On Friday night we were all welcomed to the Dollhouse. Joss Whedon invited us in, asked us to have a seat, then proceeded to premiere the highly anticipated Dushku show it took so many painstaking months to produce.
We were of the few to take Joss up on his offer (Remote Jake ponders dismal Dollhouse ratings here) and we realized pretty quickly that there are some problems with Dollhouse.
Curious as to what could be so bad? Top 3 Dollhouse problems and solutions after the jump.
1. No one on this show is likeable. The Dolls (Dushku included) are personality-less automatons wiped clean of conscious, interests, and free will. The Doll handlers are morally corrupt slave traders who specialize in human trafficking and using the Dolls to complete whatever mission the clients pay for. We’re already a little . . . shall we say, cranky about the fact that we’re home watching TV on a Friday night eating M&Ms and popcorn by the fistful, at least give us someone to relate to. Damn.
2. Lack of fight scenes. There was one fight between the kickboxing douchebag cop and some guy with tattoos. Not exciting. Where were the Buffy-esque smack downs? Weren’t girl fights alluded to HERE? We feel a little betrayed.
3. Bait and switch? The name Dollhouse is cute and all, but we could have gone with Brothel and saved ourselves some double entendre. The underlying element of prostitution in this show is kind of revolting and sad. It’s hard to stomach a Friday night hooker show when we were hoping for ass-kicking Dushku magic.
Joss, homie, we'd like to offer you some quick and easy Dollhouse solutions. Free of charge! (This time).
Here goes:
1. Give Eliza Dushku a personality.
2. Make Dushku kick somebody in the face.
3. Stop the doll hooking. It’s gross.
Easy, breezy. Right?
Previously:
"Dollhouse" What Were People Doing Instead of Watching
Eliza Dushku Gets Naked For "Dollhouse"
"Dollhouse" And "Terminator" Get Gritty