"So I says to the guy, I says "Jesus, buddy, I don't care how you got up there, just get outta my face while I'm trying to destroy the world here." Right? Am I right?
Time for another installment of our Heroes recaps with Jake Kalish, author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights. This week: Sylar flirts with being a good guy, Hiro goes to the movies, and Parkman needs some sunscreen.
I understand that traditionally, second episodes can be a lot of setup and very little payoff, especially in a plot-heavy series with double digit storylines. But, watching this show, it occurred to me that what they really need is a hero with the superpower of television writing, and quickly. Calling David Simon Man!
The confusion begins with Nathan Petrelli, now the junior senator from New York, pacing in his office, meeting Ali Larter/Tracy Strauss who totally doesn't remember having sex with him, even though it's on videotape. So awkward. Oh, wait; that's because she's not Niki Sanders – who, of course, wasn't herself then either, being her amoral alter ego Jessica.
Lesson: No one wants to admit to screwing Nathan Petrelli. Poor Adrian Pasdar. What, too swarthy?
Meanwhile, we learn Nathan's mom Angela gave up Sylar for adoption. Ah, that's what made him an evil murderer. Way to encourage adoptions. The bro Nathan knows about, Peter (well, the present-day version) is stuck in this criminal Jesse's body, and has to go along with the five other “Villains” as they go to rob a bank. A regular old bank heist? For 21st century supervillains? The whole thing seems a little too retro, like any second one of 'em will start screaming “Attica!” Adoptive parent HRG has to go get these villains – but, by orders of Ms. Petrelli, he'll do it with his new partner Sylar, while Claire sits at home with her fiery biological mom. These adoptive/biological storylines feel like a very special episode of Maury - “behind that door is the mother you never knew – and she's got superpowers!” But this is the Season 2 theme: “Save Ourselves, Save The World.” Somehow, by searching within, they'll get the bad guys. It's awful self-helpy, and it brings up a question:
Question: Is the search for self truly a heroic journey? Discuss.
Anyway, this partnership means Sylar is at least a good-ish guy now, which is as disorienting to me as when Macho Man Savage stopped being a heel. The commercial break can't come too soon, and I switch to CNN to see Ben “Bueller” Stein on Larry King, pontificating about the failed bailout and the market's 777-point drop.
Weakness: Technopathist Micah Sanders should have worked his magic on them stock tickers, saved America a trillion dollars.
Back to NBC. Hiro and Ando are still trying to get the formula back from the speedster, but she's already sold it to the Haitian. Boring-ass, sunburned Parkman is in the African desert, doing something called a Spirit Walk – then he sees paintings of his life on some rocks, done by his spirit guide, who's apparently had to spend a good portion of his life looking into Matt Parkman's future. That's a shitty deal for a spirit guide. Regardless, this is a season 1 storyline, but in a different climate, with different materials. Maybe season 3 will have a collage of the future? Some papier mache?
Suddenly, one of the villainous bank robbers realizes evil Jesse isn't really evil Jesse, and I'm amazed someone knows what the hell is going on. But of course, the smart bank robber was played by Jamie Hector from The Wire, and he might not be able to play dumb.
Superpower: The Heroes writers have the ability to confuse everyone – characters, viewers, even themselves
Superpower: ... except for Marlo Stanfield.
But hey, things start to make a hell of a lot more sense when future Peter Petrelli shows up to argue with present Peter Petrelli, and release him from Jesse's body. Lots of acting by Milo Ventimiglia, that scene's definitely going on his demo reel. I'm lost and restless, and have to ask: where the hell is foxy Maya? Generally sensible HRG tries to break up the bank robbery, an uncharacteristically dopey plan, and he's about to get offed when unstable partner Sylar shows and starts wrecking shit. Lethal Weapon with superpowers, anyone? Similarities end when Sylar lets Marlo get away in order to slice open evil Jesse's head. Meanwhile, Claire's biological mom lets her play hooky to try to become a hero, and winds up teaching her daughter a life lesson by making her think she's going to suffocate. “You gotta learn to save yourself before you can save the world.” Got it, Dr. Phil.
Ali Larter/Tracy Strauss is also having some self-help problems, what with having a doppelganger she never knew about. She goes to visit Micah Sanders in New Orleans, and though he immediately realizes the woman who looks exactly like his mother is not his mother (what is it with these people?) he does use his superhacking mind to find out that Tracy Strauss and Niki Sanders were delivered in the same hospital on the same day, by a certain Dr. Zimmerman. Tracy goes to visit the good doctor, and he says he “created” them both. HRG and Sylar get the villains they caught locked back up, and we learn that HRG plans to kill Sylar.
To Be Continued...
-- Jake Kalish
PREVIOUSLY:
"Heroes" Season Premiere: We Never Thought We Could Feel So Free
