The Remote Island

"Hulk Hogan's Championship Wrestling": We Think We're Alone Now

Posted by Jake Kalish

Just when we thought washed-up celebrities had gone as far as humanly possible in humiliating themselves in a desperate attempt for us to pay attention to them, this past week saw the premiere on Country Music Television of Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Wrestling and we were horrified, disgusted, and exhilerated all at the same time. We watched until Dennis Rodman pinned Dustin "Screech" Diamond(!), and then we had to turn off the television and take showers. We swear, we will never, ever tune in again Saturdays at 8 p.m. Eastern again, not even when Danny Bonaduce takes on Todd Bridges(!!!).

(Although, hey, we're not responsible for what our Tivo does. Or what happens late at night, when there doesn't seem to be anyone around. Which reminds us: Tiffany, we got a c-note on you going all the way, honey, so let's see some hustle out there!)

-- Jake Kalish is the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights


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About Jake Kalish

Jake Kalish is the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights http://www.amazon.com/Santa-vs-Satan-Compendium-Imaginary/dp/0307406709/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1208807460&sr=8-1

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    Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

    Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

    Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

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    Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

    Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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