The Remote Island : Craig Ferguson

Craig Ferguson Beats Jimmy Fallon

Jake Kalish — Fri, 15 May 2009 18:22:00 GMT

In the ratings. For the very first time.

It was only by an eyelash, but the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson topped Late Night with Jimmy Fallon in total viewers for the first time.

Ferguson's show also tied Fallon's in adults 25 to54 years-of-age for the first time, according to Nielsen live plus same day ratings for the week ending May 8.

The Late Late Show drew 1.87 million viewers to CBS, up 7% in viewers (from 1.74 million) compared to the same week last year.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon drew 1.867 million viewers.

Oh, this late late night battle, she's on now. Lick that for $10, Jimmy Fallon...

PREVIOUSLY:

Craig "Bam Bam" Ferguson Smashes Camera [VIDEO]

Craig Ferguson Is Classy

We've Lost All Faith In Jimmy Fallon [VIDEO]

Jimmy Fallon, The Internet "Person of The Year"?

Craig "Bam Bam" Ferguson Smashes Camera [VIDEO]

Jake Kalish — Mon, 11 May 2009 20:35:00 GMT

In opening his show Friday night, Late Late show host Craig Ferguson accidentally smashed a TV camera. Now that's some hard-hitting comedy! Waka-waka-waka...

PREVIOUSLY:

Craig Ferguson Gets A Comedy Central Stand-up Special

Craig Ferguson Is Classy

If Russell Brand And Craig Ferguson Offer You A Drink, Just Say No

Craig Ferguson Gets A Comedy Central Stand-Up Special

Jake Kalish — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 17:12:00 GMT

The special, titled A Wee Bit O' Revolution, is March 22nd at 10 pm, and the DVD comes out March 24th.This should be excellent, and unusual - Ferguson isn't a standard set-up and joke comedian, but rather a storyteller, and a great one. When he's on, his monologues are equal parts profoundly funny and profoundly moving. Like this one...

PREVIOUSLY:

Craig Ferguson is Classy

Jimmy Fallon's Going Green

Jake Kalish — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 19:22:00 GMT

We previously wrote about how everyone is skeptical about Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, and how classy Craig Ferguson defended Jimmy Fallon against the skeptics. And, we got to say, though Jimmy Fallon sure does giggle at his own jokes and play with his hair a lot, and that makes everybody want to preeemptively make fun of him, Ferguson's right. Let's give the kid a chance. (We can call Jimmy Fallon a kid because everyone here at the Remote Island is a senior citizen.) After all, he did get one hell of a house band. And now his new home, Studio 6B, will be of the first entirely green, eco-friendly TV studios. "Everything is recycled," says Fallon. Well, hopefully not the jokes.

PREVIOUSLY:

Craig Ferguson Is Classy

Desperately Trying To be Jimmy Fallon's E-Friend

Jimmy Fallon Is Aware Of Your/Our/Everyone's Skepticism

Conan O'Brien Will Star In A Bud Light Super Bowl Ad

Jake Kalish — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 21:40:00 GMT

Conan O'Brien has agreed to do a Bud Light ad, which will debut on Super Bowl Sunday. Lest you think Big Red is totally selling out, he's not taking any money for the ad, and instead asked Anheuser-Busch to make a large donation to The Fresh Air Fund. Way to not be outclassed by the ever-classy Craig Ferguson. As far as the ad itself, it's about Budweiser execs trying to convince Conan to do a spot, and Conan finally agreeing to do one. In Sweden.

Wait, Sweden? What about this:

Jeez, Conan, don't you watch your own sketches? Seriously, this one:

Conan O'Brien hates Sweden
by BaroqueW

Anyway, O'Brien's working with his head writer on the spot, so it should be good.

PREVIOUSLY:

Commercials Make TV Shows More Enjoyable?

Jennifer Hudson Will Sing The National Anthem At The Super Bowl

Our Conan Archive

Craig Ferguson Is Classy

Jake Kalish — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 15:25:00 GMT

Craig Ferguson came to the defense of future late-night rival Jimmy Fallon, saying

He's kind of like the reverse Barack Obama. He hasn't done anything yet, but everybody says he's doing it wrong. Give Jimmy a month before you review him. That would be fair, I think.

Very classy. Craig Ferguson goes on to make a very good point:

With these shows, nobody knows how you're going to do. And let's be honest - who thought I would be sitting here today (after) four years?

So true. After all, everybody was all kids of excited about The Chevy Chase Show , and that didn't go so well. Mostly because it was spectacularly bad.

Craig Ferguson, on the other hand, is very good - smart, funny, classy, and uncompromising, as this clip clearly shows:

PREVIOUSLY:

Our Jimmy Fallon Archive

Our Craig Ferguson Archive

If Russell Brand and Craig Ferguson Offer You a Drink, Just Say No

Ben Kallen — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 18:25:00 GMT

Hilarious British comedian Russell Brand shocked some people with his jokes about politics and promise rings on the Video Music Awards last week. If you didn't like that, you're really not going to like his truly offensive idea for a new soft drink, which he came up with last night on Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson.

Watch it above, then click through for the rest of the extremely funny interview.

Previously:
Seduction 101: How Craig Ferguson Charms the Ladies
MTV Video Music Awards 2008: Letter to the Stars

"Is It Just Me, Or Do You Get Kind of a 'Naughty Librarian' Vibe From the Governor?"

Ben Kallen — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 13:30:00 GMT

Nope, it's not just you, Craig. Alaska governor and Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin -- who's been in the news just a little bit lately -- appeared by satellite on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson more than a year ago, before most of the country knew much about her. (Now, of course, we know far more than we want to.) Watch the video above, and decide for yourself whether Craig's reading too much into the way she says the word "succulent."

Previously:
Seduction 101: How Craig Ferguson Charms the Ladies
The Republican Convention: Battlestar Galactica Edition

The Weekly Rewind: The Thrill of Victory, The Agony of TV

Ben Kallen — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 21:20:00 GMT

What a week! That Aquaman guy won a bazillion gold medals, our Russian gymnast from Texas beat their Russian gymnasts from Russia -- while China's 14-year-old 16-year-olds beat everybody -- and our beach volleyball players were surprised to learn that any other countries even have beach volleyball. Still, none of it did a damned thing for world peace... and all we cared about was how it looked on TV.

Now that we have our priorities in order, let's get on with the highlights of the week.

Well, before the week had even started, we lost a couple of greats: comedian Bernie Mac and TV's singing Chef, Isaac Hayes. Sad news, America, indeed.

To cheer ourselves up, we watched the late-night talk shows go sex-crazy. Jay Leno made with the sexy talk to guest Scarlett Johansson, while guest Kate Mara was seduced by Craig Ferguson. But watching David Letterman's cool old morning show was almost enough to make us forget about him smooching with Gillian Anderson. (P.S.: Welcome, Fark readers! Feel free to take a look around.)

We chose ten guest stars for Friday Night Lights, cast the upcoming Hawaii Five-O remake and put a little comic relief into Heroes -- but also learned we were losing the only new 90210 cast member who could keep things in the family.

We learned that America's Next Top Model is getting a girl with something extra, and that Dancing With the Stars might soon have a contestant who can bring his own tights.

We went back to Animal House, and thought Ernest Borgnine would have fit right in. But we also learned stuff about Alanis Morissette and Dave Coulier that we oughtn'ta know.

We found out what would have happened on the canceled Journeyman, and it made us want to time-travel. But we'd still rather watch the Olympics in real time.

And finally, we learned that Bigfoot, Julia Child's spy career, Britney Spears' entertainment career and Donald Trump's heart might be more than just myths.

Previously:
The Weekly Rewind: Is Couch-Surfing a Sport?

Seduction 101: How Craig Ferguson Charms the Ladies

Ben Kallen — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 20:55:00 GMT

Now that David Letterman is content to relive past times with Agent Scully, and Jay Leno settles for the perfunctory ogling of Scarlett Johansson, the real late-night king of starlet seduction is TV's Craig Ferguson. On last night's show, he appeared to just about charm the pants off of lovely young actress Kate Mara, star of the upcoming film Transsiberian. Find out how he does it, and watch the sparks fly, right here.

Craig Ferguson's Rules for Starlet Seduction:

1. Start with a double-cheek kiss. You can get away with it if you seem "European."

2. Get in plenty of "accidental" touching. Craig strokes her hand under the pretext of showing her ring to the audience, something she clearly enjoys.

3. Go easy on the compliments. (Kate: "Don't I have nice hands?" Craig: "Actually, I have nice hands.")

4. Find things you have in common. (Kate describes staying in a neighborhood in Glasgow while making a movie. Craig: "That's where I used to live!")

5. Hint about having a secret, dark background. (Craig: "I was the bartender... I had to throw myself out sometimes.")

6. Say things that may or may not predict naughty times in the future. (Craig: "You have to do something hugely embarrassing... tonight may be your night.")

7. Give her a "neg," i.e., a joking putdown. (Craig: "The Irish are just Scottish people that can't swim.")

8. Let her know you understand her belief system. ("Craig: "Do you believe in ghosts?" Kate: "Yeah, why?")

9. Move on to hard-core flirting. (Craig: "I think my dressing room here is haunted. I'm scared to be in it alone." Kate: "Really? Do you need someone to help you?" Craig: "Maybe just a cuddle.")

10. Let her do the rest. (Craig: "We're done here. We're out of time -- we need to stop this." Kate: "Why? We could keep going... I could help you in your dressing room, get rid of the ghosts." Craig: "Okay, yeah.")

Of course, it also helps if you're famous, and she's plugging a movie, and the whole thing is on TV. Here's how it all actually went down:

Previously:
Dave Letterman and Gillian Anderson Relive Their Makeout Session
Mr. Leno, Please Stop Drooling on Scarlett Johansson
Kristen Davis Talks About the Drunk Old Days

Charlie Sheen Makes Way More Money Than You Do

Ben Kallen — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 15:25:00 GMT

TV Guide has just come out with its annual survey of the top earners on television. And guess what? In case you didn't know it already, you're in the wrong profession.

Charlie Sheen tops the list as the highest-paid actor in a series -- Denise Richards' ex pulls in $825,000 per episode for Two and a Half Men, in which he has an ownership stake. Yes, that's for dick jokes. And fart jokes. And, yes, the kid's funnier.

That's followed by CSI's William Petersen, who makes $600,000 per episode (just when he's planning to leave the show -- guess you can have enough money), 24's Kiefer Sutherland at $500,000 (hey, torture-boy earns it), and Law & Order: SVU's talented Mariska Hargitay at $400,000. And after two decades of service, the voice actors on The Simpsons now make $400,000 per episode each -- so you'd better keep watching the ads if you want Fox to continue making new ones.

At the bottom of the list is Burn Notice's poor Jeffrey Donovan at $55,000 per -- darn cable! Even The Hills' Lauren Conrad makes more than that, $75,000 per episode, for doing whatever the heck it is she does.

But while that all may seem like a lot, it's peacock feed compared to the incomes of multitasking hosts, many of whom produce their own shows. Oprah Winfrey's company reportedly took in $385 million last year -- she could buy her own country if she didn't already run this one. Simon Cowell makes $50 million annually for pushing Coke on American Idol. Meanwhile, David Letterman makes $32 million annually (though a lot of that reportedly is spent on the show), with Jay Leno following closely behind at $27 mil. But wee Craig Ferguson gets by on just $2.5 million annually -- no wonder he keeps recycling the same Michael Caine and Prince Charles impressions over and over.

Oh, and Miley Cyrus took in $25 million for both acting and singing last year. But don't worry, she'll probably manage to earn some real money when she turns 16.

Image: CBS

Previously:
Emmy Nominations -- A Complete-ish List
Billionaire Tycoon Oprah Winfrey Advises College Grads That Money Isn't Everything

Kristin Davis Talks About the Drunk Old Days

Ben Kallen — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 16:09:00 GMT

Craig Ferguson may not be as hilarious as Conan, or as sarcastic as Dave, or as, er, people-pleasing as Jay. So what makes his show so good? Apart from the stream-of-consciousness monologues (which you may either love or hate), it's the fact that when Craig talks to guests, he really talks to them. Not just about their latest projects or where they went on vacation, but about genuinely interesting, sometimes personally revealing topics that are actually worth hearing about.

Case in point: Kristin Davis stopped by as part of the Sex and the City cast's "We own the media!" talk-show tour. After dispensing with chat about how all the ladies love the new movie, Ferguson brought up the fact that the two of them have something in common: They're both long-recovering alcoholics. (He jokes about it often on the show; while she recently discussed the issue in Health magazine.)

Before you knew it, the talk quickly turned to the kind of beverages they each used to enjoy, and that's where the fun really began. Davis quite enthusiastically outed herself as having been a youthful fan of champagne, scotch, bourbon, rum and Coke, mint julep and tequila (which she called "messy," and he described as being like drugs and alcohol in the same drink).

Just to make sure no one got the wrong idea, Davis quickly added: "We should just say that we are talking about this alcohol now with great relish, because we are alcoholics. Don't anyone get confused -- Craig and I are not going to go have a drink." Ferguson then pointed out that there's actually a name for this kind of reminiscing, "euphoric recall."

As parting advice to people who might model themselves after misbehaving celebrities, Davis ended by pointing out that "It's not glamorous to fall out of your car."

Kudos to Davis for setting an example about long-term (and, one hopes, permanent) recovery, and to both her and Ferguson for maintaining a sense of humor about a tricky subject.

Here's the video; the interesting part starts about halfway through.

Photo: HBO