deal...

Gossip Girl star Leighton Meester, who's been plotting to launch a music career for a while now, has signed with Universal Republic records. Her debut album will launch in the fall, the label announced today. (E! Online)

Take a listen to this cover of Kim Carnes's "Bette Davis Eyes" that Leighton released earlier this month...

So what do you think? Ready for the Grammys or stick to your day job? We actually don't hate her voice, but as we've said before, "Bette Davis Eyes" is our karaoke song, and we don't like to think anyone can rock it out like we can.

Previously:

Gossip Girl Leighton Meester Goes Downtown For Teen Vogue

Gossip Girl Leighton Meester Likes Her Boys Bad

Chace Crawford Wants Kevin Bacon's Role in the "Footloose" Remake

Lindy Parker — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 17:00:00 GMT

Now that Zac Efron hates musicals, Gossip Girl star Chace Crawford is apparently more than ready to take his place in the upcoming remake of Footloose. We like to think Chace has just been waiting in the proverbial wings, ready to seize his opportunity the second Zac Efron drops a project.

Actually, part of us wishes Efron were still interested -- we would be so on top of a pretty boy showdown...

A source reports that Crawford is intent on starring in the movie, but the television show that has made him a star, Gossip Girl, may be getting in his dancing way. "There's a big overlap of when he'd have to shoot Footloose and the next season of Gossip Girl," my source said.
And Gossip Girl producers haven't been able to rejigger Crawford's shooting schedule to accommodate Footloose. "Chace may be hiring a big-league attorney to come in and figure out how to make it work," the source said. (E! Online)

See what we mean? Don't mess with a pretty boy when an opportunity to dance shirtless in an abandoned warehouse is on the line. However, we're not 100% on board with Chace Crawford as Ren McCormack for the new millennium, largely because nothing in body of work on Gossip Girl seems to indicate that he has either the acting or dancing chops to get this done right. That said, if Drew Barrymore can stop talking out of the side of her mouth for Grey Gardens, then maybe anything's possible.

An Us Weekly Poll has fans split almost down the middle on the issue...

Thoughts?

Previously:

Zac Efron Now Hates Musicals

Top Five Muppet Remakes We'd Like To See

Gossip Girl Spoilers: Blair Picks a College? [VIDEO]

"Gossip Girl": Schmutz Happens

Lindy Parker — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 14:00:00 GMT

Good morning Upper East Siders -- good to have you back. This week's episode starts with Blair's Yale rejection tension manifesting itself in Audrey Hepburn-themed anxiety dreams, which at first we thought were going to be lame, but when Blair played Eliza Doolittle both pre and post makeover, we were totally on board.

Meanwhile, Serena's back from Spain and predictably Chuck already has a lead on whatever crazy shenanigans she got up to in the land of Cervantes...

In other news, Cyrus's "schmutz happens" apron is maybe the best thing we've ever seen in our lives. Really, he's well on his way to being our favorite character on the show. Even though he's hard at work preparing the passover Seder, he's never too busy to show concern for Blair's self-destructive existence. Despite her assertions that a socialite's life is her chosen path, Cyrus encourages her to keep her options open and at least meet with his contact at NYU -- a contact, incidentally, whose life he saved in 'Nam. Yes, 'Nam. Blair flounces off to find Nate, just as Serena crashes the party to enlist Cyrus's legal advice on the aforementioned Spanish shenanigans.

Nate got into Columbia, and is now seriously considering bailing on Yale. Nate's grandfather isn't about to have one of his own progeny sullied by the unsavory halls of Columbia -- the horror -- which leaves us to wonder what he would have done if Nate had gone with his initial impulse and chosen -- gasp! -- USC. In order to ensure that Nate stays on the straight and narrow, Grandpa Vanderbilt strikes a bargain with Blair to facilitate her Jackie-O climb to social greatness if she'll convince Nate to attend Yale.

Back in Brooklyn, Jenny's taken up with some cardigan-wearing youth named Wes, who despite an unfortunate haircut, holds the key to Dan's college tuition -- a gig with his mother's catering business.

Turns out Dan's first catering job is at the Waldorf-Rose Seder, although mercifully the dinner is Blair-free -- she's got bigger lamb bones to roast at the Vanderbilt wedding rehearsal dinner. However, no sooner has Dan agreed to the illustrious position of Seder cater waiter at an event that both his father and his ex-girl's mother will be attending, then Serena shows up and adds insult to injury by confessing that she married a random stranger in Spain.

Tragically, before Cyrus can light the Seder candles, who should show up at the door but Serena's betrothed Spaniard. Inexplicably, Serena decides that the best way to break the news of their impending annulment is to tell the Spaniard that she's still in love with Dan. The sight of Dan and Serena semi-feigning amor at the Seder table nearly drives Rufus to the drink.

Sidenote: this week in WTF, Chuck's sleeping with a ballerina. What happened to Vanessa?

Back at the rehearsal dinner, Nate's causing yet another scene at a Vanderbilt get together by taking his grandfather to task for all his underhanded ways (i.e. having Nate's shady father hauled off to prison and bribing Blair into selling Nate's college dreams for a bridesmaid dress). Good news: Nate's impassioned speech inspires an appearance by Blair's conscience. Bad news: Up until this moment, we'd forgotten that we're supposed to refer to Nate's father as "the Captain."

Pause for a word from our sponsor in which we high five our friend at the sight of the Fighting trailer. We feel like Channing Tatum is from the Mark Wahlberg school of acting -- a pretty boy who's still believable as a badass.

After a triumphant exit from the rehearsal dinner, Nate confronts Blair about the whole ruthless social climbing debacle, and we wonder why Josh Schwartz is bothering to drag us through this whole Blair/Nate charade when we all know Blair belongs with Chuck. Nate storms off to the Van Der Woodsen's to whine to Chuck about Blair, which has to be the weirdest bro talk ever featured on this show. Apparently, growing a conscience is going around, because Chuck gives a Nate a pep talk, sends him back to Blair, and then, since one good deed deserves another, Chuck finishes the night by apologizing to Jenny for the attempted rape of season one. God, we love Chuck Bass.

Good news all around: Dan sucked as a waiter, but Rufus is selling the gallery to pay for Yale. Our reaction: Woo hoo! Go back to being a rockstar!

Lily gives Serena one of her patented parental guidance sessions that always seem to end with her encouraging Serena to throw herself on some guy. Serena takes her at her word and before we know it, OMG, Serena's making out with the Spaniard on the street corner. How old is this guy? Luckily, Blair interrupts the kiss with the BFF trump card, but no sooner has the Spaniard scurried off home, then Nate shows up at Blair's door to kiss and make up.

Cue the ominous music as the episode winds to a close: The Spaniard is in cahoots with celebutante Poppy Liption and it doesn't bode well for Serena. We always knew that Louise Brooks haircut looked sinister.

Previously:

Gossip Girl Spoilers: Blair Picks a College? [VIDEO]

Words We Never Imagined Saying: Finally! A Pregnant "Gossip Girl"

Lindy Parker — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 16:30:00 GMT

In the time since writer/producer Jessica Queller learned she tested positive for the BRCA-1 gene mutation, which gave her an 87% chance of getting breast cancer before age 50 and a 44% chance of ovarian cancer in her lifetime, she quit her job at Gossip Girl, underwent a preventative double mastectomy, found a sperm donor and spent two years trying to get pregnant so she could have a baby before her ovaries were removed as well. Queller chronicled her story in a memoir, Pretty is What Changes, published last year.

Here's an excerpt of her interview with The Daily Beast...

I’m 14 weeks pregnant, by sperm donor 131, or something like that. It took me nine months to get pregnant, nine tries. For six months, I was choosing someone who was brilliant at science and math, the parts of the brain I don’t have, to try to compensate. It wasn’t working. Then I went for someone more like someone I would date: a liberal, artistic, tall, handsome, and kind. He was the winner. He’s an open donor—that means he’s open to being contacted when the child is 18. Ninety-five percent of donors are closed. I didn’t choose him for that reason, but I’m grateful for it. (Daily Beast)

Okay, so many things we find fascinating about this...

Number 1: We admit to being a bit underinformed about the protocol of selecting a sperm donor, but can they screen the sperm for "kindness?" Is that possible? We're picturing some sort of crazy Gattaca machine that runs the sperm through a filter and then flashes "80 percent kind" in turquoise lettering across a screen. More likely, the donor just submits personal references with his sperm, but that's not as exciting.

Number 2: Can you imagine if you were a sperm donor who okayed getting in touch with you? Who knows how many kids could come knocking on your door looking for closure about their own identities. Brave, brave man.

Number 3: We just googled the Gossip Girl episodes that Jessica Queller wrote and/or produced, and while it could be a coincidence, we suspect her departure is the reason Gossip Girl has fallen on hard times writing wise. Not to be selfish here -- obviously her health and future happiness is more important than our need for a decent plot arc, but really Jessica, is there not a way to write us some decent dialogue from home?

Previously:

OMG, Is Kristen Bell Really Gossip Girl?

OMG, Is Kristen Bell Really Gossip Girl?

"Gossip Girl" SPOILERS: Blair Picks a College? [VIDEO]

Lindy Parker — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 18:30:00 GMT

Is it us, or is the second season of Gossip Girl dragging on for-eh-ver? It feels like we've been waiting a hundred years for these last five episodes -- which, thank God, will air break-free until the season finale. However, while we're waiting -- there's spoilers to be had...

Here's a little clip from next week's episode...

First of all, we've totally missed Princess Bride Guy! Welcome back Cyrus Rose. Second, we're guessing that Blair's overt disdain for NYU will come full circle in an inevitable end-of-episode heart-to-heart with Cyrus in which she realizes NYU may not be the Ivy league, but it's the right place for her to find herself. Are we getting a glimpse into Gossip Girl's third season in which J. Schwartz solves the problematic post-high school plot dilema by having all the characters magically end up at a fictional New York college together even though they had high enough scores and connections to go to Harvard and Yale? Hey, it worked for Beverly Hills, 90210.

Previously:

90210: "Kids in Kansas Have Sex Too."

Does "90210" Star Jessica Stroup Want to Jump to "Gossip Girl"?

Lindy Parker — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 20:30:00 GMT

With the first season of the 90210 reboot coming to a close, are certain cast members getting the one season itch? It seems Jessica Stroup wouldn't mind movin' on up to the East Side...

While there has been a few whispers that some of the "90210" stars may "cross-over" into Melrose Place, starlet Jessica Stroup has high-hopes of moving into another of CW’s hit television shows.

"I want to be on 'Gossip Girl,' I said from the start that maybe my character could take a Spring break to New York or something," she told Tarts on Thursday. (Fox News)

Hmmmm. Maybe Silver's bipolar-rehab could take place in a swank NYC spa? We're okay with Silver taking a little East Coast vacay, but we need Silver to stick around Beverly Hills if the second season is going to have a prayer of being good.

Previously:

90210: Is That a Banana in Your Pocket?

90210: [SPOILER] Is Getting The Axe

Top Five Things We'd Like To See When 90210 Returns

Is Shannen Doherty the Most Successful Beverly Hills, 90210 Cast Member?

"Idiot Box", The Art Show For Couch Potatoes

Jake Kalish — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 21:55:00 GMT

The image above is an ink drawing called S.Urkel Jerk, by Alex Pardee. (An unfortunate title, but we won't hold that against Alex Pardee.) It's one of many artworks available at Idiot Box, a show at Gallery 1988: LA featuring 100 artists doing works inspired by their favorite TV series.

Yes, most of you don't live in Los Angeles. But that doesn't mean you can't check out the works online - there's a lot of fun stuff. Gossip Girl paintings. Who knew painters were into Gossip Girl? Freaks and Geeks, too, which is excellent. And a lot of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Also a wildly disproportionate number of Alf paintings, which for some reason makes sense as an artist's fave. Check them out...

PREVIOUSLY:

"Flight Of The Conchords" Poster Contest Winner Announced [UPDATED]

Who's The New "Simpsons" Poster Child?

Chuck Jones Quasi-Documentary Tonight At 8 On TCM [VIDEO]

"Gossip Girl": My Super Sweet Sixteen

Lindy Parker — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 14:00:00 GMT

Morning dawns on the Upper East Side -- Chuck's managed to wrestle Blair from Carter Baizen's lecherous clutches only to find that he's lost her to Nate. Sort of. At least, they haven't officially gotten back together, but they're taking morning walks in which Blair compares Vanessa to Jennifer Aniston. Bizarrely, Blair possesses an uncomfortable number of intimate details about Brad and Angelina's sex life.

Poppy Lipton's back in town, and she may or may not be played by the same actress as before (we find this character oddly forgettable). Poppy's unimpressed by Serena's low-res social vista, and Serena feels shamed by her petty high school existence. She enlists Lily's help to throw Jenny a bad-ass, super sweet sixteen as seen on MTV that will get Serena back in the game. However, this year Jenny's feeling a bit averse to the social scene that turned her into a lying, homeless shoplifter. She convinces Lily to cancel the soirée in favor of family night.

Vanessa's still on the outs with Nate, and Dan's weirdly judge-y about Vanessa bailing on Nate's family reunion, which we find hypocritical given that he was all for it at the time. Chuck cons Vanessa into spying on Nate and Blair's secret morning trysts. We don't have time to be freaked out by this because we're distracted by the fabulousness of V's winter coat, which once again is not in her character's budget. But, whatever. Why can't Chuck and Blair just get back to making out? We're already over this bizarre daliance with Nate.

Dan gets a fan letter about his New Yorker story which dominates his conversations for most of the episode. Rufus doesn't have time to be proud since he's spending most of his time trying to figure out how to pay for Yale. Evidently, Lincolnhawk royalties don't go very far in the Ivy League.

Back at school, the mean girls have jumped on the bandwagon, shaming Serena for her fall into social obscurity. Serena whines to Poppy who talks Serena into throwing the party even harder than before despite Jenny's objections.

We think we sort of missed something with Nate and Vanessa. What actually caused the break up again? She didn't want Nate to work in the mayor's office? Anyway, we're unclear about why Nate's spouting all this stuff about the break up not being about anyone else, and then turning around and having conversations with Blair about their "lovemaking."

Pause for a word from our sponsor in which we're weirdly excited about the Hannah Montana movie -- it's so dramatic when she pulls the Hannah wig off!

Serena's wearing a ridiculously fabulous dress that makes her boobs look awesome. We're jealous, a little. There's some sort of weird joke involving Lily's doorman reading Ann Coulter's book, but we're uninterested. Jenny's wearing false eyelashes to a party she thinks will feature chili and board games.

Jenny's less than thrilled to find all of New York society in the Van Der Woodsen living room, especially since no one seems to know it's her birthday. Jenny retaliates by sending a Gossip Girl blast to invite the great unwashed to the party.

Nate and Blair happen to be standing near each other. Vanessa reacts to this news by making out with Chuck. We're too weirded out for it to be hot -- not unlike our reaction to Beyoncé's infidelity movie. Nate calls Vanessa out on her bullshit and gives her an "against my will is against the law" speech. Blair pulls Nate away from Vanessa, and tries to seduce him in Chuck's bedroom. Nate rejects her. Blair's offended. The whole thing is weird.

The rabble are beating down the doors of the Van Der Woodsen Park Avenue apartment complex. That said, we're getting our first full legnth look at Jenny's outfit -- which is fierce.

Rufus and Lily break up the party and blame Serena for the fallout. Serena tattles on Jenny and flees the scene to fly to Spain with Poppy Lipton. Little J looks abashed which we can't understand given that Serena hijacked her birthday. Lily makes an oddly disdainful comment about crockpots. Jenny tells them all where to get off in a stirring it's-okay-to-be-poor speech.

Blair's nursing her wounds by feeding the ducks in the park. Turns out Nate asked Dorota to bring her so they could have their "first" kiss. What? First of all, they've kissed before -- a lot. Second, is Nate bipolar?

Back at the Van Der Woodsen apartment, Chuck and Vanessa are having a secret tryst of their own. Oh yeah, and Dan's fan letter is from Rufus and Lily's lovechild.

Previously:

OMG, Is Kristen Bell Really Gossip Girl?

OMG, Is Kristen Bell Really "Gossip Girl"?

Lindy Parker — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 21:00:00 GMT

What's this? Kristen Bell on the set of Gossip Girl? We didn't know they let her out of the little voiceover studio and onto the actual set...unless...could it be? Is Kristen Bell really making an appearance as Gossip Girl?

Certainly K. Bell could simply be popping by and saying hi to the co-stars she never gets to meet, but how amazing would a secret cameo be! Not that she needs to take part in any major storyline -- just linger in the background while witnessing a Chuck and Blair fight will do. (NY Post)

Okay, to be honest we think this is probably wishful thinking since in this photo K.Bell doesn't appear to be in make-up for a scene, so the likelihood of a cameo is low. That said, we're still pretty excited about tonight's "sweet sixteen" episode of GG...

Previously:

"Gossip Girl" Takes on Rolling Stone in Sweet, Sexy Photoshoot [VIDEO]

Lindy Parker — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 18:00:00 GMT

They may have made us wait six weeks for a new episode, but now that they're back, they're everywhere -- n our TV screens and our newstands...

Here's a little preview of the GG issue of Rolling Stone...

Final cover shot...

Previously:

"Gossip Girl": The Grandaddy of Social Hangovers

Lindy Parker — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 14:00:00 GMT

Before we get into the episode, a question: do you think if we wrote all our posts under the name "Blake Lively," people would start to believe these recaps actually were written by the blonde it girl? Apparently, anything's possible, given that Leighton Meester's cyber doppleganger seems to have even The Observer fooled. Anyway, on to the task at hand...

Nate's mind is consumed with his summer plans (travelling and romance with Vanessa), but his waspy cousin is giving him the hard sell about attending the family reunion. For reasons best known to themselves, Dan and Vanessa get on the band wagon and convince Nate to go and take them along for the ride.

Meanwhile, watching courtesan Elle disappear into the sunset seems to be all the encouragement Chuck needed to go running back to Blair. However, Lady B is getting her jollies elsewhere these days. We can't say we blame her there, but really, Carter Baizen? This guy is like Brandon Davis, but more bland and without the slightly cross-eyed expression. Chuck enlists Serena's help to save Blair from a fate worse than poverty. Serena blackmails Carter with some cryptic story about Greece and a police interrogation.

At the Vanderbilt family reunion, our hearts are warmed by the sight of Dan running around all rough and tumble with Nate. Vanessa's totally with us on this, until Nate's cousin's fiancé makes her wise to the family plans for Nate's politically future. You know how Vanessa hates a conformist.

Blair rings the doorbell on a strange townhouse and greets the unseen person at the door. Pause for a word from our sponsor in which we determine that no power on earth could entice us to see Adventureland.

Rufus and Lily are exchanging ex-lists over candlelight, and it is exactly like that scene from Sex and the City where Miranda forces Steve to tell her how many women he's been with and then finds herself surprised by the hugeness of his number ("Mirander, I'm a bartendah"), except in this scenario Rufus is Miranda, and Lily is Steve -- we wonder if they'll include the time when she did it with Trent Renznor in a closet in the new script for Lily.

Back at the loft, Vanessa confesses her fears about Nate getting sucked into the family agenda and becoming a Vanderbilt pod person. Nate assures her that nothing matters more to him than trekking acrossing Europe with her.

Chuck gets in Dorota's face in an attempt to intimidate Blair's whereabouts out of her. Dorota can be very scary when shrieking in her native tongue. Luckily, Serena knows that one always gets more flies with honey than with vinegar. Dorota spills the location, and Chuck and Serena troop off to save the day. Turns out Blair's sobbing in the hallway of the Dean of Sarah Lawrence in a valiant effort to finagle a spot in their freshman class. Unfortunately, "teacher-hazing" seems to be the unforgivable sin, and not even Chuck and Serena can pick up the pieces of Blair's shattered future. Sidenote: why is a pre-teen in a floor-legnth nightgown answering the door at the Dean's townhouse?

The next morning, Blair's parade of self-destruction includes a drunken appearance at a society brunch, and blabbing to Serena about Dan's roll in the costumes with the insipid Miss Carr. We're actually a little relieved that Blair seems pissed about the whole Elle debacle, and not just falling into Chuck's arms now that he's finally available for comment. Yeah, his dad died, his life was a shambles, blah, blah, blah -- have a slice of pie and leave the high-end prostitutes to their own devices.

Across town, while the Vanderbilts are embracing Vanessa as the future first lady, Vanessa's devising ways to keep Nate from their bourge-y clutches. Tragically, Grandpa Vanderbilt came to play. He's offering Nate an internship at the mayor's office, and Vanessa's pierogi tour of Eastern Europe suddenly seems trite.

Pause for a word from our sponsor in which we're weirdly stressed out by the home pregnancy test commercial during a show about high school girls.

Back at brunch, Chuck tries to lure Blair back to normal by hitting her with his best vulnerability speech. Blair's over it, and bails on the whole endeavor, only to somehow show up on the porch at the Vanderbilt family reunion. What? Nate gives her a pep talk that involves Audrey Hepburn and getting high, and sends her on her not-so-merry way. Back inside, Nate's grandfather is announcing the internship and, for some reason, speaking in the royal "we." Nate accepts the speech and Vanessa looks crestfallen.

Predictably, Serena is the next to crash the reunion to scream at Dan for the Miss Carr indiscretions. Thankfully, one good slap is all the fight she seems to have in her, and laughing, they trot off together in search of ice for Dan's bruised face.

Rufus and Lily are still fighting about the lists, and frankly, we're bored by the whole thing.

Vanessa limps back to the Humphrey loft to lick her wounds, and Chuck's back to moping and attempting to drown his sorrows in liquor until Serena arrives to stop the madness and send him back to Blair. Unfortunately, Dorota's minding the drawbridge and won't let Chuck across. Chuck agrees to go, but not before spying Nate's school blazer draped across the chair. Don't worry Chuck, we all know Nate and Blair chemistry is lukewarm at best, they won't be together for long.

Question: Um, where the hell is Eric?

Previously:

Tonight's "Gossip Girl" SPOILERS: The Grandfather

Lindy Parker — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 18:00:00 GMT

Our dearest hope is that last week's episode cleared away the chaos wrought by the last few GG episodes, and tonight's episode can finally get us back on the road to awesome. At least, that's what the spoilers say....

Before we get into those, let's refresh our memories about tonight's episode:

First of all, we couldn't be more psyched about the weird St. Elmo's Fire scene with Nate as Rob Lowe to Blair's Demi Moore:

Tonight's SPOILERS:

• Since last week's episode gave nary a mention of the Lily-Rufus romance, we were almost convinced Gossip Girl had forgotten about them. Never fear, Lily and Rufus are back this week making lists of their former exes to drive each other insane.

• Nate gets talked into attending his family reunion, but only after securing a promise that Vanessa and Dan will serve as his wingman (and wingwoman). This is good news for us since we're never really happy unless Dan and Nate are locked in a blissful bromance. Does this mean Nate can move back into the loft?

• Nate's grandfather offers Nate an internship at the Mayor's office out of the blue. We fear this is just a thinly-veiled attempt to drive a wedge between Nate and his poor, Brooklynite girlfriend.

• After getting bounced from Yale, Blair decides to embrace the life of a celebutante a la Paris Hilton. Apparently, this means cavorting around with the likes of Carter Baizen. Chuck vows to destroy him.

• Turns out Carter previously hooked up with (gasp!) Serena.

(via Gossip Girl Insider)

It's finally spring, and the Upper East Side is heating up. We'll be back tomorrow to report on whether or not tonight's episode left us cold.

Previously:

Gossip Girl SPOILERS: We've Got 'Em

Josh Schwartz Talks Up Rockville

Thoughts on the "Rockville, CA" Web Series

Lindy Parker — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 14:00:00 GMT

Okay, here's the deal on Rockville, CA -- Josh Schwartz's new series of punchy four-minute webisodes about an indie music venue in Southern California -- As noted by videogum, the webisodes have a couple of loading problems so, at times, it's like watching a series of still photographs with an audio track behind it. Not that fun. Also, at the moment the characters all seem to be doing watered down imitations of characters from the teen drama pantheon, which makes it feel like watching one of those Wayans Brothers spoof movies, except everyone takes themselves really seriously.

Here's our break down of the four episodes currently available online:

Solo Acts -- The plot/acting style is vaguely reminiscent of those student written plays we used to go see in college at the on campus coffee house. Also, do you think the remainder of Josh Schwartz's career is going to be a love letter to the awkward genius of Adam Brody? If it is we want to know up front.

The Douche -- For sure the worst of the four. Simply having all the characters repeat the word "douche" isn't actually clever enough joke to impress us.

Into Me -- Marginally better. The bit at the end when all the guys in the bar think the new cocktail waitress is into them made us think about chuckling, however, the fact that that's our strongest endorsement feels a bit problematic.

Shoegazed -- We lost our way a bit in this one (how is that possible in four minutes?). There was a thing about stripper shoes that pretty much drowned out any potentially interesting conversation about girls who sleep with guys in bands. Then, the stripper shoes girl started a bar fight. The end.

The best thing about this series is that we actually can see it being a good place to showcase bands, so given that presumably, showcasing bands is one of its goals, it's at least a success in that way.

Previously:

New Rockville, CA Trailer: Because Everyone Needs More Time With Hipsters

"Gossip Girl" Returns Tonight -- Will It Be Worth The Wait?

Lindy Parker — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 18:12:00 GMT

After a six week hiatus (that felt more like six months), we finally welcome Gossip Girl back to our semi-eager embrace. After reading the spoilers of tonight's episode, we're a wee bit skeptical about where our favorite Upper Eastsiders are heading, but we're willing to reserve judgement until after the show.

Here's a little sneak peak of tonight's episode...

Previously:

Gossip Girl SPOILERS: We've Got 'Em

Gossip Girl Spinoff: The Cast of Lily is...Cast.

CW Renews Six Shows

"Gossip Girl" SPOILERS -- We've Got 'Em

Lindy Parker — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 21:00:00 GMT

We know, we know. We've missed Gossip Girl too. Sort of. At least, we would if they could get back to the witty wickedness of the first season and ditch the wishy-washy vaguery of the second season so far. That said, we have high hopes for Monday's episode (title: The Age of Dissonance) if only because we've heard some spoilers.

We have it on good authority that Monday's GG fix will include: the return of first season nemesis [SPOILER], a new [SPOILER] for Serena, yet another [SPOILER], and a reference to Jeremy Piven's mercury poisoning...

The return of first season nemesis Carter Baizen

Who? Remember the guy who conned Nate into gambling away his inheritance, and then Chuck had to sacrifice his collectible baseball to get Nate out of trouble with the mob or whoever? That guy is back, and forming an unlikely partnership with Herr Bass.

A new love interest for Serena

Serena and Dan are allegedly done for good, so Serena's moving on to Julian, the director of their high school play. She enlists Vanessa as her ill-advised Cyrano to help matters along.

Yet another breakup

Dan ends things with Miss Carr out of loyalty to Blair, which just confirms what we've long held to be true: Blair and Dan would make amazing BFFs.

Everyone Loves To Hate Jeremy Piven

Chuck cites excessive stage fright to excuse himself from the school play. Nate thinks he should've gone with food poisoning. It's a chuckle-while-rolling-your-eyes kind of moment.

Previously:

Gossip Girl Spinoff: The Cast of Lily is...Cast.

CW Renews Six Shows

"Gossip Girl" Spinoff: The Cast of "Lily" is...Cast

Lindy Parker — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:00:00 GMT

It's almost as though our excitement about the upcoming Gossip Girl spinoff snuck up on us. When we first heard there was a spinoff in the work, our reaction was like, "Eh. Whatever." But, the more we're thinking about it, the more psyched we are on the whole idea. Especially since we've learned more about the cast....

Sources confirm that the CW is in advanced talks to bring Cynthia Watros (Lost) and Andrew McCarthy (Lipstick Jungle) onboard the Gossip Girl spinoff tentatively titled Lily. Cynthia and Andrew would play CeCe and Rick Rhodes, Lily's parents and Serena's grandparents. (Yahoo News)

Putting aside our complicated feelings about yet another Lipstick Jungle cast member taking a new gig despite NBC's refusal to close the lid on the LJ coffin (what are they waiting for?), we are thrilled with the choice of Andrew McCarthy as Lily's uppercrust society dad -- almost like his Less Than Zero character grew up and procreated.

Also, there's all this room for character crossover between this show and Gossip Girl -- they can introduce characters as teenagers on one show, and then watch them pop up as aging adults on the upper west side. Ideally, Josh Schwartz et al could create a spinoff that can add depth and nuance to the original show -- less Private Practice, more Angel -- it's genius. This thought combined with our previously expressed enthusiasm for Brittany Snow makes us damn near giddy with anticipation.

Previously:

Should Brittany Snow Play Lily on Gossip Girl Spinoff?

No Doubt Signs on For "Gossip Girl" Season Finale

Lindy Parker — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 23:00:00 GMT

Two weeks to go until Gossip Girl returns from hiatus, and all we have to say is whatever they're working on all this time had better be worth it. In the meantime, we've been getting our GG fix by trying to uncover details about the upcoming season 2 finale...

Turns out Gwen Stefani and her OC boys are getting their New York swagger on:

What do we know? That they'll perform 1981 classic "Stand and Deliver" by Adam and the Ants (a band who wore makeup nearly as well as Stefani does), and that it will be the show's finale, airing May 11. (Entertainment Weekly)

Question: Does this mean No Doubt is still together? Our dream situation would be if ND crashed the GG high school and set up shop on the steps of the Met for an impromptu concert just like they did on MTV's Jammed. Also, we wouldn't say no to a Blair Waldorf/Tony Kanal hookup.

Previously:

The Gossip Girl Spinoff Will Be Set In the 80's?

OMFG Gossip Girl Lives!

Should Brittany Snow Play "Lily" in "Gossip Girl" Spin-off?

Lindy Parker — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 20:20:00 GMT

Let's take a vote, Gossip Girl fans. Who think's Hairspray star, Brittany Snow, is a good choice to play the teenage Lily Van Der Woodsen in the upcoming Gossip Girl spinoff?

Here's our pro/con list to help you decide:

Pro: Inexplicably, we always find ourselves endeared to anyone who's been on a show with Joey Lawrence.

Con: Her John Tucker Must Die romance with Penn Badgley takes on a weirdly Oedipal quality:

Pro: Her freakishly long toes lend themselves to unusual sexploits of which we can easily believe Lily capable...

Con: We don't really picture the teenage Lily with a Minnie Mouse voice.

Pro: There's a possibility (albeit remote) that Vin Diesel will make a guest appearance...

Previously:

OMFG "Gossip Girl" Lives!

Olivia Purnell — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 21:00:00 GMT

We don’t know if you heard those nasty little rumors last Spring? . . .

About the death of the CW? Remember? Despite Gossip Girl buzz, ratings during sweeps were down about 22%. And after the writer’s strike, teen viewers apparently defected to the web and advertisers were quick to follow (We never abandoned Gossip Girl! But we also are not teens or advertisers).

Needless to say, the Cdubs was in very serious trouble. The Wall Street Journal said so. We were very very worried that the CW would succumb to teenaged attention deficit. We thought Gossip Girl might go the way of Girlfriends (remember Girlfriends?), especally since the Upper Eastside has been experiencing some minor plot problems as of late.

But today, Remote Lindy broke the news that the-little-channel-that-could has renewed six of its most popular programs: Supernatural, Smallville, One Tree Hill, 90210, America’s Net Top Model, and, of course, Gossip Girl. We have no idea how the Cdubbers did it, but we don't care. It’s a miracle.

Chill the champagne and put on your party dress. The CW and Gossip Girl will be around for at least one more season!

Oooh, wait . . . not that dress. We’re celebrating Gossip Girl not auditioning to replace Paula Abdul. Which could never happen. Paula is irreplaceable. Obviously.

Previously:

CW Renews Six Shows: Everybody Hates Chris Is Not One Of Them

OMG Topanga, Is That You?