The Screengrab : kung fu panda

Screengrab Predicts The Oscars: Winners (Part Two)

Andrew Osborne — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 21:30:00 GMT

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE

And the nominees are...

Bolt – Chris Williams and Byron Howard
Kung Fu Panda – Mark Osborne and John Stevenson
Wall-E – Andrew Stanton

Paul Clark Predicts: Wall-E

The Panda may have swept the Annies, but this award’s voted on by everyone, not just the animators. And it’s foolish to bet against Pixar.

Andrew Osborne Predicts: Wall-E

Leonard Pierce Predicts: Wall-E

This one is as sure thing as there is at the Oscars this year; the 3D gimcrackery of Bolt and the overrated Kung Fu Panda don’t stand a chance against Wall-E, which really ought to have been nominated for Best Picture.

Should Win: Wall-E
Will Win: Wall-E

Nick Schager Predicts: Wall-E

Wall-E wins, or I throw something at the television. Or, at least, say something nasty under my breath.

Sarah Clyne Sundberg Predicts: Wall-E

Clearly Wall-E will win. It is this year's answer to An Inconvenient Truth. Only with animated robots instead of Al Gore.

Scott Von Doviak Predicts: Wall-E

SCREENGRAB CONSENSUS: KUNG FU PANDA! (No, just kidding...WALL-E)

BEST ANIMATED SHORT

And the nominees are...

La Maison En Petits Cubes - Kunio Kato
Lavatory - Lovestory - Konstantin Bronzit
Oktapodi - Emud Mokhberi and Thierry Marchand
Presto - Doug Sweetland
This Way Up - Alan Smith and Adam Foulkes

Paul Clark Predicts: Presto

It’s Pixar. Good enough for me.

Andrew Osborne Predicts: Oktapodi

My time-honored rule in this category is always to pick the one with the funniest title. (And yes, I think Oktapodi is funnier than Lavatory – Lovestory, which may come back to bite me right in the ass...that or the fact I forgot Presto was from Pixar.)

Nick Schager Predicts: La Maison en Petits Cubes

Scott Von Doviak Predicts: Presto

SCREENGRAB CONSENSUS: PRESTO

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE

And the nominees are...

Nerakhoon (The Betrayal)
Encounters at the End of the World
The Garden
Man on Wire
Trouble the Water

Paul Clark Predicts: Encounters at the End of the World

Man on Wire is the best movie, but I think that sentiment for Herzog -- a newly-enshrined Academy member whose stock in Hollywood is higher than ever -- will take this. Besides, wouldn’t a Werner Herzog Oscar speech be awesome?

Andrew Osborne Predicts: Man On Wire

I can’t remember a stronger year for the Documentary Feature category...by which I mean I’ve actually heard of most of the films and the two I saw were great. I haven’t seen Trouble the Water (which by all accounts is fantastic and which I’m adding to my Netflix queue...right...NOW), and I’m rooting for Werner Herzog (if only for the peculiar, deadpan acceptance speech), but I’ve seen that little French tightrope elf on a dozen talk shows, so it seems Man On Wire has the most exposure...and, in the absence of a Holocaust documentary this time around, that may be enough to secure a win.

Leonard Pierce Predicts: Encounters at the End of the World

It’s a terrific year for documentaries, and the trick will be predicting which one appeals to the Academy voters. Man On Wire has charm, Encounters at the End of the World is stunning, and Trouble the Water is one of the best of the Katrina documentaries; my guess is that AMPAS will go for the Herzog to compensate for his not getting any dap for his fiction films.

Should Win: Trouble the Water
Will Win: Encounters at the End of the World

Nick Schager Predicts: Man On Wire

Sarah Clyne Sundberg Predicts: Man On Wire

In these post-Bush times we can look back on the Twin Towers and reminisce in a French way. N'est-ce pas?

Scott Von Doviak Predicts: Man On Wire

I guess I'm the only one who thinks this is overrated. It's the sort of thing I probably would have enjoyed if I'd stumbled upon it on the Discovery channel or something, but the twinkly Frenchman got on my nerves after a while and all that build-up to, what, two still photographs? I dunno, give me Encounters at the End of the World – compelling characters, brilliant cinematography and that poor goofy penguin.

SCREENGRAB CONSENSUS: MAN ON WIRE

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT

And the nominees are...

The Conscience of Nhem En
The Final Inch
Smile Pinki
The Witness - From the Balcony of Room 306

Paul Clark Predicts: The Witness - From the Balcony of Room 306

I haven’t seen any of these, but this sounds like the sort of title that wins this category.

Andrew Osborne Predicts: The Final Inch

Again, I go with the funny name in this category. The Final Inch. Heh-heh-heh-heh...

Nick Schager Predicts: The Final Inch

Scott Von Doviak Predicts: The Conscience of Nhem En

I don't know anything about it, but it sounds very important.

SCREENGRAB CONSENSUS: THE FINAL INCH

BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT

And the nominees are...

On the Line (Auf der Strecke)
Manon On the Asphalt
New Boy
The Pig (Grisen)
Toyland (Spielzeugland)

Paul Clark Predicts: On the Line (Auf der Strecke)

Sure, why not?

Andrew Osborne Predicts: Toyland (Spielzeugland)

Ordinarily, I’d go with the “funny name” strategy again, but this one’s about Nazis: ka-ching!!!

Nick Schager Predicts: Toyland (Spielzeugland)

Scott Von Doviak Predicts: Auf der Strecke (On the Line)

SCREENGRAB CONSENSUS: NO CONSENSUS!

Stay tuned for appearances by Viola Davis, Marisa Tomei, Philip Seymour Hoffman and the vengeful ghost of Heath Ledger as the 2009 Screengrab Oscar Special continues!

Contributors: Paul Clark, Andrew Osborne, Leonard Pierce, Nick Schager, Sarah Clyne Sundberg, Scott Von Doviak

Leave the '80s Alone: He-Man and the Masters of the Universe

Nick Schager — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:30:00 GMT

News out of Hollywood this morning is that John Stevenson, the director behind last summer's Kung Fu Panda, has been signed to helm a live-action film for Warner Bros. based on that Mattel-manufactured icon of '80s action-figure silliness, He-Man. Considering that John Woo previously flirted with the project a few years back, it's probably no surprise that the perpetually shirtless, Castle Grayskull-residing hero will be returning to the big screen. Yet it's hard to understand the necessity of another cinematic He-Man adventure, as Gary Goddard's 1987 Masters of the Universe definitively captured the essence of the show (which I confess to loving as a kid ): a blend of sub-Lord of the Rings fantasy, pro wrestling-level drama, unsubtle and goofy homoeroticsm, and a variety of cheesy characters spouting cornball one-liners. Plus, Goddard's opus had Oscar-nominee Frank Langella as Skeletor! As proven by the below [spoiler-ish] clip, for pure entertainment value, it's hard to top any film whose climax features an oiled-up, scantily clad Dolph Lundgren dodging lasers, swinging across chasms, being zapped with electricity, sword-fighting Langella, and then sharing a triumphant moment with an apparent reject from Troll.

The Best of 2008: Leonard Pierce's Picks for the Best Movies of the Year, Part Two

Leonard Pierce — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 19:45:00 GMT

5. WALL*E (Andrew Stanton, dir.)

Pixar has been on such a roll of late that if they were a single director, they’d be getting mention in the same breath as the golden age greats. But they’re not; they’re an aggregate of many clever, talented folks who make computer-generated cartoons that are at least partly intended for children. I’m not going to argue that this isn’t sometimes a weakness; in WALL*E, the environmental message only seems fitting and appropriate because I happen to agree with it, and the crypto-Objectivism in The Incredibles only bothered me because I don’t. But regardless of the heavy-handedness of the moral, it can’t be denied that WALL*E is flat out the most wonderful film of the year, hopeful and funny and romantic and bittersweet all at the same time, and wrapped up in a package so beautiful to look at you wonder why anyone ever questions the potential of CGI. And if this astounding motion picture spawned an obnoxious marketing empire, one can only shake one’s head and say “Damn kids don’t know how good they’ve got it.”

4. RACHEL GETTING MARRIED (Jonathan Demme, dir.)

If you ever want to flummox a music critic, ask him to describe one of his favorite new bands without comparing them to another band. Of course, Rachel Getting Married proves that the same can occasionally be said for movie critics: it seems impossible to talk about without referencing something else. It’s got the dysfunctional family dynamics of Il y a Longtemps Que Je T’aime; the comeback-kid story of The Wrestler; the hateful-misanthrope-as-vehicle-for-joyous-redemption jawn of a Wes Anderson film (only better) and the structure and form of the late Robert Altman’s best work (only different). With all of these elements at play, though, it never seems derivative of anything else, only reminiscent in the best possible way. In the end, Rachel Getting Married is its own film, familiar yet new and impressive, and carried along by some of the finest acting of the year, most especially from Anne Hathaway and Bill Irwin.

3. CHE (Steven Soderbergh, dir.)

Steven Soderbergh keeps on making great movies, and never the same one twice. His latest is getting lots of what child care experts call “good attention” and “bad attention”; it’s certain that Soderbergh intended it that way, with its rigid formal structure, back-spasm-inducing length, difficult tonal shifts, and…oh, yeah, it’s a biopic about one of the most controversial figures of the 20th century. It’s just as hard to figure out how much of the negative reception is due to political and moral judgment of the revolutionary Che Guevara as it is to figure out how much of the positive reception comes from those who valorize him, but taken purely as a movie, Che is hard to beat: it’s formally daring, adventurously directed, risk-taking, well-made, and held together by a powerful performance that shows its subject neither as a heroic rebel or a vicious murderer, but simply as a man so consumed by his cause that he didn’t know what else to do than keep fighting for it.

2. WENDY AND LUCY (Kelly Reichardt, dir.)

There have been a number of exceptionally well-done documentaries in recent years about ordinary people dangling from the precipice of financial ruin in economically uncertain times, but successful narrative films dealing with the same subject have been few and far between. That’s largely because it’s hard to approach the topic in fiction without becoming didactic, maudlin, or treacly – and those challenges are certainly, and perilously, evident in Kelly Reichardt’s story about a young woman in brutally limited circumstances who loses her beloved dog while pursuing a slender chance at a decent job. But the miraculous thing about Wendy and Lucy is that it toes that line from its first frame to its last without ever tumbling down and making a mess of itself. That’s a testament to the top-notch script, the surprisingly deep direction, and the beautiful performance by lead actress Michelle Williams. No one could ever have predicted that an heir to the Italian neo-realist tradition would emerge in 2008 from America’s Pacific Northwest; that it happened is one of the year’s greatest surprises.

1. SYNECHDOCHE, NEW YORK (Charlie Kaufman, dir.)

There are so many things that could have gone wrong with Charlie Kaufman’s directorial debut. I first heard him talk about his desire to direct way back in 2004, when I interviewed him for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and when Synechdoche, New York was finally announced, I was full of dread. The video stores of America are choked with mediocre-to-bad movies by talented writers who decided what they really wanted to do was direct. I needn’t have worried: Synechdoche, New York is easily my favorite film of the year. Kaufman approached directing with the same meticulous, self-searching approach that he does writing, and the result is nothing short of astounding. The best movies, for me, are the ones that seem to completely rewire my head – that are so profound and well-crafted that they redefine my basic approach to their subject, form or content. Charlie Kaufman accomplishes that his first time out of the gate, and that’s the mark of a major talent.

ALMOST MADE IT: The Strangers, Doubt, Iron Man, The Wrestler, Bigger Stronger Faster*.

DIDN'T SEE THEM: Entre les Murs (The Class), Standard Operating Procedure, Lat den Ratte Komme In (Let the Right One In), Dear Zachary: A Letter To His Son About His Father, Trouble the Water, Full Battle Rattle, Le Voyage du Ballon Rouge (Flight of the Red Balloon).

PERFORMANCES OF THE YEAR: Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler; Bill Irwin, Rachel Getting Married; Kristin Scott Thomas, Il y a Longtemps Que Je T'aime; Viola Davis, Doubt.

MADE IN 2007, BUT GREAT IN 2008: 4 Luni 3 Saptamani si 2 Zile (4 Months, 3 Weeks, 2 Days); Paranoid Park; My Winnipeg; Une Vielle Maitress (The Last Mistress); Auf der Anderen Seite (The Edge of Heaven); Encounters at the End of the World; Chop Shop.

OVERRATED: Waltz with Bashir; In Bruges; Happy-Go-Lucky; Slumdog Millionaire; Kung Fu Panda.

Click for Part One

2008 in Review: Paul Clark's Favorite Movie Moments

Paul Clark — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Starting tomorrow, the writers of Screengrab will be unveiling their lists of the top 10 films of 2008. But before that begins, I’d like to post a different sort of list of highlights from the past year. For those of you who’ve only started reading recently, I used to write a bi-weekly column called “The Movie Moment,” in which I’d explore in depth some of my favorite scenes from movies both old and new. This past spring, I had to put the column on indefinite hiatus for various reasons, but I wanted to bring it back for this week only so I could celebrate some of my favorite Movie Moments of 2008. However, I had such a devil of time trying to narrow down my list that I’ve decided to simply list all of the moments that made me laugh out loud, cry like a baby, bite my nails uncontrollably, or which otherwise rocked my world this past year. This list is by no means meant to be taken as comprehensive, but merely were the moments which readily sprang to mind while I was writing the piece. So without further ado, I give you…

2008: The Year in Movie Moments:

(in no particular order)

The little boy’s confession notes- In Bruges

“No-no-no. I kill the bus driver.” - The Dark Knight

The security guard makes his rounds - Man on Wire

Sidney’s musical vows - Rachel Getting Married

The kiss that launched a thousand lens flares - Silent Light (only one of several transcendent moments in the film- the swimming-hole scene or the epic rainstorm might just as easily have qualified)

Mike’s late-night visit (or really, anytime Merle Haggard’s “Mama Tried” is played) - The Strangers

Peekaboo nudity - The Romance of Astrea and Celadon

Harry unveils the machine - Burn After Reading (honestly, who could possibly enjoy THAT?)

Madame Gaudens’ confession - A Girl Cut in Two

Incident at the race track - My Winnipeg

Most hilarious random line of the year: “When it comes to women, you’re Michael Jordan. I’m… Bill Laimbeer.” - Baghead

The new army suits up for battle - Role Models

Alex takes a shower - Paranoid Park

Brandi forgets her cell phone - Stuck

Black Kold Medina puts on a show - Trouble the Water

Runaway penguin - Encounters at the End of the World

Jung-rae Kim diagrams his neuroses - Woman on the Beach

Alex’s sex surprise, both inevitable and strangely erotic - XXY

The director’s big exit - Tropic Thunder

Most unlikely tearjerking moment of the year: Fred Knittle sings “Fix You”, Young@Heart

Three-way fist fight: Seth Rogen vs. James Franco vs. Danny McBride - Pineapple Express

The Richard McGuire segment - Fear(s) of the Dark

Ninjas! - In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (yes, really)

And finally, my five favorite openings and finales of the year:

Perfect openings: “Put on Your Sunday Clothes”, WALL*E; Sunrise, Silent Light; The piano, The Silence Before Bach; The Jean-Claude Van Damme Stunt Spectacular, JCVD; The Legend of Po, Kung Fu Panda

Great final scenes (no spoilers): Synecdoche, New York, The Duchess of Langeais, Shine a Light, The Visitor, Burn After Reading

I would invite all of you to share some of your favorites in the comments section. After all, I’m surely missing at least a couple of really good ones.

Screengrab 2008 Summer Movie Season Prediction Results!

Andrew Osborne — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Way back on May 1, yours truly and fellow Screengrabbers Paul Clark, Leonard Pierce and Scott Von Doviak made our predictions about the Top 5 Hits and the Top 5 Bombs of Summer 2008. Now, with Labor Day Weekend in our rear-view mirror, I’ve compared our predictions with the box office results and industry perceptions of the past summer season to see how we did (and which one of us has the brightest future as a Hollywood Suit in charge of picking the production slate for Summer ’09)!

But before I get to the results, I should mention that I didn’t calculate based on grosses alone, since industry expectations and the initial (estimated) cost of a film’s production and marketing factor into whether any individual project is generally considered to be a success or a stinker.

That said, our overall batting average was pretty good when it came to picking hits. Four of our consensus picks for the successes of Summer ‘09 turned out to be unqualified hits: The Dark Knight, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Iron Man and Kung Fu Panda. However, our fifth consensus pick, The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, is a bit of a sticky wicket. On the one hand, the fantasy flick is the 7th most successful flick of 2008 thus far (according to Wikipedia, anyway), with a theatrical gross of nearly half a billion dollars. On the other hand, it “only” grossed $141-ish million in its domestic run, and generally fell below expectations raised by the Red State driven success of its predecessor, The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe.

So, giving half points to Caspian, Screengrab went 4.5 out of 5 on hit prediction, which ain’t so stanky.

On the other hand, our bomb predictions more or less blew up in our collective face. Oh, sure...most of us could smell The Love Guru and Speed Racer stinkin' up the cineplexes from a mile away, and both films were, in fact, Hindenburgian box office disasters. (Oh, the humanity!)

But our third prediction, The Incredible Hulk, somehow rode the summer superhero wave to a respectable (if not sensational) gross, and our fourth pick, The Happening, while yet another disappointment for M. Night Shyamalan, at least managed to improve on the box office of the writer/director’s previous effort (Lady In The Water) and, thanks to a (relatively) low budget, failed to produce quite as big a crater as expected.

And, like most of Hollywood’s own testosterone-fueled prognosticators, we got caught with our pants down on our fifth pick: Sex and The City, which (like Mama Mia!) flooded America’s theaters with a tidal wave of estrogen, reminding the Suits that if you build good projects for women, they will come.

Thus, we essentially got three out of five of our bomb predictions right, for an overall batting average at LEAST as respectable as any four studio execs making double (triple? quadruple?) our salaries at Universal, Warner Bros., Paramount, etc.

As for our individual scores, I’ve included our original predictions below, annotated to indicate whether the films in question turned out to be unqualified hits (H) or bombs (B). Films that had respectable box office without quite qualifying as full-scale hits (for one reason or another) are identified with an (R), while disappointments that didn’t leave full-scale bomb craters are marked with a (D). And Hellboy II: the Golden Army is a push, since it didn’t exactly light up the box office, but still did better than 2004’s Hellboy.

HIT PREDICTIONS:

Leonard Pierce

1. The Dark Knight (H)

2. Kung Fu Panda (H)

3. Speed Racer (B)

4. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (R)

5. What Happens In Vegas (R)

Scott Von Doviak

1. The Dark Knight (H)

2. Iron Man (H)

3. Hancock (R)

4. Prince Caspian (R)

5. Indiana Jones (H)

Paul Clark

1. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (H)

2. Hancock (R)

3. The Dark Knight (H)

4. Wall*E (H)

5. Iron Man (H)

Andrew Osborne

1. Indiana Jones (H)

2. The Dark Knight (H)

3. Prince Caspian (R)

4. Pineapple Express (R)

5. American Teen (D)

BOMB PREDICTIONS:

Leonard Pierce

1. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (H)

2. The Incredible Hulk (R)

3. Hancock (R)

4. Get Smart (R)

5. Sex and the City (H)

Scott Von Doviak

1. The Happening (D)

2. Sex and the City (H)

3. You Don’t Mess With the Zohan (R)

4. The Love Guru (B)

5. The Incredible Hulk (R)

Paul Clark

1. Speed Racer (B)

2. The Incredible Hulk (R)

3. The Love Guru (B)

4. Get Smart (R)

5. Wanted (R)/Hellboy II: The Golden Army (Push)

Andrew Osborne

1. The Love Guru

2. The Incredible Hulk (R)

3. Speed Racer (B)

4. Wall*E (H)

5. Hancock (R)

Thus, after totaling our individual scores (with a secret Price-Waterhousian formula too arcane to explain at length), it seems PAUL CLARK is Screengrab’s reigning Chief Prognosticator, with the most accurate Hit AND Miss predictions for Summer ’08.

(Please send any and all cushy studio job offers to Mr. Clark, care of Screengrab@Nerve.com.)

Morning Deal Report: MTV’s “Rocky Horror” Remake Heralds End of Civilization

Scott Von Doviak — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Maybe “end of civilization” is overstating the case a tad, but surely no good can come of the news that MTV is producing a remake of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’ve ever been part of the Rocky Horror cult. I went to one midnight show in Harvard Square more than 20 years ago, and that was enough for me. It was fun once, but I never felt the urge to return every week to chant “Lips!” and throw toilet paper. Still, I admire the fact that Rocky Horror developed its cult following the old fashioned way, as one of the last genuine “midnight movies.” It was comforting to know it was out there, even if I never intended to return. Now it’s just another item for the pop culture recycle bin, as Variety reports that Britain’s satellite channel Sky Movies will co-finance the remake. “Under the deal, the remake of the 1975 cult classic will premiere exclusively in the U.K. on Sky Movies before becoming available on VOD services Sky Player and Sky Anytime.” No cast has been named, although rumors have Marilyn Manson in the running for Dr. Frank N. Furter. Tim Curry wept.

Elsewhere in the recycle bin, we find sequels to both Madagascar and Kung Fu Panda in the works. Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa is imminent, but Dreamworks honcho Jeffrey Katzenberg doesn’t expect the franchise to end there. Katzenberg told the Hollywood Reporter that “there is at least one more chapter. We ultimately want to see the characters make it back to New York.” Don’t we all? As for Panda, nothing is official yet. “We've started conversations about it, and I think in the next 30 or 60 days, we'll be able to talk completely about that,” says Katzenberg. We’ll be waiting.

In gangster movie news, “Lucky” Luciano is getting a big screen biopic. Crash co-screenwriter Bobby Moresco has been tapped to pen the script, which will detail “Luciano's rise from Lower East Side street hood to architect of the organized crime syndicate,” according to Variety. Producer Joseph Isgro, once rumored to have ties to the Gambino family, claims “his project benefits by having rights and input from a true ‘guy behind the guy’ figure, a longtime Luciano confidante Isgro wouldn't name.” So much for omerta.

Related:
MTV Movie Awards Continue to Exist
Screengrab Predicts: The Top 5 Hits of Summer 2008

Cannes Rundown: Day 2

Paul Clark — Fri, 16 May 2008 04:36:00 GMT

Let’s run down the selection from Day 2, shall we?

Jeffrey Wells on Nuri Bilge Ceylan’s Three Monkeys- “I was in a fairly excited state because I knew -- I absolutely knew -- I was seeing the first major film of the festival. Three Monkeys is about focus and clarity in every sense of those terms, but it was mainly, for me, about stunning performances -- minimalist acting that never pushes and begins and ends in the eyes who are quietly hurting every step of the way.”

Salon.com’s Andrew O’Hehir on Waltz With Bashir- “Dredging up these dreadful memories may have been therapeutic for the men involved, but the point of "Waltz With Bashir" is bigger than that. It's a provocative, strange and arresting film, whose unusual blend of style and substance should reach a large worldwide audience.”

Jay Weissberg in Variety on Leonora- “Confirming the superb compositional eye he revealed in "Born and Bred," helmer Pablo Trapero creates a suitably enclosed world focused on an accused pregnant murderess through jail and childbirth, witnessing the development of mother and child as the rusty wheels of Argentinean justice creak slowly along.”

And finally, Allen Hunter of ScreenDaily on Kung Fu Panda- “The storyline of finding the hero inside yourself is no less obvious but is given a sprightly freshness by the breathless pace, attention to detail and sheer good fun on offer. It might not be an instant classic but it is extremely entertaining and a definite crowd-pleaser.”

Screengrab Predicts: The Top 5 Hits of Summer 2008

Andrew Osborne — Thu, 01 May 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Studio executives, like TV weathermen, can be wrong half the time and still make a pretty fine living. One major difference, of course, is “The Suits” in Hollywood spend zillions on publicity and advertising campaigns to attempt to make their forecasts come true...and even then, they’re only right about half the time when it comes to cinematic hits and misses.

We here at the Screengrab will take that action. With the 2008 Blockbuster Season bearing down on us LIKE A RADIOACTIVE SPACE BUS THAT TRANSFORMS INTO A GIANT ROBOT LOADED WITH EXPLOSIVES, we hereby offer our predictions for the summer’s Top 5 Hits and Misses, in hopes of scoring ourselves sweet development deals based on our uncanny pop culture pulse-fingering prognostication abilities.

For the purposes of this experiment, “HIT” and “MISS” will refer not to the critical reception or cinematic quality of the films in question (because, really, who cares about that stuff?). Instead, we’ll calculate the accuracy of our predictions based on each film’s domestic box office gross in relation to its marketing/production budget and the hype/expectation surrounding it.

Want to play along at home? Let us know your Top 5 picks for upcoming Summer Hits, and compare them to our collective and individual predictions. Whoever scores the most correct answers WINS A BRAND NEW IMAGINARY CAR!

And now, our picks for the Top 5 HITS of Summer 2008:

5. KUNG FU PANDA

This one's pretty easy to explain: (1) Kung fu. (2) Pandas. It's got something for everyone! (LP)

Plurality Opinion: Dreamworks' annual summer animated movie doesn't have the built-in audience of the Shrek franchise, but it should still do good family business for the three weeks before Wall*E hits screens. (PC)

Memorandum Opinion: I haven’t seen that Panda on any big plastic soda cups yet, but maybe I haven’t been hanging out in the right fast food restaurants or convenience stores. This movie just squeaked onto our list as a result of numerous split votes elsewhere...but who knows? Maybe panda is the new penguin! (AO)

4. IRON MAN

Another gamble here, but one worth betting on due to it being the first high-profile summer release. Iron Man isn't an icon like Batman or Spider-Man, but Paramount has done a bang-up job promoting the film, and the re-emergence of Robert Downey Jr. as a high-profile leading man is the kind of story that can do wonders for a movie's public awareness. (PC)

3. INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL

Come on, like it could possibly be anything else. Indiana Jones is one of the iconic characters in cinema. Who's not looking forward to this? Add to that the fact that the film's got next to no competition for the month or so after it's released and this is the one to beat. Here's hoping it's actually good. (PC)

Memorandum Opinion: I'm going to call this as a slight box office disappointment that nevertheless cracks the top five. Indy's heyday was a long time ago, and even Lucas and Spielberg seem to be trying to downplay expectations. (SV)

Dissenting Opinion: First of all, that title is just way too long. Titles more than 20 letters long are for artsy foreign movies. Second, is there really that big an audience for this outside of hardcore geek circles? The key demographic for summer action flicks wasn't even born when the LAST Indiana Jones movie came out. (LP)

2. THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN

Advance word is that the second in the Narnia series outdoes the first in terms of pacing, script, and special effects, but my guess is that it'll succeed because conservatives bitched so much about the previous movie not getting enough attention that America will guiltily drag themselves to see it just to shut them up. (LP)

Dissenting Opinion: The last installment in the Narnia franchise was a blockbuster, but that was released in December. In a more competitive summer season, it should have a solid opening weekend before getting trounced by Indiana Jones. (PC)

1. THE DARK KNIGHT

There's pretty much no way this thing will bomb. Even if it had a bad director, a crummy script, an unpopular main character, and a poorly-designed set, geeks would flock to it in droves. But it doesn't have any of those things, AND one of its stars died mysteriously during filming! That's money in the bank, people. (LP)

Let's see: blockbuster sequel, over a solid year's worth of hype, extensive viral marketing campaign, hugely popular hero and villain, and to top it off, a much-buzzed final complete performance by Heath Ledger. Even non-Batfans are going to want to get a load of his Joker, which should push The Dark Knight to the top of the heap. (SV)

Batman is back in the public's good graces after the awesomeness of Batman Begins, and this one's got the most popular of Bat-villains, The Joker. And sad to say, but the hype around the late Mr. Ledger's performance will only help the movie's chances at the box office. (PC)

HONORABLE MENTION:

HANCOCK:

Will Smith. July 4. Action, comedy, superheroes, you name it. It's got practically everything one could ask for from a midsummer release. (PC)

WALL*E

Here's where things get a little less certain. Sure, WALL-E is a Disney/Pixar release, with all the family cachet that implies. However, it may not be as cuddly as some of the family favorites Pixar has made in the past. Still, this is the highest-profile family-friendly release of the summer, so this is the one to beat. Besides, if Pixar can strike box-office gold with rats in a kitchen... (PC)

TROPIC THUNDER

Historically, August is the time when comedy re-emerges as box-office gold. After months of blockbuster bloat, audiences will want to laugh again, and this movie- starring Ben Stiller and newly-hot Robert Downey Jr.- looks to have the most potential for success. (PC)

AMERICAN TEEN

An instant America’s sweetheart cuddly “rebel” poster girl and a trailer that’s so John Hughes accessible that megaplex audiences may not realize it’s a documentary until it’s too late to get their money back may turn this Sundance fave into an indie hit (at the very least) and maybe even a real live mainstream smash. (AO)

PINEAPPLE EXPRESS

If the rabid anticipation of this flick by the teenage dudes at my last family gathering bears any relation to the feelings of teenage dudes across the nation, this could be a sleeper hit. Plus: Apatow. (AO)

WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS

With a combination of everyone's favorite annoying jackass, Ashton Kutcher, and a title drawn from an ad campaign predicated on date rape, fatal drug overdoses, and dead hookers, how can it miss? (LP)

***

The above list reflects the combined, weighted picks of four of our resident Screengrab know-it-alls. Below, our original ballots:

Leonard Pierce

1. The Dark Knight

2. Kung Fu Panda

3. Speed Racer

4. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

5. What Happens In Vegas

Scott Von Doviak

1. The Dark Knight

2. Iron Man

3. Hancock

4. Prince Caspian

5. Indiana Jones

Paul Clark

1. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

2. Hancock

3. The Dark Knight

4. Wall*E

5. Iron Man

Andrew Osborne

1. Indiana Jones

2. The Dark Knight

3. Prince Caspian

4. The Pineapple Express

5. American Teen

-- Contributors: Andrew Osborne, Paul Clark, Scott Von Doviak, Leonard Pierce

Trailer Roundup: Cassandra's Dream, Kung Fu Panda, Rambo

Peter Smith — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 21:00:00 GMT

Cassandra’s Dream

Like Match Point two years ago, Cassandra’s Dream is being sold as a standard-issue British-made thriller, with Woody Allen's name withheld until the very end of the trailer. And like Match Point, this is by all accounts a crime drama steeped in class envy (reports from Toronto were respectful but unenthusiastic). What intrigues me most about this isn’t the crime stuff but the familial issues in play, with working-class brothers Ewan McGregor and Colin Farrell (notice the accents) coming to rich uncle Tom Wilkinson to borrow money. At this point, the movie could go either way, but I’d rather see Allen make movies like this than the mostly lame comedies he’s been churning out since Small Time Crooks.

Kung Fu Panda

Not that Dreamworks Animation has ever been especially committed to craft, but now that they’re banging out two movies a year all quality control has more or less been shot to hell. I imagine this pitch sounding like a pot-addled college student’s late-night ramblings: "Dude! You know how there are different kinds of kung fu named after, like, animals? Wouldn’t it be awesome if you could, y’know, see all the different animals doing the different kinds of kung fu! And there would be a panda, and he’s all fat and funny and he can’t do kung fu at all; now that would be a great movie. They could get Jack Black to be the panda. . . that would be sweet, right?" In fact, the more I think about it, the more I’m inclined to think that this isn’t even for real. It’s not, is it? Also, where’s Hamster Style?

Rambo

Years from now, there’s going to be a certain amount of confusion as to which Rambo is which. To wit — First Blood is the first Rambo movie, the second installment is Rambo: First Blood Part II, nobody will bother with Rambo III, and the upcoming fourth movie is simply called Rambo. Complicated enough for you? Anyway, when I first heard that Stallone was making another Rambo movie, my initial reaction was one of eye-rolling disbelief. But that changed when I saw last December’s Rocky Balboa, a movie that was cornball and far-fetched, but as endearing as Rocky’s old dog Butkus. So yes, the image of a sixty year old Stallone taking on guerrillas in the jungles of Myanmar is a little hard to take seriously, but I’m rooting for Rambo to be good, or at least fun. Yeah, I’ll take fun.

— Paul Clark