Scanner : who would you rather?

The Great Tina vs. Kate Debate Rages On

Emily Farris — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 22:05:00 GMT

Yesterday we asked which award winner you'd rather and the comments are still rolling in...

As Scanner Brian mentioned [yesterday] morning, Tina Fey and Kate Winslet are sweeping 2009 awards, both taking home Golden Globes and SAG honors. And in the spirit of keeping women catty and pitted against each other, we have to know which one you'd rather. So, who will it be? The challenger and funny girl of every man's dreams, Tina Fey, or our reigning champ from the WWYR Golden Globes Edition, the sultry Brit Kate Winslet? Decisions, decisions!

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Who Would You Rather: Tina Fey vs. Kate Winslet?

Emily Farris — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 23:13:00 GMT

As Scanner Brian mentioned this morning, Tina Fey and Kate Winslet are sweeping 2009 awards, both taking home Golden Globes and SAG honors. And in the spirit of keeping women catty and pitted against each other, we have to know which one you'd rather. So, who will it be? The challenger and funny girl of every man's dreams, Tina Fey, or our reigning champ from the WWYR Golden Globes Edition, the sultry Brit Kate Winslet? Decisions, decisions!

Related:

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[Image, Image]

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Colleen Kane — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 19:04:00 GMT

In this corner, Jim Jarmusch, and in this corner, David Lynch.

On what tenuous thread are we claiming this edition of Who'd You Rather is related to the news?

Here goes: David Lynch has a Twitter account in which he basically just gives the weather report for L.A. each morning. You can watch him do it, too, on his website. Also, one of the few Twitterers he follows is LeVar Burton, who some of you might rembember from a program called "Reading Rainbow" (also some show called "Star Trek" or something). Isn't DL loveable?

And Twitter is in the news because it broke the story of the plane in the Hudson yesterday, and also because Scanner Colleen and Scanner Emily had dual breakdowns in the past day in their resolve to not Twitter, and began tweeting or chirping or whatever you call it.

Soooo, who'd you rather?

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Who Would You Rather: Hot For Teacher Tournament

Colleen Kane — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 19:02:00 GMT

Inspired by the news of the latest teacher/student sexual liasons, more than 300 of which were allegedly perpetrated by married elementary teacher Christine McCallum (pictured, from Facebook) with a 13-year-old student after plying him with booze (waste booze much?), we decided it was time for a very important exercise: determining who of these allegedly/ definitely inappropriate teachers you, the readers, would rather. (Rather what? Er, "study under.")

Vote for your picks of the first two pairs of teachers, then those two winners will go on to compete against future winners, until we determine the favorite Teacher Gone Wild. We're told by someone who cares about sports that something called March Madness exists, where winners are determined in a similar fashion. Considering the amount of misbehaving teachers, this may very well go on until March and beyond.

First match: Newest teacher in trouble Christine McCallum. She seems to be saying, "Come 'n get it, tweens!"

VS.

Sandy Binkley, the 36-year-old Tennessee teacher who faces three felony counts of stautory rape after allegations of liasons with three different students.

And for the next match, in this corner we have everybody's favorite TILF, all-American beauty Debra Lafave, a married Tampa teacher who carried on with a 14-year-old student. (According to Jossip's roundup of rapey teachers, Nick Carter claims he lost his virginity to her.)

(We really don't see how anyone will beat this frontrunner, but we have to put her up against someone.)

VS.

Another classic, Pamela Smart, who pioneered this business way back in 1990 in New Hampshire, when she recruited her 15-year-old lovah and three other minors to kill her husband.

Related:

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Who Would You Rather: Golden Globes Edition (Kate vs. Sue)

Emily Farris — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 22:33:00 GMT

Even though she was left off of Scanner Ina's best dressed list for last night's Golden Globes, we think Kate Winslet looked amaaaaazing. We're glad her second speech went on and on and on because we didn't want to take our eyes off of her. Equally stunning, however, was the always beautiful Susan Sarandon (in her pants and all).

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Scanner's Woman of the Year: You Decide

Emily Farris — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 19:43:00 GMT

GOP Vice Presidential Nominee Sarah Palin vs. Eliot Spitzer's High Class Call Girl Ashley Alexandra Dupre

No, this is not a Who Would You Rather? (though, who would you rather?). It's just us asking you to help decide who should be Scanner's Woman of the Year. We had an easy time with Scanner's Man of the Year, and his penis, but we'll tell you all about that tomorrow.

Woman of the year was a little more difficult. There were two women who brought us more laughter, tears and page views than any other females all year. Now it's up to you to decide which lovely lady will be awarded this top honor.

The winner gets, at the very least, an open love letter and photo essay from Scanner Emily.

Related:

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Which Would You Rather: Small, Natural Boobs or Big, Fake Ones?

Emily Farris — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 21:51:00 GMT

Every time I complain to my double-D mom about the breast injustice in my family, she reminds me that "men would rather have lemon drops on an ironing board than fake ones." Then Scanner Brian posited this this morning and no one answered. Now we need to know, is it true?

Related:

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[Image, Image]

Who Would You Rather... for President: Paris or Palin?

Emily Farris — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 15:35:00 GMT

In a few short days, Paris Hilton's music video "Paris for President" will hit the Interwebs and the air waves. But a sneak peek has been released, and after watching it, we can't help but think that if Palin could do it, why not Paris? True, Palin has a little more political experience than Paris, but we're willing to put money on the fact that Paris wouldn't try to overturn Roe v. Wade.

So, who would you rather have in the in the White House? And by, have, we don't mean "have."

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Who Would You Rather: Joe "Boobies" Francis vs. Hugh Hefner?

Emily Farris — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 20:48:00 GMT

Girls Gone Wild creator Joe "Boobies" Francis has decided to pick a fight with Playboy papa Hugh Hefner. Not only did Francis make out with one of Hefner's girls next door, Kendra Wilkinson, he accused Hefner of running Playboy into the ground, telling PageSix "If you were Kendra and you looked at the Playboy stock price lately, wouldn't you think about upgrading?"

We never thought we'd say this, but Hugh Hefner has more class in his old, shriveled penis than Joe Francis has in his entire body. Now, the question is, can you handle the old, shriveled penis?

Related:

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Who Would You Rather: Michelle Pfeiffer vs. Julie Newmar

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 20:15:00 GMT

The release of the new Batman movie got us thinking about the next one, for which Christian Bale has already expressed interest, and how we feel it needs to include a certain element that's been missing from the first two...

...a really sexy female villain.

Catwoman appeared in Batman Returns in the form of Michelle Pfeiffer, but some people compared her unfavorably to Julie Newmar, who created the role for the TV series. Irregardless of acting talent, which of the two would you rather...?

Who Would You Rather: Founding Fathers Edition

Emily Farris — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 19:37:00 GMT

Before we feel comfortable celebrating the Independence of our great nation with hot dogs, beer and debauchery, we have to settle one very important matter: which Founding Father would you fuck, if you had to fuck one?

Pictured above are James Madison and Thomas Jefferson, but we imagine if given the choice, we'd go for someone a little more schlubby, like Ethan Allen.

Who Would You Rather?: Kanye West vs. Jay Z

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 20:33:00 GMT

Both of these dapper gentlemen hip-hop stars were in the news today, one for doing something gentlemanly, the other for merely existing on an iPod.

Who cares why we want to know-- we just do. Who would you rather?

Jay Z was on Barack Obama's iPod and Kanye had to apologize for his seriously-late arrival at Bonnaroo. Oh well-- we forgive Kanye and obviously, being on Obama's iPod elevates Jay in our eyes... but it's up to you to decide.

Who Would You Rather: Wayne or Garth?

Emily Farris — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 22:17:00 GMT

We just caught this clip of the Wayne's World Reunion and it got us thinking, who would you rather: Wayne or Garth? We always had a soft spot in our heart for Garth but we can see Wayne's appeal, too (not that we'd have a chance if he's into Asian girls).

Who Would You Rather: Jessica Simpson vs. Ashlee Simpson Wentz

Emily Farris — Fri, 30 May 2008 14:59:00 GMT

We know you're a little tired of hearing about Ashlee Simpson Wentz and her baby and her baby daddy. But you know who is probably more tired of it? Poor Jessica Simpson. But maybe, just maybe, if you'd rather do Jess, she'll feel a little better about being pushed out of the spotlight by her little sister. So, which Simpson would you rather? Jessica or Ashlee?

Who Would You Rather: Stephen Colbert vs. Jon Stewart?

Emily Farris — Wed, 21 May 2008 22:21:00 GMT

And we're not talking about who you'd rather watch on Comedy Central. This is a question we've been asking ourselves for a really long time and we still can't come up with an answer.

Who Would You Rather: Barbara Walters vs. Star Jones?

Emily Farris — Tue, 13 May 2008 21:33:00 GMT

These two have been in the news quite a bit recently over a lot of she said-she said about stomach staples, book deals, etc. But let's talk about what really matters, which one would you rather: Barbara Walters or Star Jones?

Who Would You Rather: R. Kelly vs. The Maytag Repair Man

Emily Farris — Tue, 06 May 2008 21:01:00 GMT

Kind of arbitrary, we know, but we're just asking...

Who Would You Rather?: Evangeline Lilly In A Manshirt or Tina Fey Scarfing A Sandwich

Bryan Christian — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:20:00 GMT

'Cause we're kind of torn. Click through for a pic of Ms. Lilly -- and make your voice be heard!

Sure, Evangeline Lilly's got some great stems on her. But dig how much Tina Fey's getting into that sandwich! It's obscene!

Bed, Wed, Behead?

Nicole Ankowski — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 20:13:00 GMT

As much as we love a good round of “Who Would You Rather?” sometimes you’re faced with ranking three potential lovers/life mates/people you’d like to throw off a cliff, and a simple either-or game won’t do. Thankfully, Showtime’s got a new season of The Tudors to promote, and they’re providing a saucy little Facebook twist that lets you anonymously judge three (or three hundred) of your closest friends. If you’re tired of simply poking peeps, check out “Bed, Wed, or Behead!” You get to play Henry 8, and the entire Facebook world is your court. Or, as they say, “Rank your friends, mark your lovers, and scorn your enemies.” Which is pretty much what we do in real life, but now everyone will know if you’re the Queen’s Playboy or a Duke of Disaster.

Get your Henry 8 on, here.

Emergency "Which NY Governor Would You Rather" Re-Vote

Katie Halper — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 15:03:00 GMT

Earlier this week, we asked you which extra-maritally engaged New York Governor you would rather "get behind." In case you missed it:

Now that Spitzer has been de-governized for "going after prostitution" a little overzealously, David Paterson has come clean about his extra-marital affairs. This, of course, begs the question: which NY Governor would you rather? The sexy Spitz? Or David "he's so hot he's legally blinding" Paterson?

We want to make sure you are informed voters. So before you cast your vote, look long and hard at their photographic record, which we should have included.

And remember. It's not the size of the governorship. It's the motion of the ~~ocean~~ gubernatorial motion.

Which New York Governor Would You Rather?

Katie Halper — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:02:00 GMT

And the hits just keep on coming! Now that Spitzer has been de-governized for "going after prostitution" a little overzealously, David Paterson has come clean about his extra-marital affairs. This, of course, begs the question: which NY Governor would you rather? The sexy Spitz? Or David "he's so hot he's legally blinding" Paterson?

Which governor would you give your vote to?