Alvin and the Chipmunks



There's a special place in Hell reserved for the makers of crappy kids' movies. Just because kids will watch just about anything doesn't give Hollywood license to sell them shoddy goods. It seems nearly impossible to find a big-budget non-Pixar kids' movie these days that doesn't contain self-aware pop-culture jokes and the unholy triumvirate of "family-friendly" gags- poop, flatulence, and "ow, my balls!" But while contenders for the dubious honor of 2007's worst trailer were plentiful, ranging from Cuba Gooding Jr. and the fat white guy who suffers most of the painful gags in Daddy Day Camp to the farting seals of Arctic Tale, the worst of all was almost certainly Alvin and the Chipmunks, a mix of CGI and live-action from the visionary who brought you Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties. What exactly puts this over the top? Is it the oh-so-hip musical stylings of a trio of singing rodents crooning that cutting-edge hit "Funky Town?" The sight of Jason Lee managing, by simply appearing onscreen, to outdo the indignity he suffered making Underdog? The presence of a clearly slumming David Cross? The spectacle of Alvin farting in Lee's face? Actually, I'd say it's none of these things. Instead, I'd argue that what makes this an odious phenomenon is the idea that, now that the studios have pillaged the pop culture touchstones of our youth in the name of nostalgia, they've even more cynically begun adapting material that wasn't even very good to begin with, repackaging it for a new generation of undiscerning kids. It's times like these that make me glad I don't have kids.

The setup: After writing the screenplays for The Empire Strikes Back and Raiders of the Lost Ark, Lawrence Kasdan made his directorial debut with the acclaimed neo-noir Body Heat. He’s worked in numerous genres, but is best known for ensemble dramas like Grand Canyon, The Accidental Tourist, and 1983’s baby boomer favorite The Big Chill. So it seemed a bit odd for him to take on a Stephen King novel.

What went wrong?: A far cry from the relatively straightforward thrillers that made King’s reputation, Dreamcatcher is an ambitious, uneasy mix of story elements — lifelong friendships, disgusting monsters, mysterious powers, and military power gone mad. It begins as a downbeat drama about four childhood buddies, now grown up, dealing with the strange talents bestowed on them in childhood by a fifth, mentally-challenged boy called Duddits. The setup holds such promise that it’s disheartening how far astray the rest of the film goes.  

Read More...