The Remote Island : Conan O'Brien

Conan O'Brien Discovers An Exciting New Technology [VIDEO]

Jake Kalish — Fri, 15 May 2009 21:55:00 GMT

Funny, we think we've heard of this...

Like Conan, we're excited about this new technology called television, and we hope we've conveyed that excitement to you.

Bye.

PREVIOUSLY:

Jay Leno: "Conan Was Holding A Pillow Over My Face" [VIDEO]

The "Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien" Website Is Here [VIDEO]

Andy Richter Impersonates Conan O'Brien [VIDEO]

Jay Leno's Last "Tonight Show" Guest

Jake Kalish — Thu, 14 May 2009 21:35:00 GMT

We've gotta say, it's an excellent choice...

And so, the torch is passed. A classy team player, that Jay Leno. In addition to having the new Tonight Show host on last that last May 29th broadcast of the old Tonight Show, in the final week Leno will welcome Mel Gibson, Prince (he of the crazy interviews) and Billy Crystal, who was Leno's first guest when he took over Tonight in 1992.

PREVIOUSLY:

Jay Leno: "Conan Was Holding A Pillow Over My Face" [VIDEO]

The New "Leno" Will Be A Hell Of A Lot Like The Old Leno [VIDEO]

The "Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien" Website Is Here [VIDEO]

Andy Richter Impersonates Conan O'Brien [VIDEO]

Jake Kalish — Wed, 13 May 2009 18:22:00 GMT

In an orange wig with pigtails. So glad these two are back together...

PREVIOUSLY:

Andy Richter's Fake Nissan Commercial [VIDEO]

Andy Richter's Coming Back To Conan O'Brien

The "Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien" Website Is Here {VIDEO]

The "Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien" Website Is Here [VIDEO]

Jake Kalish — Mon, 04 May 2009 21:35:00 GMT

Sweet! And it comes with an important videotaped message from Conan...

Always love Conan's nerd voice, because we know it comes from the nerdiest parts of his nerdy person.

PREVIOUSLY:

Jay Leno: "Conan Was Holding A Pillow Over My Face" [VIDEO]

Conan O'Brien Will Love This

Andy Richter's Coming Back To Conan O'Brien

Conan: "11:30 Will NOT Make Me Grow Up"

Jay Leno: "Conan Was Holding A Pillow Over My Face" [VIDEO]

Jake Kalish — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 18:22:00 GMT

Jay Leno was back to work Monday after his first sick days in 17 years, and he joked in his monologue about some strange things that happened during his overnight hospital stay. This is actually pretty damn funny...

PREVIOUSLY:

Jay Leno Takes His First Sick Day In 17 Years

Conan O'Brien Will Love This

Is Conan O'Brien Really "Thrilled" Leno's Moving To 10?

Conan O'Brien Will Love This

Jake Kalish — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 15:11:00 GMT

According to their marketing director, NBC's top marketing priority for 2009 is...

Jay Leno.Yeah, because America is so unfamiliar with that guy. You ever get the feeling NBC executives secretly have money on NBC failing? Or that maybe they got their jobs because they read something about television once? Don't make a new show your top marketing priority. Don't make the new Tonight Show host your top marketing priority. Don't make any of the shows on your network that are actually really good (The Office, 30 Rock, Friday Night Lights) but not watched enough your top priority. Nah, don't do that, Peacock. Put all your money behind The Chin. Here's the explanation:

“Leno is the single most important marketing priority of the year,” says NBC Entertainment Marketing President Adam Stotsky. “We are deploying the necessary resources and bringing out the heavy creative guns.”

Stotsky hints that one potential positioning will be as an accompaniment to the network's news programming. “He [Leno] likes to talk about this as a broadcasting brand. You can start your day getting informed on topical issues with Today, get deeper insight with Nightly News and Brian Williams, and then laugh about the news at 10 with Leno.”

Great! Or we can laugh at the news at 11 and 11:30 with Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert! Because they're way more funny, edgy, and relevant than Jay Leno! We get it, this 10 o'clock nightly talk show hasn't been done before. Mostly because it's a bad idea. But as a cost-saving measure, it makes some sense. Sacrifice a little in ratings and save a lot of money, which you can then put into other stuff. But making Leno the #1 marketing priority throws all that out the window.

If NBC's executives were chefs, the first recipe in their cookbook would be for chicken salad made out of chicken shit.

PREVIOUSLY:

"Kings": Already In Trouble

We Called It: "Chopping Block" Has Been Chopped

Jay Leno Takes His First Sick Day In 17 Years

NBC Wins! Boston Will Get To See Leno's New Show

Is Conan O'Brien Really "Thrilled" Leno's Moving To 10?

When Leno Goes Primetime, Talk Shows Will Outnumber Other NBC Programming By Half-An-Hour

Jimmy Fallon: Serious About His Pizza

Lindy Parker — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 18:30:00 GMT

Now that Jimmy Fallon's taking over Conan's Late Night gig, we enjoy picturing him swaggering around town humming the "King of New York" song from Newsies under his breath. Maybe sometimes he actually breaks out in song and starts dancing on tables and spinning from ceiling fans, yelling, "Ain't I pretty? It's my city! I'm the king of New York!" We like to think this is the very behavior that got him into a fistfight before getting bounced from a NY pizza place Saturday night...

Apparently, Jimmy and his wife were just hanging out with the kids, enjoying a slice or two, when they were unceremoniously ejected from the premises. Although there are rumors that the incident came to blows, Jimmy's own account of the incident via Twitter is vague at best:

• actually asked to leave a pizza place today
about 13 hours ago from web

• Posto on 2nd (they also own Gruppo and Vezzo)
about 13 hours ago from web

• carb face carol rude to my 2 year old niece and an 11 month old (sleeping) because they heard i didnt like the pizza there.
about 13 hours ago from web

• crazy.
about 13 hours ago from web
• i actually like posto.
6:37 PM Apr 4th from web
• i am not (or ever will be) a food critic. this girl was laughing as we (my wife and I) were wheeling the kids out.
6:40 PM Apr 4th from web

So even though he continued in this fashion for many more tweets, we still don't have a clear understanding of what actually went down. Also, is "carb face carol" really the best the new prince of late night can come up with?

Previously:

Jimmy Fallon Was Way More Leno-ish Than We Expected

The Jimmy Fallon Era Begins Tonight

"Late Night With Jimmy Fallon" Gets Hot Interns

TONIGHT: Last "Late Night" With Conan O'Brien -- And Without Jimmy Fallon

A Late Night Look Back At The Iraqi Shoe Throwing Guy

Olivia Purnell — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 15:30:00 GMT

Back in December, a 28 year-old Iraqi journalist named Muntazar Al Zaidi threw both his shoes at President George W. Bush, yelling “This is a gift from the Iraqis; this is the farewell kiss, you dog!” Now he's been sentenced to three years in jail.

Well, sad for him, though we can't help but guess that he'll probably wind up the most popular guy there. So happy for him! He'll make so many friends! And happy for us that we have a reason to look back at the collective shoegasm that Letterman, Leno, and Conan had over the incident, after the jump...

And just for the record: here's the shoe hurling moment that earned a man three years in prison:

Before sentencing, Muntazar said:

“I am innocent. It was a natural reaction to the crimes of the occupation.”

All jokes aside, we concur.

(nytimes.com).

Previously:

Tonight: Jon Stewart Vs. Jim Cramer, Why Our Money's On Jon

One Fan Puts Will Ferrell's Bush To The Test

The Daily Show: George Bush's Psyche Goes Perfectly With a B-52

Andy Richter's Fake Nissan Commerical [VIDEO]

Lindy Parker — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 18:00:00 GMT

Here's a little fun with fake advertising to celebrate Andy Richter's long-awaited reunion with Conan O'Brien. Two things we find hilarious: 1. Andy Richter pulls off the shooting scene with a surprising amount of badass, and 2. We've never noticed before, but in a certain light, Andy Richter bears an amusing resemblance to Chris Farley...

Previously:

Andy Richter's Coming Back To Conan O'Brien

Conan: "11:30 Will Not Make Me Grow Up"

Will Arnett's Online Super Bowl Party -- You're Invited

No Need To Break Into Conan's Garage -- Now You Can Buy A Piece Of His Show

Chenda Ngak — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 21:54:00 GMT

Just because Conan O'Brien is moving on to take Jay Leno's place at the Tonight Show doesn't mean that all is lost. Conan die-hards can own a piece of the set and even some of the props now that the show has donated it all to New York City non-profit group Built It Green!

A Queens nonprofit agency is selling memorabilia from the set of O'Brien's "Late Night" NBC program, including backdrops, carpet and various props used on-air, the New York Daily News reported. Astoria-based Build it Green! toted truckloads of junk from O'Brien's set at 30 Rockefeller Plaza when he left the show last week to take over Jay Leno's spot on "The Tonight Show" in Los Angeles. (msnbc.com)

Build It Green! has been around since 1994 and you can read more about them at bignyc.org. We think it's great that the show is giving some love to the environment and a local non-profit. It's a win-win for all!

PREVIOUSLY:

Our Conan O'Brien Archive

Conan O'Brien Gives Jimmy Fallon A Giant Pickle

Jake Kalish — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 15:27:00 GMT

Not a euphemism. Really a giant pickle.You see, this is a Late Night tradition - Letterman had it in his office, and passed it to O'Brien, who is now passing it on to Fallon. But here, let Jimmy try to explain:

PREVIOUSLY:

Jimmy Fallon Now Protector Of Jim Henson's Hidden Muppet Graffiti

Our Late Night With Jimmy Fallon Archive

Andy Richter's Coming Back To Conan O'Brien

Jake Kalish — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 19:45:00 GMT

Yay! Andy Richter will be the announcer for The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien - and will participate in comedy sketches. They'll be together for the first time since Richter left on May 26, 2000. Wait did someone say the year 2000? That makes us want to take a look into the future...

The return of Richter is excellent, excellent news. Andy and Conan always had great chemistry, and it's no exaggeration to say O'Brien wouldn't have gotten through those very rocky first few years without Richter's comedic help. Richter left to pursue an acting career, and while that probably didn't pan out as he would've hoped, Andy Richter Controls The Universe (2002-03) definitely falls into the "brilliant but cancelled" category. Netflix - or, better, buy. But don't just take our word for it, take a look:

If this TV thing were a meritocracy, that show would still be on the air. Of course, then we wouldn't get this reunion. Andy was Conan's last non-musical guest on the final broadcast, and on that show Conan played their most famous sketch together...

Welcome back, Andy Richter.

PREVIOUSLY:

Our Conan O'Brien Archive

Conan: "11:30 Will NOT Make Me Grow Up"

Bryan Christian — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 16:22:00 GMT

Conan said goodbye to New York Friday night, and it was a clasy affair. Long-time fans were no doubt pleased to see Mr. Andy Richter show up -- and possibly a little disappointed that he didn't get to do more -- and Will Ferrell dropped by to take off his pants one more time. (Tho this time, the pants came from his George Bush costume. Wonder if he'll break those out on Broadway anytime soon!) And The White Stripes did a touching version of "We're Going to Be Friends" that, while a little sad, didn't turn the place into a cryfest.

But the best moment by far? When at the end of a long "thank you" to practically everyone Conan had ever met, he assured his audience that moving to an earlier timeslot wasn't gonna make him suddenly boring. Click through for the video.

TONIGHT: Last "Late Night" With Conan O'Brien -- And Without Jimmy Fallon

Bryan Christian — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 22:42:00 GMT

Everybody hold hands.... we'll get through this OK somehow.

Conan O'Brien gears up for last ‘Late Night’ [MSNBC]

Jimmy Fallon: Nice kid, works hard, good pedigree, but ... [TV Barn]

PREVIOUSLY:

Mayor Bloomberg Gives Conan The Keys . . .

Who Is Jimmy Fallon's First Guest???

Alec Baldwin Gets Killed Off Conan

Conan O'Brien's Last Musical Guest On Late Night Will Be The White Stripes

Jimmy Fallon Wants To Be A "Voice Of America"

Mayor Bloomberg Gives Conan The Keys . . .

Olivia Purnell — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 17:00:00 GMT

As the countdown to Conan’s exodus to Los Angeles continues, New Yorkers are finding their own ways to say goodbye to the ginger giant. Some send flowers, candy. Others have themselves killed off on air (genius, Alec. genius). And dear Mayor Bloomberg gave Conan a gift that only a man of his prominence and political clout can give.

He gave Conan the keys . . . F the keys to the city. Conan already runs NYC. Mayor B gave Conan a set of keys that open the door to somewhere really special.

Soooooo jealous.

(nbc.com)

Previously:

Max Weinberg Leaving Conan O’Brien
Conan Delivers His Final “State Of The Show” Address As Host Of “Late Night With Conan O’Brien”
Conan O’Brien’s Last Musical Guest On Late Night Will Be The White Stripes

Alec Baldwin Gets Killed Off Conan

Olivia Purnell — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 18:00:00 GMT

Alec Baldwin is so awesome. He’s flawless on 30 Rock. He’s one of the greatest SNL hosts of all time (he’s hosting this Saturday, thank you very much!). Sure, he screamed insanely at his daughter over voicemail, but we're willing to over look a little bit of bad parenting.

He’s an amazing interview. The man is so quick and glib, and D for Dubs (Doooowwwwn for Whateva). He stopped by Conan last night to have a chat and to retire an old character of his. Alec has played himself so frequently on Conan that he wanted to go out with a bang.

Click through to see Alec get wacked. It’s kind of amazing:

(videogum.com)

Previously:

Alec Baldwin Has Something to Say About Salma Hayek
Alec Baldwin Used To End His All-Night Benders in The ‘80’s By Playing ‘Galaga’

Conan O'Brien's Last Musical Guest On Late Night Will Be The White Stripes

Jake Kalish — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 16:11:00 GMT

So tune in for the final broadcast February 20th, like you weren't going to anyway.

Trivia Time: Do you remember who the last musical guest on Late Night With David Letterman was, back in 1993? (No cheating!)

Time's up. Hint: the same guy who just played the Super Bowl.

That's right, Springsteen, doing a powercharged rendition of "Glory Days", and totally invading Paul Shaffer's space:

PREVIOUSLY:

Our Conan O'Brien Archive

Jon Hamm Protects Us From His Handsomeness

Jake Kalish — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 23:27:00 GMT

Jon Hamm was on Conan O'Brien Wednesday night, when Conan asked him the question that's on everybody's mind. "What is it like", asked O'Brien, "to be that handsome?" "I have had to take certain precautions," responded Hamm. "I can't believe you've held eye contact for this long." Watch the clip and find out all the things Jon Hamm does to shield us from his smoldering good looks. (O'Brien asks the question at about 3:25 into this clip):

PREVIOUSLY:

First Sniff Of Jon Hamm On "30 Rock" (Mmm..Frosting!)

Jon Hamm And His Problem Hair

"Mad Men" Bobblehead Dolls?

"Mad Men" Clothing Line?

Max Weinberg Leaving Conan O'Brien?

Jake Kalish — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 14:30:00 GMT

According to a new exclusive, Max Weinberg is not likely to go to Los Angeles for The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien. The New York Post reports that Weinberg will probably not join the Tonight Show when Conan becomes its host next month. This, after Weinberg took all last week off to practice for Springsteen's Super Bowl halftime show, prompting Conan to comment "Who needs a whole week to practice 'Born In The U.S.A.?" Here's the story, as the Post is reporting it: Weinberg's a New Jersey guy, with a big Jersey estate, and doesn't want to move to the West Coast. Plus, he makes most of his money drumming for the Boss' E Street band, so he doesn't have to. No more Max Weinberg 7? They'll need to change the names on all the drums. Let's hope this gets resolved - it'd be tough for Conan to break in a new musical leader - or would he just promote Jimmy Vivino?

PREVIOUSLY:

Our Conan Archive

Lisa Loeb Marries Conan O'Brien's Music Supervisor

Jake Kalish — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 22:45:00 GMT

His name is Roey Hershkovitz, and he's 30 - a full decade younger than Loeb. Lisa, you cougar, you!

This is excellent news for anyone who watched Lisa Loeb's 2006 VH1 reality show #1 Single, about her desperate search to find a husband and have a baby after a couple of long-term failed relationships.The show led to quite a few emotional moments, like this one with her mom:

But now she's got her man! Now we just hope he'll stay. Get it? Because that was her actual #1 single:

Elisabeth Moss Watched Fred Armisen Make Out With Paul Rudd On Their First Date

Olivia Purnell — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 19:45:00 GMT

And she’s still gonna marry him . . .

Apparently, Fred brought Elisabeth to the Saturday Night Live set when they first began dating (A whopping three weeks ago, or so). And the first sketch she witnessed happened to be a familial make-out scene. Watch Fred and his amazing glasses tell Conan all about it:

There was quite a bit of tongue in that sketch. Is it weird that this makes us like Elisabeth and Fred more as a couple? Yeah, we thought so.

(videogum.com)

Previously:

Fred Armisen Wants His Wedding to Elisabeth Moss To Be Really Funny
Elisabeth Moss and Fred Armisen Are Engaged
Elisabeth Moss and Fred Armisen High On Our List Of Favorite Celebrity Couples

Conan O'Brien Will Star In A Bud Light Super Bowl Ad

Jake Kalish — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 21:40:00 GMT

Conan O'Brien has agreed to do a Bud Light ad, which will debut on Super Bowl Sunday. Lest you think Big Red is totally selling out, he's not taking any money for the ad, and instead asked Anheuser-Busch to make a large donation to The Fresh Air Fund. Way to not be outclassed by the ever-classy Craig Ferguson. As far as the ad itself, it's about Budweiser execs trying to convince Conan to do a spot, and Conan finally agreeing to do one. In Sweden.

Wait, Sweden? What about this:

Jeez, Conan, don't you watch your own sketches? Seriously, this one:

Conan O'Brien hates Sweden
by BaroqueW

Anyway, O'Brien's working with his head writer on the spot, so it should be good.

PREVIOUSLY:

Commercials Make TV Shows More Enjoyable?

Jennifer Hudson Will Sing The National Anthem At The Super Bowl

Our Conan Archive

Bye Bye Forever, Masturbating Bear?

Jake Kalish — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 16:33:00 GMT

Conan O'Brien told the Chicago Tribune that, when he becomes the host of the Tonight Show June 1st, he's leaving some more childish things behind:

There are things that I did in my 30s and early 40s, like Masturbating Bear, that I'm sure some frat guys will say, 'You sold out by not doing Masturbating Bear,' But I'm tired of it. I'm 45 years old … and I have two kids now.

No Masturbating Bear? What what what? Dude. Dude! Dude...

Sorry. We don't know how we feel about theall-grown up Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien, but we do know how we feel about the masturbating bear. We love him, and his pal, Vomiting Kermit:

PREVIOUSLY: Our Conan Archive

Conan O'Brien: "The Feathers Are Back On The NBC Peacock!"

Jake Kalish — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 16:33:00 GMT

Conan did a bit on Tuesday about how psyched he was about NBC's "midseason turnaround" - and we think he may have been kidding:

Conan and Colbert Do "In The Year 2000"

Jake Kalish — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 20:34:00 GMT

Conan O'Brien, he of the raw deal that he says thrills him, is still damn funny after all these years biding his time at 12:30. If you didn't catch Monday Night's "In The Year 2000" with Stephen Colbert, do. They're great together, and It's one of the funniest versions ever of this decade-and-a-half long gag. Especially the Eva Longoria and Amy Winehouse jokes.

When Leno Goes Primetime, Talk Shows Will Outnumber Other NBC Programming By Half-An-Hour

Jake Kalish — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 14:32:00 GMT

There's been a ton of great writing on this whole "Leno in Primetime Land" thing -- Alan Sepinwall's scathing analysis for the NJ Star-Ledger, Bill Zehme's claustrophobically weird yet undeniably insightful essay on Leno for The Daily Beast -- but the most interesting thing we've read about the effects of Leno's move to 10 p.m. comes from the LA Times' business section, which notes that when this goes down, NBC will have 17 1/2 hours of nightly talkshows a week, as compared to only 17 primetime hours of everything else - reality shows, sitcoms, dramas, Deal or No Deal. As a consequence, the going's gonna be real tough on every talk-show host not named Leno to book guests. Jay, of course, dismisses any potential effect this might have on The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien:

That won't be any problem. I mean, it's less of a problem than if we were on competing networks. . . . I would rather fight with my family than the other networks.

Well, yeah, you say that; you're the guy in primetime.

O'Brien, of course, is still keeping on his happy face, but another question remains: what the hell will everybody talk about for seventeen and a half hours on NBC? The fact that no one watches anything else on the network? Are we not getting into chicken/egg territory here?

Is Conan O'Brien Really "Thrilled" Leno's Moving To 10?

Jake Kalish — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 14:34:00 GMT

Conan O'Brien says Leno moving to 10 p.m. is "a happy ending." Why do we feel like that's his way of giving the "jerk-off" sign without saying so?

I am absolutely thrilled that Jay is staying at NBC. He has been my lead-in on this program for 16 seasons. He is a fantastic lead-in. He is a huge part of my success. I am indebted to Jay Leno. And I love the idea that that relationship is going to continue. He is going to be my lead-in continuing, I hope, for a long, long time.

Really? I mean, yeah, you have to say that. But really? This is such a weird situation for O'Brien - he's like a minor leaguer, who, after years of busting his ass, finally gets the call up to the big leagues - only to discover there's another, bigger league nobody told him about. Leno made the point that his show, at 11:30, was doing better than a couple of the shows NBC had on at 10, like Lipstick Jungle and My Own Worst Enemy. Which is true. But those shows were cancelled. So that's kind of like saying you're better looking than the guy with face excema and a giant goiter.

Love to know what's really being said behind the scenes here.

We Want What Tracy Morgan Is Having

Jake Kalish — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 13:26:00 GMT

If you haven't seen Tracy Morgan on Wednesday night's Conan, do. Seriously, whatever he's on, we'll take two and a sixer of Bud to go.

Click thru for the video!

Go to about minute 16 in the embedded clip. You don't know at first something is amiss - he starts as just a regular wacky guest, and then gets wackier and wackier. So wacky that, about two thirds of the way through the interview, O'Brien says this:

You're seeing a breakdown on the air.

Maybe. But, as talk-show breakdowns go, it's way funnier than this one. (Although not nearly as sexy as this one.)

-- Jake Kalish is the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights

Martha Stewart Gives Conan a Good Scrubbing Before Bed

Ben Kallen — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 19:25:00 GMT

There's one thing we learned from Wednesday's episode of Late Night With Conan O'Brien: If you want to go to bed with Martha Stewart, you'd better be really clean. (Okay, maybe that's not exactly surprising.)

First Martha literally scrubbed Conan's face like a dog, and then the pair snuggled close on some mattress she's promoting. The juxtaposition was, like Martha herself, just a little bit kinky.

For some reason, NBC decided not to put this entire segment online -- embarrassed much? -- so watch the clips from E News Now.

Previously:
McCain's Campaign Strategy: Make Conan Laugh

Top Ten Returning Shows: #1 - TIE: "30 Rock" & "Terminator"

Bryan Christian — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 21:27:00 GMT

The new fall season is almost here. Starting next week, the cable and broadcast networks will be begin rolling out new episodes of all the shows that survived the writers-strike-afflicted 2007-2008 season, giving us the chance to get acquainted with some old friends -- and reacquaint ourselves with more than a few characters who we met only fleetingly last fall. Here, then, are the top ten returning shows that we're most looking forward to seeing.

It's a tie! We're as surprised as you are! (No, really; you have no idea.)

Here's the thing: we pretty much knew that 30 Rock would be at the top of this list. Its qualifications? Um, let's see... Amadeus parodies, blue dudes, werewolf bar mitzvahs, the Shinehardt Wig Company, "mind grapes," a seemingly endless supply of Conan O'Brien jokes, Tim Conway being racist, Paul Reubens being inbred, Will Arnett being Will Arnett, "MIND GRAPES" again, The Rural Juror, "Muffin Top," and Tracy Morgan saying "I was poopin' in the ladies room at the Ivy." Done.

But we totally did not expect Terminator to be right up there with it.

For one thing, it's got its share of problems. Like the narration, which strikes us as the sort of hollowly emotional flourish that disappears after a while, like Suddenly Susan's grandma. For another, we're not entirely confident in the way the story is screwing with the Terminator continuity. Maybe this is something that's being addressed in McG's big-screen Terminator sequel? And, well, we're not big fans of John Carter, who's kind of a sourpuss.

But as any sentient computer system worth their bandwidth will tell you, numbers don't lie -- and Terminator showed up in more of our "yes, please" lists than any of the other shows coming back this year.

Maybe it's the interplay between Lena Headey's Sarah Connor -- hotter and more human than Linda Hamilton, if somewhat less tortured -- and Summer Glau's new model (get it?) Terminator, Cameron (get it?) Phillips? We sometimes wish Cameron would go back to being as good at pretending to be a teenager as she was in the pilot, but she's clearly having as much fun sexifying the "square, Vulcan-type" role as, say, Jolene Blalock did back on Enterprise, so we'll just roll with it.

Ah, hang on... now we get it. Maybe if we were running around with two pistol packin' betties and not getting any action, we'd be sourpusses too.

30 Rock (Thursdays at 9:30 PM EST) premieres Thursday, October 30 at 9:30 PM EST on NBC

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (Mondays at 9PM EST) premieres THIS MONDAY at 9:00 PM on FOX

TOP TEN RETURNING SHOWS FALL 2008

#1. "30 Rock" & "Terminator"
#2. "Dexter"
#3. "Gossip Girl"
#4. "Pushing Daisies"
#5. "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"
#6. "Heroes"
#7. "Dirty Sexy Money"
#8. "House"
#9. "Entourage" / "Californication"
#10. "The Shield"