DVD O'Digest for March 17, 2009

Paul Clark — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 14:00:00 GMT

This week, the much-ballyhooed Luck of the Irish doesn’t extend to DVD shoppers, who will find little in the way of worthwhile recent releases to add to their collections. Nonetheless, there’s worthy stuff hitting the market today, provided you know where to look.

This week’s haul of recent releases is headed by Will Smith’s latest attempt to curry Academy favor, Gabriele Muccino’s Seven Pounds (Sony, also Blu-Ray). Other movies hitting stores today include the animated family film The Tale of Despereaux (Universal, also Blu-Ray), the comic book-inspired revenge actioner Punisher: War Zone (Lionsgate, also Blu-Ray), and Ben Kingsley and Penelope Cruz in Elegy (Sony). Also, this weekend brings the release of two new DVDs starring newly-anointed star Kristen Stewart- the smash vampire-teen blockbuster Twilight and the Mary Stuart Masterson-directed indie drama The Cake Eaters, the movie that answers the question, “whatever happened to Mary Stuart Masterson?”

In the classics department, the big news this week is the release of Akira Kurosawa’s first color film, Dodes’ka-den (Criterion). I’ve yet to see it myself, but according to a number of critics, Dodes’ka-den is second-tier Kurosawa. All the same, it’s still Kurosawa, so I’m eager to give it a look. Also this week: The Robe Special Edition (Fox, also Blu-Ray), a lumbering biblical picture that’s justly remembered solely for being the first Cinemascope release; and the box set Eclipse Series 15: Travels With Hiroshi Shimizu, featuring four titles from this Japanese auteur.

In TV on DVD, this week brings Mr. Belvedere Seasons 1 and 2 (Universal). And in Blu-Ray only news, the highlights this week are the sword-and-sandal epic Quo Vadis (Fox) and the eighties favorite The Princess Bride (MGM).

Finally, I’d like to close this column introducing a new feature with this week’s DVD Digest, spotlighting the most bizarre DVD synopsis of any of this week’s new releases. Despite some competition from a movie that described itself as “a horrific thriller in the vein of Captivity (who’d want to be associated with Captivity???), the inaugural winner of the prize was the Media Blasters’ DVD entitled Booby Life. Here’s the synopsis, courtesy of DVD Planet:

Naoto, your run-of-the-mill young dude with a thing for top-heavy women, is the luckiest bum in the world. Ayane, a busty babe he's known for almost all his life, has a thing for him and lets him have his way with her anytime he wants. On top of that, Chika, another one of his chesty childhood friends, has just a big a crush on him too. When she says to him, "My boobs belong to you," there's no way any guy with a healthy sex drive can resist. There's now only two hard things in Naoto's life now, and one of them is choosing between two gorgeous hotties!

So much for a slow DVD week, eh?

Geek Love: The Ten Sexiest Nerds in Cinema, Gen-XX Edition (Part Deux)

Andrew Osborne — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 20:30:00 GMT

5. MARY STUART MASTERSON AS DANNI IN HEAVEN HELP US AND WATTS IN SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL

Danni in the 1960s-era Catholic school comedy Heaven Help Us would surely have been too cool for me in the real world, but the tomboy drummer Watts was a perfect fantasy: the groovy gal pal who’s been secretly pining for you all along -- then, when you finally catch wise, she’s dressed in a sleek, Goth-y chauffeur’s uniform. Tellingly, in John Hughes’ gender-flipped version of the same story (Pretty In Pink), Jon Cryer’s groovy guy pal, Duckie secretly pines for Molly Ringwald’s Andie, but then has to just suck it while she runs off with...yes, another popular hunk.

4. MICHELLE MEYRINK AS JORDAN COCHRAN IN REAL GENIUS

I wouldn’t have been smart enough for Jordan Cochran’s motor-mouthed, socially awkward “Pacific Tech” brainiac, but it was nice to know cute girls could be hyper, too!

3. THORA BIRCH AS JANE BURNHAM IN AMERICAN BEAUTY AND ENID IN GHOST WORLD

I’d evolved from a hopelessly geeky adolescent to a somewhat less geeky adult by the time Thora Birch became the definitive fin de siècle geek girl, but her sultry slow-burn cynicism (and surprisingly huge breasts) put the “It” in her misfits. (Scarlett Johnasson in Ghost World, meanwhile, is one of the hottest screen characters of all time, but ScarJo as a nerdy misfit is about as believable as Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist.)

2. CARRIE FISHER AS PRINCESS LEIA IN RETURN OF THE JEDI

The iconic, the unforgettable, the indisputable chain mail bikini. Even my gay nerd friends wanted a piece o’ that.

1. ALYSON HANNIGAN AS MICHELLE FLAHERTY IN AMERICAN PIE

A goofy, accessible, redhead nymphomaniac played by the actress who played the lesbian witch (and the evil vampire lesbian witch) on Buffy the Vampire Slayer? My friends, we have a winner.

And now that we've got you all lathered up in a hot geek frenzy, we'd love to know the nerds that steam up YOUR Coke-bottle glasses...and stay tuned for next week's list of Top Ten Brainy BOYS!

Click here for Part 1!

The Screengrab : Mary Stuart Masterson

DVD O'Digest for March 17, 2009

Geek Love: The Ten Sexiest Nerds in Cinema, Gen-XX Edition (Part Deux)