Scanner : x-files

The XXX Files: Mulder Loves Poon, Porn, Or... Scully?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 17:22:00 GMT

This post was written by Sean Flanagan, our guest blogger, and Brian Fairbanks

As Scanner Brian told you this morning, David Duchovny joined the League of Hollywood Horndogs and has now entered rehab for Bill Clintonitis: sex addiction...

Please, look up at the picture now.

Him?

To have rehab worthy addiction, and to assume a public embarrassment, one must assume that he was wanting it (and maybe even getting it) so much that sex became detrimental to his family life and career.

Him? That guy with the cup over his balls? He's married to Tea Leoni. We don't blame him for having sexual addiction. (Unless, of course, this is really all about homey having a hooker habit. That or he couldn't stop rubbing up against his co-workers. Or the corner of tables and desks to get off. Or... or or or...)

Mulder, please get better. We would really like to see an X-Files 3, one that would actually answer any of the convoluted plot points that the series ended on instead of a mediocre stand-alone story that was basically a rip off of Silence of the Lambs with Frankensteins.

Which sounds cool on paper, I don't blame you for doing it. But the world is supposed to end in 2012 and you were on the run from Super Soldiers. What happened?

Scully Wants Mulder To Die Masturbating in "X-Files 3"

Red Hot Chili Peppers Sue Showtime For Besmirching Their Sterling Reputation

Porn Poll: How Do You Like Your Porn?

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Hey, Leoben From Battlestar Galactica Is In The Brand New X-Files Movie Trailer!

Bryan Christian — Tue, 13 May 2008 18:01:00 GMT

How the frak did this slip past us?

(Sorry, occasionally we have to geek out beyond all comprehension.)

Anyways, have a look at the brand new trailer for The X-Files: I Want to Believe after the jump, courtesy IGN.

We think it looks OK, we guess -- certainly there's running around and people and, um, stuff -- but probably it would have been a billion times better without that stupid six-note musical cue from the original show's opening credits. What is that, an SK1? That shit was excusable for a while, but seriously, doesn't everyone just cringe when they hear that today?

Scully Wants Mulder To Die Masturbating in "X-Files 3"

Bryan Christian — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Not that it will actually happen, but this weekend at San Francisco's WonderCon -- that's like "nerdsplosion" if you don't speak geek -- Gillian Anderson gave us a saucy little peak at what she'd like to see in the next-next X-Files movie.

A fan asks the [X-Files 2] panel if there are any stories they wish they'd had a chance to explore in X-Files. After David Duchovny hems and haws about how the new movie is sort of exploring Picture of Dorian Gray, Gillian Anderson lets this one drop: "I always thought Mulder should have explored autoerotic asphyxiation. That'll be XF3."

OK, now if you're just a casual sci-fi enthusiast, you might be thinking "Woah, Scully's a total random perv!" But as any X-Files fan worth their weight in black oil will know, that's actually a joke referencing the Emmy-winning third season episode "Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose," which starred Peter Boyle as a bummed out psychic who predicts Mulder will die with his dick in his hand and a belt around his neck. So, there's probably a -1,013% chance that we'll actually see this happen.

And while we're on the subject, we're actually a little shocked that anyone greenlit another X-Files movie anyway -- but Anderson and Duchovny sure don't seem to be getting any uglier, so guess we're not really complaining.

Scanner : x-files

The XXX Files: Mulder Loves Poon, Porn, Or... Scully?

While You Were Sleeping: All The Harry Potter Kids Are Getting Naked

Scully Wants Mulder To Die Masturbating in "X-Files 3"

Red Hot Chili Peppers Sue Showtime For Besmirching Their Sterling Reputation

Porn Poll: How Do You Like Your Porn?

The Top 5 Hollywood Players Who Did Porn

Hey, Leoben From Battlestar Galactica Is In The Brand New X-Files Movie Trailer!

Scully Wants Mulder To Die Masturbating in "X-Files 3"