The Screengrab : tracy morgan

The Last Morning Deal Report

Scott Von Doviak — Thu, 28 May 2009 14:00:00 GMT

A word of warning: just because this is our last Morning Deal Report at the Screengrab doesn’t mean Hollywood is going to stop announcing ridiculous projects. You’ll just have to find out about them somewhere else. I wish I could say we’ve saved the best for last, but we can only work with what they give us.

Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz will reunite for James Mangold’s Wichita. It is not the story of a lineman who’s still on the line. “The script has been through many machinations, but the most recent drafts were done by Scott Frank, with Mangold currently fine-tuning the script with Laeta Kalogridis (Shutter Island). Two-hander has several action scenes. Cruise will play a secret agent who pops in and out of the life of a single woman,” Variety reports.

Kevin Smith has found another pair of dicks. “Seann William Scott and Adam Brody are joining Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan in Warner Bros.' A Couple of Dicks,” Smith’s new buddy action comedy, per The Hollywood Reporter. Smith did not write the script, which is by script Robb and Mark Cullen, and “follows a maverick cop (Willis) and his partner (Morgan) who, while tracking a valuable stolen baseball card, tangle with a memorabilia-obsessed gangster and rescue a Mexican beauty who holds the key to millions in laundered drug money.”

Also, there will be another Batman movie, another Star Trek, another James Bond, and at some point, probably another King Kong remake. Save us the aisle seat!

Morning Deal Report: Julia Roberts Meets Jesus H. Christ

Scott Von Doviak — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 13:30:00 GMT

As it turned out, the answer to the question “Who watches the Watchmen” was just about everybody, as the superhero epic topped the weekend box office with $55.7 million. We’ll see how all those high-minded claims about never making a sequel hold up now. It’s a long way down to second place, where we find Madea Goes to Jail with an $8.8 million total, followed by Taken with $7.5 million.

Julia Roberts will star in Jesus Henry Christ for director Dennis Lee. The film is based on Lee's “Student Academy Award-winning short film of the same name, and follows Henry James Hermin, a boy conceived in a petri-dish and raised by a loving, left-wing feminist. At the age of 10, he decides his mother's love is not enough and begins to follow a trail of Post-It notes stuck around town hoping it will lead him to his biological father,” per The Hollywood Reporter.

Chris Rock is set to star in a remake of the 2007 British film Death at a Funeral. Martin Lawrence and Tracy Morgan will join him in the comedy that “revolves around a dysfunctional family that gathers for the patriarch’s funeral. When tensions rise and old conflicts are uncovered, a man arrives saying he’s the dead man’s gay lover and threatens blackmail,” Variety reports. Neil LaBute directs. That’s right, I said Neil LaBute directs.

Related:
Chick Hits: The Girl Power Top Ten
When Good Directors Go Bad: The Wicker Man (Neil LaBute)

Morning Deal Report: Megan Fox Goes Deep

Scott Von Doviak — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 15:00:00 GMT

Transformers star Megan Fox is taking additional steps to shore up her fan base with comic book nerds. Not only is she in negotiations to co-star with Josh Brolin in Jonah Hex, but according to The Hollywood Reporter she is also set to star in the comic book adaptation Fathom. The story “follows a young woman named Aspen who learns she is a member of a race of aquatic humanoids who possess the ability to control water.” Aquaman, eat your heart out.

Kevin Smith has two stars and a new title for his project formerly known as A Couple of Dicks. The newly titled A Couple of Cops will star Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan in Smith’s major studio debut for Warner Bros., “centered on a pair of cops who track down a stolen baseball card, rescue a Mexican beauty and must deal with gangsters and laundered drug money,” per Variety.

Christopher Nolan’s latest has a title – Inception – and a star – Leonardo DiCaprio. “Script has been kept under wraps but the studio calls it a contemporary sci-fi actioner set within the architecture of the mind.” I’ll show you the architecture of the mind!

Related:
Beyond Spike and Clint: More Filmmaker Feuds
When Good Directors Go Bad?: Insomnia (Christopher Nolan)

Trailer Review: G-Force

Paul Clark — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 17:00:00 GMT

As a longtime guinea pig owner and enthusiast, I strenuously object to this trailer. Now, don’t get me wrong- I’m happy to finally see them taking the lead in a movie. But oh please, not this one. Guinea pigs are cute and fun on their own, and don’t need sassy voices from the likes of Nicolas Cage and Tracy Jordan Morgan to lend them any extra personality. What’s more, the trailer sells this is a dumbass kiddie take on a mindless Hollywood spy yarn. In other words, producer Jerry Bruckheimer has somehow managed to go slumming here, no mean feat considering that this is the dude who was responsible for King Arthur and Bad Company. Oh, and what’s up with that last exchange? Couldn’t they at least think of some retort from the insulted animal?

Unwatchable #83: “First Sunday”

Scott Von Doviak — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 18:30:00 GMT

Our fearless – and quite possibly senseless – movie janitor is watching every movie on the IMDb Bottom 100 list. Join us now for another installment of Unwatchable.

I’m not the world’s biggest fan of writer-director-cottage industry Tyler Perry. I know he’s got a loyal following that will fill theaters every time he serves up his patented mix of sermonizing, self-help platitudes and ham-handed ensemble comedy, and I’m fine with that. It just so happens he makes the sort of movies that are the exact opposite of anything I’d find entertaining. But having said that, I would gladly sit through a triple bill of Diary of a Mad Black Woman, Daddy’s Little Girls and Why Did I Get Married? if it meant I would never have to see First Sunday again.

You know Perry has truly arrived when the cheap imitations of his work start showing up, and that’s what we have here, despite an ad campaign designed to trick the slow-witted into thinking First Sunday is the latest installment in Ice Cube’s Friday series. In a way, that’s not fair to writer-director David E. Talbert, whose work in African-American theater on such plays as The Fabric of a Man and He Say…She Say…But What Does GOD Say? actually predates Perry’s career. But it’s clear that the success of Perry’s movies opened the door for more of these inspirational urban comedies.

Mr. Cube (as the New York Times calls him) and Tracy Morgan play two goofballs from the Baltimore ’hood who can’t seem to hold down a job or stay out of trouble with the law. The first few scenes are so rushed and technically inept that it’s hard to be sure, but it appears that Cube and Morgan get involved in a scam to sell stolen wheelchairs on behalf of some Jamaican gangsters, then get caught and sentenced to 5000 hours of community service. (Even Bubbles from The Wire wouldn’t bother with these jackasses.) This is the last straw for Cube’s baby-momma Omunique (Regina Hall). Unless the Ice Man comes up with $17,000 to finance her beauty shop, she’s moving to Atlanta with their son.

There’s only one obvious solution to this dilemma, which is, of course, to rob a church. Unfortunately, Cube and Morgan undertake this task while a meeting is in progress, and soon find themselves holding pews full of kindly church ladies hostage. At this point, lame slapstick comedy is replaced by preachy tedium as the befuddled pastor (Chi McBride) and his flock go to work on these two miscreants. The only point of interest is the flamboyant choir director played by Katt Williams, who walks a fine line between mincing gay stereotype and recently arrived space alien. Another way to differentiate Talbert’s film from the Friday series: the chances of a Next Sunday would appear remote.

Previously on Unwatchable:
84. It’s Pat
85. Battlefield Earth
86. Hobgoblins
87. The Sidehackers
88. College Road Trip (pending)

DVD Digest for May 6, 2008

Paul Clark — Tue, 06 May 2008 14:00:00 GMT

This week: One of the most acclaimed films of 2007 arrives to do battle with some of the most reviled releases so far in 2008. Who will prevail? Read on…

DVD of the Week: No one does musical biography like Todd Haynes. This should have been clear from his previous films Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story and Velvet Goldmine, and his latest film, I’m Not There, lays any remaining doubts to rest. But then, when one is making a movie about Bob Dylan, how could it possibly fit into a neat little package? The Weinstein Company’s two-disc DVD of the film contains a wide variety of features, including a commentary track with Haynes, two deleted scenes, some audition tapes, a handful of documentaries, and a tribute to Heath Ledger. But most of all, there’s the film itself- I’m Not There is sometimes wondrous, sometimes frustrating, but always worthy of its subject, and this DVD should find a place in the collections of cinephiles and Dylan fans alike.

Alas, the other new arrivals on DVD aren’t nearly that noteworthy, sometimes aggressively counteracting the awesomeness of I’m Not There with their wholesale suckitude. More typical of this week’s crop is the universally detested The Hottie and the Nottie (Genius Products- how’s that for irony?), the latest attempt by its star- who I refuse to name here- to achieve total media domination. Also this week: Ice Cube and Tracy Jordan Morgan in First Sunday (Sony, also Blu-Ray); Hilary Swank in P.S. I Love You (Warner, also Blu-Ray); the long-awaited Eva Longoria Parker vehicle Over Her Dead Body (New Line); and 2006 TIFF Audience Award Winner Bella (Lions Gate). Also, this week brings the release of the heartwarming family-themed vagina dentata comedy Teeth, as well as Sony’s first step into the Bollywood market, Saawariya (also Blu-Ray). But while a few of these are worth seeing, I’d have to say this was probably the easiest week to pick a DVD of the Week in quite a while.

A few new editions of some already-on-DVD titles will be hitting stores this week as well, including: The Bridges of Madison County Deluxe Edition (Warner); Serial Mom Collector’s Edition (Focus); and a two-disc special edition of Twister (Warner, also Blu-Ray). Finally, this week’s sole Blu-Ray only release is the 2004 remake of Shall We Dance?

Sorry folks, that’s all I’ve got. Next week promises to bring more DVD goodness. Not a moment too soon, I say.

Location, Location, Location: Baltimore

Scott Von Doviak — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 19:30:00 GMT

Hooker on the corner, waiting on a train
Drunk lyin’ on the sidewalk, sleepin’ in the rain

That’s the picture Randy Newman painted in his 1977 song “Baltimore,” and it hasn’t gotten much better for Charm City since then – at least, not as far as its portrayal in the popular culture is concerned. Nowadays the city is best known as the setting of The Wire, this week’s season premiere of which was greeted with the customary round of “greatest TV show ever” reviews, as well as the usual grumbling from residents that the program tends not to portray their home as a nice place to visit, live or even think about.

To add insult to injury, the wasteland that is the January movie release schedule today serves up the execrable First Sunday, a Tyler Perry knockoff starring Ice Cube and Tracy Morgan as a couple of B-more bad boys who decide to rob a church stocked with dismaying stereotypes.

It’s not so much that Baltimore has never been treated right by the movies – it’s that it’s rarely been treated at all. If Barry Levinson and John Waters had gone into accounting or narcotics distribution, we might never have seen the city on the screen, but instead they have both used Baltimore as their respective canvases, to very different effect.

Levinson’s Baltimore is primarily nostalgic and gentle; there’s not a whole lot of slingin’ on the corners of Liberty Heights or Avalon. Instead, it’s “a little place where people gather to enjoy the banquet of life”:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxjL0Ifd6gI

That’s a little more Chamber of Commerce friendly than The Wire, and although Levinson doesn’t shy away from the sticky issue of race relations in his hometown, it’s hard to imagine Marlo or Snoop finding much to identify with in this clip from Liberty Heights:

John Waters also took a nostalgic look at Baltimore’s racial divide in Hairspray, but that’s about the only point of comparison between the two directors’ depictions of the city. Not many things could scare the corner boys of The Wire, but here’s a sight that could do it:

So you can see why it’s been hard for the good citizens of Baltimore to hold onto their dignity when all the world thinks their city is nothing but a teeming cesspool of run-down row houses, drug dealers and oversized drag clowns with slabs of meat clenched between their thighs. But cheer up, Baltimore! Somebody loves you: