10. Spending our days cloaked in monochromatic warm up gear and gender-neutral three piece suits
9. Receiving our instructions in inspirational mixed metaphors (i.e. "You gotta walk the yellow brick road if you wanna get to the top of the mountain!")
8. The likelihood that we might, at any given moment, find ourselves on the lap of Mos Def
7. Diddy throwing us a hundred thousand dollar Stunna Sixteen Party with Tiffany gift bags
6. Entry to the most exclusive VIP nightclubs, restaurants and concerts in the world, during which we spend the whole time typing furiously into our blackberry curves and mainlining ulcer meds
5. A break from the monotony of getting consecutive nights sleep
4. Commemorating our hire with a tattoo: "Diddy's New Ass."
3. Getting boozy with Kim Porter and writing a lurid tell-all about their sex life entitled "From Kim's Mouth to God's Ears"
2. Trying to convince private school administrators that our attendance at the Porter-Combs offspring's parent-teacher conferences isn't weird
1. Giving Diddy daily Evian sponge baths (more material for the tell-all)
I Want To Work for Diddy: Watch the Trailer! [Vh1]