Hey, Pansy Nation. Why don’t you get your fat faces out of your computer screens for five minutes and go get some fresh air? Maybe do a push-up or something. Y’know, when they asked me to host the Highlight Reel this week, I figured I was gonna be showing clips of The Outlaw Josey Wales and Any Which Way You Can. I didn’t realize the Screengrab was nothing but a bunch of limp-wristed globbers. Well, I never had a glob. Never saw the need for it. What am I gonna do, sit around writing about Strangers in a Strange Land: Screengrab’s Favorite Fish-Out-of-Water Stories (Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five and Six)? Hell no, I’ve got boars to shoot.

I’ve never been to Sundance, either. I always figured it was just an excuse for Redford and his pinko friends to hit the slopes before going back to the lodge for tea and fairycakes. But I guess if you care, you can read about Five Must-See Documentaries, Ten Must-See Narrative Features (Parts One and Two) and Five Movies to Skip. Hell, you can even read about Slamdance if you want.

Here’s some more crap I don’t care about:

Screengrab 2009 Preview: Paul Clark’s Picks and Scott Von Doviak’s Picks

Keyword Theater: The Winter Edition

Screengrab Live Blogs the Golden Globes

Nine-Point Plans

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button's Undeserved Oscar Buzz

Patrick McGoohan, 1928 – 2009

Netflix Killed the Video Store…Or Did It?

Why Must Steve Martin Suck?