It’s time for everyone’s favorite occasional feature, wherein I preview a handful of upcoming movies I know nothing about based solely on their posters. It’s like judging a book by its cover, but in motion picture form!
Dragonball Evolution (April 10)

An ordinary suburban paperboy is infused with superpowers when a meteor from deep space crashes into his crotch, leaving him with one giant glowing testicle he calls Dragonball! They said this controversial graphic novel was unfilmable, but when the new line of Dragonball action figures hits toy stores next week, the streets will be filled with kids hucking rocks at each other’s family jewels.
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