The Remote Island : Barack Obama

"Gossip Girl's" Matthew Settle Has Something to Say About Michelle Obama

Olivia Purnell — Thu, 14 May 2009 16:43:00 GMT

Rufus Humphrey says he thinks that Michelle Obama is . . .

Smokin' hot.

"Can you say the first lady is hot? Is that allowed?” he asked at Capitol File Magazine's WHCAD party. Rufus is telling the truth. Michelle is fine. She is a good looking woman. This is fact. Look at those guns. But Matthew might want to watch what he says about her royal fineness.

Although, Barack strikes us as an easy going, basketball playing, hamburger eating kind of guy, we're not sure how kindly he's gonna take to Gossip Girl's resident DILF shooting off his mouth about the First MILF.

(intouchweekly.com)

Previously:

David Letterman Defends Barack Obama

David Lettermans Top 10 Reasons I Got Married Do Not Include Blake Lively [VIDEO]

David Letterman Showed Kate Hudson's Ass To America Last Night

"The Daily Show" Rips Arizona State University [VIDEO]

Jake Kalish — Thu, 14 May 2009 15:11:00 GMT

So Arizona State University wouldn't give an honorary degree to their commencement speaker, a guy you might have heard of, because they said President Barack Obama's body of work was "yet to come." This decision was widely panned, but all that was just warmup until The Daily Show got to Tempe, AZ. This is Jason Jones reporting from Arizona State, the "Harvard of Date Rape"...

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

M - Th 11p / 10c

Arizona State Snubs Obama

thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Economic Crisis

Political Humor

PREVIOUSLY:

Dan Rather, "Daily Show" Correspondent?

The Winner For Best TV Show In The World Is...

Barack Obama Asks For Dijon Mustard On His Burger, Sean Hannity Thinks That Makes Him An Elitist Pansy [VIDEO]

Wanda Sykes Doesn't Want To See Obama's Nipples [VIDEO]

Olivia Purnell — Mon, 11 May 2009 17:00:00 GMT

Wanda was chosen to speak after President Obama at the White House Correspondents Dinner this weekend. Her mission? To roast the President himself. When we heard she got that gig, we didn't envy her. Making fun of the man who has somehow patented 'Hope' (you're no longer allowed to use that word without Whitehouse approval and a little copyright symbol) is no small task. Even Jon Stewart has troubs. But Wanda somehow managed. She poked fun at the perfect prez, got some serious laughs from the black-tie Whitehouse set, and we even giggled a few times.

How did she do it? Nipple humor.

Funny, we're kind of into Barack's shirlessness. We think his half-nudity really helps U.S. foreign relations.

Also, how in Obama's name did Wanda fully ignore the hot mess sitting right next to her. Not one hair joke. Not one Flock of Seagulls reference. Not one!

(buzzfeed.com)

Previously:

Wanda Sykes Is Coming To Fox Late-Night [VIDEO]

Wanda Sykes Picked To Make Fun Of Barack Obama

Wanda Sykes: Out And Proud!

Barack Obama Asks For Dijon Mustard On His Burger, Sean Hannity Thinks That Makes Him An Elitist Pansy [VIDEO]

Jake Kalish — Thu, 07 May 2009 21:35:00 GMT

"I hope you enjoyed that fancy burger, Mister President."

So much could be said. But it already has been.

PREVIOUSLY:

Dan Rather, "Daily Show" Correspondent? [VIDEO]

David Letterman Defends Barack Obama's Honor

Keith Olbermann vs. Sean Hannity On Waterboarding - It's Heating Up [VIDEO]

David Letterman Defends Barack Obama's Honor

Olivia Purnell — Thu, 07 May 2009 17:00:00 GMT

Lately former Vice President Dick Cheney has been sipping on vast amounts of presidential haterade, criticizing Barack left and right. "Buck Shot" Cheney is not happy with the fact that Prez Obama at the helm, and he's made his displeasure known calling the President's new economic and foreign policies "dangerous." Dick, Dick, Dickdickdick . . . those are bold words after eight, dare we say, marginal years in office. We feel like someone should remind Old man Cheney of his track record, and perhaps let him know that we don't appreciate his lip.

Not to worry, big Dave is on the case. Like Kiefer Sutherland to Brooke Shields' rescue, David Letterman delivered a late night verbal head butt to Cheney's geriatric face.

(buzzfeed.com)

Previously:

David Lettermans Top 10 Reasons I Got Married Do Not Include Blake Lively [VIDEO]

David Letterman Showed Kate Hudson's Ass To America Last Night

Strange But True: Kiefer Sutherland Headbutts Designer Defending Brooke Shields' Honor

Is Fox Right To Preempt Obama?

Jake Kalish — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 17:30:00 GMT

We don't think so. But a new editorial makes a compelling argument...

This from Richard Huff of the New York Daily News:

Fox is going to get skinned in some parts, no doubt, for not carrying President Obama's 100-day press conference Wednesday night.

That's just wrong.

The network should be praised for not giving up a third night of lucrative prime-time television for yet another presidential press conference.

Enough already.

Yes, he's the President and he's talking about issues that directly affect all of our lives. And yes, we want to know about those issues and are happy he keeps us updated.

But in the absence of some striking new development, or something he hasn't addressed before, every network doesn't have to drop everything because he's clearing his throat.

Oof. Rough. But fair? We think Fox is making the wrong call here - the Obama Presidency is historic, and the 100-day mark is historically an important date in incipient Presidencies. It is a day of note, and these press conferences serve the administration's laudable goal of more transparency and dialogue. Also, we suspect Fox's decision has a lot to do with Rupert Murdoch's politics. But...

It's not like Obama's 100th day wasn't going to be covered like hell all over the news networks anyway. CNN is planning a giant election-type special. So even sans press conference, Barack Obama's Presidential accomplishments are today's topic. Recounting these accomplishments himself is a move that could make President Obama seem way too much like Rickey Henderson. But there is a press conference, and over 80% of the country has cable. In addition, 3 of the 4 networks are carrying the press conference. So anyone who wants Obama can get Obama. That's not really the point - the point, still, is priorities. But it is the truth. Back to Richard Huff:

So Wednesday night, Fox will stick with "Lie to Me" and "American Idol," while others go with Obama.

The risk in having a TV-friendly President is that by being on so often, viewers will ultimately become desensitized to seeing him, and perhaps miss the importance of what he might say.

The last thing anyone needs is someone to say, "Oh, honey, it's Wednesday at 8, the President's new series is on again - everywhere. Tonight, let's see what's on ESPN."

On the bright side, we're beginning to see how comedians will be able to make fun of Barack Obama.

What do you think? Did Fox make the right call?

PREVIOUSLY:

"American Idol" Beats Barack Obama

Okay, Now President Obama Is Just Messing With Television Executives

Obama On TV: Bad Strategy? [VIDEO]

"American Idol" Beats Barack Obama

Jake Kalish — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 13:35:00 GMT

Wow. We joked about the networks being pissed at Obama for scheduling his 100-day press conference during May Sweeps, but we didn't expect this...

Fox will not air Wednesday's press conference. Here's the explanation:

Fox has decided not to broadcast President Obama's 100th-day press conference Wednesday night, opting instead to let sister cable networks Fox News Channel and Fox Business Network air the address in its entirety.

The address, scheduled for 8 p.m. (ET), could have possibly affected the "American Idol" results show, which begins at 9 p.m., and the network did not want to risk that during the critical sweeps period for ratings, according to sources. Fox has historically not registered high ratings for presidential addresses and decided, given the nature of this particular press conference, not to show it, sources said. Fox aired Obama's two previous primetime addresses.

Key words: "the nature of this particular press conference." As in: Barack Obama making note of his Presidential accomplishments. Think this could maybe have a little something to do with Rupert Murdoch's politics? Wouldn't want the President's press conference to preempt a new Lie To Me, or even possibly a single second of the Idol results show. Priorities, people.

PREVIOUSLY:

Okay, Now President Obama Is Just Messing With Television Executives

Details On Kal Penn's White House Gig

Today In WTF: Turkish TV News Anchor Dons Blackface To Report On President Obama [VIDEO]

Get Your Adam Lambert "Ring Of Fire" Ken Doll [PHOTO]

"American Idol": See Adam Lambert Way Before He Crushed All Competitors Under The Weight Of His Immense Talent [VIDEO]

Aw, KC And Freda Payne Weren't That Bad On "American Idol"

Okay, Now President Obama Is Just Messing With Television Executives

Jake Kalish — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 21:27:00 GMT

Barack Obama's 100th day as President comes next Wednesday, April 29th. CNN had already announced plans to make the 100th day a major Election Day type event, and now the President has announced his plans to schedule a primetime press conference that evening.

Yeah, just one problem with that - it's the first Wednesday of the (in this case inappropriately named) May Sweeps. You know TV execs are pissed:

By scheduling a press conference on the night, the president is positioning himself to directly participate in the debate over his early performance.

There’s no word yet on whether the broadcast networks will agree to the White House request, though one network insider said it’s all but a given they will.

Programmers have been peeved at President Obama’s numerous primetime appearances since taking office, because every unscheduled speech or press conference results in a loss of ad revenue.

The latest appearance falls on the first Wednesday of the May sweeps, which means networks also will have to reschedule some key programming.

Heh. He's just screwing with them. You know he is. What's next? Watch for him to pop up right at the end of the American Idol finale -

"Russia has just launched nuclear missiles over soveriegn airspace. We have begun retaliatory stikes. This is likely doomsday....Just playing! Gotcha! What? Come on, you already know Adam Lambert's gonna win..."

PREVIOUSLY:

The 2008 Presidential Election Will Be An HBO Movie [VIDEO]

Details On Kal Penn's White House Gig

Today In WTF: Turkish TV News Anchor Dons Blackface To Report On President Obama [VIDEO]

Obama On TV: Bad Strategy? [VIDEO]

The 2008 Presidential Election Will Be An HBO Movie [VIDEO]

Jake Kalish — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 19:59:00 GMT

HBO is making a film about the 2008 Presidential Election, based on a not-yet finished book by political writers Mark Halperin and John Hieleman. No pressure, though, guys.

Our old friend Sarah Hepola on Salon invited readers to speculate on who would play Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin. From where we're standing, it seems like the toughest part to cast is the lead - Barack Obama. Will Smith always seemed like the feature-film choice down the road (the ears help him there) but the biggest movie star in the world probably wouldn't do a TV film. Terrence Howard? Great actor. Jeffrey Wright? Maybe even a better actor. Might not be good-looking enough; is that mean to say?

Regardless, with all the twists and turns, it's a great story for a movie - so finish that book, fellas. It's remarkable, in seeing the recent photos of President Barack Obama and Secretary Of State Hillary Clinton meeting at a picnic table, that this happened just last February...

PREVIOUSLY:

Details On Kal Penn's White House Gig

Today In WTF: Turkish TV News Anchor Dons Blackface To Report On President Obama

Obama On TV: Bad Strategy?

Maverick Sarah Palin Bravely Takes On Teenage Boy

Can Clinton/Blair Compete With "Frost/Nixon"?

Details On Kal Penn's White House Gig

Jake Kalish — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 21:35:00 GMT

So as you probably know by now, Kal Penn left House via self-inflicted gunshot wound (character, not actor - Kal's fine) in order to work for Barack Obama in the White House. Now Malia Obama taking lots of photos of Kal Penn during her daddy's inaugural concert is starting to make more sense. She probably knows Kal Penn, that's like her first big preadolescent crush. We just totally made that up, but we like it.

Anyway, this is very cool of Kal Penn. And now we know what, exactly, he'll be doing for Barack Obama...

A spokesman for President Obama tells PEOPLE that Penn, who was an active volunteer in Obama's campaign last year (and whose parents were Hindu immigrants from India), will handle the president's outreach to the Asian-American Pacific Islander community and the arts community. The spokesman was careful to clarify that, by arts community, they don't mean Hollywood – but rather, the type of organizations and activists that work to activate music programs in schools and keep community theater alive.

Wow. That's an important gig, with a lot of responsibility - and a great building block for a career in public service or politics. Could weed-loving Kumar be President Of The United States, say in 2024?

PREVIOUSLY:

Kal Penn Goes From "House" To The White House [VIDEO]

The HBO Inaugural Concert, Behind The Scenes

Tonight On "House": Guest Star -- Meatloaf. Yes, Meatloaf.

Today in WTF: Turkish TV News Anchor Dons Blackface To Report on President Obama [VIDEO]

Lindy Parker — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 18:00:00 GMT

Admittedly, we don't have an extensive and/or nuanced understanding of Turkish culture, so we're trying to imagine any scenario in which this isn't just unbelievably offensive...

The thing is, we actually get the sense that we'd be even more incensed if we understood the language. Also, why does the TV anchor look weirdly like Orson Welles?

This just keeps getting more disturbing.

Previously:

Obama on TV: Bad Strategy? [VIDEO]

Barack Obama's Goodwill Trip To L.A. Includes Insulting Special Olympics, "American Idol"

TV Networks vs. Barack Obama

Barack Obama Really Wants To Talk To You [AUDIO]

Kal Penn Goes from "House" To The Whitehouse [VIDEO]

Olivia Purnell — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 17:00:00 GMT

We didn't see this one coming.

We were all excited about Meatloaf's guest appearance on House last night. In preparation. We played "Anything For Love" as loud as possible on our tape deck. (Yes, we still own a Casio. It's pink. We have a Trapper-Keeper, too.) We watched Fight Club a few times, fastforwarding to Meatloaf's man-tit scenes and playing those in slow mo. It was magic. But we can't talk about it. That's the first rule.

We were so busy meatloafing that we did not prepare ourselves for the tragic end to Kutner's residency. We were blindsided when Kal Penn's character, Dr. Lawrence Kutner, commited suicide on House. Very sad. But not to worry, Kal is truly moving on to a better place. He's going back to work for Prez Obama.

Penn will be the associate director in the White House's Office of Public Liaison & Intergovernmental Affairs -- a similar job he had while campaigning for Obama last year.

Penn -- known for his role in the stoner comedy Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle -- says he had been "thinking" about moving into politics "for a while."

He took several political science courses in college and even participated in an online international studies program at Stanford in 2006.

"I love what I do as an actor. I couldn't love it more. But probably from the time I was a kid, I really enjoyed that balance between the arts and public service," he says. "I thought this might be the right time to go off and do something else."

We didn't know if a couple of Poly-Sci courses and a stake in the ganja-ladden Harold & Kumar franchise qualified you for a career in politics, but apparently an odessey to White Castle is the new Supreme Court Clerkship.

Congratulations, Kal. But you will be missed on House. To prove it, Fox has posted the following unbelievably ridiculous video homage to Dr. Kutner:

wow.

(usweekly.com)

Previously:

The HBO Inagural Concert, Behind The Scenes

Tonight On "House": Guest Star -- Meatloaf. Yes, Meatloaf

"House" Viewers Hate Gay Sex?

House and Cuddy Finally Do The Deed

Obama On TV: Bad Strategy? [VIDEO]

Jake Kalish — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 17:35:00 GMT

Barack Obama's appearance on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno got huge ratings - one of the four biggest nights in the 15 years of Leno doing Tonight, with numbers matching Leno's January 2005 Johnny Carson tribute. And, given Obama's Special Olympics crack/gaffe/prelude to a million apologies, these bonanza ratings are probably bad for Barack. Of course, the Barack Obama television express kept right on rolling with yesterday's 60 Minutes appearance, during which Steve Kroft noted Barack Obama's odd laughy/jokey demeanor, and asked if he was punch drunk.

If the Obama administration's goal was to get millions of people to watch the President on television, well, then, "Mission Accomplished." But should that be the goal? Or a more specific, longer question: on a week of nonstop financial calamity and turmoil, in which Obama became the first sitting President to guest on a late-night talk show and gave an eight-minute ESPN interview on his NCAA Tournament bracket, was Barack Obama's use of television effective?

A lot of people are questioning whether the President risks overexposure - but, from where we're sitting, that doesn't seem to be the question. Barack Obama is the most powerful man in the world, and a gigantic mega-star personality besides. Whatever he does will be covered on television. Of course, that will be news coverage, and the people who watch the news are not exactly the same as the people who regularly watch Leno and ESPN. But that begs another question: not to sound snotty, but should Barack Obama be spending time and energy trying to explain himself on TV to people who don't follow the news?

The answer seems to be yes - but not like this. Televised fireside chats are an excellent idea. As are the constant press conferences. But Obama being interviewed on ESPN about his NCAA Tournament bracket was God -awful; we swore we could faintly hear Nero fiddling. And The Tonight Show? That's a tough one. It's easy to second-guess after the Special Olympics comment, but, at least to this correspondent, it did seem like a pretty good idea beforehand. And it's important to remember that before that crack, Obama was great in the interview. Of course, that's the risk you run in going off-the cuff; there's a reason no sitting President has done a late-night talk show before. And what are we talking about now? The Special Olympics. Even without the screw-up, the question coming from the right (and some in the middle, and left) would have been "What's he doing in Los Angeles, anyway?" Whch is not a totally unfair question. The 60 Minutes piece was more standard President-on-television stuff - but there, Obama's awkward laughter may have undermined his many serious points - and those laughs have already been much-analyzed and critiqued. Barack Obama may indeed, be punch drunk - and not from the challenges of the administration, but the constant stream of television appearances this week.

In discussing the possible television overexposure of Barack Obama, Paul Begala on CNN dismissed the complaints, saying "If you've got Michael Jordan, you give him the ball." And that's cute. But it's wrong. Barack Obama is the Leader Of The Free World and a "Transformative Figure" to whom people naturally flock. So how about this instead: If you've got Michael Jordan, you don't need to draw up plays for him to score.You just get out of his way. The television strategy employed by the Obama administration this week - Leno, and especially ESPN - is the sort of thing you'd do to improve the image of a President you believe is smart, but has perceived personality deficiencies - dullness, or difficulty explaining himself succinctly. It's what you'd do if Al Gore or John Kerry were President now. Barack Obama is not Al Gore or John Kerry. So perhaps the best television strategy moving forward is no "strategy" at all, or at least not set-up informal scenarios which reinforce that the relaxed, cool guy is, sure enough, still cool and relaxed.

He's already got the ball. Just get out of his way.

PREVIOUSLY:

Barack Obama's Goodwill Trip To L.A. Includes Insulting Special Olympics, "American Idol"

TV Networks vs. Barack Obama

Barack Obama Really Wants To Talk To You [AUDIO]

"The Simpsons" Try To Bring In Barack Obama

Olivia Purnell — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 18:00:00 GMT

Simpsons producers James L. Brooks and Al Jean want Barack. And why wouldn’t they? We already know he’s funny, charismatic, and that tenor tone of his would work so well punctuated by a “D’oh!” or two. Brooks and Jean say they’re on it. They say they’re “putting all the right signals out.” But are they really?

We’re pretty sure that The Simpsons could have Barack with bells on if the producers just do one simple thing . . .

Call Malia. You just know those girls have Daddy Obama wrapped around their adorable little pinky fingers. He’ll do anything they ask!

Sasha is a little too young for The Simpsons, but Malia probably watches from time to time. She definitely likes Bart but identifies with Lisa’s smarts and sensitivity (you can just tell, can’t you?) Get Malia on the phone and lay out the proposal. Tell her how awesome it would be to see an animated version of dear old dad getting a wedgie from bully Nelson. Barack could philosophize with the doped up bus driver about the spiritual implications of tax reform, befriend Apu at the Kwik-E-Mart, or even take young Lisa under his wing.

Malia is a smart girl. We know she’ll get the joke. Brooks, Jean: make the call.

(thesun.co.uk)

Previously:

Barack Obama's Goodwill Trip To L.A. Includes Insulting Special Olympics, "American Idol"

Fox & Friends Can't Say D'Oh

Brand New HD "Simpsons" Intro Reveals About A Billion More Jokes, Mocks Your TV

Barack Obama's Goodwill Trip To L.A. Includes Insulting Special Olympics, "American Idol"

Jake Kalish — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 15:22:00 GMT

First Barack Obama's trip to Los Angeles shut down local airspace, forcing the top 10 finalists to fly out of another airport for their trip to Detroit for "Motown Week." (Check out Seacrest's Twitter.)

Then Barry O went on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno. And insulted people with intellectual disabilities. Yes we can shouldn't! Video after the jump.

It's the part where he's talking about bowling.

Wait, we get that score when we bowl. He's insulting the differently abled (what's the word these days?) and us. What a jerk! Recount! Recount!

OK, so he's apologized. But seriously, between this and his near-gaffe about Jessica Simpson's weight on Super Bowl Sunday, we have to ask: when does Barack Obama actually get his presidential foot far enough into his silver tongued presidential mouth far enough to where he can't get it out? No, really, when? 'Cause we are totally DVRing that.

PREVIOUSLY:

Oof, Taylor Hicks

Simon Cowell Tells Michael Jackson What To Do

"American Idol": Grace Is Gone

TV Networks Vs. Barack Obama

TV Networks vs. Barack Obama

Jake Kalish — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 13:35:00 GMT

The television networks are annoyed with Barack Obama. Because these press conferences are costing them money...

Obama will give his second news conference as President Tuesday at 8. Because the networks can't air ads during Presidential press conferences, every time the Prez speaks directly to us about the economic crisis, it costs them:

"Every time the president disrupts primetime, the networks lose another couple million dollars,” one TV industry insider said. “In this economy, that’s the last thing we need.”

The President "disrupts primetime"? Wouldn't want a discussion of our economic collapse to get in the way of your Law & Order:SVU.

PREVIOUSLY:

Barack Obama Really Wants To Talk To You

Barack Obama Is Going On "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno"

Barack Obama: Great With Press Conferences, Bad With Helicopter Doorways

Barack Obama Really Wants To Talk To You [AUDIO]

Jake Kalish — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 14:30:00 GMT

Barack Obama will give his second primetime news conference Tuesday, March 24th, at 8 p.m. And the President may not stop there. According to Slate Obama is considering doing a series of televised "fireside chats" in which he briefly talks directly to the American people - just like FDR, but with pictures. Possibly he will do this while holding Abraham Lincoln's bible and quoting George Washington. Love Barack, but do you ever get the feeling he thinks he's playing President?

Aw, we kid. Actually, talking to us is an excellent idea. This whole economic catastrophe sort of feels like being beaten while drugged - we're not sure what's happening, but it hurts.

FDR's first fireside chat, delivered March 12, 1933, was about a banking crisis. Yup, the more things change...

Anyway, not to take you back to high school History, but we've got the recording of that fireside chat. Come on, listen. It's pretty cool, in a Presidential Library kind of way...

PREVIOUSLY:

Barack Obama Is Going On "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno"

"The Daily Show" Asks: Is Obama the Anti-Christ, Hitler, Or A Bisexual Pimp?

Bobby Jindal Takes On Barack Obama...[Update:...And Fails]

Barack Obama Is Going On "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno"

Jake Kalish — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 21:06:00 GMT

March 19th. It's the first-ever appearance by a sitting President on a late-night talk show. The President plans to discuss his economic plan and "other topics" which may or may not include dumb newspaper headlines and dumb people on the street. Aw, we kid Jay - he's already doing a real solid with his free stand-up show for Michigan's unemployed.

PREVIOUSLY:

Jay Leno Doing A Free Standup Show For The Jobless In Michigan [Update]

Bobby Jindal Takes On Barack Obama... [Update:... And Fails]

Barack Obama: Great With Press Conferences, Bad With Helicopter Doorways

Michelle Obama Saves The Economy With $340 J. Crew Ensemble

Surgeon General Watch: No Dr. Sanjay Gupta? Then What About Dr.McDreamy?

Jake Kalish — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 22:25:00 GMT

President Obama:

You were considering appointing a real television doctor, CNN Medical Correspondent Sanjay Gupta, to the position of Surgeon General. Now that Dr. Gupta has withdrawn his name from consideration for the post, why not go all the way and appoint a fictional television doctor? Come on. You know it's brilliant. Or idiotic. Either way. Look,Prez (Can we call you Prez? No? Sorry, sir.) if you can't have some fun in appointing the nation's doctor, when can you have fun? Go with Dr. Derek Shepherd. Or Dr. Gregory House. Or even Dr.Doug Ross. He's political.

PREVIOUSLY:

5 Ways Real Doctors Can Be More Like TV Doctors

Oprah Adopts A Puppy

Jake Kalish — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 17:30:00 GMT

We don't usually do puppy news, but it's Oprah, Ruler of the Heavens and Earth. Plus, it gives us an excuse to put up a picture of a puppy. This is the word so far: it's an 8-week old blonde cocker spaniel.No name yet. A shelter dog, of course, 'cause it's Oprah. She's probably already given that dog a new car. So Oprah Winfrey was very influential in getting Barack Obama elected, but now she's stolen some of the Presidential family's thunder by picking a puppy before they do. Could this be the first crack in their relationship? God, imagine if Oprah and Barack became enemies. It'd be like The Hulk fighting Superman. He could be like "This puppy news, that's my thing. Step off." And she could say "You think you're the only star allowed to adopt a puppy?" And he'd say "but couldn't you have shut up about it?" And she'd say "Have you ever watched my show? Would I ever shut up about that?"

This is an elaborate fantasy, and it results in her ripping into his stimulus package, and him wondering aloud what the Stedman thing is all about. Then they become archenemies, and square off in the 2012 Democratic Primary. That, or just throw thunderbolts at each other on Mount Olympus.

Bobby Jindal: "I Could Have Spoken Better"

Jake Kalish — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 17:35:00 GMT

Now there's the understatement of the year. Bobby Jindal, doing far more damage control than one speech should ever warrant, admitted he didn't sound great in his response to Barack Obama. But he says his message was on point:

Look, I get that people thought I could have spoken better. I get that. That's fine ... What's important to me is the content. I'm a policy guy. You guys know that. I've always been a policy guy, always will be a policy guy. The ideas are important. The substance is important.

Fair enough. The substance sucked. And don't just take it from some pinko big city heathens - that's what members of his own party said, in only slightly more delicate terms. And sometimes less delicate terms - David Brooks called the speech "insane" and "a disaster."

What Jindal seems not to get - or is conveniently trying to ignore - is that while people made fun of the delivery (often mercilessly), they criticized the substance of Jindal's response - which Jindal wrote himself. Might be time for some spending on a speechwriter, Bobby. Jindal called for less government aid when his state is (deservedly) receiving billions in much-needed federal aid. Does he not understand that, in financial terms, the levees have broken? Then he justified this by saying "there are some who think government can solve our problems. Those of us who lived through Katrina, we have our doubts."

Wow, that's some twisted logic, isn't it? Because the Bush administration screwed up the Katrina response so royally, we should give up on the federal government, and not have any hope for the Obama administration's financial stimulus package?

Not even to mention the fact that part of his Katrina story was a lie. And then there was the "volcano monitoring" anecdote, like monitoring volcanoes is somehow a bad idea:

The bill, he said, included "$140 million for something called 'volcano monitoring.' Instead of monitoring volcanoes, what Congress should be monitoring is the eruption of spending in Washington, DC."

Officials in Alaska and the rest of the Pacific Northwest, where volcanoes are a constant threat, appropriately noted that eruptions have devastated communities there and could do so again. The 1980 eruption of Mount St. Helens killed 57 people and left more than $2.7 billion in damage in 2007 dollars. Monitoring of Mount St. Helens prompted evacuations ahead of that eruption that saved thousands of people.

So, fine, Kenneth the Page. We'll judge you on the substance.

PREVIOUSLY:

Bobby Jindal Takes On Barack Obama [Update:...And Fails]

"The Daily Show" Asks: Is Obama the Anti-Christ, Hitler, or a Bisexual Pimp?

Olivia Purnell — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 19:27:00 GMT

Thank God for The Daily Show. Who else is gonna ask the really important questions?

See if we can get some GD answers after the jump . . .

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things With Demetri Martin

Funny Political News
Joke of the Day

Did Reverend James David Manning actually call the President of the United States Hitler's sexual bicycle? The Rev’s got some balls on him doesn’t he? Crazy balls. Mentally unstable balls. But cojones nonetheless.

(videogum.com)

Previously:

Bobby Jindal Takes On Barak Obama
America's TV Husband Jon Stewart Publically Man Crushes On Britain's On Screen Lover Daniel Craig

Bobby Jindal Takes On Barack Obama... [UPDATE: ... And Fails]

Jake Kalish — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 16:44:00 GMT

In case you don't know, Barack Obama is addressing Congress tonight at 9 Eastern tonight - preempting American Idol, among other programs. Perhaps just as interesting as the President's first speech to Congress is who's been tabbed to give the Republican response on TV right after Obama's speech - 37 year-old Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, an Indian-American who many see as the Great (non-White) Presidential Hope for the down-and-out Republican Party, its "Obama", if you will - a bright, (very) young star with an exceptionally impressive resume. Unlike Barack Obama, however, Jindal is staunchly Conservative (some might say extremist on social and religious issues) - and if recent developments are any indication, he isn't likely to agree with much of what the President says. You see, in what many saw as political grandstanding, (perhaps even a little positioning for the 2012 Presidential race) Jindal said Louisiana would reject some of the money it would get from President Obama's economic stimulus package. To Jindal's credit, he has been extremely gracious about Barack Obama's victory, and unlike Rush Limbaugh, is rooting for the President to succeed:

"I think every American is incredibly proud by the president's personal story, the fact that we will be seeing him addressing his first joint session of Congress," Jindal said after governors met with Obama on Monday.

"We absolutely -- Republicans or Democratic governors -- we want our president to succeed. When we disagree with him, we will certainly offer alternative ideas and solutions," he added.

It'll be very interesting to hear what alternative ideas and solutions Jindal offers, and what tone he takes in offering them, given Obama's high popularity rating.

UPDATE

A few choice reviews from last night:

The verdict on Bobby Jindal: Epic fail [National Post]

That was like watching Will Smith vs. Urkle ... [Andrew Sullivan]

David Brooks: "Insane... Disaster" [News Hour via YouTube]

Rachel Maddow: "I'm absolutely stunned" [MSNBC via YouTube]

Chris Matthews: "Oh God" [MSNBC via YouTube]

Whoopi Goldberg Kicks Ass on Bill O'Reilly

Nicole Ankowski — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 18:15:00 GMT

We’re going to ignore that she is also obsessed with ass, because (a) who isn’t? And (b) watching the divine Ms. Goldberg repeatedly use the phrase “up your butt” while Bill O’Reilly tries to nod sagely is highly amusing.

Whoopi appeared on FOX’s The O’Reilly Factor over the last two nights, and is perhaps the only person we’ve seen you actually made Bill listen when she said: “Do me a favor here: Don’t. Bullshit. Me.” She then smoothly pointed out his sexist treatment of veteran White House reporter Helen Thomas, while knowing when to smile, nod, and let Bill choke on his own bloated ego...Oh, did we mention that Bill is, apparently, the only person in America who truly "understand[s] the Barack Obama phenomenon"?

Two nights ago she told Bill not to bullshit her (minute 3:10), and got him to say, “I stand corrected” when he implied The View is liberal and hated on John McCain when he was a guest, but bowed down to Michelle Obama. Whoopi pointed out that Michelle – and Cindy McCain – appeared as guest co-hosts, and of course The View crew treats co-hosts differently than an interview guest.

Bill then tried to compare the media’s treatment of Obama to the treatment of Sarah Palin. Whoopi stopped him and said, let’s take a look at the media’s treatment of the female candidates. O’Reilly insisted that the media treated all the women the same, and when Whoopi hinted that he had not done so, he sputtered indignantly – which led to our favorite line of both nights, as Whoopi said:
“What, suddenly you don’t speak English? You know who I’m talking about...You were very respectful towards [Hillary] Clinton the whole time?”

Bill replied, “Hillary Clinton? Yes I was. And she had an interview with me, that I think everybody says was the best interview she ever had.”

And then we puked in our mouths, just a little bit.

Last night’s second half of the interview is getting a ton of press today, because Whoopi called Bill out (technically, he invites her to call him out; smart talking head!) on his sexist mocking of veteran White House journalist Helen Thomas (he called her the “Wicked Witch of the East” and pretended to cackle in imitation). Whoopi lets Bill get away with some scandalous statements, but turns out she’s just biding her time to make her point. She then uses great psychology, telling him that his comments were mean, but in such a way that he couldn’t rebuke her: “I thought you were a little out-of-character mean.”

We also learn that Bill is confused about journalism (“I think the media is corrupt, and it’s a threat to all of us.” -- as if he’s not part of the system). And more than a little confused about, well, his place in culture, history…and the universe?
He says, “I understand the Barack Obama phenomenon almost better than anyone else in this country, because I look at it from outside…” And then tells Whoopi they both “came from the bottom rung.” He also dismisses anyone’s excitement over Barack being president as simply “emotional.”

Whoopi comes off as level-headed, intelligent, and able to beat him at his own game in these two clips. In other words, we could watch them and not want to rip our hair out.
Watching O’Reilly’s original comments, however, were insulting to all humanity, but probably great for his ratings. Good for you, and your soul, Bill. When he mocks 88-year-old Helen Thomas, who’s “covered every presidential administration since JFK’s,” he reminded us of former GOP Rep. Dick Army, who appeared on MSNBC’s Hardball on January 28, with Salon’s Joan Walsh. When Dick couldn’t keep up with Joan’s arguments, he kept throwing up his hands and saying, “Give it a rest!”

Joan countered with, “Please stop saying ‘give it a rest.’ Do you have anything else to say?”

His retort? “I am so damn glad that you could never be my wife, because I surely wouldn’t have to listen to that prattle from you.”

Joan was classier than we could have been, in the situation. She paused momentarily, then said: “Boy, that makes two of us, sir. That was really an outstanding comment.” We couldn’t agree more. Read Joan’s thoughts, here.

Whoopi's Interview, Part 1:

Whoopi's Interview, Part 2:

O'Reilly's Original Comments on Helen Thomas:

Helen Thomas' Question for Barack Obama:

Joan Walsh and Dick Army on Hardball:

Previously:
The Jessica Alba / Bill O'Reilly Feud Continues... Now On MySpace!
Jon Stewart gives Bill O’Reilly a Teddy Bear
Wake Up And Smile: If The Ladies Of The View Smoked Meth, There’d Be Some Stabbing
'The View' Crew Discusses Being 'Born Gay'
Michelle Obama Guest Hosts on "The View"

Wanda Sykes Picked to Make Fun of Barack Obama

Olivia Purnell — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 19:30:00 GMT

Do we feel bad for Wanda or Barack?

Wanda has officially been chosen to entertain at the White House Correspondents Association’s annual event in Washington DC on May 9th. Wanda is charged with the Herculean task of making fun of Barack Obama a man whose name is pretty much synonymous with hope.

Rough, even Chris Rock has said making fun of Barack is a fool’s errand.

Wanda, Godspeed and good luck girl. Start. Prepping. Now.

(deadlinehollywooddaily.com)

Previously:

Wanda Sykes: Out and Proud

Barack Obama Makes The Digital TV Delay Official

Jake Kalish — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 14:49:00 GMT

The Obamas tensely watching Nick At Nite on Tuesday, November 4th, 2008

June 12th it is, officially, due to the Prez signing this legislation. Of course, because this is a giant mess, almost 40% of local TV stations plan to go digital next Tuesday the 17th, on the original deadline. Here's part of President Obama's written statement:

Millions of Americans, including those in our most vulnerable communities, would have been left in the dark if the conversion had gone on as planned, and this solution is an important step forward as we work to get the nation ready for digital TV.

Yes, except signing this legislation doesn't really solve the whole problem, as the LA Times Technology section points out:

Not everyone will get the benefit of that extra time. Though the major TV stations in Los Angeles won't turn off their analog signals until the new deadline, the law allows stations to apply to go ahead on the original date -- at the end of the day next Tuesday -- or anytime between now and June 12.

Nearly 500 stations have applied to pull their analog plug on Tuesday, although the FCC may block some early transitions. The most likely places the FCC will step in are markets where most stations want to make the switch early and many residents are unprepared.

In fact, the FCC just rejected 25% of TV stations' early DTV-switch applications. Oy.

Barack Obama: Great With Press Conferences, Bad With Helicopter Doorways

Jake Kalish — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 20:33:00 GMT

From where we were sitting, Barack Obama was absurdly impressive in his first Presidential press conference. Seemed like he'd been doing it for years. He kicked ass and took names. (Can you say that about a Presidential Press Conference? Sure, why not?) But apparently, some things don't come as easily to Barack Obama as giving seven-minute, in depth, multi-part answers to complicated questions. Like, for example, entering the Presidential helicopter. Earlier in the day, the new President totally bunked his head while entering Marine One. Of course, like the cool cat he is, he played it off like nothing happened. (Can you call the President a "cool cat"? Sure, why not? Everything is so new and exciting!) Watch the President giving an in-depth, multi-part answer in which he levels with the American public about how dire this financial crisis is. And then, to make yourselves feel better, watch him bump his head!

PREVIOUSLY:

Our Barack Obama Archive

Bill O'Reilly's Analysis Of The Barack Obama Press Conference

Jake Kalish — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 17:00:00 GMT

Bill O'Reilly called Barack Obama's press conference "boring" and "longwinded." You know, because he gave detailed answers to important and complicated questions. Watch O'Reilly laughably complain about someone talking too much, even as his (mostly) conservative guests contend Obama actually did a good job:

Ricky Gervais Writes To Barack Obama About Paris Hilton

Jake Kalish — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 22:11:00 GMT

Paris Hilton is in England shooting a British version of her reality show, to be called Paris Hilton's British Best Friend, and in so doing, has bought a house in North London, just a few miles from Ricky Gervais's place. This has upset Mr. Gervais greatly, so he has used his considerable pull to write a letter to the President of the United States requesting Paris Hilton's removal from England, and outlining how this could be done. Ricky's proposal to Barack:

An open letter to Barack Obama.

Dear Mr President,

Firstly, congratulations on your historic win. I have never been so behind a candidate for what must be considered the boss of the world.

You seem to be a man of grace and integrity, who would never shirk responsibility in any way.

I'll get to the point.

As I'm sure you are aware, one of your flock has strayed. A Miss Paris Hilton, who is, I believe, a resident of Beverley Hills, is in England doing a reality game show for ITV2 called Paris Hilton's British Best Friend. Fine. I have no problem with that. I don't have to watch. But now it has come to my attention that she has bought a house in North London a few miles from me, and is out and about ingratiating herself with the Great British public.

Mr President. We are not stupid. This is clearly a retaliatory strike for Posh Spice moving to LA. I know it, and you know it, so let's cut the "it's a free country" nonsense and come to some agreement.

I propose an exchange.

This is how it would work. We call them both and tell them that we've found a giant "paparazzi nest", in New York say. (half way home for both of them already)

At first they may be confused that they'd never heard of such a thing before, but the thought of that many photographers in one place will be irresistible.

Once we get them there, while they are having their photos taken (we will have hire a few guys with cameras to make it look good) we will swap their limos around. It's fool proof.

This is a covert operation of which Mr Gordon Brown knows nothing. (I've got him working on finding a synthetic fur for The Queen's guards' bearskin hats.)

Have your people call my people. They may have to call a few times as my people are useless to be honest.

Thank you,

Ricky Gervais

Barack Obama Will Be Interviewed By Everyone Today

Jake Kalish — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 15:10:00 GMT

Today, at the White House's request, the President will sit down for separate interviews with the anchors of ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, and Fox News. Seriously, everybody's talking to Barack today. We've heard a rumor that the hosts of an Aurora, Illinois public access show have a sitdown with Obama at noon.

The interviews will be broadcast throughout the day and evening. Gosh, this President certainly does things differently than his predecessor, doesn't he?

PREVIOUSLY:

Our Barack Obama Archive