The Screengrab : the family that preys

DVD Digest for January 13, 2008

Paul Clark — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 15:00:00 GMT

This week, Criterion and Eclipse’s salute to the late films of an Italian master takes the top spot, opposite a handful of notable classics and a bunch of recent junk.

DVD of the Week: Having finished yet another holiday season, most of Hollywood’s high-profile recent releases aren’t due on DVD for another few months yet. In other words, it’s the perfect opportunity for Criterion to roll out some of their most interesting work yet. Case in point is this week’s release of several of Roberto Rossellini’s historical films. The most noteworthy of the bunch is his film The Taking of Power by Louis XIV (Criterion), which invests the “historical drama” genre with Rossellini’s trademark realism, turning the genre on its ear by refusing to succumb to its usual picturesque tendencies. In conjunction with this release, Criterion’s sister company has created the box set Eclipse Series 14: Rossellini’s History Films- Renaissance and Enlightenment, which contains three more of Rossellini’s historical films, including The Age of the Medici, Cartesius, and Blaise Pascal, which our own Vadim Rizov praised here a few months ago. In the middle of an Oscar season dominated by biopics and period films, the Rossellini DVD should provide a reprieve from the usual bloated reverence.

The most notable recent release coming to DVD this week is the Ed Harris-directed oater Appaloosa (Warner, also Blu-Ray). Also this week: Kevin Costner in Swing Vote (Disney, also Blu-Ray); Dane Cook and Kate Hudson in My Best Friend’s Girl (Lionsgate, also Blu-Ray); Keifer Sutherland in Mirrors (Fox, also Blu-Ray); Tyler Perry’s The Family That Preys (Lionsgate); the India-set drama Brick Lane (Sony); and the Evelyn Waugh adaptation Brideshead Revisited (Disney).

In the classics department, this week sees the release of Eagle Pennell’s seminal proto-indie The Whole Shootin’ Match (Koch Entertainment Distribution). Also this week are two more Paramount Centennial Collection DVDs both starring Audrey Hepburn, Breakfast at Tiffany’s and Funny Face.

Finally this week’s TV on DVD releases include: Reba Season 5 (Fox) and ’Til Death Complete Second Season (Sony).

2008 in Review: Scott Von Doviak's Top 10 Unwatchables of the Year

Scott Von Doviak — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 18:00:00 GMT

As your resident movie janitor, I could hardly wrap up the year without a rundown of 2008's greatest crimes against cinema. As always, I see them so you don't have to.

10. STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS

I have little to add to my earlier rant. The sad thing is, there are still a few George Lucas zombies willing to defend this star dreck.

9. STEP UP 2 THE STREETS

A movie that raises many questions, not least of which is: “There was a Step Up 1?” A teenage street dancer (Briana Evigan, the next Demi Moore, if we needed one) is forced to enroll in an upscale school for the performing arts, leaving her old crew to accuse her of NOT KEEPING IT REELZ. This can only be settled with a dance-off! A thoroughly unconvincing dance-off that looks like an outtake from Night of the Living Dead: The Musical.

8. MAX PAYNE

Here we have a ludicrous new film genre (coincidentally featuring Ludacris): the videogame noir. Based on a first-person shooter game that was influenced by Hong Kong action movies and the "bullet time" effects of The Matrix, Max Payne is at least three steps removed from any semblance of originality. It boasts a stylish surface, but there's nothing new beneath it.

7. THE RUINS

Reviewed here at the time of its release. At least, it was in theaters when I started writing the review; I think it had been pulled by the time I posted it. A gripping, intense read becomes a dead teenager movie with laughable CG effects.

6.TYLER PERRY'S THE FAMILY THAT PREYS

Within the first five minutes of The Family That Preys, four different characters utter some variation on the line, "I need a drink." By the end of this latest Tyler Perry opus, I could definitely relate. Family is a mean-spirited endurance test populated by some of the most unpleasant movie characters in recent history. Perry prides himself on leaving out the sex and violence and making movies the whole family can enjoy. It's hard to imagine families enjoying this one, though; they're more likely to be traumatized when they aren't bored out of their minds.

5. FIRST SUNDAY

So bad that I’ve already covered it here as part of the Unwatchable series. Nuff said.

4. FOUR CHRISTMASES

Here's a movie that spends an hour showing how unpleasant family can be and how grotesque small children are before doing a complete U-turn into sickening sentimentality and hypocritical moralizing. Director Seth Gordon, who made last year's terrific documentary The King of Kong, turns out to be just another sitcom hack. Witherspoon is so chirpy and strident, it's not clear that anyone told her this was supposed to be a comedy. To say that Vaughn is phoning it in these days would be an insult to telecommuters everywhere. Four Christmases with this bunch is four too many.

3. PRIDE AND GLORY

There's nothing wrong with a gritty cop drama, so long as it has something to offer besides grit. Pride and Glory provides murky images, shaky camerawork, a muddy soundtrack, blood by the buckets and profanity by the bushel. It's easy to see why director Gavin O'Connor buried his movie under all this sludge; scrape it away and there's nothing but the most generic "bad cop" movie possible underneath.

2. TRAITOR

Don Cheadle is the world's most boring Muslim - but at least he's not evil like all the other ones! There's very little suspense in this dull, talky thriller, but there is a laughable twist ending for the ages.

1. THE LOVE GURU

Everything you’ve heard is true. This isn’t a case of mass hypnosis or the critical brotherhood sticking together – it really is that bad. Mike Myers described this comedy about a self-help guru’s attempts to help a hockey player win a championship as “a delivery system for some wonderful ideas.” Actually, it’s a delivery system for dick jokes, each one dumber than the last.

Unwatchable #65: “Meet the Browns”

Scott Von Doviak — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Our fearless – and quite possibly senseless – movie janitor is watching every movie on the IMDb Bottom 100 list. Join us now for another installment of Unwatchable.

First, let me apologize for the long layoff between Unwatchable entries. I deserve some of the blame, as does Netflix, but mostly I’d like to blame Tyler Perry. In my capacity as a film critic for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, I have been assigned to review several of Perry’s movies. Since Perry never screens his stuff for critics, this generally entails catching the first show on opening day and quickly turning around a review, which is a pain in the ass – but then, so is sitting through a Tyler Perry movie in the first place. When Meet the Browns came out earlier this year, I held my breath waiting for the assignment, but this time I dodged the bullet. Until now, that is. I’d blame cruel fate, but I think we all realize by now that I’ve brought this upon myself.

When Meet the Browns appeared at #65 on the IMDb Bottom 100 list, I dutifully clicked over to Netflix and put it at the top of my queue. It arrived a couple of weeks ago, and after seven or eight stiff drinks, I popped it into the DVD player. What appeared on my television was not the 2008 theatrical release Meet the Browns, however; rather, it was a 2004 stage production of same, shot on shoddy video and released straight to DVD. “Netflix,” I says, “you sent me the wrong Meet the Browns. Send me the right one.” And then I wait and I wait and it never shows up. “Netflix,” I says, “the Unwatchable faithful are waiting! Where the hell is Meet the Browns?” So they send another copy and it finally arrives and now here I am. So let’s just get it over with.

Single mother Brenda Brown (Angela Bassett) is struggling to raise her three children in the projects of Chicago. When the factory that employs her closes down and the electric company shuts off the lights, things are looking bleak. Bus tickets to Georgia arrive in the mail; it seems Brenda’s father, whom she never met, has passed away. She and the kids, including oldest son Mike, a basketball phenom, go down for the funeral and meet the extended, wacky Brown family as well as neighbor and basketball scout Harry (Rick Fox).

Harry sees great potential in Mike, but Brenda is mistrustful of him, and men in general, mainly because Mike’s daddy is a non-child-support-paying jackass. When Brenda’s father’s will is read, it turns out that she has inherited a dilapidated house he used as a rental property. Will Brenda and the kids stay in Georgia surrounded by her crazy relatives or return to the Chicago projects where she has no job and no prospects. It’s a head-scratcher!

Basically what we have here is another bowl of Tyler Perry’s usual tepid gumbo of sermonizing, self-help platitudes and ham-handed ensemble comedy. I hate to come down too hard on a grassroots filmmaker catering to an underserved audience, but watching his movies, I get the impression that Perry’s holy trinity is Jesus, Oprah and Good Times, and he doesn’t seem to notice when the pieces don’t fit together. It’s a jarring transition from the chitlin-circuit antics of David Mann in his Bozo the Pimp outfits to the would-be wrenching social commentary about absent fathers. And let us not even speak of Perry's obligatory yet inexplicable cross-dressing cameo as Madea.

I can say that Meet the Browns is the best Tyler Perry movie I’ve seen, mainly thanks to the heartfelt performance by Angela Bassett, who elevates the proceedings above the likes of Why Did I Get Married? or The Family That Preys. That’s not the same thing as saying it’s any good, though.

Previously on Unwatchable:
66. Jail Bait
67. Nine Lives
68. Kazaam
69. The Perfect Holiday (pending)
70. Epic Movie

Morning Deal Report: Burning Diesel and Kerosene

Scott Von Doviak — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:30:00 GMT

The Coen Brothers have visited some strange places with their movies, but the top of the weekend box office charts may be the most unexpected of all. Yet there’s Burn After Reading, edging out Tyler Perry’s latest grotesquerie for the top spot with $19.4 million. I thought it was minor Coen myself, but that’s a discussion for another day. The Perry faithful turned out for the odious The Family That Preys to the tune of $18 million, and enough folks were curious to see De Niro and Pacino Together Again For The First Time to nudge Righteous Kill into third place with $16.5 million. Women did not turn out for The Women, which barely cracked the $10 million mark.

From the You’ve Gotta Be Shitting Me file comes news that another XXX sequel is in the works. Columbia Pictures is “in discussions with producer Joe Roth for a new version of XXX, one that would bring back Vin Diesel as star and Rob Cohen as director.” As you may recall, the last XXX sequel actually starred Ice Cube, but apparently Diesel’s pricetag has gone down. Then there’s this tidbit from Variety: “Diesel also bowed out of a starring role in the first sequel to The Fast and the Furious — 2 Fast 2 Furious — opting for a cameo in that pic. He skipped the third pic, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, but will reteam with original co-star Paul Walker in the franchise’s fourth go-round, Fast & Furious, which Universal will release June 12.” If there’s a fifth movie, they’ll just call it Fastious.

The Kerosene Cowboys are set to ride for director Mario Van Peebles. “Based on a novel by Randy Arrington, the tale follows the rough-riding and hard-living pilots of an elite Navy attack squadron,” says The Hollywood Reporter. Cam Gigandet, Shane West and Rachael Leigh Cook are set to star. I’ve never heard of two of those people, but I’m just passing the info along to those of you who have.

Related:
Hair Today, Coen Tomorrow
Freddy and the Furious Go to Cloverfield

Screengrab Review: "The Family That Preys"

Leonard Pierce — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 19:15:00 GMT

The operant notion amongst the publicists of my acquaintance lately -- and God bless them, every one -- seems to be: let's send Leonard screeners of movies to which he is not even remotely in the target demographic. Of course, I can't say exactly who the target demographic is for Sukiyaki Western Django. Martians, probably. I have a slightly better idea who the target demographic is for Tyler Perry's latest outing, The Family That Preys, and I'm damn sure it doesn't include me. And yet here we are! On the theory that someone has to review these things -- a theory that I'm not entirely convinced I agree with -- the job has fallen to me, and I will do the best I can possibly do under circumstances that would be a lot more trying if God hadn't invented the martini.

The plot of this one, such as it is, involves Alfre Woodard and Kathy Bates (for whom I briefly felt sorry for having to appear in this toxic waste dump, until I realized it would probably buy them both a new summer house), playing old friends who are faced with various family dramas, traumas, and scandals. In order to clear the air, get away from their allegedly comical families, and rebuild their friendships, they take a cross-country road trip of the sort that we haven't seen since Gone Fishin'. Of course, this makes it sound like the movie isn't just about Tyler Perry dressing up in a crazy outfit and acting wacky, which it is. There's no Madea in this one, but that doesn't stop Perry from hamming it up like gangbusters, upstaging people I've never heard of named KaDee Strickland and Rockmond Dunbar.

I certainly won't be the first person to say that these movies are essentially critic-proof; Tyler Perry isn't so much a filmmaker as he is a sort of institutional-grade entertainment producer, and time spent applying any kind of critical framework to his movies is as well-used as time spent complaining about the appetizer menu at Whataburger. If you're not the sort of person who sees Tyler Perry movies, you certainly shouldn't see this one, seeing as it's awful and all. But if you are, you probably didn't read this far anyway.

Screengrab Review: Surfer, Dude