The Screengrab : rambo

The Screengrab's Top Ten Worst...Movies...Ever!!!! (Part Nine)

Andrew Osborne — Fri, 08 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Phil Nugent's Top Ten Worst Movies Ever (Part Two)

6. RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD, PART II (1985)

'

To judge from the overly polite reactions to the recent Rocky Balboa and Rambo pictures, some critics who were there when Sylvester Stallone was the biggest star in the world and who had sense enough to cringe about it now feel so sorry for the poor has-been son of a bitch that they're happy he's still alive, steroid-addled, and capable of pulling crows to a cornfield at sundown. They were right the first time and need to get over it. Stallone's naked need for not just ticket sales but approval and respect was always pathetic, and in order to reap these ill-gotten rewards, he made a string of movies that were progressively more brutal in their stupidity, to the point that you could actually sit there feeling the collective I.Q. points being shaved off the audience. Nor does it necessarily make one a humorless tight-ass to regret the fact that, in order to get those fists pumping to his satisfaction, he had to throw gasoline on the fantasy that Vietnam in the mid-1980s was full of captive American POWs, which amounted to emotionally torturing the families of MIA servicemen for the sake of an adrenaline surge, as well as the idea that we didn't lose the war but "weren't allowed to win it," a contention that guaranteed one an interesting crowd reaction in theaters where Vietnam vets were present. The next time somebody as hard up for stardom as Stallone and as shameless about how he gets it comes along, for God's sake, let him be satisfied with making movies where he kills Martians or something.

7. BREAKING THE WAVES (1996)
8. AMONGST FRIENDS (1993)

No list of worst movies would be complete without a Scorsese imitation, and while Phil Joanou's State of Grace remains a standout for the blatancy of its appropriation of the uptight guy/crazy guy central dynamic--with Gary Oldman's performance some kind of benchmark for fake Method acting--this embarrassment, made for some $900,000 by the self-promoting tyro writer-director Rob Weiss, doubles as a horror story about overhyped "indie" filmmaking in the wake of sex, lies and videotape and Reservoir Dogs. (For the true and terrible story, see John Pierson's chapter on the movie in Spike, Mike, Slackers and Dykes, titled "Amongst Jerks.") The best thing you can say about the movie's male cast is that they would never be seen onscreen again; Weiss himself has never directed another movie, apparently having concluded that it's too much like work. (Surely he could get another job if he wanted to; if Phil Joanou does it, anybody could.) Instead, he lives out his dreams of show biz glory vicariously, grinding out scripts for the televised circle jerk that is HBO's Entourage.

9. CRY FREEDOM (1987)

Richard Attenborough takes rich, complex dramatic stories about amazing men, turns them into pap, and then stands there beaming with pride at the great favor he's done by making these stories dull enough that any muttonhead can now presumably benefit from them. He does sometimes get great performances in spite of himself, and this movie features a staggering piece of work in Denzel Washington's portrait of the martyred anti-apartheid activist Steven Biko. So it's all the more patently insulting that the movie is shaped as the story of a white family man, Biko's biographer Donald Woods (Kevin Kline), and that Kline's colorless performance as a man who's presented as being unexciting and virtually of no interest--I guess so that we dullards in the audience can "identify" with him--is supposed to be the center of the movie, with Biko in his shade. Attenborough is very lucky that the apartheid government was well on its way to collapsing by the time his movie came out; it distracted attention from his film and made it seem more of an irrelevance than an outrage. But if a Truth and Reconcilation Campaign for movies were ever created, Cry Freedom would be first in line, and few movies would deserve forgiveness less.

10. SGT. PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND (1978)

The practice of grabbing hold of the title of a non-movie-related pop culture touchstone did not in fact begin with Uwe Boll, and in fact, it's hard to think of a computer-game-based movie that would make less sense than this project. Produced by Robert Stigwood in the wake of the success of Saturday Night Fever, the new Beatles who head the all-star cast are the Bee Gees and Peter Frampton, who a year or two before had been the biggest pop star in the English-speaking world. With all due respect to Steve Martin's gonzo movie debut as Dr. Maxwell Edison, the best joke here is that by the time the film was released, Frampton had less clout and credibility with the rock audience than his erstwhile co-star, Mr. George Burns.

Runner-Up: FORREST GUMP (1994)

Combining all the aesthetic crimes of a Hallmark card, a soap opera, an Oscar-bait "very special" performance, and a Fox News report on why the sixties were bad for you, Robert Zemeckis' crime against humanity officially declared the end of the Being There era, a time when most of humanity would have agreed that there was a downside to seeing a well-intentioned moron as a fount of wisdom and moral superiority. And the dubbing in the scenes with JFK and John Lennon sucks donkeys. Sometimes, flipping the channel and coming across a rerun of Bosom Buddies or the scene in Turner & Hootch where he tries to explain Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp to a dog, I'm reminded of how much I miss having had an iota of respect for Tom Hanks.

Click Here For Part One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight & Ten

Contributor: Phil Nugent

The Less Than Triumphant Return of Mad Max

Scott Von Doviak — Wed, 06 May 2009 16:30:00 GMT

Last summer, when Indiana Jones and Rambo were taking advantage of their senior citizens’ discount at the box office, I lamented the absence of my favorite ‘80s action hero, Mad Max. Now it looks like Max may finally make his return to the big screen…but I’m having a little trouble getting excited about it.

George Miller talked to MTV about his plans to revive Fury Road, the long-gestating fourth installment in the series. “Now Miller is resurrecting the idea as an R-rated, stereoscopic anime flick for theatrical release. It’s a curious undertaking, to be sure, but one made all the more certain to happen after the runaway success in 2006 of his computer-animated Happy Feet—not that the newest, ever-violent Max film will have much in common with that kid-friendly penguin party.”

Boy, is that nothing I wanted to hear. Furthermore, even though going the animated route would seem to be a viable way to keep Mel Gibson in the role that made him famous, that apparently is not the plan. “‘We’ll probably go a different route,’ Miller told MTV News about the potential talent voicing the lead role.” Miller is also developing a Mad Max videogame, also without Gibson’s participation. Look, I know the guy’s a loon – but that’s a good thing in this context, no?

Ah, well. Maybe I can work up some enthusiasm for this project. “For the anime release, Miller isn’t looking simply to mimic Japanese-style animation but rather to adapt it for Western audiences. ‘The anime is an opportunity for me to shift a little bit about what anime is doing because anime is ripe for an adjustment or sea change,’ he explained. ‘It’s coming in games and I believe it’s the same in anime. There’s going to be a hybrid anime where it shifts more towards Western sensibilities.’”

Nope. Still not feeling it. Read my post, George! Before it’s too late!

Now Playing Live: "Rambo Solo"

Phil Nugent — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 17:00:00 GMT

Good news for completists of live theater events derived from bad movies or people's obsessions with same: Soho Rep has extended the run of Rambo Solo to April 19, in response to the sell-out success of the engagement that began March 19. Conceived and directed by Pavol Liska & Kelly Copper, the show, which originated at the Nature Theater of Oklahoma, stars Zachary Oberzan as an actor named Zachary Oberzan, who saw the 1982 Sylvester Stallone movie First Blood when he was nine years old, and who has apparently spent the past quarter century of his life punishing his parents for not having taken him to see E.T. instead like normal people. In the one-man show, Oberzan lectures the audience about the importance of Rambo's story, then sets about re-enacting it. Oberzan performs his monologue in a homey intimate space strewn with pillows for audience members to sit on, and since he probably doesn't get many chances to bring girls back to his apartment to admire his mastery of the principles of feng shui, while he acts out the story onstage, the makeshift screen behind him shows home movies showing him strenuously acting out the story in his home.

Oberzan is fascinated not just by the movie but by the original novel by David Morrell, which was first published in 1972, ten years before the movie came out; although Morrell created the character of Rambo in that book, he then laid him aside until the movie began to spawn sequels, and he would write the novelizations of both 1985's Rambo: First Blood Part II and the mathematically confusing Rambo III. More recently, Morrell wrote the comic book series Captain America: The Chosen; his extensive literary credits also include the 1976 critical study John Barth: An Introduction, which he wrote just to mess with my head. Oberzan, who according to Charles Isherwood's review in The New York Times, performs "with the wandering focus of somebody relating a long story casually", with "lots of 'ums' and dead spots when the thread of the plot is briefly lost, and [Oberzan] often stares dumbly for a moment or two, trying to ferret out from the jumble of memory a particular nugget of dialogue or a turn of the story", says that the show grew out of his fascination with "the various versions of a story and what actually is indeed the original story, and when do you begin to argue about what is the original story?" Unfortunately, whenever I come across First Blood I invariably change the channel before that argument can begin.

In Other Blogs: 2008 Halftime Reports

Scott Von Doviak — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 15:30:00 GMT

Your favorite Screengrab writers have chimed in with their favorites (or least favorites, as the case may be) from the first half of 2008, but it may not completely shock you to learn that we are not the only bloggers to do so. Over at Cinematical, Jeffrey M. Anderson explains why. “Here's one of my dirty little secrets: I love lists and I keep track of my year's ten best movies all year long. Most other critics hastily assemble their lists at the last second, which is partly why so many December movies dominate; critics can't remember what they've seen earlier in the year. My list shows that 2008 has had a pretty poor first half, but I do have some contenders for listhood. Two movies are currently competing for the top spot, though I need to see them both again to be sure. Hou Hsiao-hsien's Flight of the Red Balloon (6 screens) is one; it has a lovely, laid-back, observant quality and feels less severe than some of Hou's other recent films. But I haven't yet decided if the film is a comedy or a tragedy.”

Also at Cinematical, Scott Weinberg presents a month-by-month breakdown of his year at the movies. As always, January is the cruelest month. “Not many choices, really, but I'm an enthusiastic supporter of both Cloverfield and Teeth. I also enjoyed Cassandra's Dream a bit more than most folks seem to, but it's hardly among Woody Allen's best movies. Beyond that, January was as lame as ever. (Thanks for nothing: One Missed Call, First Sunday, Mad Money, Rambo, Untraceable, and the execrable Meet the Spartans.)”

A site that’s new to us, Gone Elsewhere, weighs in with an overlooked choice. “The best new release I’ve seen thus far is Jeff Nichols’ Shotgun Stories. The film stars Michael Shannon as the oldest of three adult brothers whose father abandoned them years ago and began a new family, with four sons. The two sets of half-brothers grew up as bitter rivals, and emotions come to a head after the father dies. Shannon may be the most creepily intense actor in movies today; see William Friedkin’s Bug if you don’t believe me. Among the more interesting insights the film has to offer is that most of the characters seem to know full well that their actions are irrational and unproductive, but their hatred is self-sustaining and out of their control.”

At Scanners, Jim Emerson writes about the ever-changing crimson shades of cinematic blood. “Before the late '70s, blood was generally (and, remember, these are generalizations -- there are certainly exceptions) bright red and opaque, like nail polish or latex paint. It was often compared to ketchup, which in many cases it was. Since then, our taste for blood runs darker, anywhere from ruby red to almost black…My favorite movie-blood story belongs to Martin Scorsese. The way he tells it, the MPAA freaked when they saw the bloodbath in Taxi Driver (1976) and was ready to slap it with an X rating for violence. They suggested he tone it down -- as in, tone down the red -- in order to get an R. So, Scorsese put the scene through some kind of chem wash or something that made the blood more brownish. In his view, it made the scene more sickening and disturbing, but he got his R rating.”

And finally, our List-o-Mania selection this week comes from Spoutblog, which brings us 5 Actors Who Shouldn’t Be Famous. I’m not entirely certain Josh Hartnett even qualifies as famous, but the most controversial choice is Jon Voight. Granted, the included clip of Karate Dog is a powerful indictment.

Related:
2008: Second Quarter Wrap-Up
Half Measures: Leonard Pierce's Favorites of the First Half of '08
Half Measures: Paul Clark's Favorites of the First Half of '08

Thursday Morning Poll for June 5, 2008

Paul Clark — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Well, the Rambo fans have spoken, and it’s been determined that Screengrab’s favorite Rambo adventures are First Blood and… er, Son of Rambow. The initial Rambo adventure- which some may recall was originally slated to star Dustin Hoffman and be directed by Mike Nichols!- eked out a win in last week’s poll, taking 46% of the vote. Coming in a close second with 38% was the Stallone-free Son of Rambow, a sweet little British movie about kids who decide to make their own low-budget version of the original. All well and good, I suppose, but why not more love for the awkwardly-titled fourth installment, Rambo? Yes, it was ridiculous to see the sixtysomething Sly sticking it to the Burmese military, but it was so violent and crazy that it was pretty irresistible. To me, anyway.

With the $57 million opening weekend gross for the Sex and the City movie, it’s become next to impossible for even the straightest of guys to deny that the film has become a phenomenon. As much ink as been spilled over the movie, both by people who’ve seen it and people who haven’t, it’s clear that everyone has an opinion on Sex and the City. So what’s yours?

“S.O.” stands for “Significant Other”, in case you couldn’t guess. And as always, feel free to share your thoughts in greater detail in the comments section below.

Eddie Murphy Exhumes “Beverly Hill Cop”

Scott Von Doviak — Thu, 29 May 2008 14:30:00 GMT

There must be some sort of misunderstanding. See, the other day I wrote about reviving another '80s action hero in the wake of successful return visits from Rambo and Indiana Jones. But I was talking about Mad Max. Some signals must have gotten crossed because I definitely didn’t mean Beverly Hills Cop.

Yet here it is in Variety: “On the heels of the successful revival of the Indiana Jones franchise, Paramount has set in motion a fourth installment of Beverly Hills Cop. Eddie Murphy is attached to reprise his role as Detroit detective Axel Foley, and Brett Ratner is negotiating to direct.”

Whose bright idea was this? Unsurprisingly, it was the star of Norbit and Meet Dave himself. “Murphy approached the studio about reviving the franchise that cemented his status as a B.O. mega-star.” With such announced upcoming projects as The Incredible Shrinking Man and Untitled Eddie Murphy/Romeo and Juliet Project, you’d think his plate would be full, but hey, lucky us. Now we can only wait and wonder if Judge Reinhold is available.

Forget Indy and Rambo: Five Reasons We Want Mad Max Back

Scott Von Doviak — Tue, 27 May 2008 18:30:00 GMT

Two action heroes in hibernation since the '80s have recently awoken, claimed their AARP discount cards and gone back to work on the big screen, but a third remains in retirement. We now know there’s still an audience for Rambo and (especially) Indiana Jones, even if their respective returns have been met with a tepid critical reaction. Of course, we already knew that nostalgia is one of the most powerful elements on the periodic table, which would be reason enough for the Powers That Be to bring Mad Max out of cold storage. But after taking another look at The Road Warrior recently, I think our old favorite wanderer of the wasteland has a little more to offer than a rehash of the glory days. Here are five reasons why I’d shell out my hard-earned cash for Mad Max 4.

Relevance. The original trio of Indiana Jones movies were a recreation of the old matinee serials, and Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a recreation of the recreation. Rambo is long past his sell-by date as a Cold War avenger, and the attempt at bringing him up to date by involving him in the Burmese genocide was greeted as forced at best and offensive at worst. Now let’s look at the world of Mad Max as seen in The Road Warrior : hmm, desert tribes warring over the last remaining supplies of gasoline? In these days of $4.00 per gallon at the pumps, I think we can work with that. It doesn’t have to be an all-out Iraq allegory, although those overtones would be hard to avoid. Surely we can all relate to the concept of scavenging for fuel. Who among us has not fantasized about hijacking a tanker full of petrol in recent months?

Getting Beyond “Beyond Thunderdome.” The third and so far final Mad Max movie, Beyond Thunderdome had its moments, mainly the beginning and the end – also known as “the parts George Miller directed.” (Miller did the action scenes, turning the rest of the film over to George Ogilvie.) Most Max fans would probably rather forget the plotline involving the lost tribe of children, an overtly Spielbergian turn of events that doesn’t mesh well with the gear-grinding post-apocalyptic vibe of the series. But it’s easy enough to ignore this episode – the continuity between the three films is rough, anyway. A good parallel would be Sergio Leone’s Dollars trilogy: how about a Mad Max equivalent of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly? Hell, you could bring in two new characters and have Max be “The Ugly,” which brings us to…

The Mel Gibson Factor. Gibson has been conspicuously absent from the screen (as an actor, that is), and with good reason. Given all the controversies of recent years, there may not be many lead characters that audiences would be willing to accept Gibson playing. Because, you know, he’s crazy. So what better role than an aged Max Rockatansky, 20 years further down the road to nowhere? Imagine Gibson with his big ol’ mad prophet beard, more legend than man, the lone remnant of a long-dead civilization no one else believes in anymore. I tell ya, it could work! Rumors of Mad Max 4: Fury Road keep resurfacing, some with Gibson as a participant, some without. I say he’s got to be there, even if he’s not the lead. He could even send up his drunk driving arrest…well, okay, maybe not.

Real Automotive Mayhem. Our own Andrew Osborne covered this in his recent CGI rant: “Why are high speed car chases with actual cars (and trucks and motorcycles and gyrocopters) better than computerized car action? Gee, I don’t know...maybe the same reason sex with an actual human being is better than internet porn?” Naturally, we must insist that CGI be used sparingly in any Mad Max reboot. We want to smell the exhaust pouring off the screen.

No More Penguins. If George Miller gets involved in a new Mad Max movie, it will keep him from making a sequel to Happy Feet. It’s not that we don’t love adorable penguins, but we need a break. Look, I’m not saying a Mad Max sequel is a necessity – none of these revivals are. But this is one action hero’s return I’d greet with more than just a shrug.

DVD Digest for May 27, 2008

Paul Clark — Tue, 27 May 2008 14:30:00 GMT

This week, Criterion continues its ongoing commitment to the films of Michael Powell, and an aging icon shoots his way onto DVD and Blu-Ray.

DVD of the Week: What else could it be but Criterion’s The Thief of Bagdad? This is probably the closest thing to a must-buy that’s coming along in months, and for so many reasons. As one of the great examples of forties-era Technicolor, Thief is a natural for DVD, especially once the wizards at Criterion are done sprucing it up for this release. But there’s a raft full of special features to enjoy as well- two commentaries (including one from a couple of obscure movie nerds named Scorsese and Coppola), a documentary about the film’s award-winning effects, a propaganda film commissioned by producer Alexander Korda on behalf of the British War effort, and much more besides. In other words, I know exactly what I’ll be spending my money on come Tuesday

Also of note is the crush of Rambo DVDs hitting shelves this week. Not only will there be two different standard-DVD versions of Stallone’s latest Rambo adventure (Lionsgate), but also a Blu-Ray edition, along with box-sets of the previous Rambo films in both standard and Blu-Ray. So if you like Rambo, there will be plenty of goodies for you to enjoy.

Pretty slow week for DVD releases otherwise, with new titles including Woody Allen’s Cassandra’s Dream (Genius Productions), Renny Harlin’s barely-released Cleaner (Sony), Nina Hartley’s Guide to Great Sex During Pregnancy (Pacific Media), and a DVD edition of Marguerite Duras’ 1972 film Nathalie Granger (Facets- ugh). And that’s about it, sadly.

Finally, look who’s back! That’s right, it’s your old pal David Huddleston, ready to bemoan the release of two new HD-DVDs from Warner Home Video. What are they, you ask? Why, they’re P.S.: I Love You (Warner) and Twister (Warner). Are you as excited as I am? Because if you are then it must be you I hear snoring. Seriously, could you knock that off? I'm trying to sleep here.

Werner Herzog’s Very Bad Idea

Scott Von Doviak — Wed, 14 May 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Werner Herzog is remaking The Bad Lieutenant with Nicolas Cage. I can’t stop him.

According to Variety, “Nicolas Cage will star in an updated version of 1992's Bad Lieutenant with Werner Herzog directing, Edward R. Pressman producing and Avi Lerner's Nu Image/Millennium Films financing.” How many red flags can you possibly cram into one sentence? First and foremost, Lerner is the schlockmeister behind the recent Al Pacino fiasco 88 Minutes and Pacino’s upcoming re-teaming with Robert De Niro, Righteous Kill, as well as the latest Rambo reboot. His slate of upcoming productions is crammed with remakes and sequels, including yet another Rambo, re-launchings of both Conan and Red Sonja, Undisputed 3 (there was an Undisputed 2?) and the long-anticipated-by-someone Poe biopic written and directed by Sylvester Stallone.

He also produced The Wicker Man remake, which presumably is where Nicolas Cage comes into this. Well, I already knew Cage was shameless. I just want to know how Herzog got roped into the project. As described by Variety, the original 1992 Bad Lieutenant “followed the depraved New York police officer of the title, who was heavily involved in drugs, gambling, sex and stealing; the pic received an NC-17 rating.” That’s sort of putting it mildly. Love it or hate it, Lieutenant was an intensely personal vision from writer/director Abel Ferrera, with a truly out-on-a-limb performance from Harvey Keitel. It would hardly seem to be remake fodder, anymore than say, Eraserhead or Herzog’s own Aguirre: The Wrath of God. Would Herzog really be okay with Abel Ferrara remaking that? For all I know this project may have Ferrara’s blessing, and it’s not that I’m such a huge fan of his anyway, but something about this just reeks of crossing a line that ought not be crossed. This doesn’t help: “The new script's penned by Billy Finkelstein, a TV writer with credits on Murder One, Law & Order and NYPD Blue.”

Hopefully Herzog will have an announcement of his own soon. I’d love to know what he’s thinking.

Burt Reynolds Builds a Bandit

Scott Von Doviak — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 15:30:00 GMT

First Rocky did it, then Rambo. Indiana Jones is about to do it, and even Dirty Harry is rumored to be thinking about it. So if all of these movie geezers can come out of retirement for one more adventure, why can’t the Bandit? Of course I refer to Bo “Bandit” Darville, the iconic Burt Reynolds rogue who drove circles around Sheriff Buford T. Justice in the Smokey and the Bandit movies. While a big-screen re-launch of the franchise may currently exist only in the sickest corner of my diseased brain, Burt Reynolds has recently reunited with the black TransAm he made famous. Sort of.

In Celebrity Rides: Burt Builds a Bandit, a 5-part series that aired on something called the DIY Network but is now available on DVD, Reynolds teams with car restoration company YearOne to design and build a new custom version of the car using the original 1977-78 model. Actually, saying Reynolds “teams” with the restoration group is a bit generous; he shows up at the shop a couple of times to reminisce and grunt a few suggestions, footage of which is scattered throughout the episodes to make him seem like a consistent presence. In fact, there’s probably less than an hour of actual content in the whole two-and-a-half hour series; the footage is all chopped and shuffled and re-used over and over, following the time-honored TV dictum: tell people what they’re going to see, let them see it, and then tell them what they just saw.

Still, if you’re a know-nothing gearhead like me, it’s fun to see an old-school TransAm pulled out of a field, completely stripped down and rebuilt to modern specifications, even if replacing the CB radio with an Alpine navigation system does seem like sacrilege. Clips from the original Smokey are scattered throughout, and they mostly serve to highlight how shockingly frail Reynolds looks these days. He’s making another big screen comeback attempt with Deal, in theaters tomorrow, but it’s a safe bet that his years of going eastbound and down are long behind him, good buddy.

Pacino and De Niro Punch the Clock

Scott Von Doviak — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 16:00:00 GMT

We’ve all had a good time picking on Al Pacino for his shameless stroll through the critically reviled 88 Minutes, but the L.A. Times isn’t going to let his partner-in-crime Robert De Niro off the hook. Both Godfathers stand accused of making mockeries of their careers in pursuit of fat paychecks. (Disclaimer: I’m prepared to do the same. Somebody make me an offer.)

“The two icons of '70s New Hollywood, heroes to a generation of young actors and filmmakers, have become parodies of themselves,” writes Patrick Goldstein, “making payday movies and turning in performances that are hollow echoes of the electrically charged work they did in such films as Serpico, Dog Day Afternoon, Mean Streets and Taxi Driver.” As Goldstein notes, this isn’t exactly news to capo di tutti capi Francis Ford Coppola, who blew the whistle on his former golden boys in a GQ interview last year.

“I met Pacino and De Niro both when they were really on the come,” said Coppola. “They were really young and insecure. Now, Pacino is very rich, maybe because he never spends any money; he just puts it in his mattress. De Niro, kind of, was very inspired by Zoetrope and created an empire and is very wealthy and powerful….You know, even in those days, after The Godfather, I mean, I wanted—I didn't feel that those actors were ready to, ‘Let's do something else really ambitious.’ ” The director of Jack, ladies and gentlemen.

As we’ve mentioned, Pacino and De Niro are re-teaming later this year for the police thriller Righteous Kill. It will perhaps help you keep a lid on your expectations to know that the film is brought to you by the same producer and director as 88 Minutes, Avi Lerner and Jon Avnet. Lerner is described as a “colorful Israeli producer who has made hundreds of B movies over the last 20 years, having recently stepped up in budget class -- thanks to an influx of money from German film investment funds -- from direct-to-video thrillers with Jean Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal and horror fare like Shark Attack to star vehicles with Sly Stallone (Rambo) and Bruce Willis (16 Blocks).” It’s as if the golden age of Cannon Films is upon us again. Goldstein says it best: “With Avnet at the helm again, expectations for quality are low -- it has the get-out-your-checkbooks feel of the latest Eagles tour.”

Trailer Review: Son of Rambow

Paul Clark — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 17:00:00 GMT

A few weeks ago, Screengrab's own Phil Nugent wrote a column on the phenomenon of "fan remakes." But the truth is that fan remakes have been around for years. The most famous example of the genre, Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation, dates to the late 1980s, and indeed my friends and I got into the act with a short remake of Pulp Fiction, with the twist of turning all the characters into morons. But with such high-profile films as Be Kind Rewind and this film, fan remakes — or, as Gondry calls it, "Sweding" — are more ubiquitous than ever. While Gondry's film appears to be one of his trademark lo-fi flights of fancy, Son of Rambow looks to be taking another path, that of the twee Brit-com. Personally, my patience for films like this ran out in roughly 1999, but it should at least be interesting to see how a cute film in which children mount a remake of First Blood plays in the wake of Stallone's latest ultra-violent installment in his other signature series.

In addition, here's a link to Mike D'Angelo's review of the film from last year's Sundance.

Stallone: What You Choose to Call Self-Serving Gibberish, He Calls an Interview

Phil Nugent — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 19:00:00 GMT

How does Sylvester Stallone answer charges that Rambo is excessively violent? With great indignation, which is of course the only way that his screen characters ever answer anything. "I don't think this film is horrific and bloody, because that's what war is. It's not gratuitous violence. Gratuitous violence is a guy dressed up in a fright wig with a meat cleaver, chasing teenagers around the woods for ten hours. This is war, and it's a civil war — which, as you know, is by far the most vicious of all wars." To hear Stallone tell it, he actually expects people to respect the fact — or at least, not fall down laughing hysterically at the idea — that he made this movie in order to call attention to how bad things are in Burma. "We did tons and tons of research. There's an unbelievable amount of material out there, literally hour by hour. It's almost a teletype of the horrendous things that are going on there. And it's hard to believe that it's publicised and nobody does anything about it." Far be it from us to suggest that one reason Stallone may have selected Burma, out of all the world's trouble spots, to turn Rambo loose in is that there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of widespread public awareness of the atrocities being committed there, which means that he's not going to alienate a huge percentage of the international movie market by painting half the population as a bunch of wilde-eyed sadists hoping that the next plane in will bring them a blonde missionary to ravage. (And it goes without saying that, what with everyone running around decaptitating each other, Burma itself is not considered a prime movie market.) Twelve years ago, another movie about a Westerner who gets caught up trying to help the people of Burma, John Boorman's Beyond Rangoon, got little notice from audiences. (Slipping into pitchman's mode, Stallone has called Rambo "sort of like Beyond Rangoon, but with rocket launchers.")

It's optimistic to expect Stallone to realize that tying his self-glorifying action fantasies to an actual political situation actually makes his movie more offensive than it would be if he were fighting nameless killers in a made-up country, or gladiators from outer space, or some other deserving adversaries. It's not the gore that makes the Rambo movies so disgusting — you can like it or not like it, you can lap it up or hide your eyes, but in the end, it's only a movie. What's always made these movies splash down harder than most flicks of their ilk is the way that Stallone mixes cartoon heroics with "contemporary issues" in a way that touches real nerves. 1985's Rambo: First Blood, Part II would have just been a feature-length G. I. Joe toy commercial on steroids if Stallone hadn't had the instinct to exploit national guilt about having "abandoned" Vietnam vets and the desire to believe that M.I.A. soldiers were still over there, waiting to be rescued. What's debatable is Stallone's contention that this level of manipulation makes his movies more serious, and less sleazy, than the Friday the 13th pictures. It's trickier than it looks, I'll grant you that. When Stallone was kicking around the idea of making a fourth Rambo movie back in the early 1990s, before Rocky V bombed, he was reportedly thinking of making it about "the environment." That was before Republican politicians chose to make global warming not a scientific matter for serious study but an issue to be mocked and used to beat people like Al Gore over the head with; though it's a more pressing issue now than it was then, to have Rambo take it up would have meant possibly alienating a huge percentage of the audience that goes to the movies to see stuff get blown up. It stands to figure that Stallone wouldn't want to be burned again, after the disappointing reception to the 1988 Rambo III. The 1985 movie had ridden the wave of Reagan-era anti-Communist machismo; President Reagan had invoked Rambo's name in response to everything from a terrorist hijacking to tax reform, and in popular culture, the two figures became deeply connected people's minds. But Stallone now says that the third Rambo film, set in Afghanistan, died on the vine because Ronnie stabbed him in the back by letting the Cold War end ahead of schedule: "Two weeks before the film comes out Gorbachev comes over and gives Reagan a hug, kisses Nancy on the cheek and now I'm a Red-baiter!"

The Rambow Connection

Scott Von Doviak — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 21:00:00 GMT

Rambo may not have defeated Hannah Montana at the box office, but in racking up a respectable $30 million so far, there’s already talk that this may not be the mush-mouthed muscleman’s final go-round. While Sylvester Stallone claims he’s hanging up the headband, Harvey Weinstein is enthusiastic enough to start formulating story ideas, and a newly inked two-film deal may have the Italian Stallion scrambling for a new HGH prescription soon enough.

Meanwhile, Rambo’s reemergence into the pop culture may give a boost to a "quirky little British movie" that might have otherwise been sunk by its association with the character. Son of Rambow is set for release in May, after clearing some legal hurdles caused by its inclusion of footage from the original Rambo vehicle. Directed by Garth Jennings (The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy), Rambow is a coming-of-age tale about a sheltered young British boy whose life is changed when he views a bootleg tape of First Blood. Thus inspired, he and a friend set about making their own homemade sequel to the movie, which we’re guessing turns out better than Rambo III, at least.

First Blood was released by the long-defunct Carolco, and its rights are now held by StudioCanal, which purchased the Carolco library after the company was deep-sixed by the failure of its final high-profile releases, Showgirls and Cutthroat Island. Paramount Vantage acquired Son of Rambow after its debut at Sundance a year ago, but has been unable to release it until now. According to Variety, a deal was struck with StudioCanal, which will release the movie in the U.K. in April.

If the plot of Rambow sounds vaguely familiar, you might be thinking of Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation, the video remake of the original Indiana Jones adventure. Produced over seven years in the 1980s, this labor of love received Steven Spielberg’s seal of approval, and — surprise! — a movie about the boys who made it is now in the works. Ah, the ’80s: the decade that just keeps on giving.

Stallone All Juiced to Play Rambo Again

Phil Nugent — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 20:30:00 GMT

In an interview with Time magazine, Sylvester Stallone has admitted to taking human growth hormone (HGH) as part of the regimen that made it possible for him to once again play the mush-mouthed super-warrior John Rambo for a fourth time. Actually, "admitted" doesn't really capture the tone of Sly's remarks. The 61-year-old "actor", who has to do something to kill time for the next three and a half years while waiting for his big chance to be profiled in cover stories for the AARP magazine, balks at the notion that taking HGH is comparable to taking steroids, says that "Testosterone to me is so important for a sense of well-being when you get older," and offers this unsolicited testimonial: "Everyone over 40 years old would be wise to investigate it because it increases the quality of your life. Mark my words. In 10 years it will be over the counter." (It goes without saying that Stallone is something of an authority on the future, having starred in both Demolition Man and Death Race 2000.)

Stallone's dependence on HGH isn't exactly news: a year ago, while he was touring to promote his previous exercise in career necrophilia, Rocky Balboa, he was arrested after Australian customs officials found forty-eight vials of Jintropin in his luggage. (It has been reported that when Stallone was asked why he was traveling with HGH in his suitcase, he answered, with a sideways nod to his shooting schedule, "Where do you think I am going to get this stuff in Burma?") Incidentally, Rambo, which opened last Friday and was widely expected to dominate the box office in its first week, ended up coming in second — behind Meet the Spartans. One can only hope that Stallone doesn't decide take that as a sign that he didn't juice up enough for his latest comeback. If he ups his dosage enough, he might inflate and wind up floating off into the ozone like Yaphet Kotto at the end of Live and Let Die. Actually, now that you mention it...

Take Five: We Love The '80s

Leonard Pierce — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 22:30:00 GMT

American moviegoers can't get enough of the 1980s, apparently. Those of us who had to live through it the first time remember it primarily as a time of bad metal, worse sitcoms, and waiting around to see what dumb-ass thing Ronald Reagan would say next, but to the generations that followed, it is a time for richly veined cultural nostalgia. From what we can recollect through the haze of drugs and alcohol that coat our memories of the decade, the hallmark of 1980s cinema was very loud explosions punctuated by the occasional car chase or wise-cracking black transvestite. It's not something we thought anyone would be eager to repeat, and yet there have been, in recent memory, new installments of the Die Hard and Rocky franchises; a new TV series based on The Terminator; an upcoming Indiana Jones picture; and, opening all across the country this Friday, a new Rambo movie. Even the Screengrab is getting into the act, with Gabriel Mckee posting his top ten action heroes who deserve a comeback, many of whom hail from the Decade That Time Refuses To Forget. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em: so says Take Five as we present a fistful of '80s action movies that we. . . well, we don't love, exactly, but we at least look back on with something less than severe brain trauma.

ROCKY III (1982)

Sure, the first movie had heart and soul. And the second movie had a ruthless determination to capitalize on the first movie's heart and soul. But do you know what they didn't have? Do you know what they lacked, which made the third installment unquestionably the best of all the Rocky movies? That's right: MR. T. They didn't have Mr. T, and as such, they suffered, as do all artistic projects not involving Mr. T. Here's a little secret they don't teach you at film school: sure, Citizen Kane might have been the greatest movie of all time — but it would have been even better if it had been able to feature Mr. T yelling at people. And Rocky III, whatever its other faults — and it had hundreds, from its hamhanded TV-movie direction (by Sly himself) to its predictable storyline — at least gave us Mr. T yelling at people in abundance. When his Clubber Lang (a savage, media-loathing brute allegedly inspired by young George Foreman) wasn't yelling at people, he was beating people up, and Rocky III brings us the double pleasure of seeing Sylvester Stallone clobbered by Clubber and Hulk Hogan as "Thunderlips". Just turn it off halfway through.

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA (1986)

If it wasn't the most exciting or accomplished action movie of the 1980s, it was at least probably the most enjoyable: Big Trouble in Little China was brought to us by an uncharacteristically light-hearted John Carpenter, and worked both as a straight-up pseudo-mystical punch-'em-out and as a loopy parody of same. Carried largely on the back of Kurt Russell's endearing performance as antihero "ol' Jack Burton", a trucker who's chock full of bogus wisdom delivered in a ridiculously over-the-top John Wayne accent. Part of the reason it plays so well as both sincere action and goofy action send-up is because the script was written by W.D. Richter, who originally conceived it as a sequel to his own The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension from two years earlier. Legal and financial issues kept the sequel from being made, but Big Trouble features some of its characteristic touches and clever bits of dialogue. It also features swell performances from a young Kim Cattrall and James Hong, everyone's favorite inscrutable Asian. Besides, how can you not love a movie featuring a wizard named Egg Shen?

ACTION JACKSON (1988)
Where is the love for Sgt. Jericho Jackson, we ask you? Where? This compelling saga of America's forgotten black action hero was released in the same month as Bloodsport, making 1988 — which also brought us Die Hard, Above the Law, Red Heat and They Live — a banner year from cheesy guilty-pleasure action movies. This one had it all: a post-Rocky, pre-Arrested Development Carl Weathers playing a tough Detroit cop who was also an all-American track star and a Harvard-educated attorney; former Prince plaything Vanity making hay while the sun shone as a sex kitten; Sharon Stone, doing the thing that she was best known for doing before everyone all of the sudden decided to take her seriously; and villains Craig T. Nelson and Robert Davi overacting like there was no tomorrow. (Which, for Robert Davi at least, there probably wasn't.) Action Jackson had everything you could have wanted out of a 1980s action flick: a wisecracking tough guy hero, naked dead chicks, tons of explosions, people dying in extremely creative ways, egregious use of narcotics, and a protagonist whose name rhymed! Come back, Carl Weathers, all is forgiven.

BLOODSPORT (1988)

Before Jean-Claude Van Damme was a full-time crazy person, he was America's next big martial arts star. Bloodsport was the movie that put the rubber-groined Belgian on the map, portraying real-life martial arts semi-star Frank Dux. The plot of Bloodsport — well, it's giving it a lot more credit than it deserves to even call it a plot, involving (as does every other martial arts movie ever made) a bunch of well-toned Asians out to kick each other in the face. It's not much for memorable acting, either; Van Damme had already, in his first starring role, perfected the self-satisfied smirk that would carry him through the rest of his career, and while the movie does feature a young Forest Whitaker as a federal agent tasked to stand around looking exasperated, it also features Leah Ayres failing to become America's sweetheart, Donald Gibb trying to make the transition from hooligan to lummox, and Bolo Yeung (the former Bruce Lee nemesis known as Yang Tse) putting in the kind of performance only a trunk full of steroids can deliver. But it does feature some stunning martial arts battles, which is really all you can hope for in a movie like this.

ROAD HOUSE (1989)

In all the calls for a revival of action movie heroes like Rocky, Rambo, Ryan, and Indy, where are the legions of fans clamoring for a return of James Dalton? Patrick Swayze desperately needs something to do, people. Believe it or not, there was once a time when women would line up around the block to get a load of this chunk-headed 'King of the Sleepers' with his shirt off, and nowhere was he more chunk-headed or shirtless than in this deleriously zany action flick about a Zen-influenced tough guy ("Pain don't hurt") who is hired, despite his small stature and philosophy degree from NYU, to act as the bouncer at an out-of-control bar. Directed by a former electrician named Rowdy and co-starring Kelly Lynch at the height of her blondeness, Road House transcends its shortcomings by being so completely indifferent to its own craziness that it chugs along on its own energy with nary a look back. Ben Gazzara is the bad guy in this thing, clearly bombed out of his coconut, and it features the immortal line "I used to fuck guys like you in prison".

The Top Ten Action Heroes Who Deserve A Comeback, Part 1

Peter Smith — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 22:30:00 GMT

This week's top ten comes to us from guest writer Gabriel Mckee, friend of Nerve and author of The Gospel According to Science Fiction. Read his fantastic blog here.

Recent years may well be remembered for bringing back the over-the-top action hero. New sequels to Rocky, Die Hard, and Rambo have revived long-dead franchises, and the trend is continuing. Indiana Jones 4 has started filming, and a fourth Mad Max film would have wrapped by now had scheduling conflicts not led director George Miller to make Happy Feet instead. Though it's an easy trend to mock, it opens the door for other action heroes to be resurrected — here are some top candidates.

10. Scott McCoy (Chuck Norris), The Delta Force

Before he was a meme, before he was Walker, Texas Ranger, even before he was a Karate Kommando, Chuck Norris was Maj. Scott McCoy of the Delta Force. This elite antiterrorist strike force, led by Lee Marvin, consists of some thirty soldiers who are highly trained in standing around in the back of a cargo plane while Chuck Norris rides around on a motorcycle killing terrorists. Delta Force came out in the pre-Die Hard world, before we expected our action heroes to have pathos, depth or family troubles. There's not much character to this character, but when it comes to straightforward ass-kicking, Norris is the undisputed master. Norris is ripe for a Stallone-style comeback, and in the and in the age of the War on Terror, a new entry in the Delta Force saga is the perfect vehicle for his revival.

9. Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy), Beverly Hills Cop

Remember when Eddie Murphy made movies that people enjoyed? Barring Dreamgirls, his film career has been on a losing streak for over a decade, putting him just below Robin Williams on the list of actors who need to be rescued from their own careers. A return to the role of Axel Foley, the detective/con man of Beverly Hills Cop, might be the best way to ensure that Norbit never happens again.

8. Jack Carter (Michael Caine), Get Carter

Michael Caine has made a major comeback in recent years, but in most of his recent roles — in Batman Begins, Children of Men,and The Prestige, for instance — he's played the Kindly Old British Guy. It's easy to forget that he made his name playing jerks — first a heartless cad in Alfie, then a brutal-but-suave thug in Get Carter. This story of a London gangster who travels to Newcastle (Britain's equivalent of South Jersey) to investigate his brother's murder isn't as flashy as more recent tales of the U.K. underworld. But Guy Ritchie and Jason Statham nevertheless owe everything to Get Carter's blueprint and Caine's cynical performance. A return to the character of Carter would give Caine a chance to recapture both the grim violence and the effortless sexiness of one of his greatest roles.

7. Jimmy "Popeye" Doyle (Gene Hackman), The French Connection

The most successful action film of the '70s didn't star Clint Eastwood, Bruce Lee or any other established veteran of the genre. The French Connection owes much of its success to Gene Hackman's performance as hot-headed bad cop Popeye Doyle (which earned him his first Academy Award). More than just a tough guy, Doyle is a contemptible bully, and instead of an invincible supercop, his temper makes him a bit of a screw-up. Hackman is still more than capable of this kind of complexity (as proven by The Royal Tenenbaums), and it would be thrilling to see what he could do with this character after thirty-five years.

6. Foxy Brown (Pam Grier)

The 1973 film Coffy established Pam Grier as the undisputed queen of '70s blaxploitation. Foxy Brown (originally intended as a sequel entitled Burn, Coffy, Burn!) justified her ascension — whether infiltrating a high-end call-girl ring, shooting her drug-dealing brother in the ear, or hijacking a drug runner's crop duster, Foxy is "a whole lotta woman." At turns smiling and sneering, she violently opposes an oppressive society symbolized by a white-operated heroin syndicate. Grier has had a slightly higher profile since Quentin Tarantino reintroduced audiences to her charms, but it's been far too long since she's kicked ass like she did in Foxy Brown.

Read PART 2.

Stone vs. Iran, Round 2

Peter Smith — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 18:00:00 GMT

You really have to hand it to Oliver Stone; whatever you might think of the quality of his movies, he sure does know how to rile people. He virtually invented Vietnam revisionism with Platoon, pissing off all the people who wanted to buy into the Rambo vision of a mighty America sold out by craven politicians; he irritated pretty much everybody with JFK and was practically elevated to Satanhood with Natural Born Killers; he drove conservatives batty with his sympathetic portrayal of Fidel Castro in Comandante; and his World Trade Center irked people of every political stripe. After returning to Vietnam for Pinkville (a dramatic retelling of the My Lai massacre), his next rumored project will be a documentary biography, in the Comandante mode, of the hugely controversial Iranian president Ahmadinejad. It’s a move likely to enrage conservatives in the U.S., but right-wingers in Iran are already furious — they’ve hated Stone since he directed Alexander, a film about the Macedonian emperor who is reviled by Persians as a hated conquerer. As the Guardian reports, conservative newspapers in Tehran are already going buggy at the idea of their beloved leader being immortalized on film by a man who already directed The Doors, a film about "one of America's perverted and half-mad singers; someone who urinated on the head of his fans during his concerts and enjoyed doing so." (The article also provides a helpful side-by-side comparison of the careers of Ahmadindejad and Jim Morrison.) — Leonard Pierce

Trailer Roundup: Cassandra's Dream, Kung Fu Panda, Rambo

Peter Smith — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 21:00:00 GMT

Cassandra’s Dream

Like Match Point two years ago, Cassandra’s Dream is being sold as a standard-issue British-made thriller, with Woody Allen's name withheld until the very end of the trailer. And like Match Point, this is by all accounts a crime drama steeped in class envy (reports from Toronto were respectful but unenthusiastic). What intrigues me most about this isn’t the crime stuff but the familial issues in play, with working-class brothers Ewan McGregor and Colin Farrell (notice the accents) coming to rich uncle Tom Wilkinson to borrow money. At this point, the movie could go either way, but I’d rather see Allen make movies like this than the mostly lame comedies he’s been churning out since Small Time Crooks.

Kung Fu Panda

Not that Dreamworks Animation has ever been especially committed to craft, but now that they’re banging out two movies a year all quality control has more or less been shot to hell. I imagine this pitch sounding like a pot-addled college student’s late-night ramblings: "Dude! You know how there are different kinds of kung fu named after, like, animals? Wouldn’t it be awesome if you could, y’know, see all the different animals doing the different kinds of kung fu! And there would be a panda, and he’s all fat and funny and he can’t do kung fu at all; now that would be a great movie. They could get Jack Black to be the panda. . . that would be sweet, right?" In fact, the more I think about it, the more I’m inclined to think that this isn’t even for real. It’s not, is it? Also, where’s Hamster Style?

Rambo

Years from now, there’s going to be a certain amount of confusion as to which Rambo is which. To wit — First Blood is the first Rambo movie, the second installment is Rambo: First Blood Part II, nobody will bother with Rambo III, and the upcoming fourth movie is simply called Rambo. Complicated enough for you? Anyway, when I first heard that Stallone was making another Rambo movie, my initial reaction was one of eye-rolling disbelief. But that changed when I saw last December’s Rocky Balboa, a movie that was cornball and far-fetched, but as endearing as Rocky’s old dog Butkus. So yes, the image of a sixty year old Stallone taking on guerrillas in the jungles of Myanmar is a little hard to take seriously, but I’m rooting for Rambo to be good, or at least fun. Yeah, I’ll take fun.

— Paul Clark