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PapSmeared: Posh Spice or Scary Spice?

Emily Farris — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 20:02:00 GMT

Hot or Not? Victoria Beckham in Armani Underwear

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 16:56:00 GMT

Victoria Beckham has always struck us as the kind of woman Brits go crazy for, but the rest of the world cannot get into. If she weren't married to the top footballer, would the world remember her or would she just fall into obscurity, along with the rest of the Spice Girls?

Having recently signed a 12-million-pound modeling deal, Victoria will definitely be in the public eye on her own a lot more, and, if this keeps up, might be able to win us over...

'There are loads of things I don't like about my body', she said. 'I've got so much saggy skin on my stomach.'
The pictures of Victoria, which will grace billboards and magazines are from her first shoot in the three-year multi-million pound deal.

What do you think of her new Armani campaign? Are we done with her, can we move on?

Photos via Telegraph.

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Megan Fox Is So Hot Right Now, GQ Can Just Recycle Her Photos Every Month

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 18:41:00 GMT

Megan Fox, who will not be playing Wonder Woman, despite previous reports, and was the only woman shortlisted for GQ's Man of the Year is still the #1 woman on the internet. (Well, except for Keeley Hazel. And Sarah Palin. And... and... never mind.)

But no one drives up traffic like Megan Fox-- or, more importantly-- Megan Fox in a bikini...

According to One India:

American actress Megan Fox has been listed as the hottest babe on the planet in Chickipedia's latest 100 hottest women list yet again. Chickipedia, which is the world's largest web-based, wiki-based database of hot women on the planet, released the Top 100 most-searched for women in the month of October, the Daily Telegraph reported.

This is the second year that Fox has topped the list, with the second place going to Hugh Hefner''s No 1 ex-girlfriend Holly Madison. The most-searched for female survey saw Keeley Hazell in third position, while new Aussie girls ‘The Veronicas’ were at number six. The new list also saw Madonna and Victoria Beckham being dropped and replaced by US Republican IT girl Sarah Palin and her alter ego, Tina Fey.

Good riddance to Madonna and Victoria-- but Holly Madison? Bland as New York is fucking freezing today.

In celebration of Fox's latest victory, GQ has unleashed more of the photos that made her a huge star and, for no reason whatsoever, we're passing them along to you:

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Caption This: David Beckham and Marc Anthony Let it Out Over Basketball

Emily Farris — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 17:16:00 GMT

[Image]

Rachelle Leah Is Playboy's November Cover Girl

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 17:55:00 GMT

Can Playboy still make its cover girls famous? Could it ever?

We'd never heard of Rachelle Leah, who hosts UFC All Access on Spike, until it was announced she was next month's cover star, although we're pretty sure this means we'll be sick to death of her by the time the issue hits the streets...

Doesn't she remind you of Kate Beckinsale... or Kate Beckinsale cloned together with Victoria Beckham? Perhaps not so much in the below photos, from last year's Stuff Magazine sessions:

Don't worry, we'll post the Playboy photos as soon as one of you leaks them to us... in the meantime, enjoy!

More photos here.

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While You Were Sleeping: Olympic Mania

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 13:12:00 GMT

The 1982 and 1986 gubernatorial elections in California do not bode well for Obama's candidacy in 2008-- in a roundabout but interesting way. (As you may have heard, the troubled campaign picked Senate lion Joe Biden to do its Vice Presidential politicking.)

Interestingly, half of this country's conservatives think houses of worship should leave politics alone, up 20% from just a few years ago.

Two scary car crashes this weekend involving celebrities: David and Victoria Beckham as well as four members of Helena Bonham Carter's family...

[Bonham Carter's] cousin Fiona Bonham Carter, 51, escaped with a broken shoulder. But Fiona's son Marcus Egerton-Warburton, 14, her mother Brenda, 74, and stepfather Francis Kirkwood, 75, all died. Fiona's sister-in-law Kay Boardman, 54, also perished in the crash...
[David Beckham was] on the way to Nice airport to catch his plane to China, the pair was involved in a horrific crash, which left their black BMW with a smashed windscreen and extensive damage along the passenger side. David Beckham reportedly smashed the car laterally into a wall - leaving his wife severely shaken.

Beckham was photographed embracing a tearful Victoria in the car and comforting her, before he raced to the departure lounge with her father Tony Adams. Beckham was forced to run to catch his flight, leaving his distraught partner with the wrecked car. [via Starpulse]

A man was arrested for crashing the Olympics while wearing a tutu and women's underwear.

The New York Press on gymnasts who didn't make the cut at the Olympic trials: "Instead of going on to win medals, they have to dress up likes fantasy sailors and do a strip tease to earn a few bucks." See what the writer is talking about here.

This woman points out what we've noticed for a long time: female volleyball players play in sexy outfits, but dudes don't have to wear Speedos. Why is that?

We still don't know who Maxim's #1 girl Marisa Miller is, but Victoria's Secret certainly does...

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Woman Fined By Her Town After Two Great Years Of All-Night Sex

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 19:30:00 GMT

We spent an hour looking for a good, non-pornographic photo of a couple banging a headboard, then gave up.

It was probably worth the couple hundred English quid this woman paid for her 24-month-long run as the neighborhood's loudest sex fiend...

1) Kerry Norris is a 29-year-old with a boyfriend named Adam Hinton, who is probably bragging his ass off every night at the local pub. (Yes, he's actually named in the news article, which we thought was against the media's better judgment most of the time.)

2) Kerry lives in a three-story apartment building and spents her nights banging the hell out of herself and her boyfriend. Sometimes, their sex sessions last until six o'clock in the damn morning.

3) Neighbors have been complaining to the town for years, mentioning that Norris sunbathes topless even when there are workers doing construction on neighboring apartments. Apparently, Norris and Hinton bang their headboard so loud that their neighbors had to discontinue using the room on the opposite side of the wall for sleeping. (And, here's the real kicker: the girl who was sleeping there now wets the bed and has "nightmares.) For some reason, nothing has come of it. Until now.

4) Norris had only this to say to inquiring media minds:

"I have a normal sex life.”

Via the Asbury Park Press.

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Vanity Fair's Best Dressed List: Perfect or Pathetic?

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 13:28:00 GMT

The 2008 Vanity Fair International Best-Dressed list includes Ivanka Trump, Michelle Obama, and 8 other classy ladies, plus ten gentlemen, fashion professionals, couples, and more...

Are they missing anyone? Should Ivanka been vetoed for her mere affiliation with the Donald? And just who in blazes is Count Manfredi Della Gherardesca? He sounds like Don Novello's replacement character for Father Guido Sarducci, and no, that wasn't mean to be derogatory. Fill us in, after the jump:

Women

Charlotte Gainsbourg
Princess Alexandra of Greece
Marjorie Gubelmann
Princess Mafalda of Hesse
Fran Lebowitz
Michelle Obama
Bee Shaffer
Tilda Swinton
Ivanka Trump
Renée Zellweger

Men

Tiki Barber
Jonathan Becker
Count Manfredi Della Gherardesca
Lapo Elkann
Richard E. Grant
Lenny Kravitz
Luis and Rafael Medina
Hidetoshi Nakata
Nicolas Sarkozy
Gay Talese

Couples

David and Victoria Beckham
The Earl and Countess of Cawdor
Damon Dash and Rachel Roy
Frédéric Fekkai and Shirin von Wulffen
Mitch Glazer and Kelly Lynch
Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore
David Lauren and Lauren Bush
Viscount and Viscountess Linley
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
Ruben and Isabel Toledo

Fashion Professionals

Amy Astley
Tory Burch
Jefferson Hack
Liya Kebede
Alexandra Kotur
Margherita Missoni
Stefano Pilati
Michael Roberts
Katherine Ross
Hedi Slimane

Fashion Originals

Peter Beard
Carlyne Cerf de Dudzeele
Lisa Eisner

Hall of Fame

Alba Clemente
George Clooney
Marina Rust Connor
Anderson Cooper
Sofia Coppola
Jemima Khan
Anna Piaggi

Via Vanity Fair.

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Sloppy Seconds: Only a Hairy Mole Can Save R. Kelly Now

Emily Farris — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 21:44:00 GMT

Rock pioneer Bo Diddley is dead at 79. What do you mean you "don't know Diddley?" [Us]

Actor Kelsey Grammer suffered a heart attack while paddle boating recently. But it's said to be mild and he should be out of the hospital soon. [FameCrawler]

Tom Cruise has apparently "banned" Victoria Beckham from talking to his wife, Katie Holmes, about dieting. We agree Posh is too skinny, but really? The first time a man "bans" us from doing anything, we'll probably end up in jail. [GabbyBabble]

Hey, why don't you sell some of yourself to get through the recession? We're thinking of selling our pee, but only because we're considering sobriety for the month of June — you know, just to see what it's like. [DivineCaroline]

Angelina Jolie's fake assistant told a fake story to the press about Jolie giving birth last week. Man, if we had even a fake assistant life would be so much easier. [Jossip]

So Brad Pitt is in the hotel design business now... in Dubai, apparently. [People]

Okay, we don't know if it's hairy or not, but really, only R. Kelly's mole (or the lack of it in his alleged sex tape) can save him now. [Yahoo!]

Previously: Rumor Denied: Angelina Jolie

Today in WTF: Bend Her Into Beckham

Bryan Christian — Thu, 01 May 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Behold: the bizarre, overly Photoshopped majesty of Victorine Zeta-Beckham.

Which forces us yet again to ask: Seriously? People legitimately think looking like Posh Spice is a good thing?

[Photoshop Disasters via Jossip]

Hot Or Not: Skinny Actresses

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 17:30:00 GMT

Is a major fox like Jennifer Connelly still hot even if she drops down to 83 pounds?

A picture of her in the good ol' days provides unquestionable evidence of her basic and amazing hotness:

Film School Rejects argues that Jennifer Connelly is too skinny to be hot these days, and cites "Requiem For A Dream" as the last appearance of her sex appeal. (We, on the other hand, wonder how anyone can remember any of "Requiem," which we've blocked out like the time we saw our friend's ancient mother swimming topless.)

Thandie Newton, on the other hand, hasn't gotten the Rejects excited since "M:I 2," one of the unintentionally funniest movies ever made. (Forgive us for having blocked out her presence there, as well.) We did manage to arouse a little interest in her during "Crash" in 2005, although admittedly she was only a few pizza burgers beyond an exoskeleton.

What do we think? Are these chicks still hot, even without some curves to keep things interesting?

Check out the full list, which includes Angelina Jolie, Kate Bosworth, and Victoria Beckham, at Ten Skinny-Ass Ladies Who Used To Be Hot and report your observations in the comments.

David Beckham and Friend Protect Their Balls?

Emily Farris — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 16:51:00 GMT

We'd like to know what David Beckham and his teammate are doing below the belt. Whatever it is, it's kind-of hot.

Are they merely protecting their balls from the ball? Is this normal? They're holding on a little tight, don't you think? We don't watch enough football to know for sure, though.

[Via our not-so-slutty sister FameCrawler]

Victoria Beckham is Proud of David's "25-Foot Penis," And Rightfully So

Emily Farris — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 17:01:00 GMT

Posh in response to her husband's Armani underwear billboard ads?

"I'm proud to see his penis 25 foot tall. It's great. It's huge. It's enormous. Massive. If I looked like that I'd walk down the street in my panties too."

Looks a little stuffed, if you ask us. But we're always the proudest of the pictures that make us look really, really good.

[Via our more responsible sister, Fame Crawler]

David Beckham "Is a Spice Boy" and Other Important Facts

Emily Farris — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 16:33:00 GMT

Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham was on Larry King Live last night. We didn't catch it, but not to worry — People had people on it, and they've recapped the entire thing for us. Here's what we learned:

1. There's more to Posh than just being a Mummy who makes her kids clean their teeth.
2. David Beckham is "a Spice Boy."
3. Larry King is avuncular.
4. Tom Cruise is not pushing Scientology on the ~~Posh~~ Beckham family. Or so says Posh.
5. She recently styled Jack Nicholson for a magazine shoot. Impressive, Vicki. Impressive.