Scanner : tv

Who Would You Rather: Kate vs. Juliet?

Emily Farris — Thu, 14 May 2009 22:06:00 GMT

Okay, we don't want to give up too much about last night's LOST season finale (but hello! Jacob! WTF?!?!), but after watching Sawyer's breakdown, we have to ask, who would you rather, Kate or Juliet?

Related:

Who Would You Rather: Nancy Grace vs. Rachael Ray?

Who Would You Rather: Jon Favreau vs. Jon Favreau?

Who Would You Rather, Celebrity Chef Edition: Gordon Ramsay vs. Bobby Flay?

Today in WTF: Mom Tries To Shame Her Daughter Into Getting Breast Implants

Emily Farris — Mon, 04 May 2009 20:04:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: We've always had a semi-tortured relationship with MTV's True Life documentaries (who could forget the harrowing "I'm Addicted to Crystal Meth" episode of '02? Or the oddly chilling "I Self-Injure" episode of '07?), but it's been a while since we've been as all-out horrified by one as we were this weekend during "I Hate My Small Breasts" in which Nicole, mother to 18 year old Shacole, tries to shame her daughter into getting breast implants.

Read more...

"Sex and The City" Sequel: Mr. Big is Back!

Emily Farris — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 21:36:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: Sex and The City fans rejoice! Chris Noth is on board. Sarah Jessica Parker, overlord of all things SATC, said so.

SJP also commented on Gilles Marini's involvement in the project. Turns out she could give less of a shit about that shirtless dancing fool.

Read more...

Do Not Love: "More to Love"

Emily Farris — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 22:16:00 GMT

Fox is developing a new reality dating show for what producers call "average-looking" people. The show will be similar to The Bachelor but instead of under-fed, over-tanned people desperate to date, the contestants will be over-weight weight women competing for the love of a man who resembles...

Kevin James. (Producers describe him as a "Kevin James-type." Kevin James is that guy from The King of Queens, by the way. We'd prefer a Drew Carey-type, but whatever.)

“For six years it’s been skinny-minis and good-looking bachelors, and that’s not what the dating world looks like,” Mike Darnell of Fox said. “Why don’t real women —the women who watch these shows, for the most part—have a chance to find love too?”

This is a good question, and one that's been ignored too long. But doesn't making a point of singling out the "fatties" just contribute to the bigger problem? If "normal" people are lovable, too, why do they really need their own show? Perhaps the producers could take a cue from Tyra Banks and America's Next Top Model and let some "average-looking people" compete against the "hotties."

[LiveFeed: 'More to Love' -- Fox orders dating competition series for the heavy set]

Related:

Video: Are Reality Shows Setting Unrealistic Standards for Skanks?

Would You Watch?: Denise Richards' Reality Show

Octomom: the Reality Series (Plus Porn Stars)

Vintage Video of the Day: Riot Grrrls On 'Roseanne'

Emily Farris — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 17:54:00 GMT

When Roseanne was on the air, we watched it religiously, but we were too young to really appreciate what an amazing show it was—plus, we were too busy crushing on David and trying to be less like Becky and more like Darlene. Each time we catch a repeat, though, we're amazed at how well it portrayed the every-family (at least according to Scanner Emily). One episode we don't remember (probably because we were more Becky than Darlene) is the one where Jenna Elfman appeared on the show as a Riot Grrrl and gave housewife Roseanne a "wake up call."

Related:

Sloppy Seconds: Guess Who Has a Brand New Vagina!

C-Love in HEEB's Wasted Issue

Am I a Bad Feminist?

MTV Wants To Give YOU "A Shot At Love"

Emily Farris — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 21:33:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: Break out your bi-kinis and your dental dam, because MTV is casting for Season 4 of A Shot at Love. No details about whose bisexual "love" you'll be vying for, or whether [redacted] will be returning to the show in any capacity, but does it matter? We're confident that MTV will deliver an equally imbalanced, equally barely dressed fameball... So, could you someday wind up having beautiful bathroom sex with said fameball? Here are the details...

Read more...

STD Sunday: The "Rock of Love" Final Four Are Boring And Weird

Emily Farris — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 21:33:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: Hey, you ever noticed how hard it is to tell when Bret Michaels is having fun? He's got that waxy, worked-on face. It never betrays anything other than "I'm Bret Michaels." Well, we sort of had the same face last night. Oh, that happened, and then that happened? Huh. OK. Whatevs.

Read more...

Sloppy Seconds: In Which Our Indie Rock Wet Dream Comes True

Emily Farris — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 23:13:00 GMT

If you could go back and date every guy you ever rejected, would you? That's the plot behind the new web TV series "Hell Froze Over." [HellFrozeOver.tv]

Someone else watched Miss USA's porn debut so you don't have to (unless you want to) and raised a good question: are you supposed to watch an entire porno? [Plog]

Who said it? "I've had times when my pants split right down the middle when I bent down to reach a note." [Us]

This 20-pound-lobster video required a second email from the Brooklyn Paper today. [Brooklyn Paper]

To catch a FOXNews producer.... yeah, you get the drift. [Gawker]

These celebrities' Valentine's Day plans sound about as sexy as ours (which is not at all). [Yahoo!]

But that's okay, this video of Elvis Costello performing Jenny Lewis' "Carpetbaggers" with Lewis and Zooey Deschanel is all the Valentine's love we need.

[via Stereogum]

John Lennon Comes Back From the Dead to Make Sure Every Child Has a Laptop

Emily Farris — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 15:17:00 GMT

John Lennon would like you to make sure every child a laptop. Yes, that John Lennon. Twenty eight years after his death, the former Beatle is starring in a 30-second commercial for the One Laptop Per Child initiative.

Footage of Lennon has been mashed-up with a voice saying, "Imagine every child, no matter where in the world they were, could access a universe of knowledge. They would have a chance to learn, to dream, to achieve anything they want. I tried to do it through my music, but now you can do it in a very different way."

While we are so totally blown away by what kids can do with technology these days (no, really, we're not) we're also fairly creeped out by this commercial.

Related:

What Would You Rather? John Lennon's Hair or $48,000?

Should This Dead Man Reproduce?

Famous People We're Afraid Will Die in 2009

Scanner Highs and Lows: We're This Close to Losing it to Sarah Palin

Emily Farris — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 21:29:00 GMT

In a month we'll either get to stop hearing about Sarah Palin forever or we'll be stuck hearing about her for four years. It kind-of feels like that time when you decide you're ready to lose your virginity and just need to find someone to lose it to. You know it's either going to be really great or really terrible, but you just need it to happen already... Right? Anyone?

Highs:

We may have found a man to keep us warm this winter.

And if it doesn't work out with that guy, we might still have a chance with Michael Cera.

If we get really desperate, we got hit on by this guy (even though they guy thought we were Sarah Palin).

We finally got our hands on the Sarah Palin swimsuit competition video.

We were on the local news, and this time there were no microwave dinners in sight.

We heard that Anne Hathaway liked anal. Then that she didn't. Then you told us you like Anal Anne better.

Lows:

We were forced to think of Hugh Hefner as a classy man (damn you, Joe "Boobies" Francis!).

We got in trouble for showing peen and had to take it down. Sorry.

We let ourselves be momentarily amused by Rachael Ray.

We had to listen to Sarah Palin talk for a really long time.

And we saw her nude. Sort of.

This guy gave us nightmares.

We lost a sweet, wonderful, beautiful man.

Rumor Mongering: The Palin Kids

Emily Farris — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 19:21:00 GMT

Now, we're not ones to start rumors, or spread them. Nor do we believe in picking on the innocent children of politicians we despise.

Okay, lies! If there is a Hell, we are most certainly going. In a hand basket. However, we were specifically asked to spread this rumor, so here goes...

Hi,
With Palin involved, it's hard not to want to spread rumors [Ed note: true dat!]. Here's a note from a friend who is a major producer at [redacted] & is working on an hour segment on Palin for this [redacted] on [redacted].

"here's two little good gossip nuggets we can't confirm but think are true:

Bristol pregnancy is her second time around... (so much for that abstinance [sic] plan, eh?)

Track busted a few years ago for cutting brakes on a SCHOOL bus had to choose jail or enlisting- judge ultimatum- now all records sealed. YOWSA! "

If you can't help forwarding this, I understand!

And that is all. And we fully admit if these were children of Democrats we liked, we probably wouldn't be so excited to share this. At least we're not pretending to be impartial, right? There's definitely a warm spot in Hell waiting for us.

Related:

What'll Happen To Sarah Palin?

Top 5 Rumors We'd Like to Start About Sarah Palin... But Won't

Sloppy Seconds: It's Hailin' Palin

We Will Totally Crap Our Pants if Bristol Palin Pops Out a Mixed Race Baby

Palin's Grandbaby Daddy: Self-Proclaimed F*cking Redneck

Sloppy Seconds: Is Jessica Simpson Headed for a Life of Bad Clothes and TV Dinners?

Emily Farris — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 21:19:00 GMT

Bangkok Dangerous star Nicholas Cage just settled with the IRS and agreed to pay hundreds of thousands in back taxes. Will you pay ours while you're at it, Nick? It's only a few hundred. [Forbes]

Josh Hartnett has filed a lawsuit against the UK's Daily Mirror after the paper ran a story claiming he had sex in the public area of a hotel. [People]

Are we seriously still talking about purity rings? [MollyGood]

We didn't even know there were rumors that Pam Anderson and Michael Jackson were dating. [Us]

If you live in New York and happen to see "the worst dressed group of young people" being followed around by cameras, you have entered The Real World, Brooklyn. [NY Press]

Another one for New Yorkers: we're going to be on TV tomorrow morning. We'll be showing you how to make your TV dinners better on Fox 5's "Good Day New York" at 8:39 a.m. Catch us if you can, or want to.

Jessica Simpson was in New York this morning to perform on Good Morning America. She stopped a live, televised performance because she couldn't hear anything. She also wore the worst outfit ever, and apparently she now has a southern accent. Except when she's "with yeeewah." [ABC]

Crush of the Week: Adrian Grenier

Emily Farris — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 21:12:00 GMT

Photo by Scanner Emily. Ah, we've been waiting for a reason to use this one!

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: Need yet another reason to lust over Entourage’s Adrian Grenier? Treehuggers and Grenier-lovers, take note: he’ll be co-hosting a show on the new eco network, Planet Green. Alter Eco is an “eco lifestyle and makeover series presented by Adrian Grenier and his entourage of green activists, experts, and friends.” We can only hope there will also be giant bunnies humping squirrels.

Read more...

Go Visit Scanner Bryan on a Remote Island and Bring Us Back Some Presents

Emily Farris — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 15:01:00 GMT

Just because Mommy and Daddy don't write for the same blog anymore doesn't mean we both don't love you very, very much. It's just that Daddy had to move out because there was another place that needed him even more than we did, if you can believe it.

You can still visit him any time you want and much to Mommy's chagrin, he has a really, really big TV he'll use to bribe you with...

That's right, my darlings, you may have noticed Scanner Bryan's absence over the past few weeks. That's because he's been working to get The Remote Island, Nerve's new TV blog, all ready for your first visit. And who knows TV better than Bryan Christian?

We'll miss him, but hopefully when he can get his mind off of Gossip Girl he'll come visit us every once in a while, and we'll be feeding some of the Remote Island posts into Scanner.

But before you go see him and make Mommy wonder what he did to make you love him more, we need to come up with a new name for him. Because Remote Island Bryan does not sound as catchy as Scanner Bryan. Ideas?

[The Remote Island]

We Think That's Nikki Cox Behind Those Lips

Emily Farris — Mon, 19 May 2008 12:51:00 GMT

Ah! There are few things we hate more than Photoshopped celebrities. One of those things is constipation. The other is when a pretty woman injects things into her face that are supposed to make her prettier that really just make her less pretty... and a little scary. We can't even begin to imagine why any woman as young (30!!!) and attractive as actress Nikki Cox would do this to herself, unless she now has more sensation in her lips, or something. Even then, we'd opt for the sensation we already have.

Let's all take a few moments to remember Cox the way she was (however Photoshopped), around the time she starred in that show with the talking stuffed rabbit.

[Image, Image]

Gary Coleman Got Married Just So He Could Go On "Divorce Court"

Emily Farris — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:21:00 GMT

At least it kind-of looks that way...

Giving New Meaning to NSFW

Emily Farris — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 18:34:00 GMT

If you work at a television station and still aren't sure which buttons are for what, it's probably best to not watch porn on the job, lest you want to broadcast the good stuff to the general public.

A technician at a French Polynesian TV station did just that for about three minutes recently, though luckily, or unluckily, only 52 seconds were "explicit."

...the staffer made two errors that resulted in part of the porn movie making it to air.

"He had to tape a programme coming in from satellite from Paris. During this time he looked at some adult programmes on another channel," Ives said.

"He didn't see that he taped not the programme that came in by satellite, but the channel he was looking at. This programme was taped on the server on the computer. "His second error was that he didn't verify the programme. Normally you tape the programme and afterwards it is verified," Ives said.

Did we mention this happened about 20 minutes after a religious program ended?

[NZ Herald va Fleshbot]

Tyra Banks Looking for the Next "America's Next Top Model" Host?

Bryan Christian — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 16:06:00 GMT

MSNBC's Scoop is reporting that OK! Magazine is reporting that tensions on the set of America's Next Top Model are so tense -- catfight between Tyra and that guy who looks like J. Peterman -- that Banks may be splitting to concentrate on her talk show. (Sorry to bring such bad news, Scanner Em!)

OK! magazine reports that Banks isn’t getting along with photo shoot creative director Jay Manuel, and her days on the show could be numbered.
“It’s gotten so bad that Tyra and Jay aren’t speaking,” an insider told OK! magazine. The selective silent treatment isn’t limited to Manuel, either. “Tyra barely interacts with the contestants and only wants to show up on judging day,” the source told the magazine.

OK, so, question: which is more offensive: that we sometimes refer to Jay Manuel as "Gay Peterman" because we think he looks and acts just like John O'Hurley but queeny, or that we chickened out of saying it until we could explain ourselves. Lose/Lose!

"Battlestar GalactiSimpsons" Makes Our Spines Glow With Awesomeness

Bryan Christian — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 18:02:00 GMT

You know, we think you probably get the idea here, right? Total TV nerdgasm. So we won't distract you with jibba jabba, except to say that we are a little disappointed to find Number Six as unsexy as she is in Simpson-mode. Like, we were expecting her to be at least as hot as Marge when she got those breast implants. That was pretty hot, right? Right? Well, anyways, just click on through and have a look at President Roslin, Admiral Adama, and the rest of the cast. (Oh, and spoiler alert: this very large image is crawling with allusions to BSG Season Three, so if you're not caught up...)

Hold Your Catheter For "Over The Hills"

Emily Farris — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:33:00 GMT

We don't watch The Hills (okay, we watched one episode back when we had cable), but we read enough blogs to know every damn detail of every episode. But we are more than okay with watching Over The Hills, senior citizens re-enacting scenes from the fakality MTV show.

Video of the Day: Japanese Develop "Vibrator In Your Ass" Alarm Clock

Bryan Christian — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:07:00 GMT

Even if we did speak Japanese -- which we don't -- it's entirely possible that we still wouldn't know what in the holy hell is going here. You got a bunch of people trying to sleep and a dude reaching under the covers and waking them up with a personal massager right in their backside... Yeah, we're lost. Anyone out there care to translate for us?

TV Gets Back to What It Does Best: Canceling Shows

Bryan Christian — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 19:06:00 GMT

Now that the Writer's Strike is over, it's time to figure out what shows are coming back and when. We got a couple of links to pages here and here with hints, and heard something on NPR yesterday, and while we haven't done a case-by-case comparison, we'll summarize what we know:

-- Lots of shows -- particularly sitcoms -- are going back into production now, and will be burning off already shot episodes or shooting a handful more to be shown through May or beyond. Big names include: 30 Rock, Battlestar Galactica, The Office, My Name is Earl, Lost, and a few other shows you probably first saw on iTunes.

-- Gossip Girl -- which all of us Scanner bloggers just realized means nothing to us but has a fairly dedicated following, we hear -- will return with new episodes aired through the summer, so just like we did with 90210 and The OC, expect us to "get way more into it than we thought" around June.

-- No 24 and no more Heroes, Life, Pushing Daisies, Dirty Sexy Money, Moonlight, Private Practice or Chuck for the year; they will likely all be relaunched or continued next fall.

-- Cancelled or iffy: Bionic Woman, Cane, Life is Wild (which, like... huh?), Friday Night Lights, Prison Break, One Tree Hill, Reaper, Back to You, and ER, which we imagine NBC has been looking for an excuse like this to unload since Noah Wyle left.

-- Producer Bill Lawrence is negotiating for time to wrap up Scrubs. Bill: let it go.

Half of English Men Would Trade Sex for TV

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 17:37:00 GMT

Maybe that woman in the UK who refuses to sleep with her husband is onto something: the husbands don't want to sleep with her either.

A new survey of folks across the pond finds 47% of their menfolk would give up a full six months of sex for the pleasure of a 50 inch television. Readers who are surprised by this revelation obviously have never seen Maria Bartiromo (pictured above) or, um, Mythbusters.

It should be noted that the study mentioned here was conducted by a television manufacturer and probably only surveyed married people, who aren't getting laid anyway. Two other things are interesting, though: only one third of women said they would give up sex for six months, compared to half of the men; and only a quarter of those surveyed said they would give up smoking.

Does that mean smoking is officially better than sex?

Holiday Gift Guide: 'Twin Peaks' DVD set

Michael Martin — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 13:00:00 GMT

If you're a fan of serial television, detective stories, small towns, avant-garde filmmakers, sinister pop-jazz, Kyle MacLachlan or dancing, backward-talking dwarfs, do not — repeat, do not — miss Twin Peaks: The Definitive Gold Box Edition. Not only does it collect the entire groundbreaking series, it includes a vintage SNL parody wherein MacLachlan desperately tries to find excuses to stay in Twin Peaks after the mystery is solved. It's a position with which the addicted viewer might sympathize. ($72.99, Amazon.com) — Peter Smith

Today in Golden Globes: More Info On Something We Probably Won't Watch

Bryan Christian — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 21:57:00 GMT

As Scanner Emily noted earlier, the film adaptation of Ian McEwan's novel Atonement led the pack in today's Oscar-lites, a.k.a. the Golden Globes, whose nominations were announced by what we're guessing is a Franken-tino, patched together from the remains of lesser Tarantinos.

Atonement's seven nom haul (including three of the four applicable acting categories) struck us as something of a surprise. We love stars James McAvoy and Keira Knightley (yeah, Emily, we totally wanna make out with her too), but seem to remember the film getting a so-so reception compared to the largely violent films that we're fairly certain will dominate the Oscars this year: No Country for Old Men, Eastern Promises, Sweeney Todd, American Gangster, and possibly There Will Be Blood. (Salon Sarah seems sure that ...Blood will get a few big noms come Oscar time, btw; we remain unconvinced but curious.) Maybe the Foreign Press Association decided to play good cop to the Oscar's bad cop? Would that explain nominating seven Best Pictures this year, to ensure space for Atonement and the Oprah-produced, Denzel Washington-directed high-school debating film The Great Debaters?

In the TV categories, a few surprises as well, including multiple noms for Showtime's Californication and The Tudors, and a couple of our faves, Damages and Pushing Daisies. There are too many shows to mention, so basically just assume that all your other favorite shows got nominated for stuff as well, unless you like The Sopranos, then you're kind of SOL. Guess the Foreign Press aren't Journey fans. The complete list of nominations is here.

The Golden Globes air January 13 on NBC. We will be watching the pre-show, because we're fans of famous people in nice clothes and cleavage, and then we will be seeing what Netflix sent us that week.

UPDATE: Deadline Hollywood Daily's got a great rundown of the nominations by the numbers alone. Atonement and Charlie Wilson's War (which got very little coverage, from what we saw) got the most noms out of the movies; Damages, Longford, and 30 Rock lead the field on the teevee. Oh, and does DHD's Nikki Finke feel, like we do, that the Golden Globes are kinda Fredo to the Oscars' Michael or Vito?

Trust me, they're as meaningless as the crappy organization that gives them out.

Guess so!

Please Watch "Tin Man" So We Don't Have To

Bryan Christian — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 17:05:00 GMT

We're still a little stunned that Tin Man, a sci-fi reworking of The Wizard of Oz, ever got greenlit in the first place, let alone that it's a pretty dorky-looking 6-hour miniseries premiering this Sunday on the Sci-Fi Network. For the record, we will be skipping it. I know; we'd like to have an open mind about this, but even ignoring the whole pointless-to-redo-Oz thing, we long ago swore to ourselves never to watch anything with characters named things like "Glitch" or "Raw." (I think it was Hook that brought us to that decision, and frankly it's Hook that this reminds us of more than anything else.) But if any of y'all take a look, please let us know what you think?

It's too bad we can't bring ourselves to watch this, actually, because they've assembled a great bunch of actors, and we're not just talking about movie stars like Alan Cumming, Richard Dreyfuss, or the ever adorable Zooey Deschanel. Neal McDonough's been a favorite of ours for a while -- he might have been the only reason we stuck through so much Boomtown a few years back -- and the idea of seeing 90210's Kathleen Robertson as a baddie seriously floats our boat. She always struck us as being well-suited for a show like Buffy, somewhere she could work the pert, maniacal charm that occasionally flared up in between makeout sessions with Steve Sanders. (Maybe The Business is that show? Haven't caught any of that yet...) Anyway, alas.

Now, if a bunch of y'all write in and say "No, Scanner, it's brilliant, you gotta see it!!!", we promise to take a peek. But our guess: not so much.

But hey, we don't wanna leave on a down note, so click through for an Oz-some treat!

Dear Cocksuckers at HBO: Finish "Deadwood" Already!

Bryan Christian — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 17:30:00 GMT

So, a few weeks ago, we ran across this interview on CHUD with Hitman star and former sherriff of TV's Deadwood Timothy Olyphant, and it totally bummed us out.

Now that it appears that the Deadwood TV movies are probably not going to happen, what are your thoughts on the show's legacy?[...] Do you feel kind of gypped that you won't have a chance to go back and finish up with those bookend films?

Honestly? It always feels a little... I could really give a shit. I mean it in the most respectful way. I had a great time on that show, and I am thankful to have that experience. To look at it from any other angle is, I think, a slippery slope. I don't think anybody owes me anything. I walk away from that saying thank God it existed. I have great relationships from that show. And you know what's better than seven or eight years on TV? Three years on TV.

OK, well, nuts. As some of you no doubt know, Deadwood was unceremoniously canceled by HBO after its third season, by which time it had developed its own very profane taxonomy, about 30 ongoing story arcs, and a cult following that, while never Sopranosish in size or intensity, nonetheless would probably have stuck with the show through thick, thin, and possibly even messianic surfers. There were rumors of wrapping up the plots with a few movie length installments, but nothing's come of it, despite the continuing dedication of the fans. And if this interview is to be believed, it'd be hard to imagine the show coming back without Olyphant as Sherriff Seth Bullock anyways.

Well, cut to last week, and Ian McShane talking about doing Pinter onstage with Time Out New York.

Deadwood was a creation. That’s what made the show a great piece of television. [Creator David Milch] created a time and mythos and a language. I found it quite amazing. Even now, we talk about it coming back.

Really? I heard that HBO finally dismantled the set.

Well, I said that in an interview, but then HBO put out a thing that said, “If we do the two follow-up movies, they would take place after the flood and the fire, so it wouldn’t necessarily be the same set.”

Hey, you know what, HBO? Shit or get off the goddamned pot. Olyphant would do it if the price was right, and let's be honest: ain't like you got much else with a guaranteed audience base. If you start now, you could probably get it done in time to premiere alongside whatever drama you got to replace The Wire. Or John From Cincinatti. Or The Sopranos. Anyway, just think about it.

PS: We mean "cocksuckers" affectionately.

Writers Strike Inadvertently Provokes Return of Prime Time Spandex

Bryan Christian — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 21:40:00 GMT

Over at Jossip, they're tallying up the TV shows that have stopped production owing to the Writers Strike, and perhaps more importantly, they're giving a preview of the "scriptless" televisual entertainments that the networks will be offering up in their place. Among them: a Dennis Miller gameshow, a mother-daughter beauty pageant contest, and the return of American Gladiators.

OK, we're not a big-shot producers or anything, but seriously: we surrender. Just tell us where to send the checks... er... anyway we can use our Amazon card?

Inconceivable! Wallace Shawn's About to Learn the "L-Word"

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 18:00:00 GMT

Holy hell! Wallace Shawn is going to be on the next season of the L-Word. This is really special. According to this article, his character is going to finance Jenny's movie. Our favorite undersized lisping man to join forces with the L-Word character everyone loves to hate. So fantastic!

This casting move will allow us to merge our fantasy where we are Princess Buttercup's younger, cooler sister with our fantasy where we are Shane's younger, more emotionally stable sister. Come January we are never leaving the house.