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Stuff Your Stocking With Fleshbot's Top Sex Toys of 2008

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 22:33:00 GMT

There's the Bo, the We-Vibe, the Curve, and something called the Babeland Nubby G.

These and six other sex toys round out Fleshbot's list of the Top 10 Sex Toys of 2008...

The full list includes: 10) The We-Vibe, a vibrating cock ring; 9) The Bo, a silicone cock ring, seen in the above-right photo; 8) The Babeland Nubby G, which had some problems back with toxic chemicals, is reborn in a bang-for-buck model; 7) The Curve, which Fleshbot calls one of the best dildos ever; 6) The Mia, seen in the above left photo, "could pass for a USB device" and is therefore recommended for air travel; 5) The Vibe, despite its imperfect "navigation system"; 4) The Jollie, a dildo of massive girth, and not to be confused with the Jolly Ol' Saint Nick or Angelina Plus 400 Pounds; 3) The Eleven, the $300 dildo for those of you not hit by the economy in any meaningful way; 2) We dated a Gigi in high school-- let's just say we'll order one of these for ourselves. And... #1...

The Sasi. You may recall we announced its release in terrified tones just four short months ago:

SaSi (pronounced "sassy"), is smart-ass vibrator, and does the following:
1) remembers what you like and knows how to repeat itself
2) weilds a "smooth round massage head" like the tip of a tongue, "creating a soft kneading" of varying speeds, in an apparent attempt to replicate some hot oral sex. According to the website.

See the full list here.

Related:

Babeland Launches The Erratic, Dangerous, Man-Eliminating Vibrator

Did You Vote? Then Babeland Would Like To Give You A Free Sex Toy...

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The Giant Penis Is Watching Over You

Did You Vote? Then Babeland Would Like To Give You A Free Sex Toy...

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 20:28:00 GMT

Ben & Jerry's... Starbucks... or Toys in Babeland?

Which establishment will you hit up first with your "I Voted" sticker on? All three are offering delicious giveaways in honor of tomorrow's Electoral Grudgefest...

According to your favorite islamofascist news network (MSNBC!), Babeland is giving away $15-20 in sex toys, for starters:

Babeland, with stores in New York, Los Angeles and Seattle, is offering a pair of self-gratifying incentives for voters who present their registration cards, ballot stubs or “word of honor” that they voted next Tuesday.
The rewards are no-so-subtle reminders of this year’s campaign rhetoric. For men, it’s the “Maverick,” a "sleeve" for self-pleasuring. According to a press release, “He’s always there to lend a hand, he works for every man, and he bucks the status quo.” Women can choose the “Silver Bullet” mini-vibrator, which is “a magical solution to difficult problems” and “a great stress-reliever during these troubled economic times!” The promotion lasts through Nov. 11.

Meanwhile, Starbucks is giving away "a free brew" (you only need to enter into the honor system for that) and Ben & Jerry's is giving out free scoops from 5-8pm, with no indication of voting requirement.

So, vote in the morning, get a free coffee, work (or, better yet, GOTV), then hit up Ben & Jerry's at 5, swing by Babeland for the Silver Bullet (kind of a creepy name for a Presidential election, but whatever), and have a fun evening no matter who wins.

Via MSNBC.

Related:

Vote Girl: Disenfranchised

Wired Magazine Tracking Real-Time Voter Fraud... So You Know Where To Not Vote

Yes Girls for Obama

If You're A Liberal And Terrified Your Vote Won't Count...

The 10 Best Things About Vibrators

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 14:45:00 GMT

Our substitute blogger, Byron Dafoe, writes in: "Scanner Brian's tongue-in-cheek post about 'fearing' a partner-eliminating vibrator may have given the mistaken impression that we are anti-vibrator. Quite the contrary. In order to celebrate Babeland's new ROBORUB 3000 (or whatever it is) we present our top 10 reasons why we love the vibrator."

10. You can lean back and enjoy the beauty of a woman’s orgasm with the same studied intensity you bring to your crazy friend's gallery opening.

9. Norwegian Dildo Parties?

8. Tag ‘em in and take a break: it’s sandwich time!

7. An ample substitute for bachelor parties too poor to hire a stripper (?!)

6. Remote Control Torture Fun

5. Enjoy double-penetration without the awkward run-ins at the next party.

4. Eggs. Need we say more?

3. As much as you may not want to admit it, everyone’s ass is just loaded with nerve endings. Male or female, you too can enjoy every single one of them.

2. Orgasm. Times 10.

1. See #2 again, and again, and again.

-by Byron Dafoe, whose work has appeared in Playboy and many other publications and is filling in for Verena this week

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Babeland Launches The Erratic, Dangerous, Man-Eliminating Vibrator

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 20:16:00 GMT

Truth be told, our title was written in retaliation-- in fear, really, since if this thing actually works, it would mean the virtual end of the need for females to have sexual partners...

SaSi (pronounced "sassy"), is smart-ass vibrator, and does the following:

1) remembers what you like and knows how to repeat itself

2) weilds a "smooth round massage head" like the tip of a tongue, "creating a soft kneading" of varying speeds, in an apparent attempt to replicate some hot oral sex. According to the website:

The SaSi is the closest (and we mean very close) you’ll get to cunnilingus from a vibrator, thanks to the undulating nub under the vibrator’s skin.

3) pleases the eye with its "iPod inspired interface."

It's availabe exclusively (in North America, at least) from Babeland. This NSFW video will perhaps tempt the ladies some more... and possibly lead to dismissive remarks from their lovers in the comments section...

Via Babeland.

Video of the Day: Toys in Babeland Now on YouTube

Emily Farris — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 21:49:00 GMT

Toys in Babeland, your one stop shop for all your sexytime needs is taking their show on the road. Sort of. They're now posting video sales pitches of their inventory. Here, Jayme Waxman, a sex toy educator describes the how the cold, hard metal of the Jupiter wand feels when it's all up inside you. For anyone looking for a cheap thrill: this video is about as un-sexy as it gets, but you just might be tempted to buy a Jupiter Wand. We are. And it's for boys and girls.