The Remote Island

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  • Nostradamus Never Said Nothin' About The Snuggie

    OK, so hard as it was, we tore ourselves away from last night's Battlestar Galactica marathon -- OMG OMG OMG! -- and watched History Channel's Nostradamus: 2012, an exploration of the noted Middle Ages seer and his supposed predictions about worldwide catastrophe in four years, which normally we'd have a, maaaaybe, mild-to-medium interest in, but we've got a good friend who's CONVINCED that 2012 is, in fact, gonna be some hardcore shit, even though how hard can it be when this? So we watched. 

    And? Well, it was mostly a bunch of horseshit. It was sort of as if the History Channel had jammed a bunch of their other documentaries on the environment, astronomy, and (wha?) history, and slapped the number 2012 on it. Imagine An Inconvienent Truth with more historical re-enactments, obnoxious music, and a little rhyming and you sort of get the idea. Not very scary stuff, unless you scared by "experts" with funny facial hair and SNOOOOZE.

    But there was one thing that did scare us senseless: The Snuggie! Have you seen this commercial? It's a CULT, we tell you! SOYLENT GREEN IS SNUGGIES!

    Click through for the video...

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  • "Jurassic Fight Club" Is the Best Show for Men in 200 Million Years

     

    Dudes, get out your chips and six-pack: The History Channel's Jurassic Fight Club, which premiered last night, is a show made just for you. Sure, if this were just a prehistoric history lesson made with Jurassic Park-style computer animation, it would be fine. But the heart of the series is something even cooler: scenes of vicious, and apparently realistic, battles for survival. Battles between dinosaurs. And depending on which ones are doing the fighting, the prize for winning is sometimes sex, while the penalty for losing is sometimes becoming dinner. Now, that's commitment!

     

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  • A Great Documentary... For Us To Poop On!

     

    Coming Monday night on the History Channel: 

    All About Dung
    "Join host Monty Halls as he investigates the historical, medical, scientific and evolutionary importance of poop on an excremental safari guaranteed to fascinate even the most squeamish of viewers. You'll be surprised by the amazing manner in which the world puts dung to use. Discover that through a 14,000-year-old human dung deposit it has been determined that humans inhabited North America 1,300 years earlier than previously thought. Climb a 100-foot mountain of bat guano in Borneo that is teeming with insect life. Travel to India and view housewarming rituals using sacred cow dung as good luck. Finally Halls drinks coffee made from poop and investigates, through their large droppings, why mammoths might have disappeared."

    Set your DVR now! (But be sure to clean it out afterward.)



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  • about the blogger

    Bloggers


    Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

    Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

    Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

    Contributors


    Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

    Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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