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Video of the Day: Neko Case's "People Got a Lotta Nerve"

Emily Farris — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 19:03:00 GMT

We love this video for "People got a Lotta Nerve" from the album Middle Cyclone because 1. It's by one of our favorite lady singers, Neko Case, and 2. it has Nerve in the title. Also, it's just a really great song.

Related:

Top 10 Hottest Women Size 10 and Up

When '2 Become 1' Becomes 25 Cents, or How I Didn't Lose My Virginity to the Music of the Spice Girls

Video of the Day: Doctors in The Philippines Remove a Can From a Man's Ass, Get a Good Laugh

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Vintage Video of the Day: Riot Grrrls On 'Roseanne'

Emily Farris — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 17:54:00 GMT

When Roseanne was on the air, we watched it religiously, but we were too young to really appreciate what an amazing show it was—plus, we were too busy crushing on David and trying to be less like Becky and more like Darlene. Each time we catch a repeat, though, we're amazed at how well it portrayed the every-family (at least according to Scanner Emily). One episode we don't remember (probably because we were more Becky than Darlene) is the one where Jenna Elfman appeared on the show as a Riot Grrrl and gave housewife Roseanne a "wake up call."

Related:

Sloppy Seconds: Guess Who Has a Brand New Vagina!

C-Love in HEEB's Wasted Issue

Am I a Bad Feminist?

Video of the Day: MAC-Hello Kitty Commercial

Emily Farris — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 17:43:00 GMT

Other than for this very purpose (spreading it around the Interwebs) we're not sure why any company would put together a four minute and eleven second commercial. But if you are going to put together a four minute and eleven second commercial, this MAC Cosmetics + Hello Kitty ad is the way to do it.
At one point, a woman chases her little black pussy cat into a pink tube as the lyrics "come inside" are accompanied by trippy techno music. It just gets better after that. We would have like to watched this during the Super Bowl commercial breaks.

Related:

Name One Inanimate Object That Doesn't Exist in Hello Kitty Form

Hello Kitty May Be the Closest a Vagina Will Ever Get to Warhammer 40K

PeTA: Again With Thinking Sex Sells Unpopular Idea

via BoingBoing

Video of the Day: Don't Divorce My Dads!

Emily Farris — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 23:07:00 GMT

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

This video, set to the tune of Regina Spektor's 'Fidelity' is put out by the Courage Campaign.... and it breaks my heart.

[Via BUST]

Related:

"The Real World: Facebook" or Scanner Emily vs. The Mormons

This Week In Gayness: Two Major Male Movie Stars Make Out

Video of the Day: New York Brings Kermit, Us Down

Emily Farris — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 20:54:00 GMT

We're probably posting this more for ourselves than you. But, really, who can resist the magical combination that is Kermit the Frog and a sad, sad song? We sure as hell can't pass up Kermit lip syncing to LCD Sound System's "New York I Love You But You're Bringing Me Down," especially since we already have one foot across the state line.

Justin Timberlake Moves to NYC, We Leave

Kansas City Mayor Loves His Wife (Too Much?)

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Retro Video of the Day: "Breakin'" Dance Off

Emily Farris — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 17:33:00 GMT

We may be 24 years late, but over the weekend, while visiting some friends in Berkeley, we watched what was, quite possibly, the best movie ever made. Was it well written? No. Was it packed with an all-star cast? No. Was the acting good? No. Then why do we love it so much?

Just watch. Watch and learn.

Was that not the greatest thing you've ever seen in your life?

We also realized when watching the final scene (which we unfortunately can't find online) that Paula Abdul totally ripped off the Breakin' audition for her "Cold Hearted Snake" video.

Sloppy Seconds: Is Sarah Jessica Parker the Unsexiest Woman In Hollywood?

Crushed: Kim Kardashain's Dreams of Dancing With the Stars (Outside the Bedroom, Anyway)

Sloppy Seconds: C-ya L8-R, TRL

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Video of the Day: The Mourning After

Emily Farris — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 20:29:00 GMT

On November 3, 2004, we were driving a van full of volunteers back from Ohio and we stopped at a gas station in West Virginia to listen to John Kerry cede the election to George W. Bush. It was a sorry sight, a bunch of 20-somethings bawling our eyes out in a 15-passenger van at a gas pump in Appalachia. But we can imagine that was nothing compared to what might be on November 5, 2008 if that one thing that we don't even want to think about happening actually happens... Some filmmakers in Pittsburgh think so, too.

Related:

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The John Edwards Affair And Love Child Scandal: The Sequel

Is Obama Using the Gore-Kerry Playbook?

Video of the Day: How Bread Was Made in the 80's

Emily Farris — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 14:25:00 GMT

This is apprently how bread was made in the 80's. We're also starting to think this is how we were made in the 80's, because our mom totally would have gone for that guy (and probably still would... and maybe has... Dad?).

Videos of the Day: Because You Can't Have Just One Bill O'Reilly Freak Out Video

Emily Farris — Wed, 14 May 2008 20:59:00 GMT

The remix, after the jump.

And, of course, Steven Colbert has to defend Papa Bear.

[Previously: Vintage Clips: Bill O'Reilly Flips the F*ck Out]

Video of the Day: Grand Theft Auto IV

Emily Farris — Thu, 01 May 2008 16:12:00 GMT

Can we just watch you play Grand Theft Auto IV? We're no good at video games; we never even saved the Mushroom Princess. In fact, we still have our NES and we still can't save the Mushroom Princess. But Grand Theft Auto is like a choose-your-own adventure Bruce Willis movie. (Or maybe someone can come up with a better comparison?).

Anyway, you should choose and have the adventure; we just want to watch you play while we sit back and eat pulled pork on a sesame bun and and drink some cold whiskey and tell you to beat up the other guy. How sad is it that that sounds like the perfect date to us these days?

P.S. This video is not safe for work (like you didn't already know that).

Video of the Day: Why Must Reh Dogg Cry?

Emily Farris — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:12:00 GMT

Forgive us if you've seen this before (our archives only go back to October and this video is about a year old), but we've just been introduced to Reh Dogg and his absolutely, 100% seriously serious, sincere video of heartbreak, "Why Must I Cry?"

Comments have been disabled on Reh Dogg's YouTube page, but according to the friend who introduced us to this genius video, he wrote it after his wife left him and took their children with her. The lyrics seem to confirm this. It is really, really sad. And we just can't stop watching it. But pay close attention to the last frame; it's disturbing.

Video of the Day: Doctors in The Philippines Remove a Can From a Man's Ass, Get a Good Laugh

Emily Farris — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 15:11:00 GMT

Doctors in the Philippines recently removed what appeared to be a can of Axe Body Spray from a man's ass after a "drinking spree" and "one night stand." Apparently he was too drunk to remember the details of how the can made its way up his ass, and needed some serious assistance getting it out. However, the doctors may have had a little too much fun removing the can (as we see in the video), and the ass man is pissed.

The nearly 3-minute video of a noisy operating room shows doctors and nurses laughing, giggling and cheering. At one point, a hand appears with a cell phone camera taking a close-up picture of the surgery. As a doctor gingerly pulls out the 6-inch long canister from the male patient's rectum, someone shouts, "Baby out!" amid loud cheers. The doctor then removes the canister cap and sprays the contents toward the crowd of nurses and doctors viewing the procedure.

The video has angered the unidentified patient who plans to press charges, his lawyer Guiller Ceniza said Wednesday.

The government-run Vicente Sotto Memorial Medical Center in the central city of Cebu, where the surgery took place, is conducting an investigation, a spokesman said Wednesday.

Dr. Emmanuel Gines said more than 10 people were involved — including staff and medical and nursing students from a nearby operating room.

He said the hospital takes videos of surgeries of peculiar cases, but only with the consent of the patient.

Dr. Jose Sabili, president of the Philippine Medical Association, told on Wednesday the group will conduct an investigation if a formal complaint is filed and doctors found violating medical ethics could be suspended or expelled from the association, which would result in the suspension or termination of their state health insurance accreditation.

The results of the investigation could also be used by the Professional Regulations Commission to suspend or revoke their licenses, Sabili said.

"I believe what they did was very blatant," he said.

We'd probably be a little upset, too. Hell, who are we kidding? We'd post it on our blog and send it to everyone we know.

[LiveLeak: Philippine surgeons cheer after removing a 6 inch body spray canister from drunk patient's rectum]

Video of the Day: "The Babysitters" Trailer

Emily Farris — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:12:00 GMT

We're super excited for "The Babysitters," a movie about babysitters who are also prostitutes. And not only because we've been babysitters and, uh, because it comes out on our birthday, which is also the day we get our cast removed which is also the day we can finally get back to work. If we remember correctly, it's also the day R. Kelly's trial begins. If you feel like hitting up our Amazon wishlist, it's May 9.

[VideoGum: Like The Babysitters Club, But For Prostitutes]

Videos of the Day: The YouTube Nominees

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 20:27:00 GMT

View the nominees in all categories.

Video of the Day: What's It Gonna Be?

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 13:13:00 GMT

What's It Gonna Be? on FunnyOrDie.com

Mike O'Connell's videos are among the rare highlights of Funny or Die, a site with lots of material that needs to fucking die. This NSFW (that designation refers to the audio only) video of the day is Mike's new music video.

Would this work on you, ladies? Expert sex blogger Girl With A One Track Mind weighs in:

How not to pick up a woman in a bar. And yes, I have met guys who've tried similar approaches; they never resulted in a shag.

Although it has to be said that if they had used the line "If you even really cared about that vagina of yours, you wouldn't leave it in the hands of an amateur" on me, the laughing it would have induced might have got me into bed.

Thanks to Girl With A One Track Mind.

Video of the Day: Can't Buy Her Love

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:20:00 GMT

Heather Mills, nee McCartney, is the ultimate gold digger. We can officially call her that now that she's robbed Paul McCartney of 25 million pounds sterling.

Although she is in big with charities all over the world, including Adopt A Landmine, is there anyone out there who seriously believes this woman, obviously suffering from euphoria (as well as bitterness that her settlement wasn't 200 million) is going to give the majority of her windfall to charity? Or really much of it at all?

Video of the Day: Gay Pink Stick Figures

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 16:30:00 GMT

The unintentional comedy of this anti-gay video about two pink stink figures-- one gay, the other merely shy about receiving an anal pounding-- discussing the word of God (as it was created by ancient syphilis victims-- our theory on the Bible) and resisting their ~~God-given urges~~ interest in sinning for the hell of it. We still don't understand what these anti-gay Christians think gays become gays for-- the gay gene?! It seems to mock the very existence of this gene, while also casting the villainous seducer as a man who is convinced others "can learn" to get boners for men.

It will never cease to confound us that homophobes are convinced gayness is a choice. Yes, because the idea of getting lynched or beaten or relegated to the occasional "gay bar" to meet people, and having to keep their true sexual identity secret from most of the world sounds way better than what we're going through...

Thanks to Good As You (note the acronym!) for the link.

Video of the Day: "We Live in Public" Preview

Bryan Christian — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 16:00:00 GMT

We've had a few friends work for Josh Harris, former Pseudo.com wunderkind, over the years, and even though we'd heard from them and others that the wired-for-video happenings that he was orchestrating in late '90's NYC were the stuff of legend, we had no idea how truly demented he or his plans were until we saw this video, which is a preview of a full-length documentary on Harris by DiG's Ondi Timoner. Not much actual sex here, per se -- a little towards the end is all -- but anyone with an interest in webcams, blogging, or the nudity-obsessed, panopticon-like nature of tabloid media would do well to have a look. (PS: We've been trying to get this to embed on our site since it came out to no avail, so we finally gave up and linked out.)

Video of the Day: Copy Paper Commercial

Emily Farris — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 16:39:00 GMT

So you say you're not in the office today? This (we're thinking Dutch? Sweedish? we're terrible with languages) commercial for copy paper might make you wish you were. You know, if you worked with someone this hot.

via videosift.com

Video of the Day: No You Can't

Emily Farris — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 20:41:00 GMT

In response to the now-famous "Yes We Can" Barack Obama video, the people formerly known as the Billionaires for Bush have released "No You Can't." We bet you didn't know that our senior national political correspondent Brian Fairbanks was a Billionaire for Bush. And he's too shy to tell you that he was a co-creator of this video.

Video of the Day: Scrabulous

Emily Farris — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 21:52:00 GMT

Okay, the song is terrible. Really, really terrible. But we love the concept.

Video of the Day: Check the Translation

Emily Farris — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 21:42:00 GMT

Thinking of getting a message of love for your special someone tattooed on your body in Chinese symbols? Uh, don't.

via videosift.com

Video of the Day: Huckabee Girl

Emily Farris — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:22:00 GMT

We all know Obama wouldn't have made it as far as he did without Obama Girl. So it's only fair that ultra-conservative Mike Huckabee has a girl of his own. And hey, her song is kind of catchy: "So sure about creation / you didn't need no facts/ and I know it's the best way/ to kick the Democrats' ass."

Video of the Day: Sarah Silverman Makes a Funny

Emily Farris — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 21:29:00 GMT

(Thanks, Bill!)

Video of the Day: Newscaster/Bird Kaviar Video

Bryan Christian — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 17:00:00 GMT

From Wikipedia:

Kaviar can refer to:

Another spelling of Caviar, salted roe of fish.
A German slang term for Coprophilia, the paraphilia involving sexual pleasure through human feces.
A band fronted by Kevin Gilbert.

Video of the Day: Kung Fu Sex

Emily Farris — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 21:24:00 GMT

Ummm, we don't know if we're actually allowed to show this, because technically it's porn, but it's so ridiculous in that you're-never-going-to-have-an-orgasm-like-this kind-of way, that we figured it might almost be acceptable. It's totally and completely unsafe for work. It's also hysterical. And if our editors make us take it down, it may be here for a limited time only.

Kung Fu sex - video powered by Metacafe

Video of the Day: Smokey Robinson Sings "U Really Got A Hold On Me"

Emily Farris — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 20:37:00 GMT

OK, after all that scary man-eating vagina business, we wanted to make you feel a little warm and cozy. And what's cozier than watching Smokey Robinson snuggle up to the letter 'U' in this classic "Sesame Street" clip?

Video of the Day: Urban Legend ER

Bryan Christian — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 16:59:00 GMT

We'd hate to be on staff at Urban Legend ER. For one thing, they look busier than County General and Seattle Grace combined. But more importantly, we wouldn't wanna have to deal with Elton John (or a reasonable facsimile) constantly trying to extract and drink our sperm. This is a hospital, dammit, not a frat house!

(Huh. This video don't seem to be coming in on the site like it should. Jerks! Well, click here to see it.)

Video of the Day: 30-Minute Boob Workout

Bryan Christian — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 16:01:00 GMT

According to this video, in 1997, scientists in the New England Journal of Medicine proposed that simply looking at boobs provided the same benefits as a 30-minute workout. According to us, scientists need to doublecheck that they're working out correctly. Also: get laid.

Video of the Day: Hockey Fight Porn

Bryan Christian — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 15:39:00 GMT

Here at Scanner, we try to cater to everyone's tastes eventually -- but frankly, we never thought we'd get to those of you who thought Fight Club would have been hotter had it only been on ice. Fightcapades, ho!