The January 2009 issue of U.K. Cosmopolitan includes an interview with Scarlett Johansson in which the blushing bride talks about her marriage to Ryan Reynolds and explains just what it is that the star of National Lampoon's Van Wilder has that you ain't got, chum. The British Cosmo reported that Johansson told them that "Ryan has a very romantic side. We both enjoy remembering little things that make us happy." And: "This is a very beautiful time for me. Getting married is a huge moment in anyone's life, and the few months leading up to it were a little crazy." Giggling girlishly, she also confided that she "has at no point granted U.K. Cosmopolitan an interview", and she has never discussed her personal relationships with the publication." Oops, no, that was Johansson's spokesman Marcel Pariseau, issuing a statement that the quotes were "wholly fabicated" and constituted an "obvious attempt...to gain monetarily by misinforming their readers." The eagle-eyed Perez Hilton, who gets on-line gossip brownie points for having described it as "unusual" that "the usually very private Scarlet Johansson is speaking out about her marriage" before the scandal broke, reports that the magazine is distancing itself from the writer responsible for the "interview" by issuing a statement that "We ran these quotes in good faith with the understanding that the interview was carried out with the approval of Ms. Johansson and her publicist. UK Cosmopolitan is taking the complaints by Ms. Johansson's publicist seriously and is investigating the matter further."

This is a very sad affair, but make no mistake: the saddest part of it is what it says about the sorry, uninspired state of irresponsible celebrity journalism.

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