The Remote Island : Clay Aiken

"30 Rock": Everybody Was In "Kidney Now" [VIDEO]

Jake Kalish — Fri, 15 May 2009 21:05:00 GMT

Everybody - and we mean everybody - was in that fake benefit song in the season finale of 30 Rock. Elvis Costello, Clay Aiken, Sheryl Crow, the Beastie Boys, Maroon 5’s Adam Levine, Mary J. Blige, Wyclef, Talib Kweli, Moby, Norah Jones, Cyndi Lauper, and more. Plus, the song had catchy lyrics:

This country has six million kidneys/and we really only need half/that leaves about three hundred million kidneys/Do the math.

Check it out...

PREVIOUSLY:

Judah Friedlander, World Champion [VIDEO]

Salma Hayek Likes To Sync Her Weddings With Her "30 Rock" Appearances

NBC: Incompetent Would Be A Step Up [VIDEO]

Can Clay Aiken Get Gayer?

Jake Kalish — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 21:44:00 GMT

As Remote Lindy reported, Clay Aiken will be a guest judge on America's Next Top Model. He'll also be an acting coach on the show. Which isn't as odd as it sounds - Aiken got good reviews for his turn on Broadway in Spamalot. We've been mulling over this announcement, and it strikes us as pretty funny, given Clay coming out of the closet recently. Dude, you don't get bonus points for being extra gay.

PREVIOUSLY:

"Top Model" Cycle 12 Premiere Pushed To March

"Top Model" Cycle 12 Premiere Pushed To March

Lindy Parker — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 17:45:00 GMT

Top Model fans (Yes, fine, okay, we watch it) will have to put their excitement on hold for an additional week -- the premiere of Cycle 12 has been moved from February 25 to March 4. On the plus side, Miss T had added a new guest judge this season to help the models with their acting challenge...

Is Clay Aiken really the best Tyra can do for an acting judge? Maybe she wants him to talk to the girls about the pressures of a reality show competition, or how to catalyze a feud between Kelly Rippa and Rosie O'Donnell, or maybe he could just talk about being a new father -- you know, things all the models can relate too.

Previously:

America's Next Top Model Cycle 12: Tyra Chooses the Models

The Weekly Rewind: Playing Politics

Ben Kallen — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 21:50:00 GMT

When did the political process turn into the world's biggest reality show? Now the candidates have become so much a part of our daily entertainment, they might as well be on The Hills. We'll look back at them and much, much more, as we review the many highlights of the week.

We tried to figure out what makes David Spade such a stud with women, but couldn't do it.

We tried to warn 90210 star Shenae Grimes about what happened to former 90210 star Shannen Doherty. And hoped Donnie Wahlberg wouldn't turn into Tara Reid.

We imagined a Kanye West puppet show.

We watched as Robot Chicken spoofed Heroes. Then we watched Heroes, and wondered why Dr. Suresh reminded us of Jeff Goldblum.

We saw what would happen if William Shatner fought himself, and if Mr. Spock faced Dr. Spock. But when the old 90210 fought the new 90210, it was no contest.

We read about how Clay Aiken had come out as Clay Aiken.

We learned a ridiculous amount about '80s teen star Kirk Cameron. Go ahead, ask us anything.

We heard Will Ferrell's response to his fans, and a band's sweet, sweet Lost music, and Idol winner David Cook's retro new single.

We watched the Emmys, then recapped the Emmys, then boasted about predicting many of the winners. We appreciated Josh Groban's weirdly cool theme-song medley, and we really appreciated Mad Men's Christina Hendricks in her Emmy dress. And we enjoyed Jimmy Kimmel's Emmy-related musical number with Salma Hayek, mostly because it involved Salma Hayek.

We enjoyed Bill Clinton on Letterman, then enjoyed Chris Rock making fun of Bill Clinton on Letterman, then enjoyed Dave making fun of John McCain for not going on Letterman. We were dumbfounded by Katie Couric's interview with Sarah Palin, and by a certain phrase describing President Bush. We heard what Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert talk about when they start getting real. We heard the debates over the debate.

,,, And then we read Barack Obama's pep talk from President Bartlet. And then Chris Rock said this, and we were done for the week.

Previously:
The Weekly Rewind: Sex and the Country

Clay Aiken, We're Absolutely Shocked!

Ben Kallen — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 14:20:00 GMT

Okay, we're actually not even the tiniest bit surprised by this. But good for him for making it official.

Says the Huffington Post:

"People hits newsstands on New York and L.A. on Wednesday, and their new cover is a doozy. American Idol alum Clay Aiken and newborn son Parker pose for their first photos AND Aiken officially comes out.
"Parker Foster Aiken was born on August 8 in North Carolina to Aiken's good friend Jaymes Foster, 50. The pair met when Aiken was a contestant on American Idol.
"He was in Spamalot on Broadway earlier this year and is returning now.
"Aiken has long remained silent about his sexuality."

They add, "More to come"... but is there really anything else to say about this topic?

Previously:
Clay Aiken Becomes a Father
New American Idol Judge Is No Softy

The Weekly Rewind: Is Couch-Surfing a Sport?

Ben Kallen — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 21:20:00 GMT

Before we all put on our moisture-wicking athletic socks and prepare to watch eight billion hours of Olympics coverage, let's take a look back at some top stories of the week:

We watched a bunch of Calvin Klein Obsession ads and decided not to go to film school.

We marveled at scenes from the never-made Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Animated Series and wished there were more.

We found out what happened to Joe Schmo and Joe Millionaire, and it wasn't pretty.

We learned that Charlie Sheen earns twice as much as Mariska Hargitay -- and that Lauren Conrad "earns" 30 times as much as us.

We watched supposedly funny campaign ads by John McCain and Barack Obama, and decided that at least one of them should get a new day job. (Preferably, one that doesn't involve Tyra Banks impersonating your wife.)

We watched as Nashville Star and Last Comic Standing and So You Think You Can Dance crowned new winners, and wished we were watching American Idol instead. Especially after a brand-new Claymate entered the world.

We saw two Christian Slaters, after almost forgetting there was even one.

We wondered if it's possible to make singer Joss Stone unattractive enough for English royalty.

We realized that no Bob Saget roast would be complete without Olsen-twin sex jokes, but were still kind of shocked by Uncle Jesse's.

We developed a crush on a newscaster. And saw a newscaster get an inappropriate crush of his own.

We got jailhouse survival tips from Jack Bauer.

We heard about some place overseas where a bunch of sporting events are about to begin.

Previously:
The Weekly Rewind: Baby, I Love Your Way

Congratulations To Mr. And Mrs. Ruben Studdard

Bryan Christian — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 18:25:00 GMT

Mozel tov to American Idol winner Ruben Studdard, who married his girlfriend Surata Zuri McCants over the weekend in a ceremony that apparently didn't feature any singing whatsoever. We know! We go to weddings anymore and it's like they're trucking out 3rd Grade talent show champions and this guy wins a national competition and at this wedding: nothing! LOVE YOU, DUDE! All the best, and remember: don't let Clay Aiken bully you into babysitting now that you're settling down. You'll have plenty of time later for hanging with kids.

How To Audition for "American Idol"

Ben Kallen — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Okay, so American Idol has just announced that its auditions for next season will start in July. But while pretty much anyone in the right age range can try out, it takes a lot to do it successfully... even just to pass the first hurdle and be selected to go on camera in front of Simon, Randy and Paula. Well, we're no experts, but we do watch the show on TV. So we feel as qualified as anyone to offer the following advice to you would-be Kellys, Davids and Sanjayas out there:

Come prepared. There's a lot of waiting around before Idol auditions, much of it outside in harsh weather conditions. And yet when you're called before the producers, you'll be expected to look as fresh as if you just walked in from a climate-controlled limo parked in front. Bring water, food, folding chairs, blankets, sunscreen, entertainment, friends -- everything you'll need to sit around for hours on end without getting grumpy.

Look hot. Idol will give a chance to great-looking people who sing okay, or great singers who look as if they need a makeover. What they won't accept is okay singers with mediocre looks. If you're sexy, dress sexy; if you're sweet, dress sweet. If you're a guy, dress casual-hip and be well groomed. Unless you have an Aretha high note or a Clay Aiken croon, it helps a lot to be potential eye candy for Simon and/or Paula.

Have a story. Idol loves interesting back-stories, especially ones about overcoming hardship. Living through a disaster, growing up poor or surviving a serious health condition are all gold where the producers are concerned. (If you look good and sing okay, they may also accept growing up on a farm in a tiny town, having a relative in the military, or being a young parent.) Don't make up a story, but if you've got one, use it -- you're much more likely to make it past the early judges to the big show. (On the other hand, if the producers decide your story is that you've become instant friends with the nerdy, overweight guy standing in line next to you, you're doomed.)

Have personality. This doesn't mean big and show-bizzy -- it means be nice, friendly and energetic. Look the producers in the eye and talk to them. Be confident, even if you don't feel it. Smile like you mean it. If you're the least bit shy, they know Simon will say you're "boring" and send you on your way.

Pick a great song. Have friends -- or, if possible, a professional musician or singing coach -- help you pick a catchy, preferably modern song that works well with your voice. Practice it forever, to the point where you can't screw it up even when you're nervous. And have another couple of songs prepared as well, in case someone wants to hear "a different side" of you. (If you do an old hit by Frank Sinatra or Janis Joplin, they may put you through as a novelty -- or they may just send you home.)

Be a great singer. It helps to take lessons and practice a lot, but also requires natural talent. Sorry.

If you're going to suck, suck big. Hey, maybe you have no talent and you know it -- you just want to get on TV. (Yes, we know how many of you are out there.) These days, you can't just be bad; the Idol producers have seen that all before. You need to be monumentally bad -- with weird clothes, an oddball personality, and, of course, a fierce, unshakable conviction that you're actually the greatest singer in the known universe. If you can fit looking funny, dancing poorly, singing horrendously and pitching a great big tantrum all into 30 seconds, they'll play your segment over and over for months to come. Hey, you asked for it.

Photo: AmericanIdol.com