The Screengrab : russell crowe

Fat Actor Watch at New York Times: Paper of Record Alleges That When Russell Crowe Sits Around the House, He Really Sits Around the House

Phil Nugent — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 15:00:00 GMT

Always looking for a fresh angle on the really important movie news of the day, Michael Cieply uses his perch at Thew New York Times to ask" what's with all the male movie stars who are porkers? Who does he have in mind, exactly? Russell Crowe and Jeff Daniels, sharing a screen in State of Play ("Two men. One notebook. Four chins."); Denzel Washington, going "cheek-to-jowl with the bulky John Travolta" in the trailer for the remake of The Taking of Pelham One Two Three; Hugh Grant; and "Even Leonardo DiCaprio, the young heartthrob from Titanic"--Photos from the set of Shutter Island, a thriller on tap from Paramount Pictures and the director Martin Scorsese in October, show a little bit more to love." Oh, snap! Are they handing out chocolate bunnies to whoever can be the biggest bitch at the Times these days?

Cieply briefly notes that there's a gender-based double standard regarding the weight and age rules in Hollywood so far as leading players are concerned, but after dropping Kathleen Turner's name, he seems to feel that he's discharged his duty, as if the subject bored even him. He seems more taken with the idea that this is an utterly new phenomenon, but despite the historical examples he digs up, that may be a non-starter. "Photos of midcentury stars — Humphrey Bogart, James Stewart, Clark Gable and others — show them to have remained rather gaunt at an age when many of the current crop are anything but." Good thing those photos are handy, since it's not as if movie actors left behind filmed records of their performances so we'd be able to remind themselves what they looked like. That said, it seems a little callous to drag Bogart, one of the best-known victims of cancer sticks ever to go down coughing, into a discussion of how movie stars used to keep themselves svelte. (One well-circulated story has it that, when illness had left Bogie too weak to handle the stairs in his own home, he used to navigate from one floor to another by stuffing himself in the dumb waiter.) It's also worth remembering that Gable, who died of a massive heart attack after completing his last film, The Misfits, had lost 35 pounds on a crash diet to get his weight below 200 before shooting began. If there's any less of that sort of thing going on nowadays because more stars feel comfortable about appearing in public looking something other than whisper-thin, surely it's for the better.

It's also true that, as Cieply would have known if he'd put down the "photographs" and spent a couple of days watching Turner Classic Movies, there have always been counter-examples one could offer to his role call of manly waifs. Wallace Beery never looked as if he'd had trouble locating the desert cart, Spencer Tracey rolled into his onscreen middle age looking as if he'd swallowed a tether ball, James Cagney was getting pretty squared-off by the time of Yankee Doodle Dandy, Robert Mitchum often had an amorphous mass surrounding his midsection that he used to abruptly suck up into his chesticological region whenever he was required to take his shirt off, Gene Hackman's weight always flunctuated, sometimes wildly, depending on just how regular his latest "regular guy" character was supposed to be, and as for Jack Nicholson, in his mid-forties when he more or less officially entered his "middle-aged" period with Terms of Endearment--please. Of course, with movies as with everything else, memory can be a great deceiver. Lawrence Turman, "a veteran film producer who is chairman of the Peter Stark producing program at the University of Southern California’s School of Cinematic Arts", told Cieply that "“John Wayne always looked a bit portly." I find it disturbing that the Peter Stark producing program at the University of Southern California's School of Cinematic Arts can do no better for its chairman than a guy who's never seen Stagecoach. It may be a tribute to the lingering effect of the image that Wayne cast from around the mid-1950s until his death in 1979 that even some professionals think he always looked like that, but I would propose that, unlikely though it may seem, that if Wayne had looked in his youth like a guy who was fated to someday look the way he did in True Grit, he never would have gotten the chance to grow into that later incarnation--at least, not on movie screens.

This still leaves the question of whether some of these stars, heavier though they may undeniably be, are as hideous to behold as Cieply seems to be implying they are. I will confess that when I saw Travolta, say, in the trailer for Pelham, I did not catch myself thinking, "Here comes Wide Load." (I did catch myself thinking, "Get a load of Weird Hairline with his Fu Manchu mustache. Each of us has his issues.) One possibility worth considering is that such stars as Travolta, Washington, and Hanks, who came up in the 1980s, when a perfect storm of society-embraced body issues and new technology in the gym led to a new species of Americans who seemed to be armor-plated in their own skin and muscle, some of whom hastened to show off their new packaging on the covers of magazines, such as that infamous shot of Travolta on the cover of Rolling Stone to promote Stayin' Alive, looking as if his abs were about to jump out of his torso and his brains had already leaked out of his ears. Maybe, having fallen for that when you had the energy and free schedule to pursue it all the way, you have to let yourself go a little later on or else you'll explode. But then, in the interests of full disclosure, I should concede that I am from The South, where we deep fry our veggie plates and the lost causes that we love to get misty-eyed about include our own arteries in their pre-clotted state. Because of my own cultural conditioning, if I had my way, every other movie made since 1984 would have starred Joe Don Baker, and the others would have been divided between Randy Quaid and the late Dub Taylor, with the result that Michael Cieply would be even more confused.

Screengrab Review: "State of Play"

Nick Schager — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 15:00:00 GMT

A 2003 BBC miniseries condensed from six hours to two for its big-screen Hollywood adaptation, State of Play is so bursting with characters, plots, and hot-button subject matter that some unavoidably receive short shrift. Though its English TV heritage and multifaceted current events-laden narrative both recall Steven Soderbergh’s Traffic, Kevin Macdonald’s (The Last King of Scotland) film nonetheless largely eschews Big Statement grandstanding in favor of murder-mystery tension. It’s a tack that can occasionally be vexing, as some of the issues this tale nominally addresses would surely benefit from further investigation, whether it’s the increasingly edgy relationship between traditional and new media, the role of corporate interests on news reporting, and – in an echo of this season’s 24 storyline – the rise of profit-first private military contractors in international affairs and homeland security. Yet Macdonald’s decision to use these topics primarily as flavoring for a tale of nothing-is-what-it-seems espionage and investigative journalism is, ultimately, a shrewd (if disappointing) one that keeps the focus on suspense and prevents the taut, knotty proceedings from overreaching.

In the nation’s capital, a thief and pizza delivery man are shot dead by a skilled killer, while at the same time, the aide (Maria Thayer) to married congressman Stephen Collins (Ben Affleck), whom she was both screwing and working for as the lead investigator of a Senate committee hearing into Blackwater-esque private military contractor PointCorp, is mysteriously killed by a subway train. Washington Globe reporter Cal McAffrey (a scruffy, long-haired Russell Crowe) is assigned to cover the first deaths but – given that Collins is his former college roommate, as well as married to a woman (Robin Wright Penn) whom he once slept with – inevitably begins looking into the latter case. What he unearths is a tangled web of duplicity, corruption and murder fit for a Raymond Chandler yarn, and one he’s tasked with figuring out while contending with an editor-in-chief (Helen Mirren) under pressure from the paper’s bottom line-driven new owners and a staff blogger named Della Frye (Rachel McAdams) eager to work the story alongside her renowned peer. Double crosses, assassinations, and treachery soon engulf the plucky reporters, and as they breathlessly sift through facts, rumors and revelations, Macdonald’s film achieves suitably swift momentum, the twists and turns coming fast enough to keep one distracted from the obvious, telegraphed denouement lying in wait.

Jeff Daniels, Viola Davis and Jason Bateman round out a sturdy all-star cast that’s asked mainly to embody familiar archetypes, and if Crowe’s hero is less compromised than the script would like us to believe – his severe conflicts of interest never truly putting his noble motivations in serious doubt – the actor’s driven performance nonetheless anchors the vigorous action. That, underneath its flurry of characters and incidents, State of Play adheres to a familiar All the President's Men-style whodunit template is for its first two-thirds inconsequential, since Macdonald keeps the shadowy proceedings brisk and thorny enough to mildly intrigue. Unfortunately, all the commotion is primarily in service of a seen-from-miles-away bombshell that renders the plot – and its half-baked but unpretentious portrait of the insidious influence of private entities in what should be public services (government and media) – far more shallow than it initially appeared. Although, even if the film proves nothing more than a clever, diverting bit of smoke and mirrors, its end-credits depiction of the start-to-finish process of newspapers’ daily creation serves as a poignant coda for the vital yet dying art of old-school, courageous, truth-telling reportage.

Morning Deal Report: Aaron Eckhart Hits the Rum

Scott Von Doviak — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 14:30:00 GMT

Aaron Eckhart and Oscar nominee Richard Jenkins are the latest to join the cast of Rum Diary, adapted from the novel by Hunter S. Thompson. Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are already aboard. Diary “is the tale of a washed-up, hard-drinking journalist named Paul Kemp (Depp) in 1950s Puerto Rico. Eckhart would play Sanderson, a wealthy landowner who believes everything has a price and introduces Kemp to a different standard of living,” per The Hollywood Reporter.

Russell Crowe’s Robin Hood may have a new Maid Marian. Liz Smith reports in Variety that “Cate Blanchett (she can play anything!) will take over the Maid Marian role in Ridley Scott's Robin Hood movie titled Nottingham. They decided Sienna Miller was too young for their Robin, the somewhat rotund, weighty and contentious Russell Crowe.” So Crowe is both rotund and weighty, which means Miller is too young for him. Makes sense.

Queen of mumblecore Greta Gerwig “has landed the lead role opposite Ben Stiller in the latest Noah Baumbach relationship dramedy,” per THR. The plot of the film, entitled Greenberg, is “under wraps, but it is expected to be set in L.A. and center on relationship intimacies in the manner of past Baumbach pictures.”

Related:
Russell Crowe Will Not Wear Tights
Greta Gerwig and the SXSW Invasion

Trailer Review: State of Play

Paul Clark — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 17:00:00 GMT

I’ve heard plenty of good things about the BBC mini-series upon which this movie was based. However, judging by the trailer, most of what made the original so compelling was lost in translation, because what I see here looks like a standard-issue journalism/conspiracy thriller. Lots of shadowy figures, bodies turning up, old friendships gone sour, and so on. But then, perhaps it’s just emblematic of Hollywood’s need to fit long-form stories into a neat two-hour framework, which requires removing the nuances and everything that makes them really work in the interest of keeping the story movie. But if nothing else, I’m glad to see Russell Crowe playing the lead again, after a handful of high-profile second banana roles in Ridley Scott movies. All of the bad press that has circled around him in recent years (following the phone incident) had the unfortunate effect of causing people to forget what a fine actor he is, and I’m holding out hope that State of Play will remind them.

The Screengrab Highlight Reel: Nov. 8-14, 2008

Scott Von Doviak — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 22:00:00 GMT

Lazenby. George Lazenby. You know, I like to think I’m a good sport. I played James Bond once forty years ago, and I’ve never heard the end of it. How would you like to wake up at 3 a.m. to answer a ringing phone and hear “You suck, Lazenby!” Not just once, but many, many times. And just this week, the Screengrab abounds with Bond material. James Bond’s Top 007 Cocktails. Quantum of Solace review. Bondage Bloggage. And the Best and Worst James Bond Movies of All Time (Parts One, Two, Three, Four and Five). And in all of that, I get only one mention – where I’m referred to as “an Australian underwear model.”

I’ll have you know I have a distinguished acting resume that extends far beyond Bond. I played Jor-El in the short-lived 1990 Superboy series, and a burglar on an episode of BJ and the Bear. I starred in The Man from Hong Kong, coming soon to Ozsploitation! And I’ll almost certainly appear in one of The Top 50 Movies of 2009.

Ah well, no sour grapes on my part. Just to show what a good sport I am, let me direct you to a few of my favorite Screengrab posts of the week:

John Belushi’s Screen Test

John Cusack: Political Poet

Unwatchable #62: “Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie”

Take 5: Character Actors Who Take The Lead

Russell Crowe Will Not Wear Tights

Yesterday's Hits, Veteran's Day Edition: The Best Years of Our Lives

Star Trek Showdown III: The Search for Shatner’s Sanity

Russell Crowe Will Not Wear Tights

Scott Von Doviak — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 18:00:00 GMT

As Body of Lies opens in Britain, The Independent interviews the always genial Russell Crowe, who opens up about his deeply introspective acting process. “ ‘Preparation? I picked up a bag, I put a pair of underwear in it and I got on a plane. There you go – preparation done,’ he says, slapping his hands together. ‘How many times have you seen me do it in the last 20 years? A lot. Whatever the character needs, I'll get to that point. It's no big deal. I was at 88 kilos when Ridley called and asked if I'd mind putting on a load of weight. I was at 117 kilos when the movie started, and I've been coming down slowly. I'm at about 95 kilos at the moment, maybe a little less.’”

Crowe remained bulky for his role in the upcoming State of Play, a big screen remake of the BBC miniseries. Crowe signed up when Brad Pitt abandoned the project. (Pitt does that a lot, doesn’t he?) He’ll shed the pounds for his dual role as the Sheriff and Robin Hood in Ridley Scott’s upcoming Nottingham. “The world doesn't need a mundane version of Robin Hood. If we're gonna do it, we've got to kick some serious butt. I've loved Robin Hood since I was a kid, but when the idea came up and they gave me this script, I said, 'Look, I don't like this. This doesn't work. It's not good enough.' But the idea of Robin Hood? For sure. I spent 10 months just reading Robin Hood books – the history, the mythology, the original ballads, the legend – and then you've got 100 years of cinematic history as well. So this has got to be the best one ever done, otherwise I should be doing something else."

Crowe adds: "I will not wear tights because according to our research they weren't invented for another 300 years. I apologise to you all – and to Sienna Miller."

If the whole “dual role” thing strikes you as a little odd, you aren’t alone. Writing in The Guardian, James Anthony express some concern: “I'm all for actors playing dual roles. It has worked in several films where it has thematic relevance. But Crowe's ego precedes him, and it's tempting to believe he just wants to share screen time with himself.”

Related:
Sienna Miller in the Hood
When Good Directors Go Bad: 1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992, Ridley Scott)

Thursday Morning Poll for September 16, 2008

Paul Clark — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Well, looks like the Russell Crowe name just isn’t what it used to be. In conjunction with last weekend’s release of Body of Lies, we decided to poll you folks on your favorite Crowe/Ridley Scott collaboration. But just as Body of Lies tanked at the box office, so most of you were less than enthusiastic about this poll subject. Predictably, our readers’ top choice was their Oscar-winning Gladiator, which brought in 45% of the vote. But more telling is that 36% of you voted for “none of the above.” What gives, folks? Was it the phone-throwing incident or the Thirty Odd Foot of Grunts fiasco that soured you on Crowe?

For this week’s poll, a question about one of the filmmakers most often associated with horror- George A. Romero. Romero has recently announced that he’s going to be making a sixth film in the Dead franchise. And although I think he might have gone to the zombie well one too many times already, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t eager to see what else he has up his sleeve. But until that film sees the light of day, we’ve still got five other entries- some classics, others not so much- to discuss and debate their relative merits. So, I’ll put it to you- what’s the best Romero Dead movie?

Which of Romero's DEAD films is your favorite? | BuzzDash polls

Try not to hurt your BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS! choosing a favorite. As always, the comments section is open. See you next week!

Morning Deal Report: Seth Rogen's With Cancer

Scott Von Doviak — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 14:30:00 GMT

In our time of financial crisis, a nation turns to a tiny talking dog for comfort. Hey, we’ve all been there, right? Er…not that my tiny dog talks out loud. Not often anyway. Heh heh heh. Anyway, Beverly Hills Chihuahua continues to rule the box office chart, digging up $17.5 million over the weekend for a total haul of $52.5 million so far. And then there are those who seek respite from our trying times in the comfort of flesh-eating monsters, as Quarantine took second place with $14.2 million. The one-two punch of Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe had to settle for third, as Body of Lies debuted with $13.1 million. America apparently decided a terrorism thriller wasn’t really the salve it was looking for.

Seth Rogen will make you laugh at cancer. That’s the plan, anyway. Rogen will co-produce and co-star in I’m With Cancer, from an autobiographical script by Will Reiser. Rogen will have a supporting role in “Reiser's account of his struggle to beat cancer, with the story centering on a 25-year-old who finds out he has the disease,” per The Hollywood Reporter. I’m laughing already.

Ridley Scott has apparently put that Monopoly movie on the back burner. He’s now planning to adapt the 1974 Joe Haldeman novel The Forever War, which Variety reminds us will be the director’s “first science fiction film since he delivered back-to-back classics with Blade Runner and Alien.” I guess G.I. Jane doesn’t count.

Related:
Face/Off: Judd Apatow and "Pineapple Express"
OST: "Blade Runner"

Tony Stark (i.e., Robert Downey, Jr.) to Bruce Wayne: "I Got Your Dark Knight Right Here, Pal!"

Phil Nugent — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Robert Downey, Jr., America's scamp, has tasted what the other guys are selling and found it lacking. Downey, whose star vehicle Iron Man got the summer movie season of 2008 off to a bang back when it opened several hundred years ago, has given an interview to moviehole.com in which he found it impossible to discourse on what made his movie so special, and what will make its sequel (which reunites him with director Jon Favreau and Tropic Thunder co-writer Justin Theroux, who's working on the script) so special, without talking about what makes it different from The Dark Knight. Whereas Iron Man is "a very simple movie", Downey says of the Batman blockbuster, "It's like a Ferrari engine of storytelling and script writing and I'm like, 'That's not my idea of what I want to see in a movie.' I loved [Dark Knight director Christopher Nolan's] The Prestige but didn't understand The Dark Knight. Didn't get it, still can't tell you what happened in the movie, what happened to the character and in the end they need him to be a bad guy. I'm like, 'I get it. This is so high brow and so f--king smart, I clearly need a college education to understand this movie.' You know what? F-ck DC comics. That's all I have to say and that's where I'm really coming from."

The first thing to be said about this is that if anyone finds that their college education helps them to better understand why Jim Gordon didn't dispatch a SWAT team to surround that boat that the Joker was aboard after Eric Roberts tipped him off, then that lucky viewer must have gone to a hell of a school. (Personally, my college education wasn't even enough to keep me from pissing away eleven dollars on a ticket to Vicky Cristina Barcelona.) Of course, Downey's harsh words for DC Comics will set off little tremors in the minds of comics geeks who remember bitter wars of words on the playground between self-styled DC fanboys and Marvel zombies. However much he means it, it's fun when these companies' star employees pretend to be infected with the virus, as anyone who ever saw Alan Moore take custody of the microphone at a comics convention in the 1980s, before he adopted a "plague on both their houses" attitude. It's kind of like professional wrestling without the folding chairs. Downey himself seems to get a giggle out of his bad-boy act. "You know, you're never too old to burn your bridges because I believe I have offended everyone," he said. "I think I've got a couple more.

On the subject of his other summer hit, Tropic Thunder, Downey has one thing he wants to make very clear: he is not Kirk Lazarus, the looney, Oscar-festooned Method actor he plays, who vows to remain in character until he's recorded the picture's DVD commentary. Speaking of the character, Downey says that "I think his fatal flaw is pretty much any and everyone's who's in entertainment, which is, on a certain level: 'Oh if they believe they're a fraud and that's creating this neurotic state,' when the truth is, you are a fraud because you've gone too far into buying into your own hype and now you're, literally crazy. I think Kirk Lazarus is nuts." Discussing his decision to make Kirk Australian, Downey adds, "I just think that the Australian phenomenon reminds me more of American as with the British invasion from the '60s. But when I was thinking about Kirk Lazarus I was thinking about Colin Farrell, about Daniel Day Lewis and about Russell Crowe and whoever was the most effective tool for whatever my thing was, I would use." When it was pointed out to him that a lot of viewers sure do see a lot of Crowe in there, Downey permitted himself a smile. "Now do you think he would see it as the highest form of flattery or do you think that he would be less than pleased?"

"Tropic Thunder" Plays the "Retard" Card

Phil Nugent — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Once upon a time, there was a big-budget movie satire called Tropic Thunder, which was co-written by its director and star, Ben Stiller, along with actor Justin Theroux and Etan Coen (not to be confused with Ethan Coen, but the Mike Judge associate who worked on Idiocracy and th Beavis and Butt-head movie). As those with really long memories may recall, the "controversy" regarding this movie was going to be about a character played by Robert Downey, Jr., an obsessively committed Method actor who is cast in a role that had originally been written as an African-American and who insists on playing it in blackface. (Some have speculated that the actor's Aussie background is meant as a slap at Russell Crowe. In a recent New York Times Q & A with the movie's director-star-co-writer Ben Stiller and one of his co-writers, Justin Theroux, Stiller insists, "He was always an Irishman, and then when Downey came on, he decided to play him Australian because he said he could improvise better in Australian. I don’t know where that came from." We're guessing that it came, at least in part, from this..) But now, in an unexpected twist, the movie is instead being targeted by advocacy groups for those with mental disabilities, several of which are threatening an organized boycott.

The objections stem from a joke involving the Stiller character's attempt to win some respect as an actor by starring in a movie called Simple Jack, which was spotlighted in a website meant to publicize Tropic Thunder; it boasted the fake tag line, "Once there was a retard." The site, which was pulled last week after criticism started coming in, may have cost the joke a little something in the way of context. But the idea is clearly to mock the trend among Hollywood actors, ranging from Sean Penn (I Am Sam) to the likes of Rosie O'Donnell, to seize upon such roles as the actors' equivalent of sitting on the sidewalk with a begging bowl and a hand-lettered cardboard sign reading, "Will Talk Goofy for Awards." (In Tropic Thunder itself, the punch line is that Stiller's character has the shamelessness to take on such a role but not the commitment necessary to carry it off; the demented genius actor played by Downey scolds him for "never going the full retard.") Oddly enough, people seem to be having an easier time of it grasping the logic behind Downey's role, and when Paramount and DreamWorks arranged a screening for advocacy groups, it amounted to throwing gasoline on the fire. Andrew J. Imparato, president of the American Association of People with Disabilities, walked out of the theater proclaiming, “It was even worse than the hateful stuff they used in promoting it.” Other groups planning to send picketers to protest outside theaters include the Special Olympics and the National Down Syndrome Congress. This has the makings of the biggest unnecessary fake outrages of its kind since stutterers' groups came down on A Fish Called Wanda.

Trailer Review: Body of Lies

Paul Clark — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Does anyone out there actually buy Leonardo DiCaprio in tough-guy roles? Don’t get me wrong- I think he’s a talented actor, and given the right part he can knock it out of the park. But I didn’t find him convincing in Gangs of New York and Blood Diamond, and I’m certainly not convinced here. If you look at Leo’s best recent roles- Frank Abagnale, Howard Hughes, even Billy Costigan in The Departed- they all make use of his innate boyishness and knack for playing psychologically damaged characters. But there’s just something about him (the reedy voice, the scraggly facial hair) that doesn’t work when he’s supposed to be tough and street-smart. Just like he was in Gangs, he looks hopelessly overmatched here by his more experienced costar- Russell Crowe this time around- and it’s going to require a lot of work from director Ridley Scott and screenwriter William Monahan to convince me that Leo’s character can hold his own opposite Crowe’s. Also, it seems sort of sinful that the gorgeous Carice Van Houten (playing Leo’s wife) is nowhere to be found in the trailer, but maybe that’s just me.

Morning Deal Report: Sienna Miller in the Hood

Scott Von Doviak — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 14:30:00 GMT

Add Sienna Miller’s name to a list that already includes Audrey Hepburn, Uma Thurman and Rich Little. That would be the list of people who have played Maid Marian in one version or another of Robin Hood. Ridley Scott’s “revisionist take” called Nottingham already has Russell Crowe on board, but not in the role you might think. According to Variety, Scott’s version “focuses on the Sheriff of Nottingham (Crowe) as a noble and brave lawman who labors for a corrupt king and engages in a love triangle with Marion and Robin Hood.” Miller is currently shooting G.I. Joe, so she should have action figures aplenty in stores by this time next year.

Insert your own “offer they can’t refuse” joke here. The estate of Mario Puzo “has filed suit against Paramount Pictures, claiming the studio owes it at least $1 million in revenues from the series of video games based on the Oscar-winning film The Godfather,” per the Hollywood Reporter. The author’s son Anthony is behind the lawsuit, which states: “Despite the vast wealth Puzo created for Paramount, it has refused to pay his children their agreed share of the revenue from that audio-visual product.” No truth to the rumors that Puzo’s lawyers are responsible for the horse’s head found in the Paramount CEO’s bed.

Finally, you’ll be delighted to know that the appropriately named Film Movement has acquired the U.S. distribution rights to The Pope’s Toilet. The Cannes favorite “is set in 1988, as a small Uruguayan town, Melo, gears up for the arrival of Pope John Paul II. One local resident, trying to profit from the visit, decides to build a portable pay toilet for the event, setting in motion a chain of unforeseen complications,” Variety reports. I guess that answers Steve Martin’s old question, “Does the Pope shit in the woods?”

Related:
How Bad Will "G.I. Joe" Be?
American Lawsuit

Meatheads at the Mike: The Scarlett Johansson-Leonard Nimoy Connection

Phil Nugent — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:00:00 GMT

On the occasion of the release of Scarlett Johansson's debut album, Matthew Oshinsky has assembled a handy wrap-ups of actors, or at least professional camera subjects, turned vocalists. It comes divided into categories: "the teenyboppers" (Annette Funicello, David Cassidy, Hillary Duff); "former child stars" (a category that, perhaps surprisingly, seems to be the likeliest to yield an actual recording career, along the lines of those enjoyed by Janet Jackson, Phil Collins, and Alanis Morissette); and my personal favorite, "former soap stars" (including Rick Springfield, who Oshinsky notes "was already a popular singer in his native Australia when he suddenly found himself on millions of afternoon TV screens in 1981 [on General Hospital] and learned that he didn’t know what popularity meant"). For those fully fledged adult mainstream celebrities who decide that this is their big chance to show that they've still got what they had at the high school talent show, Oshinsky favors the label "Meatheads." Here we find your Russell Crowes, your Eddie Murphys, your Steven Seagals (no shit, really!?), and Bruce Willis, whose 1987 Motown release The Return of Bruno (with backup work by Booker T. Jones and members of the Temptations) tried to hedge its bets by presenting itself as a "soundtrack" to an HBO special in which Willis pretended that he was pretending to be a legendary white soul singer on the comeback trail. He thus hedged his bets in a way that, in this specialized field, passed for clever, inviting people who noticed that his music sucked to treat the whole thing as a joke. His hideous, malformed cover of the Staples Singers' "Respect Yourself" made it to number five on the charts anyway. If I live to be a thousand, I will never understand how anyone could miss the 1980s.

Oshinsky names Jennifer Lopez and David Hasselhoff the queen and king of this niche of pop cross-pollination, noting that Hasselhoff's second album, the 1989 Looking for Freedom,” "shot to No.1 in Deutschland on the strength of the title track, which was embraced by thousands of Germans looking for something American and easy to understand." (This may be closest that anyone has ever come to describing David Hasselhoff's career as being easy to understand.) But he also knows that anything touched by William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy just has a special magic to it. "It is unknown if Mr. Shatner intended for his 1968 recording of poetry and pop covers, The Transformed Man, to be the galaxy’s funniest album, even 40 years later, but it’s a serious contender. Mr. Nimoy’s 1969 record, The Touch of Leonard Nimoy, was his fourth and last until 1995’s wistfully titled You Are Not Alone, which presumably referred to someone other than him being with us." I have no idea just what to make of the fact that the author seems to have gone out of his way to snub every crossover pin-up who earned my sister's devotion when we were living under the same roof: namely, David Cassidy's brother Shaun; John Schneider, of The Dukes of Hazzard; and David Soul, who before attaining stardom on Starsky and Hutch used to appear on talk shows singing in a ski mask so that his devastating good looks wouldn't distract viewers from admiring the beauty of his music, and whose big hit, the tender ballad "Don't Give Up on Us Baby", would be rediscovered by disk jockeys with sick senses of humor every time he was arrested again for beating up a woman. Unless I hallucinated all that, but I don't think I did. Drugs of that quality never made it into the Walthall County school system back in the day.

American Lawsuit

Phil Nugent — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 19:00:00 GMT

Ridley Scott's American Gangster, ostensibly based on the real story of the '70s drug dealer Frank Lucas, ends with Lucas (Denzel Washington) basically joining forces with Richie Roberts (Russell Crowe), the detective who's nailed him, by agreeing to testify against their shared enemies, the crooked lawmen who shake down crooks and sneer at clean cops. The movie wraps up its story with a series of titles that state that "three-quarters of the drug enforcement agents assigned to New York" wound up being convicted thanks to Lucas' testimony. The DEA and its agents are pissed off about this, and they're not settling for barging into Scott's home and shooting his dog; a bunch of former feds have filed a class-action defamation lawsuit against the movie. The suit charges that "the defamation involved the defendant NBC Universal, through its Universal Studios, falsely communicating, in writing, to millions of people in a motion picture called American Gangster that three-quarters of New York City's DEA, from approximately 1973 through approximately 1985, were convicted criminals."

Dominic Amoroso, a former federal prosecutor who tried Lucas and is now representing the agents in their claim, says that, with regard to the titles suggested that Lucas' testimony brought down crooked feds, "No such thing ever occurred. Not a single agent of New York City's DEA, or any other law enforcement officer, was convicted of anything based upon the so-called 'collaboration' of Lucas and Roberts. Nor was a single agent of New York City's DEA or officer of the NYPD convicted in any case or investigation involving Frank Lucas whether based upon a collaboration of Lucas and Roberts or any other resource." NBC Universal earlier blew off the agents' demand for a retraction and an apology by issuing a statement that read in part, "The film in no way charges or even insinuates wrongdoing on the part of the federal Drug Enforcement Administration. " Assuming that someone at Universal has actually seen the movie, this would seem to apply that the studio heads and its lawyers do not regard graft, theft, and violent shakedowns as "wrongdoing", which, depending on how long they've been working in Hollywood, might not be implausible.

Making Movies, Singing Songs, and Tanking 'Round the World

Phil Nugent — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 20:00:00 GMT

Forbes magazine has crunched the numbers and concluded that the most overpaid star in Hollywood — literally, in terms of how much she’s paid as it compares to how much good her presence onscreen seems to do her movies at the box office—-is Nicole Kidman. What’s that, you say? The talented and discerning star of Cold Mountain, The Human Stain, Eyes Wide Shut, Bewitched, The Interpreter, Fur, The Invasion, Birth, The Stepford Wives, overpaid? David Thomson can’t imagine how anyone could entertain such a churlish notion, but apparently if you run the numbers by someone who can count, it turns out that Big Red’s movies have been earning the studios a return of about eight bucks for every dollar she’s been getting paid--and Kidman got paid fifteen million dollars for her most recent release, The Golden Compass, a fantastically expensive movie intended to serve as the platform for a franchise, though it's proven such a disappointment that it may be lucky to inspire a direct-to-video sequel. She does show a better return than her countryman Russell Crowe, who earned the studios five dollars for every dollar he was paid on such ironically titled duds as Cinderella Man and A Good Year. But Crowe, who maintains a less slavish work schedule than Kidman, has lashed himself to fewer anchors in the last few years, and his current hit, American Gangster, is doing so well, even before the home-video revenues have started rolling in, that much will be forgiven. The usual response to this kind of talk from a star's camp is that a star can only do so much with the material he or she has to work with, and anyway, do you think that a movie like Fur would have done kickass business if it hadn't had Kidman's frosty mug on the poster? In the meantime, as Forbes notes, the golden boy of the moment in Hollywood is Judd Apatow, who’s been behind two modestly budgeted major hits (Knocked Up and Superbad) that didn’t have any stars at all and may have a third before the year is over if Walk Hard with John C. Reilly opens big. Of course, one reason that Apatow’s starless pictures make so much money, even after being subjected to the surreal rigors of Hollywood accounting, is that his budgets aren’t inflated from having to pay one actor fifteen to twenty million dollars right off the bat.

Morning Deal Report: Beware of Otyugh

Peter Smith — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 16:00:00 GMT

John C. Reilly fans, rejoice: Reilly will be going on tour with his band, in character, to promote his Judd Apatow-produced starring vehicle, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. Apparently the dude's actually got a decent set of pipes.

Confirmed: Russell Crowe replaces Brad Pitt in State of Play. Kind of an upgrade, really.

The Belgian hit Ben X gets a U.S. remake. It's about a "mildly autistic teen" who gets bullied at school and then gets confused between reality and his beloved online role-playing games, presumably then going koo-koo and bludgeoning his oppressors with a +12 War-Ax of Retribution. For some reason I'm reminded of this.

— Peter Smith

Morning Deal Report: Pitt Splits Would-Be Hit

Peter Smith — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 16:00:00 GMT

Forget that Ed-Norton-Brad-Pitt-reunion buzz around State of Play; Pitt has flown the coop, and Russell Crowe is rumored to be replacing him.

Speaking of fantasy movies about Jesus, here comes The 13th Disciple, about (wait for it) Jesus's evil twin brother.

The director of The U.S. vs. John Lennon is at work on a documentary about Michael Hutchence of INXS.

— Peter Smith