The Remote Island

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• Top 10 Posts of 2008 -- #10: Imaginary TV Fights: Shatner vs. Shatner vs. Shatner

  As you may know, Remote Jake is the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights, and before we were able to get him as a regular writer, he contributed a series of Imaginary TV Fights to the blog. They're all great -- Old 90210 vs. New 90210, Duchovny vs. Duchovny -- but there's something wonderful about the first one, which is the only three-way fight Jake produced and which -- no kidding -- has one of our favorite illustrations all year. It still cracks us up! Look at how perfectly the heads fit on those bodies -- and how much hair T.J. Hooker Shatner has! Imaginary TV Fights: Shatner vs. Shatner vs. Shatner >> The Top 10 Posts of 2008: Complete Countdown Posted Dec 26 2008, 11:18 AM by Bryan Christian with | with no comments Filed under: William Shatner, Imaginary Fights, Top 10 Posts of 2008

• "Million Dollar Password"??? We'd Settle For "Bus Fare Password"

  Seriously, won't this show ever die? Read More... Posted Dec 15 2008, 09:35 AM by Jake Kalish with | with no comments Filed under: game shows, Aisha Tyler, William Shatner, Regis Philbin, the recession, Million Dollar Password, Password

• Jenna Jameson And William Shatner Are A Match Made In Television Heaven

  Hmm. Maybe another title for this show could be William Shatner Talks To Women He's Fantasized About Having Sex With? Nah, too long - and you should never end in a preposition. Read More... Posted Dec 12 2008, 11:32 AM by Jake Kalish with | with no comments Filed under: talk shows, William Shatner, Jenna Jameson, porn, William Shatner's Raw Nerve

• William Shatner To Piss People Off Starting Tonight At 10 On The Biography Channel

  We've long believed that the only thing more rewarding than watching William Shatner act is watching William Shatner just be William Shatner. George Takei would certainly disagree. But seriously, Bill uses the same unbelievable no human could ever possibly talk that way delivery to discuss his acting method as he did to order the firing of photon torpedoes. So we were psyched to hear about the new provocative interview show, William Shatner's Raw Nerve, premiering tonight at 10 Eastern on the Biography Channel. We got even more psyched when we saw the ads for the show... Read More... Posted Dec 02 2008, 05:26 PM by Jake Kalish with | with no comments Filed under: William Shatner, William Shatner's Raw Nerve

• “Brothers and Sisters”: Young Hot Action

  Don’t let the title of this post confuse you.  We’re not opposed to old hot action, or middle-aged hot action.  For example, if Sally Field found herself a dapper older man (anybody but William Shatner) to club and drag back to her lair, we’d be down.  We’ve been waiting for that moment since seeing reruns of The Flying Nun.  We’d be all “Get it Gidget!  We knew you had it in you, sister!”  Read More... Posted Nov 17 2008, 11:55 AM by Olivia Purnell with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: William Shatner, Brothers & Sisters, Sally Field, Brothers and Sisters

• Choose Your "Top Chef" Fantasy Team

  Tonight's the night: the fifth season of Top Chef gets underway and we are ready.  We love Top Chef.  Chefs cooking for Cirque Du Soleil, Chef's cooking for rockstars, Eric Ripert in a santa suit -- anything can happen.  Just when you thought our TC excitement couldn't get more ridiculous, we chose our Top Chef fantasy team... Read More... Posted Nov 12 2008, 03:20 PM by Lindy Parker with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: Top Chef, William Shatner, Eric Ripert

• Wake Up And Smile: What Do We Do Now?

  Well, everyone, history has finally swept through our lives like the wind through our national tree, leaving us, well, exhausted, for one thing. Also: bereft. What the heck are we supposed to write about now? Are they even gonna keep doing SNL now that Sarah Palin's just the hottest governor in the union? Well, guess we better milk this cow one final time while we can, so click on through for behind-the-scenes notes on coverage of last night's historic coverage on CNN and Comedy Central, how a noted SNL vet fared is faring in his bid for the Senate, and one final way to squeeze William Shatner into this whole blasted affair. Read More... Posted Nov 05 2008, 09:26 AM by Bryan Christian with | with no comments Filed under: Anderson Cooper, CNN, Campaign 2008, Barack Obama, William Shatner, holograms, Will.i.am

• The Weekly Rewind: Seriously, Is This Election Over Yet?

  Nope, not yet! TV's still all about politics -- and, on the other hand, distracting ourselves from politics -- as we'll find out when we recall the highlights of the week. We watched hot Sarah Palin on SNL, and she was funnier than the average guest host. Coming soon: Ellen Show dancer Barack Obama. Too bad one of these two will be elected soon -- we smell comedy team! (Don't forget to add this guy.) Opie Cunningham came back through time from 30-plus years ago! (To, um, tell us how to vote today.) We watched the season premiere of 30 Rock -- before it aired on TV! The Internet is cool. We heard that someone still doesn't like the looks of Dancing With the Stars' Cheryl Burke. Someone crazy. Read More... Posted Oct 24 2008, 05:30 PM by Ben Kallen with | with no comments Filed under: Lost, Lindsay Lohan, The Office, Barack Obama, Happy Days, The View, How I Met Your Mother, Heidi Montag, The Hills, Dexter, Fringe, CSI, Knight Rider, George Takei, Star Trek, Dancing with the Stars, Mad Men, AMC, Saturday Night Live, Tina Fey, William Shatner, Scrubs, House, 30 Rock, Ugly Betty, Lance Bass, Gray's Anatomy, George W. Bush, Sarah Palin, Sarah Chalke, Cheryl Burke, 50 Cent, Joey Fatone, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Ron Howard, The Andy Griffith Show, Lauren Lee Smith, Fight Club

• Wake Up And Smile: Will Ferrell Reminds Everyone How Great His Bush Is

  PLUS: the make-your-own-Muppet tool that isn't, the Lostie that's showing up on Chuck, the special guest stars that will get murdered on all those CBS crime shows this November sweeps -- and the Spike Jonze Gap ad that was too weird to be used. Read More... Posted Oct 24 2008, 09:26 AM by Bryan Christian with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: Commercials, CSI, George Takei, The Muppet Show, Saturday Night Live, William Shatner, Chuck, sesame street, Will Ferrell, The Muppets, George W. Bush, Melinda Clarke, CSI: MIami, Jason Sudeikis, Lucy Lawless, Spike Jonze, Eric Braeden, The Gap

• God Love Him, Shatner Is Apparently Some Sort Of Huge Dick

  So, apparently, William Shatner thinks that George Takei is crazy for not inviting him to his big gay wedding, even though it was years ago that Shatner was a jerk to him for the better part of 40 years, and also even though from the looks of it, they might have already been in one together on The Original Series. Look at how beautiful Space Mopsy looks on this special day! Well, anyway, Shatner's so steamed about this whole turn of events that he wanted to the world to know. So he taped an interview with E! and said what he had to say and it turns out he's probably as much of a jerk as Takei thinks he is. Click through for the proof! Read More... Posted Oct 22 2008, 02:26 PM by Bryan Christian with | with no comments Filed under: gay marriage, George Takei, William Shatner

• The Weekly Rewind: Playing Politics

  When did the political process turn into the world's biggest reality show? Now the candidates have become so much a part of our daily entertainment, they might as well be on The Hills. We'll look back at them and much, much more, as we review the many highlights of the week. We tried to figure out what makes David Spade such a stud with women, but couldn't do it. We tried to warn 90210 star Shenae Grimes about what happened to former 90210 star Shannen Doherty. And hoped Donnie Wahlberg wouldn't turn into Tara Reid. We imagined a Kanye West puppet show. We watched as Robot Chicken spoofed Heroes. Then we watched Heroes, and wondered why Dr. Suresh reminded us of Jeff Goldblum. We saw what would happen if William Shatner fought himself, and if Mr. Spock faced Dr. Spock. But when the old 90210 fought the new 90210, it was no contest. Read More... Posted Sep 26 2008, 05:50 PM by Ben Kallen with | with no comments Filed under: Lost, Katie Couric, reality TV, reality television, Jon Stewart, 90210, Barack Obama, Tara Reid, Stephen Colbert, John McCain, David Letterman, Mad Men, Jeff Goldblum, Clay Aiken, Shannen Doherty, William Shatner, Bill Clinton, Heroes, Leonard Nimoy, Jimmy Kimmel, Will Ferrell, Robot Chicken, Emmy Awards, Christina Hendricks, Late Show With David Letterman, The West Wing, George W. Bush, Sarah Palin, Kanye West, Shenae Grimes, Salma Hayek, Josh Groban, Chris Rock, Kirk Cameron, David Cook, David Spade, Donnie Wahlberg

• Imaginary TV Fights: Shatner vs. Shatner vs. Shatner

  Sure, this weekend's Emmys got us all thinking about nice stuff like the rewards of a job well done, the power of television as a communication medium, and Tina Fey cleaned up real purty. But we know what you were really thinking about. You were wondering Jon Hamm couldn't have tackled Bryan Cranston and taken the award for himself. You were wondering why Neil Patrick Harris hasn't challenged Jeremy Piven to a duel. You wanted Kyra Sedgwick and Holly Hunter to shove Glenn Close out of the way and decide this like animals. We did too! Which is why we are now inaugurating a new feature on The Remote Island: Imaginary TV Fights. Fights that we all know could happen -- should happen -- on our televisions, but somehow never will. Maybe we can't get real-life actors to battle it out, but darned if we can't determine which of their characters would reign supreme in a full contact deathmatch. (You can't argue with science!) Our guide through this Alternate History Channel will be Jake Kalish, raconteur and cryptopopculturalist, whose book Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights is helping worldwide to settle the question "Who'd win?" Han Solo or Indiana Jones? Muhammed Ali or Bruce Lee? Voltaire or Voltron? We contacted Kalish in his palatial Aspen estate and asked him to consider the many untapped wells of violence and domincation that exist throughout TV history, and identify a few of the most intriguing ones. Here is the first: the many sides of William Shatner duking it out in a threeway battle of the stars! (Well, "star," anyway.) Read More... Posted Sep 23 2008, 12:25 PM by Bryan Christian with | with no comments Filed under: William Shatner, Boston Legal, Imaginary Fights, Star Trek: The Original Series, T.J. Hooker, Jake Kalish

• How Rude! Bob Saget Roast Full of Olsen-Twin Sex Jokes

  Anyone who's seen The Aristocrats knows that former Full House star and America's Funniest Home Videos host Bob Saget is hiding a dirty, dirty mind under that wholesome-seeming exterior. So it's no big surprise that Comedy Central's recent roast of the guy, which airs on Aug. 17, was as loaded with dirty jokes as the previous ones for celebrities such as William Shatner and Pam Anderson. What he wasn't prepared for, apparently, were all the sex jokes about young Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, whom he's been protective of ever since they co-played his Full House daughter Michelle when they were infants. Even roastmaster John "Uncle Jesse" Stamos joined in on the molestation-gag action -- saying, "The whole time Bob and I were doing Full House, he was also hosting America's Funniest Home Videos. His entire job consisted of saying 'Take a look at this,' which is what he used to say to Mary-Kate in her dressing room." (Stamos later said that he thought some of the jokes had "crossed the line.") Read More... Posted Aug 06 2008, 03:25 PM by Ben Kallen with | with no comments Filed under: Full House, Comedy Central, tommy lee, How I Met Your Mother, Mary-Kate Olsen, Ashley Olsen, William Shatner, Bob Saget, Jeffrey Ross, Comedy Central Roast, John Stamos, Pam Anderson, America's Funniest Home Videos

• Sigh... Andy Dick Is in Trouble Again

  Andy Dick, the comedian who's become as well-known for substance abuse and bad behavior as for his work on The Ben Stiller Show and NewsRadio, has been arrested. Again. Dick was detained early this morning outside a restaurant in Murrieta, California (a community about 60 miles southeast of Los Angeles), where he allegedly was intoxicated and pulled down the top of a 17-year-old girl. He was also allegedly carrying a small amount of drugs. Here are the sad, unsettling details from a police report:   Read More... Posted Jul 16 2008, 03:15 PM by Ben Kallen with | with no comments Filed under: Comedy Central, Andy Dick, William Shatner, The Ben Stiller Show, NewsRadio

• Chris Isaak, William Shatner Shows Coming to Bio Channel

  The Biography Channel -- now shortened and hipped-up to just "Bio" -- has signed neo-rockabilly crooner and occasional actor Chris Isaak to do a new show. The Chris Isaak Hour will have a talk/music/variety format, featuring performances by a wide variety of guests. This is good news, especially for those who remember The Chris Isaak Show on Showtime a few years ago. Featuring the casually charming Isaak and members of his actual band, the show was sort of a gentler Seinfeld, presenting a comedically exaggerated version of the musician's life in San Francisco. Unfortunately, after a brief set of reruns on VH1, The Chris Isaak Show hasn't been seen in years. There's no DVD version, and it's not available on the Internet. (Assuming the music rights aren't prohibitively expensive, we think Showtime should get to work on a DVD set right away.) Bio is also announcing an August 10 premiere date for its long-awaited William Shatner talk show, Shatner's Raw Nerve.   Read More... Posted Jul 11 2008, 09:31 AM by Ben Kallen with | with no comments Filed under: Jon Voight, William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, Judge Judy, Valerie Bertinelli, Chris Isaak, Kelsey Grammer, Bio, Jimmy Kimmel, Jenna Jameson

• Celebrate Independence Day With Some TV Marathons

  Yes, the Fourth of July is about parades and cookouts and fireworks. But you can't stay outside all the time... it's hot out there!   Luckily, certain cable networks realize this, so they're playing marathons of your favorite (and not-so-favorite) shows from morning till night. Here's what you could watch all day long, if you really had a hankerin' to:   Read More... Posted Jul 04 2008, 08:32 AM by Ben Kallen with | with no comments Filed under: MTV, USA Network, Fox, America's Next Top Model, King of the Hill, JAG, FX, Law & Order: Criminal Intent, the 4th of July, The Twilight Zone, William Shatner, TLC, Sci-Fi, NCIS, TNT, What Not To Wear