The Remote Island

Rachael Ray Grabs Some Rockstar Ass

Posted by Olivia Purnell

 

Trust us, it happened.  Pagesix.com reported on it.  But we saw it go down.

The lights were low, the music was loud, the disco ball was on, and Rachael Ray was feeling a freedom on Wednesday night during her pre SXSW show at Santos Party House.  So free in fact, that Little Miss Yum-O jumped on stage with Semi Precious Weapons frontman Justin Tranter and declared, "Not only is lead singer Justin Tranter the most attractive person I've seen, but I also want his high-heeled boots!" before helping herself to a healthy handful of Justin’s Semi Precious Ass.  Color us Semi Precious Surprised; Lady Ray really latched on.  It’s a great ass, but damn girl, this isn’t Sunday brunch at Old Country Buffet. Grab your husband’s biscuits.

We hope he’s not the jealous type because SPW will be playing Rachael’s SXSW show in Austin as well.  Rachael might just put on a repeat performance, helping herself to other Semi Precious Jewels.  There’s a joke in there somewhere about Rachael making Justin her 30-minute meal, but we’re pretty sure our mom would kill us if we wrote it.

Sorry ma, but even the professionally perky need a little rock and roll now and then.

(pagesix.com), (nickydigital.com)


Previously:

Rachael Ray Wants to Rock Your World


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    Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

    Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

    Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

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