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Fox News Thinks Madonna Broke A-Rod's Rod

Emily Farris — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 15:01:00 GMT

You've gotta hand it to Fox News for at least being blatant about their rumor mongering. We know the whole A-Rod, Madonna, Lenny Kravitz thing is a little hard to follow, but we really need you to put on your thinking caps for this one. Based on the Yankees' disabled list and Madonna's promotional tour schedule, Fox News thinks Madonna may have injured A-Rod herself...

Let’s start an urban legend. This one is about Madonna and Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez...

A-Rod’s second child, Ella, was born April 21 in Miami. He flew down, arrived 10 minutes after her birth, looked at her, and headed back to New York.

It’s unclear where he was between the 22nd and the 24th, when he missed three games in Chicago against the White Sox. During that time, Madonna premiered her documentary about Malawi with loads of Kabbalah propaganda on April 23 at the Tribeca Film Festival. A-Rod rejoined the Yankees on April 25 in Cleveland.

Then Rodriguez attended Madonna’s half-hour promotional show at the Roseland Ballroom in New York on April 30.

But no one’s mentioned that just the day before, April 29, the Yankees placed A-Rod on the 15-day disabled list. It was the first time he’d been on such a list since the year 2000.

That's some serious barrel scraping, if you ask us.

We want to not care about this, but if Madonna's 50-year-old vagina is strong enough to injure a professional athlete's penis, we just started caring about this story. Hell, if they both just pulled some muscles we're still at little intrigued.

Thanks, FOXNews, for giving us more fake crap to fill our brains with. You think we didn't have enough to worry about already with Mini Me's sex tape and what really happens at third base. Hey, maybe A-Rod can answer that last one for us.

[FoxNews: Did Madonna Injure A-Rod?]

Related:

A-Rod Brainwashed By Hot Madonna or Religious Madonna?

**The A-Rod, Madonna, Lenny Kravitz Clusterf*ck**

The A-Rod, Madonna, Lenny Kravitz Clusterf*ck

Emily Farris — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 18:06:00 GMT

We've been avoiding the news that Madonna's marriage to Guy Ritchie may be falling apart and that she may or may not be turning to Yankee's player Alex Rodriguez for sexual healing because, frankly, we don't care all that much. But then they had to go and bring Lenny Kravitz into the mix.

Now it seems that A-Rod's wife is dating Lenny Kravitz, who supposedly dated Madonna when he contributed to 1990's "Justify My Love."

Got it straight?

Okay, to recap (please assume that all of these "facts" have an "apparently" or "supposedly" in front of them):

Madonna and Guy Ritchie are headed towards splitsville.

Madonna has been sneaking around with Alex Rodriguez.

Alex Rodriguez's wife has been spending "cozy time" in Paris with Lenny Kravitz, who used to date Madonna.

Whew.

[Us: Report: Alex Rodriguez's Wife Seeing Lenny Kravitz, Madonna's Ex]

Related:

Hot or Not: Madonna's Hard Candy?

Who Would You Rather: Chrissie Hynde vs. Madonna?

Madonna's Sexlife Threatened By Keebler Elves

Lenny Kravitz Corroborates Adriana Lima's Claim to Virginity?

The Craziest Fans In Sports?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 06 May 2008 17:39:00 GMT

The Terror Alert Level has been elevated again after the President warned of possible sectarian violence between Yankees fans and Red Sox fans.

This follows the arrest of Ivonne Hernandez of New Hampshire on charges of second-degree murder and drunk driving, stemming from an incident on Friday night at a Nashau sports bar...

According to prosecutors and various reports... Hernandez drove at a group of people outside Slade's Food & Spirits... hitting and killing 29-year-old Matthew Beaudoin... The incident was reportedly sparked after Hernandez identified herself as a Yankees fan and someone in Beaudoin's group started chanting "Yankees suck!"

What happened to a good ribbing at your rival's expense? (More importantly, when did Lizzie Grubman get out on bail?)

When we were kids, we were really into baseball... and deathly afraid of Yankees fans. A friend's Dad told us this story (which we have put in our own words):

In the late seventies or early 80s, when Rod Carew was still playing for the Twins, I went to a Red Sox game at Fenway Park with an old friend of mine. This friend knew Rod Carew and Rod got us seats near the dugout. He came out to say hello before the game started and at the end of the conversation, asked us if we wanted anything, you know, from inside the baseball inner-world. I brazenly requested a Red Sox baseball cap from the actual Red Sox dugout. Rod nodded and went straight to their bench to ask for one.
I kept that cap for years-- you could say it was my most prized possession. Rod went on to the California Angels and although I've always been a Sox fan, I supported and admired him all his career. One year, I was at Yankee Stadium for a Yankees-Red Sox game and wore the hat Rod Carew had given me. At some point, as the game heated up, a man approached me with a knife in his hand. After a pause, he said, "Give me that hat." When I gave it to him, he set it on fire.