Scanner : who would you rather

Who Would You Rather: Brad Pitt vs. Every Other Man in the World?

Emily Farris — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 18:28:00 GMT

Angelina Jolie can't get no satisfaction. Though the actress has a bazillion kids with one of the hottest men in the world, she is apparently ready to make their relationship a little more open. Rumor has it that Jolie told Pitt she wants to take "other lovers." According to reports a "source" says, “Angie has never been a traditional kind of girl, especially when it comes to romance. Even though Brad was attracted to her unconventional behaviour initially, at his core he’s a traditional guy. As open-minded as he tries to be, he certainly wouldn’t be fine with her sleeping with another man and would definitely have resented the suggestion, even if it was a petulant slip of the tongue on her part.”

Of course, we have to ask: if you had to choose between sleeping with Brad Pitt or having your choice of every other man in the world, who would you rather?

Angelina Jolie: Babies Make Bangin' Better

Lesbians Love Angelina Jolie

Celebrity Ink: Angelina Jolie's Tattoos Look Really Great Next to Her Breasts

Is it me, or is Brad Pitt not as hot as he used to be?

Watch Jennifer Aniston Googly-Eye Brad Pitt

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Which Would The Hipster Rather: Breast Milk Cupcakes vs. Cow Milk Cupcakes?

Emily Farris — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 22:13:00 GMT

Leave it to Vice to try and settle the breast milk debate once and for all by getting a hipster to eat breast milk cupcakes. Well, not so much just eat breast milk cupcakes, but do a blind tasting of regular (cow) milk cupcakes vs. breast milk cupcakes.

In case you’re still dubious towards imbibing of le lait teton, we forced our friend Patrick to do a taste test: Breast-milk cupcakes vs. some regular old cow-milk cupcakes. He was hesitant, but we were like, “Suck it up, wimp!” And we went on, “Don’t you think it’s weird that humans are the only mammals who still drink milk as adults? And not even our own, but baby fluid for a whole other species? Did you ever think about the fact that we’ve mutated our own stomachs in order to be able to digest bovine baby fluid, Four-Eyes?”

And then Patrick went, “Let’s eat these cupcakes, by Christ!” After quietly chewing for a few minutes, he whispered, “I… I can’t tell any difference at all.” But we said, “No, you have to choose one.” So he held up the cupcake in his right hand and said, “This one is vaguely tastier.” And guess what, it was the boobcake! Breast milk officially wins!

Um, Vice, we think you mean human breast milk officially wins? But whatever, we sort-of wish we'd thought of this ourselves, if only so we'd have an excuse to eat two cupcakes. And if anyone is giving away free cupcakes, we say 'bring on the breast milk!'

[Vice: Hello Titty]

Related:

Breast Milk: To Suckle Or Not To Suckle

Sloppy Seconds: Pete Wentz Weighs in on the Taste of Breast Milk

PETA Asks Ben and Jerry's to Admit that "Breast Is Best"

Who Would You Rather: Seth Rogen vs. Seth Rogen?

Emily Farris — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 23:06:00 GMT

Since Sunday's Academy Awards, much ado has been made about Seth Rogen's somewhat dramatic weight loss. And we have to agree. What the fuck, Seth Rogen? Where is that burly bearded man we fell in love with two years ago? Bring him back please. If you think you need some help, come on out to the Midwest where Mama will make you a casserole with eight different kinds of cheese and take away all of your razor blades.

Ladies, are we right or are we right?

P.S. Seth, we were totally going to make you our Bearded Man of the Week for the whole Playboy thing, but now you've gone and ruined it.

Related:

Bearded Men On Craig's List: Or, How We'll Get Scanner Emily To Move Back To NYC

Seth Rogen Dipped His Toes in the Sea of Porn, Decided to Go For a Swim

'Playboy' Picks Its Ninth Play Boy

Does Katherine Heigl Think Judd Apatow is "Sexist?"

The Great Tina vs. Kate Debate Rages On

Emily Farris — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 22:05:00 GMT

Yesterday we asked which award winner you'd rather and the comments are still rolling in...

As Scanner Brian mentioned [yesterday] morning, Tina Fey and Kate Winslet are sweeping 2009 awards, both taking home Golden Globes and SAG honors. And in the spirit of keeping women catty and pitted against each other, we have to know which one you'd rather. So, who will it be? The challenger and funny girl of every man's dreams, Tina Fey, or our reigning champ from the WWYR Golden Globes Edition, the sultry Brit Kate Winslet? Decisions, decisions!

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Who Would You Rather: Tina Fey vs. Kate Winslet?

Emily Farris — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 23:13:00 GMT

As Scanner Brian mentioned this morning, Tina Fey and Kate Winslet are sweeping 2009 awards, both taking home Golden Globes and SAG honors. And in the spirit of keeping women catty and pitted against each other, we have to know which one you'd rather. So, who will it be? The challenger and funny girl of every man's dreams, Tina Fey, or our reigning champ from the WWYR Golden Globes Edition, the sultry Brit Kate Winslet? Decisions, decisions!

Related:

Tina Fey Tells Everyone to 'Suck it' at the Golden Globes

Top 10 Reasons To Watch 30 Rock

Who Would You Rather: Golden Globes Edition (Kate vs. Sue)

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Who Would You Rather: Golden Globes Edition (Kate vs. Sue)

Emily Farris — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 22:33:00 GMT

Even though she was left off of Scanner Ina's best dressed list for last night's Golden Globes, we think Kate Winslet looked amaaaaazing. We're glad her second speech went on and on and on because we didn't want to take our eyes off of her. Equally stunning, however, was the always beautiful Susan Sarandon (in her pants and all).

Related:

Golden Globes Best Dressed: How J-Lo's Ass Finally Won Us Over

Golden Globes Worst Dressed: WTF Was Up With The Hair?

Retro Masturbation Material: Susan Sarandon

Top 5 Susan Sarandon Sex Scenes

Who Would You Rather: Jon Favreau vs. Jon Favreau?

Emily Farris — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 19:43:00 GMT

You probably know Jon Favreau, the actor, screenwriter, director and all around guy we'd like to have over for breakfast. You may or may not be as familiar with the new Jon Favreau on the block: president elect Barack Obama's 27-year-old speech writer.

We'd go for the funny bearded (though we realize the error of the goatee in this case) burly guy over the Brad Pitt-esque suit any day—except today. The country is wet for Obama, and so are we. Fucking Obama's speech writer probably falls somewhere along the lines of making out with your crush's roommate in college. It gets you close enough to what you want and at least keeps you satisfied until you get it, or realize you're never going to get it.

So, who would you rather? Jon Favreau or Jon Favreau?

See their dueling Wikipedia entries here and here.

Related:

I Hate Myself for Loving You: Tim McGraw

News Anchor Fired After His Swingers Craigslist Ad Cracks Up The Office

CBC Apologizes for Calling Sarah Palin a "Porn Star"

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Drug Charges

Scanner Matt — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 17:14:00 GMT

Oh, that wacky, lovable Palin family... what have they got themselves into this time? Drugs? You betcha!

We never learned too much about Levi Johnston, except for a few gems of info found on his myspace page and the fact that he knocked up Sarah Palin's daughter, Bristol. Here's an intimate look into his family life. The Anchorage Daily News reports Levi's mom was (ready?):

...arrested Thursday at her home by Alaska State Troopers with a search warrant in an undercover drug investigation. Sherry L. Johnston was charged with six felony counts of misconduct involving a controlled substance.

Troopers charged Johnston with second-degree misconduct involving a controlled substance -- generally manufacturing or delivering drugs -- as well as fourth-degree misconduct involving controlled substances, or possession.

When asked about the arrest, Palin's spokesman, Bill McAllister, issued the following statement by e-mail: "This is not a state government matter. Therefore the governor's communications staff will not be providing comment or scheduling interview opportunities."

And oh yeah, eighteen year-old Bristol Palin is likely due on Saturday.

Related:

What'll Happen To Sarah Palin?

Who Would You Rather: Nude Sarah Palin vs. Nude Sarah Palin..

Top 5 Rumors We'd Like to Start About Sarah Palin... But Won't

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Which Would You Rather Give Up: Sex or The Internet?

Emily Farris — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 17:19:00 GMT

If you had to decide between giving up sex for two weeks or giving up the Internet for the same period of time, which would you choose?

Think about what effect each would really have on your life (how much sex do you really have in a given two week period?), then click through for our survey and the results of another...

As Scanner Brian told us last week:

As many as 46 percent of women and 30 percent of men would rather quit watching TV or sex for two weeks than renouncing internet access for the same length of time, a recent study has revealed.

Not so surprising. And, honestly, if you asked us this right now, considering we're not having sex, of course we'd rather keep the Internet. And we know that while most of the world is having more sex than we are, asking most people to give up sex for two weeks probably isn't asking them to give up that much.

[IT Proportal: Internet Better Than Sex or TV For Some Says Survey]

Is "Tech Sex" Somewhere Between Cyber Sex and Technical Sex?

Accused Killer's Crazy Google Searches All The Evidence We Need

Weezer and YouTube Sitting in a Tree...

Say "Hello" to "Emily" and Kiss Actual Women Goodbye

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Scanner's Woman of the Year: You Decide

Emily Farris — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 19:43:00 GMT

GOP Vice Presidential Nominee Sarah Palin vs. Eliot Spitzer's High Class Call Girl Ashley Alexandra Dupre

No, this is not a Who Would You Rather? (though, who would you rather?). It's just us asking you to help decide who should be Scanner's Woman of the Year. We had an easy time with Scanner's Man of the Year, and his penis, but we'll tell you all about that tomorrow.

Woman of the year was a little more difficult. There were two women who brought us more laughter, tears and page views than any other females all year. Now it's up to you to decide which lovely lady will be awarded this top honor.

The winner gets, at the very least, an open love letter and photo essay from Scanner Emily.

Related:

Who Would You Rather: Nude Sarah Palin vs. Nude Sarah Palin...

Top 5 Rumors We'd Like to Start About Sarah Palin... But Won't

Loving, Naked Tributes to Sarah Palin Just Keep on Coming

Ashley Alexandra Dupre Did Exactly What We Told Her Not to Do

Who Would You Rather? Ashley Alexandra Dupre vs. "Kristen"

An Open Letter to Ashley Alexandra Dupre: We're Gonna Write a Book!

Which Would You Rather: Small, Natural Boobs or Big, Fake Ones?

Emily Farris — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 21:51:00 GMT

Every time I complain to my double-D mom about the breast injustice in my family, she reminds me that "men would rather have lemon drops on an ironing board than fake ones." Then Scanner Brian posited this this morning and no one answered. Now we need to know, is it true?

Related:

While You Were Sleeping: 93% Prefer Real Boobs

Real or Fake: Nude Sarah Palin Photo?

Five Things Women Think They Know About Men (But They're Wrong)

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Sloppy Seconds: What Does LiLo Have Against ScarJo?

Emily Farris — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 22:09:00 GMT

We love Brian Williams and we love food courts (our first job was at Chinese Delight in the Independence Center, yo) so it should come as no surprise that we really love that NBC's Brian Williams loves to eat in food courts. [Parade]

Disney meal ticket Miley Cyrus was killed by a drunk driver over the weekend. Except totally not at all! [MTV]

Michael Jackson is being sued by the future king of Bahrain after Jackson supposedly backed out of a recording contract. [Radar]

How much fashion is really involved in the Victoria's Secret fashion show? Because we just see lots of skin. [NY Daily News]

Did you know that Scarlett Johansson was the inspiration behind Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl?" [People]

Could that be why Lindsay Lohan is no fan of Scarlett Johansson. Probably not. Two years after LiLo wrote some nasty words about ScarJo on a New York bathroom stall, Johansson still has no idea why LiLo hates her. [Us]

Who Would You Rather: Katy Perry vs. Zooey Deschanel?

Emily Farris — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 20:18:00 GMT

Every time we see a picture of Katy Perry, we think to ourselves, "What is Zooey Deschanel doing in Us Weekly?" Then we realize it's Perry, the girl who kissed a girl who's not Jill Sobule. We're big fans of She & Him, Deschanel's musical venture with M. Ward, but we don't know much about Perry's music other than the fact that some conservative Christians can't get into. But, like you really care about the music. What we really want to know is which look-a-like songstress would you rather: Katy Perry or Zooey Deschanel?

Related:

Who Would You Rather: Nancy Grace vs. Rachael Ray?

Who Would You Rather, Celebrity Chef Edition: Gordon Ramsay vs. Bobby Flay?

Who Would You Rather: A-Rod vs. Guy Ritchie?

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The Results Are Not In... For This "Who Would You Rather?"

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:56:00 GMT

A couple weeks ago, we gave you a Who Would You Rather: Stacey Dash vs. Rachelle Leah: Playboy Edition. For the first time in the history of humanity, the results were tied at 44% (12% voted for a tie, but that's a copout.)

We won't let this die... see more evidence, after the jump...

Stacey Dash

Rachelle Leah

To vote (and enjoy more photographic comparisons, nsfw), click here.

Related:

Who Would You Rather? Rachelle Leah vs. Stacey Dash Playboy Spreads

Some of the Hottest Women in the Country All Got Naked Together

Gisele Bundchen Finds Another Excuse To Take Off Her Clothes

Kate Winslet Takes it Off for Vanity Fair

Olga Kurylenko: "My Treasure Trove of Topless Photos Don't Count As Porn"

What's It Like Having Strangers Eat Off Your Naked Body?

10-Year-Old Boy Is the Lone Protester of Nude Sunbathing

Who Would You Rather: Elisabeth Hasselbeck vs. Ann Coulter?

Emily Farris — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 21:01:00 GMT

We're really sorry to do this to you, but it's not like either of these conservative women is conventionally unattractive. So, if you had to pick one, who would you rather: Elisabeth Hasselbeck or Ann Coulter?

Related:

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Stumps for Sarah Palin, We Drink Heavily

Sloppy Seconds: And Just What Does Woody Allen Think Is So Unfunny?

Ann Coulter is a Man, Baby (According to Some Guy and a Computer)

Ann Coulter: Hillary More Conservative Than McCain

Ow, My Eyes! "Ann Coulter Lite" Is Anti-Everything We Hold Awesome

Who Would You Rather... for President: Paris or Palin?

Emily Farris — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 15:35:00 GMT

In a few short days, Paris Hilton's music video "Paris for President" will hit the Interwebs and the air waves. But a sneak peek has been released, and after watching it, we can't help but think that if Palin could do it, why not Paris? True, Palin has a little more political experience than Paris, but we're willing to put money on the fact that Paris wouldn't try to overturn Roe v. Wade.

So, who would you rather have in the in the White House? And by, have, we don't mean "have."

Related:

Paris Hilton, You and You Alone (and Maybe Nicole Ritchie) Can Stop Puppy Mills

And Your Little Dog, Too: Attack on Paris Hilton's Pups?

Caption This: Paris Hilton Visits An Orphanage

Top 5 Rumors We'd Like to Start About Sarah Palin... But Won't

Who Would You Rather: Nude Sarah Palin vs. Nude Sarah Palin...

What'll Happen To Sarah Palin?

Who Would You Rather? Rachelle Leah vs. Stacey Dash Playboy Spreads

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 17:59:00 GMT

Playboy is the only place besides People Magazine that could ever singlehandedly revive a celebrity's sagging career.

Stacey Dash hasn't been seen on our radar since Clueless (and we kind of forgot her five minutes later)-- since this Playboy shoot, we've seen her everywhere, including a tantalizing spread in something called King Magazine; meanwhile, Rachelle Leah, the wrestling dork's dream in her current gig as the host of UFC All Access, is still light years from becoming household name. However, all that might change now...

Rachelle Leah:

Stacey Dash:

This is a hard one for us, as well... Rachelle is more our type, although her photo shoot comes off like a bad Maxim pictoral, plus nipple slips. Unfortunately, although the Stacey spread is of a higher artistic quality, the photos are kind of uninspired. And since both women are gorgeous in their own right, we might have to call this one a draw. What do you think?

(By the way, we wanted to use Stacey's recent King spread instead of these not-recent shots, but they're even more disappointing.)

More from Stacey's shoot here. More from Rachelle's here.

Related:

Top 10 Secrets For Looking Great Naked... From A Nudist Resort

Hot or Not: The Lily Cole Playboy Cover?

True Blood's Anna Paquin In First (True) Nude Scene

While You Were Sleeping: Playboy Kills the DVD

House Hotties Break Network TV Rules With Raunchy Sex Scene

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 14:31:00 GMT

Who woulda thunk Fox would be the network to air a groundbreaking (well, for network TV) lesbian sex scene? Well, that's precisely what's set to happen on Tuesday night, if this promo for the hit show House M.D. is to be believed...

Note that this video is NSFW, even if it is airing on (we can't get over it, so we'll say it again) the Fox Network:

Ironically, we posted a Who Would You Rather? on Friday that featured another medical drama's lesbian characters. We're pretty sure these two blow the Grey's Anatomy ladies off screen, even with a laughably fake scene like this one, at least on the pushing-boundaries angle...

Check them out for yourself and let us know.

Related:

Who Would You Rather: Grey's Anatomy Lesbian Doctor Edition

Hot, Lesbian Doctor Action Coming to Tonight's "Grey's Anatomy?"

Megan Fox's Lesbian (Stripper) Love

Town Rallies Behind Principal Who Discriminated Against Lesbian Student

Who Would You Rather: Grey's Anatomy Lesbian Doctor Edition

Emily Farris — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 20:34:00 GMT

Last night's Grey's Anatomy was filled with all kinds of hilarity, including some guy's face being comedically peeled off, and Dr. Bailey's comarison of performing oral sex on a female to eating "stew on a piece of sour bread." (Huh?) Anyway, with that comment she was trying to help Dr. Callie Torres (Sara Ramirez, pictured left) become more comfortable with her new relationship with Dr. Erica Hahn (Brooke Smith, pictured right)—the show's first lesbian doctor couple.

Now, the question is, if you can't have them both at the same time (which you can't) which would you rather?

Related:

Who Would You Rather: Joe "Boobies" Francis vs. Hugh Hefner?

Who Would You Rather: Nancy Grace vs. Rachael Ray?

Who Would You Rather, Celebrity Chef Edition: Gordon Ramsay vs. Bobby Flay?

Who Would You Rather: The Anne Hathaway Who Enjoys Anal Sex or The Anne Hathaway Who Doesn't?

Who Would You Rather: House vs. McDreamy

Who Wore it Better: Kate Hudson vs. Suri Cruise?

Emily Farris — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 15:59:00 GMT

Okay, okay, we know this isn't a baby blog, but we're a little obsessed with Suri Cruise's cuteness. She almost makes us want to bang a self-involved Scientologist nut job—but only if we could be guaranteed a little one as adorable as Suri. And you have to admit it's kind-of hilarious that she's trotting around the city in practically the same dress as as an adult actress.

[Via FadedYouth]

Related:

Sloppy Seconds: How Sarah Palin Brought a Litte Heaven Into Our Lives

Sloppy Seconds: Pretty Young Things

Sloppy Seconds: Heather Mills, Liv Tyler, and... Roseanne Barr?!

Rumor Mongering: Did Justin Timberlake Impregnate Kate Hudson?

While You Were Sleeping: The Heath Ledger Investigation

Who Would You Rather: Megan Fox vs. Gemma Arterton?

Emily Farris — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 16:12:00 GMT

Yes, yes. You'd probably like them both—at the same time, we're sure. But if you had to choose just one (say, someone was holding a gun to your head), would you choose the one that FHM thinks is the hottest woman in the world (Fox) or the one that the men of Scanner think is the hottest woman in the world (Arterton)?

Related:

New Gemma Arterton Sex Scene Steams Us Up For Bond 22

Crush of the Week: Gemma Arterton, James Bond's Rebound Girl

Megan Fox's Lesbian (Stripper) Love

We Feel a Little Better About the Three Fried Dough Balls We Ate at Dinner

Who The Hell? FHM's Sexiest Woman in The World

Who Would You Rather: A-Rod vs. Guy Ritchie?

Emily Farris — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 20:59:00 GMT

Now that Alex Rodriguez's divorce is settled, Madonna could pretty much have her way with him—if she hasn't already, if she even still wants to. Except, there's that whole pesky issue of her husband, Guy Ritchie. If you were Madonna, who would you pick? Or even if you weren't Madonna (because you're not) who would you rather: A-Rod or Guy Ritchie?

Related:

**The A-Rod, Madonna, Lenny Kravitz Clusterf*ck**

A-Rod Brainwashed By Hot Madonna or Religious Madonna?

Fox News Thinks Madonna Broke A-Rod's Rod

Does Madonna Have A Sex Tape And Do We Want To See It?

Who Would You Rather: Nude Sarah Palin vs. Nude Sarah Palin...

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 19:55:00 GMT

There are so many nude photos of "Sarah Palin" floating around the web, photos that are either of Palin's head on some unknown model's body or Julia Louis-Dreyfus's. Readers previously debated this very question, unprovoked, in our first post of the supposed leaked photos, all of which are doctored or mislabeled in some way.

Now, we're going to ask you for real, with four naked photos of our next (Vice?) President to fight over...

Set of four photos via Fleshbot.

Related:

Real or Fake: Nude Sarah Palin Photo?

No Wonder Sarah Palin Wants Kids to Stop Reading Books

RNC Day Three: Sarah Palin Makes Dick Cheney Look Like Al Gore

Sarah Palin Thinks Global Warming Is Polar Bear Sh*t

Top 5 Rumors We'd Like to Start About Sarah Palin... But Won't

Who Would You Rather: Sarah Palin vs. Britney Spears (Our Last Palin Post of the Day, Promise)

Emily Farris — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 21:34:00 GMT

It's a simple enough question that we believe needs no explanation, just your vote.

&lt;a href="http://www.buzzdash.com/index.php?page=buzzbite&amp;BB_id=102386"&gt;Who Would You Rather?&lt;/a&gt; | &lt;a href="http://www.buzzdash.com"&gt;BuzzDash polls&lt;/a&gt;

Related:

No Wonder Sarah Palin Wants Kids to Stop Reading Books

Britney Spears Will Open VMA's, We Will Watch With Popcorn and Open Minds

Sloppy Seconds: Lily Allen Would Very Much Like Sir Elton John to F*ck Off, Seriously

Emily Farris — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 21:49:00 GMT

Our not-so-slutty sister thinks that vetting Sarah Palin is like Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but funnier. We would like to take this opportunity to disclose that we have not been fully vetted. [FameCrawler]

At least she passes Elisabeth Hasselbeck's test with flying colors, because you know it's super complicated and makes lots of sense. [MollyGood]

Will celebrities please stop throwing things? First it was Russell Crowe with his cell phone, then Naomi Campbell. Now Akon, probably best known for "Smack That," is facing criminal charges after being accused of throwing a fan off of stage — and we're not talking about the small appliance. [Yahoo!]

If you're a shitty asshole who would like to hunt down women who've had abortions, you may be in luck. Abortion Tracker claims to have a record of every woman who's had an abortion since 1940 and they'll make the list available to you for one easy paymennt of $799. [Jezebel]

Anne Hathaway apparently loaned her businessman ex hundreds of thousands of dollars before the couple split earlier this summer, proving that even rich guys can be loser bums (except, we actually already knew that). [Starpulse]

Even though they ganked our feature, we have to give it to dListed for catching this who would you rather: Dog the Bounty Hunter or his wife, Beth? Um, can we vote for the dog? [dListed]

Of all the people in the world we'd like to tell to "fuck off," Elton John doesn't even come close to making the list. Not so for Lilly Allen who drunkently disrepescted the singer at the GQ Men of the Year Awards. [MTV]

Who Would You Rather: Keeley Hazell or Sara Boberg?

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 20:31:00 GMT

Both women wish they were in the Olympics, but weren't invited. Both were the subject of digital nude renderings leaked by unknown parties. And both look incredible naked, with their glorious natural breasts.

Hey, find us two naked guys in the news these days and we'll have a Who Would You Rather? with them two... otherwise, it's females galore...

Sara Boberg (above) is a Swedish crossbowoman who can't compete in the Olympics until the next time around, when the sport will finally become worthy of speedwalking and that shuffleboard thing the Canadians love so much. Her pics leaked about two weeks ago... and we made sure to post the best ones...

Keeley Hazell-- you remember her? British model? Told the press she was saving herself for marriage? Then her sex tape, made with a live-in boyfriend, came out a few weeks later? Yeah, good times...

Check it out here... and don't forget to vote in this week's most important election:

Swedish Crossbowoman Misses Out On '08 Olympics, But Moonlights Nude Anyway

The 5 Hottest Men And 5 Hottest Women Of The 2008 Summer Olympics

Naked Olympians: Cyclist Rebecca Romero

Michael Phelps Dresses... Up?

Does Michael Phelps' New Girlfriend Wear Fins or Stilettos?

Who Would You Rather: Naked Olympic Swimmers Edition

Nicole Pasulka — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 16:01:00 GMT

We watched us some women's swimming last night, and while it's no beach volleyball, we guess there were some lookers in the pool--er, or, well there were some girls in swimsuits, at least.

OK. So swimmers are not exactly our ideal "type," but despite (or maybe because of) their hulking, ripply shoulders and enormous calves, lady swimmers can't seem to keep their clothes on.

Last week we told you about the naked PETA "protest" poster of Amanda Beard--the US Olympic Swimmer who will take it off for anyone with a camera. Now we hear that French Swimmer and Olympic gold medalist Laure Manaudou has caught a bad case of the leaked naked pics. As far as we can tell, there's no "good cause" motivating these photos, just some free time and a digital camera.

So, in light of all this nudiness we need to know--

Whose lake would you rather swim in: Amanda Beard or Laure Manaudou?

Full nakedness to aid in your decision making after the jump.

Who will it be? The Beard?

Or the Manaudou?

Who Would You Rather: House vs. McDreamy

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 17:23:00 GMT

Plus the results of our "Who Would You Rather: Julie Newmar vs. Michelle Pfeiffer" Catwoman edition...

The winner... Julie Newmar, with 53% of the vote. (Of course, Eartha Kitt may have played third party spoiler in this case...)

Which is the bigger TV doctor sex symbol? Hugh Laurie, as the title character on Fox's "House, M.D." or Patrick Dempsey as Dr. McSteamy on ABC's "Grey's Anatomy"? Future philosophers will debate this very question over robot-made Red Bull Infused Hot Tea... or whatever they'll be doing in 2009...

Previously:

Who Would You Rather: Michelle Pfeiffer vs. Julie Newmar

Who Would You Rather, Celebrity Chef Edition: Gordon Ramsay vs. Bobby Flay?

Who Would You Rather?: Kanye West vs. Jay Z

Who Would You Rather: Founding Fathers Edition

Scanner Controversy: The Most Controversial Posts Of The Past Two Weeks

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 20:30:00 GMT

We thought we'd spice up your Friday with the Scanner equivalent of jalapeño peppers.

1) Scanner Roundtable: Let's Settle This Whole 9/11 Thing Once And For All...

With this post, we swear, we didn't plan it in advance or have any knowledge what would happen would happen.

2) This Week In Gayness: My Boyfriend Won't Put Out

Apparently, Googling "homosexualmania" does not get you this post. Shame.

3) Was Nicole Kidman Ever Really Pregnant?

Didn't she try for a decade with Tom Cruise? Hasn't she been trying for years? Aren't celebrities so strange they might fake a pregnancy to a) help their careers and/or b) cover for the fact that they adopted/cradle-robbed/did something else to obtain a baby, thinking that, somehow, their box office will plummet if they don't have a "real" birth soon?

4) Is Batman's Crime-Fighting Simply A Cry For Help?

Scanner Nicole muses...

5) "Just A Fun Loving Nerd!!!" Just The Man For Us

Yeah, but those photos gotta be -shopped, right?

6) Who Would You Rather: Michelle Pfeiffer vs. Julie Newmar?

Some are saying Eartha Kitt.

7) Crush of the Week: Gitty Grunwald, Fighting An Hasidic Cult For Her Daughter

It turns out the original New York article has become the the source of the most letters to the editor in that magazine's history...

8) "I Had Sex With My Brother" One Woman's Blue Lagoon

Some questioned our historical accuracy (Brooke Shields was that dude's cousin, after all), some just questioned.

9) Today in WTF: Guy Gets Off (For/On) Getting 14-Year-Old Girl Drunk, Violating Her

We were setting ourselves up for this one. There's still a debate on legal issues in the comments-- wait, it's interesting, we swear!

10) Watch the Homophobic Snickers Ad Pulled From TV

We're not controversial for posting it, we're controversial for associating ourselves with the fellow countrymen who produced it.

Who Would You Rather: Jennifer Aniston vs. Jennifer Connelly

Emily Farris — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 21:14:00 GMT

Rumors of tension between He's Just Not That Into You co-stars Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Connelly have been flying around the tabloids and Internets. But another co-star, the super-cute Ginnifer Goodwin, claims the rumors are "absurd."

You know we like to stir things up around here, though, so we have to ask, which He's Just Not That Into You Jennifer would you rather, Aniston or Connelly?

[Us: Aniston Vs. Connelly? Costar Calls Feud Rumors 'Absurd']

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