We can't decide how we feel about a night without a mentor. Could they really not find anyone to shepherd the contestants through the gentle pastures of itunes downloads?
Here's how it went down...
Anoop Desai -- Conversation we had with our roommate's boyfriend during this song -- Us: "The thing is, no one is really Usher, are they?" Him: "Well, except Usher." Exactly our point. Anoop actually has a decent R&B voice, and he's a pretty nice guy. He should be covering singers that are more in his weight class vocally, when he tries to jump in the ring with the heavyweights, he ends up looking like that kid in college who was always the most enthusiastic person in the karaoke bar.
Megan Corkrey -- First of all, what's the deal? Did she change her name? Are we supposed to call her Megan Joy now? Whatever. Her hair's bordering on Grey Gardens crazy. Paula thinks it would be nice to see Megan on a stool. We don't disagree necessarily, but we're more interested in seeing Megan not suck.
Danny Gokey -- These Southern people, always with the Rascal Flatts. Sigh. "Use Somebody" was your song, Danny. In the words of Simon Cowell, you could've had a moment. Paula disagrees with us -- she'd like to keep Danny in her car so she can hit repeat whenever she wants.
Allison Iraheta -- Okay, we kind of loved this performance. Really, we got the chills in the middle there. We were disappointed not to hear "Decode" for like a hot second, but then we realized that singing Paramore with pink hair would be a little gauche. The judges are HATING her outfit, and while it's not our favorite, it clearly wasn't the worst we've seen in this competition (see: Lil Rounds and the white pants of week one). Also, for some reason hearing Paula use the word "axe" made us just as uncomfortable as hearing our mom say "shit."
Scott MacIntyre -- It's clear that Scott's visual impairment is becoming a liability in this competition, largely because he can't see the crazy shit they're making him wear. He's wearing a collarless leather jacket and tight jeans. What in God's name is going on with his hair? They've done away with fuzzy, and embraced aquanet. He looks like a Golden Girl.
Matt Giraud -- It has to be said, Matt looks HOT tonight. We're not usually feeling him like this. That said, we totally knew the judges weren't going to like Matt's version of The Fray's "You Found Me" -- they don't like him to do white guy music. Actually, we enjoyed it, sort of. Especially the falsetto at the end.
Lil Rounds -- The judges have been practically begging her to do a diva song, so we get what she was going for with "I Surrender." However, no one really wants to hear Celine Dion do they? However, we did tear up when Lil's daughter climbed onto Randy's lap and hugged him. If there's a cuter child out there, we haven't seen one.
Adam Lambert -- Adam, tonight's performance was a true test of our love for you. You couldn't have picked a song we hate more than "Play That Funky Music," and yet, we were weirdly mesmerized by how amazing you are. It's the Adam Lambert show as far as we're concerned. The judges fully agree with us.
Kris Allen -- OMG, are we going to have to start liking Kris Allen in spite of ourselves? Except for the weird little chocolate milk 'stache, we did think he looked like a professional doing "Ain't No Sunshine." Whatever, Kris. Just because we're starting to feel you doesn't mean we have to like it.
Previously:
Top Five Songs We'd Like to See Performed During itunes Night on American Idol
American Idol: Don't Want to Miss a Thing
American Idol: Motown, Less Country
American Idol: Grace is Gone
American Idol: Grand Ole Opry
