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It's Really Not Looking Good for Ex-Domino's You Tube Woman

Colleen Kane — Thu, 07 May 2009 19:21:00 GMT

You remember Kristy Hammonds as one of two hapless stars of a home video on You Tube featuring them violating health codes and generally being disgusting while preparing food, which promptly got them fired.

Now, surprise surprise, 31-year-old Kristy is having a hard time find a new job in the fast food business, and she told ABC News that she has become an outcast and can't feed her children.

But that isn't even the worst of her problems.

In addition to the felony count of food tampering, Kristy is already a registered sex offender, charged with three counts of statutory rape of a 14-year-old girl, to which she pleaded guilty to the reduced count sexual battery.

The children, conceived through a sperm donor, are aged 4 and 8 months, and one has special needs. As this story gets more attention, we're wondering how much longer she'll have to worry about feeding them.

Related:

Food We Do NOT Want To F*ck (Or Eat, For That Matter): Domino's

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Video of the Day: An Oldie But a Goodie

Emily Farris — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 21:35:00 GMT

A tipster sent us this Guinness commercial with the subject line "Best. Ad. Ever." and while it's maybe a little sexist, and at least six months old, we sort-of have to agree.

Related:

Let The Superbowl Commercials Begin, And Watch Justin Timberlake Get His Junk Crushed

Video of the Day: Doctors in The Philippines Remove a Can From a Man's Ass, Get a Good Laugh

Video of the Day: Barbie and Ken (and Some Guy) Make a Porno

Does that Womb Broom Belong to a Porn Star or a Politician?

Emily Farris — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 20:17:00 GMT

Porn stars and politicians have two things in common. 1. They know how to rock mustaches. 2. They get paid to screw us (sorry, but they do).

But can you tell the difference between a porn star and a politician based on his lip service?

The folks at 23/6 want to know if you can. Unfortunately we can't embed their video Guess the stache-Democrat or Porn Star? here. But you should go play. Now.

I Hate Myself for Loving You: "Men in Trees"

"Pinups" Issue No. 5 Gets a 10

Crush of the Week: Vivienne Westwood's Bear

Retired NYPD Officer Has Mustache of the Year

There's a Mustache Party and You're All Invited

Mustaches For Kids NY Was a Big Success!

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Vintage Clips: Bill O'Reilly Flips the F*ck Out

Emily Farris — Wed, 14 May 2008 13:33:00 GMT

New York Anchorwoman Sue Simmons has nothing on Bill O'Reilly. But we already knew that, didn't we?

[via The Amber Show]

Video of the Day: Why Must Reh Dogg Cry?

Emily Farris — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:12:00 GMT

Forgive us if you've seen this before (our archives only go back to October and this video is about a year old), but we've just been introduced to Reh Dogg and his absolutely, 100% seriously serious, sincere video of heartbreak, "Why Must I Cry?"

Comments have been disabled on Reh Dogg's YouTube page, but according to the friend who introduced us to this genius video, he wrote it after his wife left him and took their children with her. The lyrics seem to confirm this. It is really, really sad. And we just can't stop watching it. But pay close attention to the last frame; it's disturbing.

Love It Or Hate It? Obama in 30 Seconds

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 18:56:00 GMT

This is not an endorsement of Barack Obama on the day of the crucial Pennsylvania primary... and you'll certainly understand why after seeing these videos, since some of them are embarrassingly bad. Just because you "get" Obama, doesn't mean you can make a 30 second advertisement that is creative, fresh, passionate, memorable, and effective.

Check out some examples of both the best and worst of a small chunk of the 1,100 videos submitted for MoveOn's contest. Let us know how terrible or inspiring you think they are... and apologies for the jarring auto-play these are all set to...

Today in Advertising Porn: Schweppes' "Burst"

Emily Farris — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 15:48:00 GMT

We like to think we're not easily subjected to advertising, but we are. At least we know it, right? Still, sometimes we come across commercials that are so beautifully done, we wonder if the ad people care more about the quality of the commercial than selling the product. Because "Burst," the newest commercial for Schweppes, doesn't really make us want to drink Gingerale. No, it makes us want to do 'shrooms and have a water balloon fight with the most colorful balloons we can find. And maybe put warm water in them. Anyway, watch it; it's beautiful (and no, that's not Coldplay providing the track, don't worry. It's the Cinematic Orchestra..though maybe Chris Martin is singing for them?).

96 Million People Like CSS's "Music is My Hot Hot Sex". Or Maybe Just One Robot.

Bryan Christian — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 16:04:00 GMT

CSS's "Music is My Hot Hot Sex" -- y'know, that song from the iPhone ad -- is the most popular video ever on YouTube. Now lest you think the world is secretly being overrun by iPhone-owning Brazilian electro-hipsters and you didn't get the memo, don't fear; it's probably just one very big, highly-automated fan.

The video's come-from-nowhere success however has left many YouTube fans asking questions about the unprecedented traffic spike, with many suggesting that the books may have been cooked.
An in-depth analysis of the YouTube statistics by blogger Andy Baio also suggests inconsistencies in the traffic surge.
Biao points out that an examination of hits compared with user ratings shows that the Brazilian video has what he described as "a very unusual 21,487-to-1 ratio" of views-to-ratings.
He calculated the average ratio for every other video in the top 10 to be 590:1, which is consistent with a ratio of 545:1 for the top 500 YouTube videos.
In other words, far fewer viewers are leaving a recommendation after watching Music is My Hot Hot Sex than is the case across the board.
This may indicate the use of an automated, non-human method to inflate the clicks.

Hey, does anyone else remember that movie Stealth from a few years ago where the sentient superplane is listening to music online and Josh Whatshisface goes "What's he downloading?" and the tech guy is like "Everything" and you're supposed to go "Wow, that's a lot of music..."? Well? What do you think? Proof that superintelligent superplanes totally exist and are into Brazlilan electro? Or can you just not handle the truth?

Live From New York, It's... Hillary Clinton!

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 05:01:00 GMT

Hillary Clinton is #1 today, at least on YouTube. With the early Nicholson-sponsored video and now this, her surprise (yet still somehow expected) appearance on Saturday Night Live, the Senator from New York is stealing the spotlight from Barack Obama just as he was beginning to pull away.

Hillary disappeared from the campaign trail over the weekend, leaving some reporters confused and without any material for today's attack pieces on her. She ended up with mostly positive reviews, although it seems unlikely that even this will offset losing a day of campaigning in Texas. Here are some comments from the Washington Post's blog:

It was a brilliant idea given the circumstances - it showed grace under pressure. It could nudge young undecided voters towards Clinton.

An excellent consolation prize for her eventually losing the nomination.

The SNL skit was degrading. Obama was made to look like an idiot, and an ugly one at that. The way they emphasized the racial aspect by exaggerating his features to me was a very uncomfortable race-baiting tactic. I absolutely was revolted by the whole thing.

I don't think it will nudge any young undecideds in one direction or another. Mostly because nobody watches SNL anymore.

Senator Clinton is definitely on the comeback trail. I think she'll win in Ohio and win or come close enough in Texas to give her strength to move on to Pennsylvania. Dems should not disenfranchise Pennsylvania along with Florida and Michigan!!!

What say you? Everyone jump into the comments section...

[Photo: KATU TV]

Obama + Hillary = Love At Last Sight

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 19:30:00 GMT

Damn. Talk about a dream (boat) of a ticket.

Can you imagine the genius babies that would come out of these two? We're not even talking about the legislation as co-presidents (plus Bill to complete the love triangle!) Stranger things happen every day in politics, people, so we wouldn't rule out an Obama-Clinton love affair. And this video all but proves it's been going on... right... under... our noses.

[Thanks to CamPain 2008]

Video of the Day: Future Juno or Future Genius?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 14:30:00 GMT

This girl would make an awesome screenwriter, way better than that Thesaurus-plagiarizer Cody El Diablo.

She can pitch better than most collaborators we've worked with. As a filmmaker, one needs a cut-to-the-chase style smooth talker to get through the thick skulls of people like Ron Howard and the rest of the execs. This girl is our hero of the day, and possibly of all time...

Vagina Punch Video Game Montage

Emily Farris — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 16:14:00 GMT

Have you ever been punched in the vagina? It hurts. More than you might expect. And while we don't have the same cringing response to this vagina punch video game montage as men might have to watching dudes take a fist down there (and not in a fun way), we feel for these video game characters from Fighter Maker 2 — which should really just be called Vagina Punch (or Labia Punch for those of you who like to be technical).

[YouTube via YesButNoButYes]

Lisa Nova's Valentine's Day Tips

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 21:30:00 GMT

We've always been a sucker for hot chicks who read... Charles Bukowski?

Aside from the very unladylike reading choices, Lisa Nova is pretty frickin' awesome... dig these tips for guys (and gals) on how to make Thursday the Thursday to remember from this week...

Maggie Gyllenhaal Waits for No AMPTP, And Her Hair Does Look Great

Emily Farris — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:11:00 GMT

One thing we can say for the writers' strike, it's making for some good YouTube content. So, how do we get the writers paid and keep them writing stuff like this?