The Remote Island : Dancing with the Stars

"DWTS": Melissa Rycroft Says No To Playboy

Lindy Parker — Fri, 15 May 2009 14:45:00 GMT

Can you imagine the kind of WW3-level fight that would ensue if Melissa Rycroft posed nude for Playboy, and then Molly Malaney found it stuffed under Jason Mesnick's mattress? Sadly, we'll never know...

Is Melissa posing for Playboy?

"Not true. My father would kill me! Not only would I never do it, my father would never look at me the same ever again!" (Us Weekly)

We're pretty sure that was a "Hell no!" to posing nude. Apparently, bikinis are as scandalous as Melissa likes to get in her photoshoots...

Previously:

Melissa Rycroft Nude In Playboy? Can She Ask Holly Madison For Tips?

"Bachelor" Reject Melissa Rycroft Has "Girl Next Door" Holly Madison Shaking In Her Boots [VIDEO]

"DWTS" Maxsim Chmerovskiy Trashes ABC's Decision To Cast Melissa Rycroft

Rejected Bachelorette Melissa Rycroft Will "Dance With The Stars"?

"DWTS": Curtains For the Bull Rider [VIDEO]

Lindy Parker — Wed, 13 May 2009 21:00:00 GMT

Here's how we think it happened...

Jewel: Honey, seriously. Dancing With the Stars will be awesome! We can spend more time together.
Ty: Gosh, I don't know Jewel. What if ah get all tied up in mah feet?
Jewel: Don't worry. You're an athlete.
Ty: Ah'm a bull rider, sweetpea. Ah don't know about them foxes trottin' around.
Jewel: Trust me, baby. I'll be there the whole time.

Next thing you know, Jewel hurts her knee, drops out and leaves Ty to cha-cha his way to the semi-finals. We have to say, we kind of admire his tenacity in getting this far in a competition we're guessing he didn't really want to do in the first place. We'd even go so far as to say, we've grown fond of the waltzing bull rider...

Fare thee well, Ty. Hopefully, the pain of loss is eased by the knowledge that you lost to a former Raiders cheerleader, and a U.S. gymnast.

Previously:

DWTS: Lil Kim Is Less Popular Than a Bull Rider?

DWTS: Which is Worse -- Visible Pasties or an Onscreen Erection?

DWTS: Was Chuck Wicks Hosed?

DWTS: Lawrence Taylor Fumbles The Waltz

DWTS Channels Justin Timberlake's SNL Sketch [VIDEO]

Julianne Hough Ditches "DWTS" For "Burlesque"? [VIDEO]

Lindy Parker — Thu, 07 May 2009 18:00:00 GMT

We've become strangely attached to Julianne Hough during this season of Dancing With the Stars -- mostly because we're half-jealous half-worshipful of her perfect blonde highlights (why does our hair never look like that?). Sadly, the lovely Miss Hough has announced that just as we've started actually watching the show, this season will be her last on DWTS. However, if rumors are to be believed, we'll still be seeing lots of her about town...

Perhaps leaving Dancing With the Stars after five seasons was exactly the right career choice for multi-hyphenate talent Julianne Hough. Sources tell EW.com that the professionally trained dancer and country singer is a very hot commodity in Hollywood these days. She's in the running to star opposite Christina Aguilera in the contemporary musical Burlesque for writer-director Steven Antin. (EW.com)

Rumor also has it, Julianne is squaring off against Hayden Panettiere to star opposite Chace Crawford in the Efron-less Footloose, so it seems like she has sights set on high-profile projects -- pretty ambitious for her first outing on the silver screen, but we love a girl with a go-big-or-go-attitude. And, on the plus side, at least with Burlesque she'll have La Aguilera for moral support, and after all, Xtina's no stranger to burlesque...

Previously:

DWTS: Was Chuck Wicks Hosed?

DWTS Channels Justin Timberlake's SNL Sketch [VIDEO]

Can You Do That On ABC? Chuck Wicks and Julianne Hough Heat Up Dancing With the Stars

"DWTS": Lil Kim is Less Popular Than a Bull Rider?

Lindy Parker — Wed, 06 May 2009 19:15:00 GMT

Perhaps it's the fact that even now, we're still completely unclear how people actually get voted off of Dancing With the Stars, but last night's elimination actually took us a bit by surprise...

The thing is, based on this easily deciphered chart...

Lil Kim and Derek have outscored Chelsie and Ty every week this season, which leaves only one possible conclusion: we seriously underestimated the popularity of bull riding. Regardless, Lil Kim's booty-dance was still badass...

Previously:

DWTS: Which is Worse -- Visible Pasties or an Onscreen Erection?

DWTS: Was Chuck Wicks Hosed?

DWTS: Lawrence Taylor Fumbles The Waltz

DWTS Channels Justin Timberlake's SNL Sketch [VIDEO]

Can You Do That On ABC? Chuck Wicks and Julianne Hough Heat Up Dancing With the Stars

Can Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne Tear It Up On the Dancefloor?

Olivia Purnell — Tue, 05 May 2009 20:30:00 GMT

Apparently we're about to find out . . .

The Osbournes are considering a stint on Strictly Come Dancing, aka Dancing With the Stars for Brits. Sharon says:

“I know we’d be a riot on the show and I mean that in a fun way. I’ve promised not to swear or be crude, too, but this could be the new challenge we are both looking for” (scandalist.thefablife.com)

We're not so worried about Sharon. In fact, we're pretty sure that homegirl's got a cha-cha in her back pocket along with a shiv and two Chinese throwing stars. You just know that Sharon will do anything it takes to win, Oz-style. And we like that in a competitor. Fellow dancers, watch your knee caps.

Ozzy, on the other hand . . . we have our doubts. We just don't know if the Prince of Darkness is rumba-ready. He can barely keep up with Denise Richards in a rendition of "Take Me Out To The Ball Game," and her seventh inning song-stylings were a 3, 4 at best. How's old Ozzy gonna school her in a dance-off? Not gonna happen.

(scandalist.thefablife.com)

Previously:

The Osbournes Reloaded: Please, Osbournes, Stop Shooting

The Osbournes Reload Tonight, We Wonder If Anyone Knows What The Hell This Show Is [VIDEO]

Oh, No, You Did Not Just Say That To Sharon Osbourne

"DWTS": Was Chuck Wicks Hosed? [VIDEO]

Lindy Parker — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 21:00:00 GMT

Lesson learned during last night's episode of Dancing With the Stars: The fans are suckers for an injury...

Adding to the mounting tally of injuries suffered during this season of DWTS, a bruised rib prevented Bachelor reject Melissa Rycroft from performing during Monday's show, and both the judges and the fans were forced to cast judgement based on a recording of her rehearsal performance. Not surprisingly, Melissa ended up in the bottom two along side Chuck and Julianne, which surprised us almost as much as the fact that we've developed a weird fascination with the latter against our better judgement. It seems the DWTS audience can't seem to bring itself to eliminating an injured contestant, thus proverbially kicking them while they're down...

It occurs to us that even though we've become strangely enamored with Chuck Wicks during this show, we have no idea what his music sounds like, and in fact, had never even heard of him prior to this point. In the wake of his DWTS departure, let's take a look shall we...

Turns out we like him better as an amateur dancer.

Previously:

DWTS Channels Justin Timberlake's SNL Sketch [VIDEO]

Can You Do That On ABC? Chuck Wicks and Julianne Hough Heat Up Dancing With the Stars

"DWTS" Channels Justin Timberlake's "SNL" Sketch [VIDEO]

Lindy Parker — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 19:00:00 GMT

First of all, who knew the sphere of influence of Beyoncé's "Single Ladies" video would be so far reaching and vast? Second, every time we think we've gotten tired of people trying to recreate Beyoncé's choreography, we're pleasantly surprised to find that we haven't...

That said, it's still pretty difficult to compete with Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg on this one...

justin timberlake snl beyonce single ladies video

Previously:

Justin Timberlake's Mom Loves "D**k in a Box"

DWTS: Lawrence Taylor Fumbles The Waltz

DWTS: Steve-O Tossed Out on His Jackass

Can You Do That On ABC? Chuck Wicks and Julianne Hough Heat Up Dancing With the Stars

Spring Cleaning: ABC Gets Their Fall Lineup in Order

Lindy Parker — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 16:00:00 GMT

ABC's cleaning house and getting themselves organized for the Fall '09 season. For the most part they seem to be going with a "better safe than sorry" strategy -- not a lot of surprises in the group. The question is, will any of this seasons fledgling shows (Castle, The Unusuals, Better Off Ted) make the cut?

Here's the breakdown of renewed shows thus far...

Dancing with the Stars -- Before we actually watched an episode (i.e. the first seven seasons), we never understood the appeal of this show. But, it has to be said, after watching half a dozen episodes this season, we kind of understand. However, please don't ask us to explain it, because we can't.

The Bachelor -- which we are never watching again.

Grey's Anatomy -- At this point Grey's Anatomy is sort of like that relative that you used to be close to when you were kids, and even though you now find you have nothing in common anymore, you still stay in touch.

Desperate Housewives -- Truthfully, we gave up on ever watching Desperate Housewives back in the first season when we tried to watch an episode and had to force ourselves to stay interested in the characters. No show should be that much work. ABC sort of agrees with us. DH creator Marc Cherry wanted a Lost-esque four season contract, but ABC stuck with a "let's just see how it goes" response.

Brothers & Sisters -- You'll never hear us complaining about more time with the Walkers.

Ugly Betty -- We feel like Ugly Betty is like ABC's high school girlfriend that they married right out of college and after a few years decided they wanted someone new and exciting like In The Motherhood, only to realize (after sleeping with someone else lost it's novelty), that Ugly Betty was what they wanted all along.

Private Practice -- Even though we don't exactly love Private Practice, we're happy to see it renewed, mostly because we can't bear the thought of another Taye Diggs show getting cancelled.

Lost -- Not exactly a renewal since the Islanders are still fulfulling their previous contract from 2007.

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition -- We've been a bit disenchanted with this show for a while -- ever since we started suspecting that the goal of the makeovers might be more about wowing the viewing audience with a gargantuan new house, rather than building one that's suited to the family in question.

Supernanny -- We try to stay away from shows that make us feel this stressed out about having kids.

Wife Swap -- Ditto.

America's Funniest Home Videos -- How in God's name is this show still on the air? Who watches it? If you're out there, raise your hand so we can see you.

As for the maybes...

Absent from the list: ABC's entire freshman class, including struggling midseason efforts such as "The Unusuals," "Better Off Ted," "Castle" and "In the Motherhood" as well as import "Scrubs."

Of the new shows, only "Castle" has shown enough spark for likely consideration. And ABC still has plenty of time to add more shows to this list between now and their upfront presentation to advertisers next month. (The Hollywood Reporter)

We're sort of depressed by this news since we thought Castle was largely disappointing, whereas we could actually see ourselves getting into The Unusuals. Hmmmm. Might be time to start another feverish letter-writing campaign to ABC network executives.

Previously:

Ugly Betty Webisodes To Keep Us Warm During The Cold Lonely Hiatus

ABC President Defends Grey's Anatomy Ghost Sex

ABC's New Sitcom "In The Motherhood" Sounds Like a Sexual Euphemism

Top Five TV Stars Whose Tans Make Us Uncomfortable [PHOTOS]

Lindy Parker — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 18:30:00 GMT

We're starting to feel a little bit bad that Kim Kardash is getting so much flack for this week's epic sunburn incident. After all, she's certainly not the only celebrity to over-indulge in the celestial rays...

Top Five TV Stars Whose Tans Make Us Uncomfortable

1. 90210's Annalynne McCord

Color us naive, but this looks like a red carpet situation. Was there not a makeup artist somewhere to be like, "Girl, please. Let's get some bronzer and even that out."

2. The entire cast of Dancing With The Stars

Given the prevalence of spray tans on DWTS, we assume (although we have no specific knowledge of this) that uber-tan is characteristic of ballroom dancing culture. Fair enough, we suppose. But, we still feel that there comes a point when you've got to reign in that oompa-loompa impulse, no?

3. What I Like About You's Amanda Bynes

Our favorite thing about this picture is that it's from Perez Hilton's 31st birthday bash. We've gotta believe it was all Perez could do to blow La Bynes an air kiss or three and walk quickly on his way in an attempt to keep from shouting, "Bitch, please. You look like Marmaduke."

4. Brooke Knows Best

It's hard for us to even comment on this one. We keep having to look away, as though from the lost ark.

5. Hell's Kitchen's Gordon Ramsay

Wouldn't it be amazing if you could get a tan from standing in front of the stove? Chefs everywhere would be walking around with perpetually orange faces, and Top Chef would be sponsored by Coppertone.

Previously:

Top Five Muppet Remakes We'd Like to See

Top Five Best/Worst Celebrity Fashion Lines

Top Five Weird Highlights From Iron Chef America Does Thanksgiving

Top Five Videos From The Beyonce Revolution

"DWTS": Lawrence Taylor Fumbles the Waltz [VIDEO]

Lindy Parker — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 17:00:00 GMT

Seriously, was anyone really surprised to see former New York Giants linebacker Lawrence Taylor get the axe from DWTS last night? Even LT looked relieved when his name was called. After all, on top being a poor to middling dancer, Journey's "Open Arms" might have really sealed the deal. Frankly, we're surprised he hung in there this long since he was arguably the least exciting contestant in the bunch, and it's hard to imagine any NFL star matching Emmitt Smith's season 3 win.

That said, we always be grateful for LT's stint on DWTS, if only because it provided us with the novelty of seeing his paso doble youtube video right next to this video of him breaking Joe Theismann's leg with a monster tackle.

On the plus side, at least he got to hang out with Carmen Electra...

Previously:

DWTS: Steve-O Tossed Out on His Jackass
Can You Do That On ABC? Chuck Wicks and Julianne Hough Heat Up Dancing With the Stars
DWTS: David Alan Grier To Carrie Ann Inaba:- "You Can Kiss My Ass" [VIDEO]
DWTS: Don't Paso My Doble

"DWTS": Which is Worse -- Visible Pasties or An Onscreen Erection? [VIDEO]

Lindy Parker — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 18:03:00 GMT

What's happening over there at Dancing With The Stars? First, host Tom Bergeron falls all over himself to sheild the public from Lil Kim's goodies on Monday's episode...

The funny thing is, Lil Kim isn't really a stranger to exposing her pasties...

...but apparently, such a thing would've been scandalous for ABC's 8pm timeslot. It would seem ABC has different standards than MTV. Strange how Tom Bergeron didn't even bat an eyelash about Mark Ballas' post performance bulge in his gym shorts a few weeks ago...

We totally get it -- you're dancing with a hot gymnast, the lights are bright, there's a lot of stimuli, and in fairness, we suppose Disney does love to slip in a subtle onscreen erection...

Previously:

DWTS: Steve-O Tossed Out on His Jackass [VIDEO]
Can You Do That On ABC? Chuck Wicks and Julianne Hough Heat Up Dancing With the Stars
DWTS: David Alan Grier To Carrie Ann Inaba:- "You Can Kiss My Ass" [VIDEO]
DWTS: Don't Paso My Doble

Jimmy Kimmel In HD Looks Exactly Like John Stamos [VIDEO]

Jake Kalish — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 20:30:00 GMT

And David Alan Grier is sorry about all that DWTS meanness.

From last night's Jimmy Kimmel Live. Very funny...

PREVIOUSLY:

The Inescapable Kookiness Of John Stamos

Imaginary TV Fights: Stamos vs. Stamos

"Dancing With The Stars": David Alan Grier To Carrie Ann Inaba - "You Can Kiss My Ass" [VIDEO]

"DWTS": Don't Paso My Doble [VIDEO]

Sarah Silverman And Jimmy Kimmel: It's Over, Again

"Teri Hatcher's Backyard Fights" Is Hysterical

"DWTS": Steve-O Tossed Out on His Jackass [VIDEO]

Lindy Parker — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 19:00:00 GMT

Truth be told, we're kind of sorry to see Steve-O go if only because the novelty of seeing him actually sober hadn't quite lost it's appeal yet.

Here's his final DWTS farewell...

Steve-O's inevitable exit from the show has us once again contemplating the point of this competition. Even having actually watched whole episodes this season, we're still unclear: are you supposed to vote for the best dancer or the person you like the most? If the point is to be the best dancer, why even ask people who clearly have no dancing talent? Steve-O tried hard, and we enjoyed watching him, but in the end, how could he possibly compete with the likes of Gilles Marini and Melissa Rycroft? We feel like for contestants like Steve-O or Steve Wozniak, it's really just about how long you can stick around before your obviously inferior dancing ability gets you the axe. True?

Previously:

Can You Do That On ABC? Chuck Wicks and Julianne Hough Heat Up Dancing With the Stars
DWTS: David Alan Grier To Carrie Ann Inaba:- "You Can Kiss My Ass" [VIDEO]
DWTS: Don't Paso My Doble
DWTS: Holly Madison and Woz Get Ousted By Viewer Votes
DWTS: Cheryl Burke Makes Her Partner Strip For Votes

More Stalker News: David Caruso's Stalker Is In Jail, Shawn Johnson's Stalker Has A Restraining Order

Jake Kalish — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 16:12:00 GMT

Is it so hard to just watch the shows without stalking the people on them? This is out of control:

A woman has reportedly been jailed for seven months in Austria after allegedly sending a death threat to "CSI: Miami" star David Caruso.

The woman, 41, sent the threat after the actor failed to give her an autograph, France's AFP news agency reports. The fan is said to have sent Caruso over a hundred letters including the death threat.

She will be held in a jail for prisoners with psychiatric issues, though AFP says the woman's lawyer is still considering an appeal.

In an attempt to avoid arrest, the woman initially fled to Mexico, but returned to Austria after 10 months and turned herself into authorities in March.

The Caruso news comes hot on the heels of the Tila Tequila stalker story, which is just as horrific. And that came only a couple of weeks after the Shawn Johnson stalker story. Oh yeah, about that:

“Dancing With the Stars” contestant Shawn Johnson has been granted a three-year restraining order against her alleged stalker, Robert O’Ryan.

A judge granted the request in a Los Angeles court on Tuesday...

O’Ryan stated that he “packed all his belongings, permanently left Florida to drive across the country because be believes [Shawn] is speaking to him personally through the television via ESP and that he will be with her no matter what.”

Additionally, the request noted that O’Ryan had “two loaded guns” – a .45 caliber handgun, a loaded shotgun “and materials classically used for kidnapping including duct tape, zip ties [and] a map to the victim,” the court filing read. “Also found were love letters, clippings and other information on the victim.”

Good Lord. Us regular folks often complain about the inaccessibility of celebrities, that they often hide behind bodyguards. Well, here's why.

PREVIOUSLY:

Modern Stalking: Man Breaks into Tila Tequila's House And Twitter Account

"DWTS" Gets Very Scary For Shawn Johnson

Alyssa Milano Granted A Restraining Order Against Creepy Stalker

Stalker Item #1: This Miley Cyrus Fan Sure Is Creepy

Stalker Item #2: Lorne Michaels' Stalker Is Free, But Not To Stalk Lorne Michaels

Can You Do That on ABC? Chuck Wicks and Julianne Hough Heat Up "DWTS" [VIDEO]

Lindy Parker — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 14:00:00 GMT

Y'all, seriously. We're still recovering from this performance -- for sure the hottest ballroom dancing number we've ever seen on network television. Honestly, we've never even heard of Chuck Wicks before now, but tonight we're finding him kind of hot, albeit in a vaguely Tim Daly sort of way. Also, we're strongly considering wearing lace thigh-highs to our next family reunion -- roughly the same demographic watching tonight's DWTS episode -- and see how it goes over. Get it, Julianne Hough. Go ahead, girl...

Previously:

DWTS: David Alan Grier To Carrie Ann Inaba:- "You Can Kiss My Ass" [VIDEO]
DWTS: Don't Paso My Doble
DWTS: Holly Madison and Woz Get Ousted By Viewer Votes
DWTS: Cheryl Burke Makes Her Partner Strip For Votes
DWTS Gets Very Scary For Shawn Johnson
DWTS: The Denise Richards/Holly Madison Showdown [VIDEO]

"Dancing With The Stars": David Alan Grier To Carrie Ann Inaba - "You Can Kiss My Ass" [VIDEO]

Jake Kalish — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 18:22:00 GMT

And that's the nicest thing he said. He suggested a number of other extremely colorful things Carrie Ann could do, and said his "proudest accomplishment" was not "slapping the shit out of every one of those judges." Check out this video. He goes off...

PREVIOUSLY:

"DWTS": Don't Paso My Doble

Jessica Simpson On "Dancing With The Stars"?

"DWTS" Gets Very Scary For Shawn Johnson

Melissa Rycroft Nude In Playboy? Can She Ask Holly Madison For Tips?

"DWTS": Don't Paso My Doble [VIDEO]

Lindy Parker — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 16:00:00 GMT

The only thing surprising about last night's results show was finding out that Lawrence Taylor has a bigger fan base than David Alan Grier. What? You mean you never watched Kenan and Kel?

Take a look...

Truly, when we first heard who was eliminated during last night's DWTS results show, we were like "yeah, whatever." But then we watched this video and we remembered that he can be funny...

Come to think of it, this video made us like everyone a little more.

Favorite Quote -- Derek Hough: "This just spells for success -- the constant incline, it's like the complete opposite of the recession."

Funniest Quote -- Steve-O: "It's tough when everyone's so good at dancing, and you suck like me."

Most Endearing Quote -- Ty Murray: "Just because this dance was thought up by someone watching a bullfight, doesn't mean a bullrider's gonna nail it."

Bitchiest Follow up to Most Endearing Quote -- Chelsie Hightower: "Completely opposite actually."

Um, okay Chels, unsupportive much?

Previously:

DWTS: Holly Madison and Woz Get Ousted By Viewer Votes

DWTS Injury Report: Holly Madison Suffering From Unknown Ailment

DWTS: The Denise Richards/Holly Madison Showdown [VIDEO]

DWTS Injury Report: Steve-O's Back in The Game; Wozniak Pulls a Hamstring [VIDEO]

Jessica Simpson On "Dancing With The Stars"?

Jake Kalish — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 13:35:00 GMT

Back to life, back to reality (tv).

Yeah we're all about Soul II Soul. We'll keep going, too - However do you want me, however do you need me..

Well, Jessica Simpson was most wanted and needed when she was on a reality show, and she may want to go back. Rumor has it Jessica Simpson is seriously considering going on DWTS. A "friend" tells MSNBC,

Jessica’s fame skyrocketed when she was on ‘Newlyweds,’ and no other project has been the same runaway hit. She wants to be involved with something she’s really good at, and people love Jess when she’s just being herself. She never would have considered ‘Dancing With the Stars’ before, but she’s not ruling it out now...When she saw Jewel was going to do it, it made her look at the show in a different light.

DWTS would be a bit of a comedown for a lady who was a superduperstar a couple of years ago, and is still so big (metaphorically) that magazine covers talk about how big she is (literally).But it's true that the more we see her as Jessica Simpson and the less we see her as Daisy Duke, the better. America does love Jessica when she's just being herself - except when her self is slightly heavier than normal, in which case we lose our goddamned minds and embarrass ourselves.

PREVIOUSLY:

Is Jessica Simpson's Weight A Thing?

Jessica Simpson's "Early Show" Debrief

Oh, Why Not? Jessica Simpson Goes Country

"DWTS": Holly Madison and Woz Ousted By Viewer Votes [VIDEO]

Lindy Parker — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 19:00:00 GMT

Truth be told, even now we're not a hundred percent sure how the scoring works for Dancing With The Stars, or why they eliminated two couples last night without a dance off, but regardless, it was a sad night for fans of Girl Next Door Holly Madison and Apple guru Steve Wozniak...

First, Holly...

Holly, the thing is, it wasn't good, right? We're not that surprised to see you get the axe, but on the plus side you look amazing in that fringe-y outfit. Also, Dmitry is HOT. You should think about hitting that. We're just saying.

Now, Woz...

Okay, the lack of actual dance steps might have been the real death nell here. We kind of preferred watching last week's number and Woz's hideous yet enthusiastic attempt at "the worm" to watching him sit on a chair doing his angry face for the first twenty seconds this week.

Luckily, last night's elimination show gave us something to help us forget our sorrow: Boys. II. Men.

Boys II Men, y'all! For a second, we swear were back practicing slow dances in our neighbor's basement. We're to see them out and about, even though it seems they haven't written a new song since 1997.

Previously:

DWTS Injury Report: Holly Madison Suffering From Unknown Ailment

DWTS: The Denise Richards/Holly Madison Showdown [VIDEO]

DWTS Injury Report: Steve-O's Back in The Game; Wozniak Pulls a Hamstring [VIDEO]

Melissa Rycroft Nude In Playboy? Can She Ask Holly Madison For Tips?

Jake Kalish — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 13:35:00 GMT

She's apparently been offered a boatload of money by Hef...

Hefner reportedly sent reality show babe numero uno Melissa Rycroft an offer of 500 grand, with a hand-written note, and an invitation to come to the mansion to discuss. But Rycroft's DWTS contract forbids posing nude for at least three months until after this season ends. We suspect Hefner can wait - and if Rycroft doesn't agree, he can pretend she did, put her head on Holly Madison's nude body, and call it a Dancing With The Stars photo composite in extremely tiny print. What? The New York Post does stuff like that all the time.

PREVIOUSLY:

"Bachelor" Reject Melissa Rycroft Has "Girl Next Door" Holly Madison Shaking In Her Boots [VIDEO]

"DWTS" Maxsim Chmerovskiy Trashes ABC's Decision To Cast Melissa Rycroft

Rejected Bachelorette Melissa Rycroft Will "Dance With The Stars"?

"The Bachelor" Claims Contract Forced Him To Dump Melissa On Television

"DWTS" Injury Report: Holly Madison Suffering From Unknown Ailment

Lindy Parker — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 17:00:00 GMT

Question: Do you think this season of Dancing With the Stars really has more injury than other seasons, or is it just that these contestants are insufferably candyass? Obviously, we can appreciate that dancing on a broken foot is probably a huge drag, and we don't deny that Jewel and Nancy O'Dell probably would've gone on with the show if they could've, but we're starting to get skeptical with Holly Madison complaining of an undefined injury...

"While she is not suffering from a broken rib, she does continue to feel a great deal of discomfort and was prescribed pain medication," Madison's rep tells Usmagazine.com exclusively. "She is committed to the show and her partner, Dmitry and will rest when she can. She fully hopes and, at this time, expects to dance on Monday." (Us Magazine)

Not to be overly-critical or anything, but is it possible that this report is just a shameless attempt to garner the same viewer sympathy that may have been responsible for keeping the previously-injured Steves in the competetion this week? We're just saying, we wouldn't put it past Holly.

Previously:

DWTS: The Denise Richards/Holly Madison Showdown [VIDEO]

DWTS Injury Report: Steve-O's Back in The Game; Wozniak Pulls a Hamstring [VIDEO]

DWTS: Holly Isn't The Best Dancer, But She's Got Hot Girlfriends [VIDEO]

Mario Lopez Doesn't Want To Be Called The "Mexican Ryan Seacrest"

Jake Kalish — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 15:22:00 GMT

We didn't know anyone called Mario Lopez the Mexican Ryan Seacrest. But we like it.

Mario Lopez, however, does not, a point he makes abundantly clear in an interview with Latina Magazine. Plus, he's kind of snotty and ungrateful about Dancing With The Stars...

...when I told Mario that Taboo of the Black Eyed Peas called him the "Mexican Ryan Seacrest"—out of admiration and respect, of course—he wasn’t feeling the comparison: “Well, Taboo is a very talented, great guy, so thanks for the compliment. But I’m looking to be the first Mario Lopez. I don’t follow in anybody’s footsteps.”

No, of course not. You're a true original and a born leader, Mario Lopez. So if you can't tell, we were already a little annoyed with this interview before we got to the interview part. And then this:

Have you had the chance to size up the contestants on this season of Dancing with the Stars?

Not so much. I didn’t watch the show before I was on it, or after I was on it, or even while I was on it. But I was honored to do it. After the first 100 episodes, they said I was the #1 performer of all-time and that is kind of cool, that a Latino was #1.

Yeah, you're great, man. You're number one. And it's not like that show did anything for your career. Love how he tried to make this an issue of Latino pride, too. Lopez is the host of Extra!, so he absolutely knows exactly what's happening this season on DWTS. Aaaarrrrrgh. We'd want to fight Mario Lopez, but look at those abs.

PREVIOUSLY:

Zach Morris Kills Our Dreams Of A "Saved By The Bell" Reunion

Just When You Almost Forgot About A.C. Slater

Slater Gets A Shirt...Sort Of

Today In Junk: Mario Lopez And His Package Lead The People "Hottest Bachelors" List

Mario Lopez's Hot Abs Will Take Over The World, One Non-Scripted Television Program At A Time

We Love You Too, Cloris Leachman

Jake Kalish — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 21:40:00 GMT

82-year-old living legend Cloris Leachman is a force of nature. You might know her for her amazing age-defying moves on last season's Dancing With The Stars. You might not know she has more Primetime Emmys (eight) than any other female actress ever. And you almost certainly didn't know she used to be an unstoppable tornado of passion...

In her new memoir, Cloris,

Leachman reveals all the hookups and steamy flirtations she had back in the day. (We were going to say "her heyday", but her heyday's still going.) Like this tryst with Gene Hackman:

"As we moved into the main course, it was as if a cosmic wind enveloped us. Some giant space magnet was pulling us together," Leachman writes. "We didn't finish the meal. We went upstairs, flew into bed and made love. It was epic. And the next morning, Gene went back to his film and I went back to mine. I haven't seen Gene since that night, but I remember well the feisty lad he was."

Yeah, Lex Luthor! Get freaky, Popeye Doyle! Work it, Little Bill Daggett! And you go, Frau Blucher!

PREVIOUSLY:

"Dancing With The Stars": You Go, Frau Blucher [Cue Horse Whinny!]

So, Jessica Alba And Jack Black On The Super Bowl "Office": Not Enough Or Just Right?

"Dancing With The Stars" Update

"Girl Next Door" Holly Isn't The Best "DWTS" Dancer, But She Has Hot Girlfriends [VIDEO]

"DWTS" Gets Very Scary For Shawn Johnson

Jake Kalish — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 17:00:00 GMT

A man named Robert O'Ryan was arrested trying to break onto the Dancing With The Stars set to meet Shawn Johnson. That would have been scary enough for the 17-year-old Olympic gold medalist, but then she heard what cops found in Robert O'Ryan's car: a loaded shotgun and handgun, as well as duct tape and love letters to Johnson.

O'Ryan was arrested by security after he jumped on a fence outside the lot where "DWTS" is staged. Shawn's mother, Teri, said in a sworn statement she was told by police that Robert O'Ryan believed he was meant to have a child with ShawnJohnson. Restraining orders against O'Ryan have been filed, which state that Shawn "is in fear for her life."

PREVIOUSLY:

"DWTS": The Denise Richards/Holly Madison Showdown [VIDEO]

"DWTS" Injury Report: Steve-O's Back In The Game, Wozniak Pulls A Hamstring [VIDEO]

"Bachelor" Reject Melissa Rycroft Has "Girl Next Door" Holly Madison Shaking In Her Boots [VIDEO]

"DWTS" Maksim Chernovskiy Trashes ABC's Decision To Cast Melissa Rycroft

"Girl Next Door" Holly Isn't The Best "DWTS" Dancer, But She Has Hot Girlfriends [VIDEO]

"DWTS": The Denise Richards/Holly Madison Showdown [VIDEO]

Lindy Parker — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 19:30:00 GMT

First of all, we're weirded out by Maksim C's chest in this picture. We just want to go on record as saying we find him a tad gross. Needless to say, we weren't sorry to see MC Skeevy and partner, Denise Richards in the bottom two this week facing off against Holly Madison and Dmitry Chaplin -- incredibly injured cast members Steve-O and Steve Wozniak survived to dance another day.

So, who was worse: Holly or Denise? Let's go to the video...

First, Denise and Maksim (note: Maksim's aforementioned creep factor at the beginning of this clip)...

Now, Holly and Dmitry (note: Holly's knee high tube socks are rocking our world)...

Yeah, we got to go with Holls on this one. The judges are with us too. We feel like it's Denise's ill-advised tutu coupled with the Barry Manilow-esque version of Filter's Take My Picture that really sealed the deal. Also, that's what Maksim Chmerkovskiy gets for being a bitter Betty about Melissa Rycroft.

Is it weird that we kind of want Steve Wozniak to win the whole thing? Granted, we're new to the whole DWTS phenomenon -- is the point to be the best dancer or is the point to be the most likable? Because if the point is to be the best dancer then the whole thing is doomed from the start. How can you expect someone like, say, Steve Guttenberg to compete with the likes of Kristi Yamaguchi (and please don't try and tell us that figure skating isn't similar to ballroom dancing because you're a liar)?

Previously:

DWTS Injury Report: Steve-O's Back in The Game; Wozniak Pulls a Hamstring [VIDEO]

DWTS Maksim Chmerkovskiy Trashes ABC's Decision To Cast Melissa Rycroft

DWTS: Holly Isn't The Best Dancer, But She's Got Hot Girlfriends [VIDEO]

DWTS: Here Comes Season Eight

"DWTS" Injury Report: Steve-O's Back in the Game; Wozniak Pulls a Hamstring [VIDEO]

Lindy Parker — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 21:30:00 GMT

Sure, Steve-O's recovered from last week's mic pack incident, but now Steve Wozniak is sporting both a fractured foot and a pulled hamstring. Maybe the Steves have a pact to take turns sitting weeks out...

It's still unclear as to whether Woz will be able to perform tonight, but it seems DWTS producers have a backup plan just in case...

If Woz's injuries take him out of the competition entirely, are we going to see a replacement for him? "No," says Tom. "The only thing it will impact is if there is one week we were going to have a double elimination and we wouldn't do that. But we'd still eliminate someone. So if [he] can't dance this week, we're still going to knock somebody else out anyway because that's the way we roll." (E! Online)

but we're keeping our fingers crossed. Speaking of which, are we the only ones finding Woz's stint on DWTS inexplicably endearing? Truly, we almost felt outraged when Bruno called him a teletubbie after the first week's performances and we watched his face fall. Chin up, Steve Wozniak! You've got a friend in us.

Previously:

DWTS Injury Report: Steve-O Takes His 758th Trip To The Hospital

DWTS: Here Comes Season Eight

Rejected Bachelorette Melissa Rycroft Will Dance With The Stars?

"Bachelor" Reject Melissa Rycroft Has "Girl Next Door" Holly Madison Shaking in Her Boots [VIDEO]

Lindy Parker — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 18:30:00 GMT

Apparently, DWTS regular Maksim Chmerkovskiy isn't the only one feeling intimidated by Melissa Rycroft's dancing chops. It seems our favorite Girl Next Door is also unsettled by Melissa's, er, assets...

"I think the biggest competition is Melissa from The Bachelor," she told Us Magazine.com Saturday at a bash at Prive Las Vegas. "She is an amazing dancer and everybody loves her, including me."

Hmmm, maybe Holly's strategy is to keep her friends close, and her enemies closer, and we can't say we blame her -- Melissa kind of a force of nature on this show, no?

Hard to compete with that kind of lovefest. We like the way Melissa's interview clips attempt to minimize her dance experience, and emphasize the difficulty of the ballroom steps as compared to say, Dalls Cowboys cheer routines. Holly agrees...

"I'm not a dancer at all," she went on. "Every week it's a completely different style. Today I was such a brat at the dance studio. I was kicking the walls! I mean, it's six hours a day straight!...It's the hardest physical work I've ever done in my life!" (Us Magazine)

Is it really though? Come on, Holly, we bet Hef can go longer than six hours.

Previously:

DWTS Maksim Chmerkovskiy Trashes ABC's Decision to Cast Melissa Rycroft

DWTS: Holly Isn't The Best Dancer, But She's Got Hot Girlfriends [VIDEO]

Rejected Bachelorette Melissa Rycroft Will Dance With The Stars?

DWTS: Here Comes Season Eight!

"DWTS" Injury Report: Steve-O Takes his 758th Trip To the Hospital

Lindy Parker — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:35:00 GMT

And the hits just keep on coming. DWTS resident Jackass, Steve-O is the latest to fall prey to the flood of injuries plaguing this season's cast...

During dress rehearsal two hours before the show aired, he landed on his mic pack, host Tom Bergeron announced on the show. He went to the hospital as a precaution and "hopes to be back next week," Bergeron added. (Us Weekly)

We'd bet good money that Steve-O "fell on his mic pack" after betting Steve Wozniak that he could scale the light rig and touch the ceiling in his underwear for fifty bucks and a bag of Cheetos. We're also just as sure that Steve-O's on a first nickname bases with the good folks at the hospital (actually, the nurses probably call him "Steven" and stroke his cheek). No doubt they'll have him right as rain by next week.

On another note, in preparation for this post, we watched this clip of Steve-O and partner Lacey Schwimmer on DWTS...

Granted, we may have come a little late to the party on this, but are we the only ones whose minds are blown by how much he didn't totally suck? Yes, his technique wasn't what anyone would call stellar, but he knew all the moves! This is a guy that we've seen drink his own vomit. We truly didn't think he had it in him, and we're kind of pulling for him now. It might be time to finally put aside our preconceived notions and actually watch an episode of DWTS. Next week is our week.

Previously:

DWTS Maksim Chmerkovskiy Trashes ABC's Decision To Cast Melissa Rycroft

Rejected Bachelorette Melissa Rycroft Will Dance With The Stars?

DWTS: Here Comes Season Eight!

DWTS Regula Maksim Chmerkovskiy Shows Us How a Proposal is Done [VIDEO]

DWTS: Holly Isn't The Best Dancer, But She's Got Hot Girlfriends [VIDEO]

"DWTS" Maksim Chmerkovskiy Trashes ABC's Decision To Cast Melissa Rycroft

Lindy Parker — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 22:00:00 GMT

It seems Dancing With the Stars regular, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, is the only one in America hating on reject Bachelorette, Melissa Rycroft...

TVGuide.com: What do you think of Holly Madison and Melissa Rycroft?

Maksim: Do I have to answer that? [Laughs] It's very hard for me because Tony [Dovolani] is my best friend, but if we're gonna call it what it is, it's very unfair because Melissa's a dancer — she was a cheerleader and did ballet. That's what I would love to end. (TV Guide)

We're a bit creeped out by his ominous tone: "That's what I would love to end." An E! True Hollywood Story is developing before our very eyes in which Maksim cuts the rope on a sandbag backstage to take Melissa out of the competition. Regardless, we don't really buy his argument anyway. Melissa's certainly not the first DWTS contestant with dancing experience -- we don't remember Maksim complaining about Drew Lachey's stacked deck.

Maksim, let's call a spade a spade. What you really mean is that America's pity will carry poor, jilted Melissa Rycroft all the way to the trophy. Wait, is there a trophy? We're guessing we wouldn't hear Chmerkovskiy complaining if Mel were his partner. But alas, he's stuck with Denise "Tanfastic" Richards:

Previously:

Rejected Bachelorette Melissa Rycroft Will Dance With The Stars?

DWTS: Here Comes Season Eight!

DWTS Regula Maksim Chmerkovskiy Shows Us How a Proposal is Done [VIDEO]

DWTS: Holly Isn't The Best Dancer, But She's Got Hot Girlfriends [VIDEO]

"Girl Next Door" Holly Isn't The Best "DWTS" Dancer, But She Has Hot Girlfriends [VIDEO]

Olivia Purnell — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 20:30:00 GMT

Disclaimer: For a midseason replacement, Holly did just fine. She’d only had 6 days of rehearsal time prior to her debut cha-cha. And we tend to find these early Dancing With the Stars Performances super duper 7th grade cotillion awkward, anyway. Also, that outfit looked great on her. Not 7th grade cotillion at all. She did fine.

Now, you take a look:

She’s a little awkward. And we think it’s her overall stiffness that held her back with the judges. She scored an 18 out of 30.

But, it’s her facial expression that truly did us in. It’s halfway between an onset of severe diarrhea and 'I think this new boy in school might really like me.’ Let us digress a moment to share a quick Life Lesson: do not ask him to the Sadie Hawkins if you’re going to poop your pants. Similarly do not go on the DWTS stage without dropping off the kids at the pool.

But we think Holly can make a comeback. If nothing else, she promises eonline.com that she’ll come back to the DWTS sound stage with a gang of ladies in tow. Holly says: “I’m inviting all my girlfriends to the shows . . . There will be a lot more hot girls in the audience this season!”

Is that bunny trash-talk? Is she trying to say former contestants’ friends are beat? Oh no she didn’t! Doesn’t she know that Cloris Leachman doesn’t play? She better watch her mouth; CL and her bridge club will beat that ass.

(eonline.com)

Previously:

"Dancing With The Stars": Jewel's Out, "Girl Next Door" Holly Madison Is In

"Girl Next Door" Holly Is Psyched To Be Single

Holly Madison is Done With "Mindfreak" Criss Angel

Holly's Had It With Playboy