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The Art of the Nude Supermodel

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 18:22:00 GMT

Russell James is the supermodel's photographer. He has worked for Sports Illustrated, Vogue, and Marie Claire and photographed pretty much every "name" model on the planet, including Gisele Bundchen, seen above on the cover of James' new book.

The photographer is particularly known for his nude snaps, many of which you've seen time and again on Scanner...

The 300-page self-titled book is the result of ten years of great art from the former host of VH-1's The Shot. James himself was unavailable for comment at press time to comment, but we know from reading press about him in the past that he is currently documenting the Aborigines in Australia and directing televison commericals for Victoria's Secret and others.

Here's something to tide you over before your copy arrives. In order: Adriana Lima (her second photo here may not be in the book, but you won't mind), Heidi Klum, and Karolina Kurkova.

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Padma Lakshmi Suddenly, Surprisingly Naked

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 16:58:00 GMT

The nude issue of Allure, which is out Tuesday the 21st of April, promises to be a smash success, thanks to the naked presence of Eliza Dushku, Chelsea Handler, Sharon Leal, Lynn Collins, and the hostess with the most sexiness, Padma Lakshmi.

The Top Chef star talked to the magazine about her breasts, her body, and sleeping in the nude-- in that order...

ALLURE: What did you do to prepare for the shoot?
PADMA LAKSHMI: "I exercised a little bit extra, but I actually think I look better when I have a little bit of weight on—my breasts are fuller, and I'm curvier than when I'm at my thinnest."

ALLURE: Are you confident about your body?
PL: "Yes; I like the way I look. I think I look better now than I did in my 20s, because I'm more confident about my body—and I don't want to look like anyone but myself."

ALLURE: Do you sleep naked?
PL: "I tend to sleep in the nude. I'm an innately tactile person and a very sensual-leaning woman. You have to use the word 'leaning' or it sounds like I'm boasting! When I'm in my own private space, I do spend time with very little on."

Emphasis added. Here are some more partial-nudes of Lakshmi from a photo shoot we've only recently discovered...

As we mentioned, Eliza Dushku and others also posed "nude" for the Allure issue...

ALLURE: What about [getting naked] these days?
ED: "I'll strip down to my underwear and my Ugg boots when I eat lunch in my trailer."

Sharon Leal, formerly of Boston Public and Guiding Light, and recently of Dreamgirls, was a bit shaky on the whole nudity thing:

ALLURE: What happened when you dropped the robe?
SL: "I just breathed and said to myself, 'I'm comfortable, I'm beautiful; I'm comfortable, I'm beautiful,' until I didn't have to say that anymore.... It's liberating, but posing once may be enough."

Chelsea Handler, the talk show host and standup comic, practically leapt at the chance to show off:

ALLURE: What was it like on the set?
CH: "I think it was easy—you're naked a couple times a day, so I think it would be easy for most women."
ALLURE: What body parts are you most proud of?
CH: "My boobs are good. They're real and perky. Even if you can't see them, the important thing is that I know about them, and the guys I've slept with know about them."

Lynn Collins, star of the recent bootleg sensation X-Men Origins: Wolverine agreed:

LYNN COLLINS: "Women with confidence in their bodies are the sexiest thing, so I put on my cape of courage and did it. It was quite liberating!"
ALLURE: What body part were you nervous to expose?
LC: "He shot that place where your butt meets your thigh. It's a special place on a woman; it's a highly erogenous zone, but it's one of the hardest places to get in shape."

Via Allure.

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America's Next Topless Model Is... The Judge

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:03:00 GMT

Paulina Porizkova turns 44 this week-- can you believe it? Either way, hopefully you'll agree that she's as stunning as ever.

The Czech-born supermodel was recently captured cavorting topless-- on a U.S. beach, no less. This woman has nothing to hide, prove, or be sorry about, so all those who made nasty comments on blogs where these photos appeared can kiss her bikini-covered...

Here's what a handful of ungrateful children of God had to say about these snaps:

her nipples are huge compared to her breasts! She has ugly breasts in my opinion. [ugly breasts? The only ugly breasts are certan boob jobs, okay?]

around the kids? really? [right, teach those kids to be ashamed of their bodies!]

her nipples were used too much ..they are dark color...well...she is still in good shape [what do you mean? from breastfeeding?!]

You are great.I love to be able to contact you. Ayman Awwas + 962 79 556 00 22 [uh... yeah... Portizkova didn't post these herself, you know]

And a few true winners:

most people wished they looked this good in their 20s let alone at 43. She looks AMAZING.whoever said she has ugly breasts are stupid. in fact anyone talking shit about her body is stupid...

she's better looking than the competitors

Anonymous, if topless women on the beach bother you, maybe it's time for a trip to Europe to broaden your horizons.

Broaden your horizons... there's a sexual pun in there somewhere, if only we knew what to do with it.

Advertising Event Promotes Full-Frontal Nudity As Business Model

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:50:00 GMT

For the past several months, we've been reporting on the advertising industry's desperate descent into nudity-focused marketing campaigns. Normally, we would applaud any stripping away of censorship, but marketing agencies have always pissed us off by cynically co-opting all up-and-coming movements, milking them, and so oversaturating the mainstream with their ideas that even outsiders want nothing to do with what they once loved. (Case in point, graffiti-- once Madison Avenue realized hip kids "dug" that fresh style, everything in the 1980s had that awful, fake "tagged" look. Now we want to vomit anytime anyone mentions "taggers.")

Luckily, in Austria, people have a healthier attitude toward the nude form. Of course, that won't stop advertisers from having an event specifically geared toward nudity in hopes more people will pay attention...

We better let the website itself explain their 21st century ideas:

XIPAX - Show us your best bits.
XIPAX.com gives creative people the chance to present their ad campaigns – and of course their best work. The key message of the campaign: Show me yours and I’ll show you mine. The idea: double meanings that encourage people to show off their best work, but also hint at showing oneself in the nude. The kick-off for the campaign: a guerilla promotion at the annual gala hosted by Creativ Club Austria (CCA).

Why they have to do this naked is beyond us-- just sounds like another gimmick. But the video is mighty entertaining... watch as a guy comes up to the stage, drops trou, and holds up a sign promoting XIPAX. How many years before Valtrex tries this at a Dodgers game?

NOTE: We could not embed the video after all, so click here to see the multiple naked people...

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Bai Ling Trying To Make Mickey Rourke Regret Dumping Her

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 21:12:00 GMT

Today's Gawker and an edition of the New York Post are excited to report on superstar genius man-actor Mickey Rourke's revived love life. First, they point out, Mickey fended off Bai Ling, going stag to the Oscars, and now faces rumors that a Russian model is trying to use him for fame.

Both sources claim an unnamed "pop star/model" is leaking gossip to Russia's tabloids about her plans to marry the actor. Yeah, and I'd like to announce my engagement to Anne Hathaway, while we're at it.

Meanwhile, Bai Ling is doing some leaking of her own-- namely, these nude photos-- in an attempt to rebound from Rourke.

And the classics that captured his imagination in the first place...

Click the photos for the larger image.

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Audrina Partridge Already Reduced to Nude Advertisements

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 16:10:00 GMT

Audrina Partridge is gearing up to star in a (hilariously awful!) spinoff of (the hilariously awful!) MTV fiction show The Hills.

Partridge and her ridiculous breast implants are apparently worthy of their own sitcom, since Partridge was such an exciting addition to The Hills that the 30-program could hardly cram in all her personal and professional trials and tribulations. Those mainly consisted of sitting around a pool, talking in an annoying voice, and not pretending to get married in Mexico.

So, MTV decided it can't have Partridge promote her upcoming series by going on "talk" shows, because it doesn't want to scare off its last two potential viewers. Instead, Partridge landed a deal with Divine Rights of Denim jeans, which continues the trend of having celebrity spokespeople pose nude to advertise their lame products...

Have we vented enough yet? Good.

By the way, the ads are above and directly below, followed by what you really clicked on this for: the lost nude Audrina Partridge photos.

More of the Divine Rights shoot here.

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Skinny Blonde Beer As Misogynist As It Is Gimmicky

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 16:37:00 GMT

Is this beer offensive, stupid, or stupid and offensive? Or so harmless and "charming" it's worth drinkin'?

Not safe for work photo below... if you can spot it.

This so-called "low carb" Australian beer has just been released to a salivating media market. The three dudes involved in its creation claim their "healthy" brew will take the country's drinking scene by storm...

...thanks to their nudity gimmick, of course. As the drinker consumes their beer, the "Skinny Blonde's" bikini gradually disappears, revealing her boobers. Interestingly, their website almost never mentions the concept:

100% Preservative Free
Skinny Blonde contains no preservatives, chemical additives or animal products whatsoever so its OK for vegans.
100% Australian
Unlike most beers brewed in Australia Skinny Blonde is 100% Australian owned and operated.
100% Beer
Skinny Blonde is 5.2% alc/vol, low-carb and as tasty as its name sake.

But the Times does.

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Italian Porn Star Strips at the Milan Stock Exchange

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 22:19:00 GMT

Man, porn stars are all over the media today. Just head back to the homepage and scroll down-- even Kim Kardashian makes an appearance!

22-year-old Sicilian actress Laura Perego trumps them all-- "walked into the stock market in a black coat which she took off to reveal her body painted in the colours of the Italian flag, naked apart for some tiny underwear," according to the Associated Press.

She accused the government of incompetence in its financial dealings and of leaving Italians with nothing but their underwear after taxes are taken out. Man, this is the spokesperson Michael Steele has been dying for. Fox News is sure to interview her any day now.

Of course, the "family values" motto the Republicans stand behind doesn't really jibe with these pics:

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Zac Efron Mud Wrestles A Nude Model

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 16:36:00 GMT

High School Musical star Zac Efron is waiting for his Bigger Break.

The 21-year-old star of three blockbuster Disney films has yet to make the mainstream leap. As he tells Gus Van Sant in this Interview interview, he doubts most big shot directors have even heard of him-- although "their daughters might."

VAN SANT: Is your schedule today really tight?

EFRON: Not today. I’m not really doing anything. I’m looking at some furniture, because I just got a new place, so I’m figuring out if I want this desk. I’m sitting at it right now. It’s a vintage Herman Miller desk from, like, 1940-something. I don’t know . . . I’m just deciding if I’m going to want it in my house, or if I’m just going to completely wreck it. [laughs] Herman Miller’s stuff is really, really modern, but they have some pretty brilliant designs. [Ed note: Herman Miller is credited with inventing the office cubicle.] I’m sitting at this desk, and it’s the most well-built thing I’ve ever sat at . . . It’s a beautiful piece. It’s got this amazing wood grain that I’ve never seen in any piece of furniture. It’s also a little pricey . . .

This could end up being an enlightening interview-- after all, how many celebrities expound on the merits of Herman Miller's work?

[On new movie 17 Again] At the time, it was the most unique opportunity that presented itself. There were several roles that I could have done where I would have played essentially another high school student, or they were romances or stories in a high school setting, and there were lots of things that people wanted to turn into musicals. But the whole idea of playing a 37-year-old guy as a 17-year-old was just the most exciting prospect for me. I was really intrigued by the idea. I’ve always been kind of an old man, so to speak.

Unfortunately, Efron still can't get no respect. All anyone wants to talk about is this photo:

Here's the flash of the session. Hmm... wonder what Vanessa Hudgens is up to these days...

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Top 5 Monica Bellucci Sex Scenes

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 21:08:00 GMT

When you delve into the careers of foreign actors and actress who do sex scene after sex scene in their films, you begin to realize that no one's ever seen any of these movies. They are just unlabeled clips that float around the internet until we see them and say, "This would be a great waste of everyone's time on a Friday afternoon."

That is definitely the case with Italian star Monica Bellucci, an actress everyone recognizes but no one knows where from. In her storied career, Bellucci, now 44, has starred in such classics as Shoot 'Em Up, Malena, The Passion of the Christ, the Matrix sequels, and The Brothers Grimm. Don't rent any of these movies-- just watch their most memorable scenes here...

5. Monica has sex with the camera in an unknown movie. Pretty self-explanatory, really.

4. Monica has sex with a lemon in Malena. Also, is it just us or is Morricone ripping off the theme from Godfather here?

3. Monica stands there while a man has sex with her, also in Malena. This would've been higher on the list if a) she wasn't basically being violated here and b) that kid wasn't in the way with his cryin' eyes.

2. Monica having sex with a guy (!) in a car wash in Combien tu m'aimes. Betcha ten bucks that crying kid is watching from inside the gas station booth.

1. Monica getting nailed to the wall by a mass murderer in Shoot 'Em Up. Well, as long as it's with Clive Owen, it can't be all that horrible can i-- oh, wait... yes, this is a pretty ridiculous sex scene. With a punchline, no less...

Honorable Mentions: Monica is naked in just about everything. For example, there's this, from Brotherhood of the Wolf and two other films here and here. Any of them could've been #1...

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So You Think You Can Dance... Topless?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 18:14:00 GMT

So You Think You Can Dance? is a hit around the world, even though not one person has ever admitted to watching it. So, to stir up some interest in the Australia version's second series (a.k.a. "season"), contestant Penny Higgs decided to pose topless for an online magazine.

Surprisingly, her producers didn't have a problem with it...

According to local news source Adelaide Now, Higgs posed for the photos over a year ago and, remarkably enough, the producers were actually cool with it. (By the way, we're surprised not because we disagree but because you almost never hear about "reasonable" reality show producers.)

While producers were unaware of the photographs until contacted by Confidential, a spokesman later determined they were 12 months old.

"We would have been concerned if she'd done it without telling us but they're old shots," he said.

Penny Higgs is favored by some to win the self-promotion competition, with host and #1 recording artist Natalie Bassingthwaighte the major competition to become the show's breakout star.

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Apparently, Olga Kurylenko Would Rather Be Naked Than... Anything Else

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 14:45:00 GMT

Last year's Bond babe and budding Hollywood It Girl is rapidly disappearing from the movie world.

In the months since the release of "Bond 22" (i.e.... and it still bothers us to say this... Quantum of Solace), Olga Kurylenko has all but vanished from the spotlight. Then again, if you've been keeping an eye on the internet for her seemingly relentless yet obscure photo shoots, you have been seeing a lot more of her than usual.

Her in-production film credit is this one:

Orlando Bloom, Vincent Cassel (Eastern Promises) and Olga Kurylenko (Quantum of Solace) have signed on to star in The Cross, which will be directed by Andrew Niccol (Lord of War).

According to Variety, Niccol has initiated pre-production on the $24 million sci-fi escape story.

Set in a border town, The Cross returns Niccol -- Oscar-nommed for writing The Truman Show -- to his favorite domain: the near future. Bloom plays a man seeking to cross a mysterious border, something no one else has achieved; Cassel limns the guard who will go to any lengths to foil him. Kurylenko takes the femme lede. [MovieWeb]

Yeah, uh... we'll wait with bated breath for that one...

Anyway, she also continues to do what she does best, namely this photo shoot... and these...

Via various sources. Uncropped version of the first b&w photo via this link.

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The Rise and Fall of Lindsay Lohan

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 14:45:00 GMT

We try not to dwell on the weight fluctuations of celebrities, since our greatest collective fear on this blog is-- shot in the dark-- that someone will point out our own problems with bacon cheeseburgers and failed diet plans.

But when the entire internet is worried that Lindsay Lohan is starving herself to death, we really have no choice but to investigate. Thankfully, we didn't have to spend all our waking hours on this or stare too hard at the evidence... it's pretty clear from this topless shoot Lohan did recently for Hedi Slimane that there's at least one thing wrong with her...

Drumroll, rimshot... she has fake boobs.

For years, scientists and other observers (i.e. mean bloggers) have commented that Lindsay's bust enhanced at precisely the time she transitioned to "adult" roles. (Unfortunately, not that kind of "adult" role.) No one could say definitively... until now, at least, according to those same mean bloggers. They're playing the "told you so" song and pointing out that the new ultra-skinny Lindsay should have sagging breasts, what with all the weight loss.

In other words, if we were going to title this article more inappropriately, it would be headlined: "The Rise and Rise of Lindsay Lohan's Boobs."

Here's what they're referring to-- the only two boob pictures from the shoot:

What do you think? Does this prove, disprove, or have no bearing on the theories? Also, um, should we give her one of our bacon cheeseburgers or something? Disturbing stuff...

Via Hedi Slimane's website.

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Does This Supermodel Look Fat To You?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 23:30:00 GMT

And even if she did, so what? It's one thing if she were morbidly obese, but she's not even close to overweight-- and besides, we thought this country had better things to do than criticize a woman's weight.

Earlier this week, Heidi Klum was attacked by a publicity-starved designer for being "too fat" to walk a runway. This German designer, who is too big of a douche to be named here, lest we further his career, is well deserving of the tremendous backlash that his comments were met with.

"Wolfgang is obviously trying to revive his sagging career and get press for himself by riding Heidi''s coattails," the New York Post quoted spokesperson for Klum as saying. [Tim Gunn added] "I can wrap my hand around her bicep."

It's a shame Wolfgang isn't a female person, because we could offer a stockpile of "sagging" puns that would, unfortunately, only stoop to ~~his~~ her low. Anyway, Ol' Saggy Nuts is probably just jealous that his fellow German is more famous than he is... and that Seal won't lend her out for any of Max Mosley's orgies.

Here are some photos from Klum's recent shoot for GQ. Even if they are doctored/Photoshopped, how fake could they be? This woman will be hot until the day she dies, or at least age 67, whichever comes later.

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Kate Moss Stocks Up On Beer, Strips For New York Magazine

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 21:46:00 GMT

Kate Moss ruffled a few feather boas this week when she did a shoot for Roberto Cavalli in Los Angeles.

The New York Post alleges Moss showed up two hours late (don't they plan for that in advance but telling her to show up at 9 when they mean 11?) Immediately, the supermodel started polishing off a steady stream of beers (seeing as how this is the Post, it was probably two cans), sat on another model's lap and didn't look at or speak to him, which must've been hot for him. Once the last photo was taken, she stormed out.

No such rumors have risen from this New York shoot, the photos from which appeared online this week. However, there was plenty more to talk about...

Moss addressed those petty pregnancy rumors in the way we hoped she would, although we wished she had just said "can't a girl drink a beer on a Saturday night in peace?!"

I’ve got a clear idea of what I want for lingerie. I’ve just started wearing bras. It’s a miracle. Not today, but I have been. Great timing for my lingerie collection. I’ve just grown breasts. I am a woman now! It’s true. No, honestly, I’ve never worn a bra in my life. Ever! Ever! It’s so awful, even my friends are phoning me up and saying “Are you pregnant?” And I’m like, “No! I just put on a couple of pounds, and they went in the right place.” Isn’t that weird? And how perfect for lingerie. [New York]

She's a woman now, just because she has to wear a bra? Don't let anyone tell you you need boobs, Kate, but please let someone do something about that hair...

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Sports Illustrated Fails At Bikinis, Tries Bodypainting

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 16:55:00 GMT

Sports Illustrated is trying everything to ensure the 2009 Swimsuit Issue is a gigantic success. They've enlisted up-and-coming megastar Bar Rafaeli, soon-to-be-fiancee of Leonardo DiCaprio, as their cover model.

But more importantly, they've brought back the bodypaint...

A few photos of the Grenada shoot by Randall Grant have come our way and you're either going to love 'em or leave 'em. They're definitely not for everyone. (The models below are, in order, Brooklyn Decker, Irina Shayk, Julie Henderson, and Jessica White, who is also seen above.)

Gaahh! What is Ben Franklin doing glaring out of her vagina?

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Super-Exclusive Nude Calendar Makes Us Want to Go to Africa For Some Reason

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 20:33:00 GMT

These pictures have floated past us on the internet on at least a dozen different occasions, from one mysterious origin or another. At one time, Kate Moss was rumored to have participated in the 2009 Pirelli calendar, an arty nude photography review limited to 30,000 copies, but we haven't been able to find any photos from this year.

The rest, however, which involve naked models mounting elephants and their, um, rigid tusks, should suffice.

Thanks to Jalopnik and other sources for their links. Don't forget to purchase the calendar-- if you can figure out how!

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Really? The Sexiest Commerical Ever Made?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 20:01:00 GMT

Is this (VERY NSFW) Danish commercial "the sexiest ever made," as one blog has claimed? Well, it's either that or the stupidest. Hell, it could even be Robert Palmer's final, posthumously-released music video.

Remember our complaint the other day about American Apparel's nude Sasha Grey ad and how it was basically porn with an unrelated ad slapped on the end of it? Yep... this is a Siemens Washing Machine commercial.

(By the way, that tagline at the end? It translates to: "Life over the edge.")

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Lingerie Football Linebacker Sues Ex For Leaking Her Nude Photos

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 18:49:00 GMT

Melissa Berry, a linebacker for the lingerie football league (for some reason, the words "linebacker" and "lingerie" don't go together in our brains), is suing her ex for 15 g's after it was discovered he posted photos of her giving a blow job.

We may have to side with him on this one: since we can't seem to find any records of the nude photos online (and unless someone sends us a link, damn it), we have to suspect they were never there in the first place. However, given this guy's profession, we almost hope this story is true...

According to various news outlets, Mark Dawson, the 45-year-old ex in question, is a "safe dating expert." (Lesson Number One: Don't Let Your Boyfriend Have Possession of Your Nude Photos.) After Berry dumped his sorry ass, Dawson decided to get revenge by showing the photos, which were on his cell phone; somehow, Berry got ahold of the phone and smashed it to pieces. Her former lover responded by demanding $500 for the device's replacement; when this wasn't provided, he started forwarding the nude photos of Berry. Recipient #? Berry's mother.

Recipient's #2 through infinity would be the internet, if, again, anyone ever actually saw the photos before they were pulled. Based on the claim by Berry's attorney that they feature his client engaged in a “particularly private, intimate sexual act,” we can imagine they involve something like the below photo, only more naked-er.

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Exclusive: The 2009 Playboy Calendar Revealed

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 22:33:00 GMT

I know, I know... wall calendars are already on the bargain shelves at Barnes & Noble, so how is this new?

Hey, if you don't want to save $10 and see the photos for free, don't click the "Read more..." next time. Here are a few of our favorite ~~thongs~~ Miss Monthlies, beginning with June, then hitting up September, October, and December.

You can purchase the full calendar for a mere ten George Washington's, via this link, at Playboy.com.

Agyness Deyn Looks Even More Like A Boy In Sketch Form

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 19:56:00 GMT

Ever wanted to see nude drawings of Agyness Deyn, Karl Lagerfeld and Donatella Versace?

Us neither, but they're after the jump anyway...

The point of these semi-nudes? We're not sure, although they are all drawings for Grazia Daily, a UK-based publication, and by Henry Holland. Holland, an artist/designer/fashion person, is widely recognized as the man who discovered Deyn, a feat of historic and earth-shaking proportions.

Photo via the Bosh.

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More Olga Kurylenko Nude Photos Surface

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 21:01:00 GMT

When Olga Kurylenko appeared onscreen during Quantum of Solace for the first time, we had two thoughts: "Wow, that was the first time we've seen a Bond girl naked before her career took off" and "She's so much more attractive without all the bad lighting and photoshopping offscreen..."

These photos prove that, as bad as Marc Forster's storytelling technique was, at least he made Olga look hotter than she does in these lousy pictorals...

Not that we're complaining about these photos, but they don't do her justice.

From various sources.

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48-Year-Old Carol Alt Finally Does Playboy

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 21:55:00 GMT

To wrap up the week in nudity, we had to decide between Keri Russell's creepy shoot for Details or the Carol Alt Playboy photos. There's no question that Carol's are hotter... but is it a mirage, a Photoshopping miracle or is the former supermodel as bodacious* as ever?

You can buy a copy of the December issue of Playboy here.

*Forgive us for using that word, but we were just reading a story about how Keanu Reeves thinks a Bill & Ted sequel is possible. We really want to write that-- sort of like the Rocky Balboa for the dumb comedy set.

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Dita Von Teese in German Playboy - the Sequel

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 19:12:00 GMT

Last week, we leaked what turned out to be a cropped photo from Dita Von Teese's stunning fourth photo shoot for Playboy, this time for the German edition.

We set out to right that wrong with the following pics...

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Kim Cattrall: The Magically Naked 52-Year-Old Woman

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 17:46:00 GMT

There's no question Kim Cattrall has aged well. But the Sex and the City movie was obnoxious and misguided endeavor and the show itself has turned into the television equivalent of Pulp Fiction or the Beat Generation-- the original's cultural takeover and subsequent imitators have made us wary of the originals.

Are we tired of her yet? Are we interested in seeing the perennially topless actress in the buff once again, at age 52, for an artistic cause?

The sex-starved editors at the BBC apparently thought we'd care, as they sent us these tantalizing photos of Cattrall and some cohorts recreating a classic painting to help raise the 50 million pounds necessary to save the original.

Here are the photos... as for the painting, you can see that here. Yep, nothing like the recreation.

And Miss Cattrall features as Diana in the picture alongside art students from the Courtauld Institute and performers from the hit West End burlesque show La Clique.

Tom said: 'Kim is the perfect Diana. Just like the Greek goddess, she combines beauty with a sense of threat.
'She was a great sport and at 52 made an amazing Diana. She more than held her own among a room full of twenty-somethings.

What's your take?

Via the Daily Mail.

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The English Are Still Too Prudish To Appreciate Nudity

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 19:11:00 GMT

Based on the public outcry surrounding a university student's nude photo in a collegiate newspaper, some Brits are clearly in possession of long-dormant puritanical streaks.

The unnamed 21-year-old blond from Homerton College, wearing lingerie sans top, posed for the third page of Vivid Magazine, an anonymous Cambridge University publication, apparently a riff on the Sun's regular feature of Page 3 Girls...

Unfortunately, no fully nude photos have leaked onto the web, but we do have a blurry one for you:

"I can't believe she agreed to pose for the magazine. Everyone has been talking about it. I'm sure she must really regret it now."
"Lots of students and professors have seen this. It's a very risky thing to do when you are studying at one of the top universities in the country." [News Locale]

People, we shouldn't wonder whether this kind of thing will hurt her academic career. We should be celebrating the fact that she had the guts to go topless in a magazine that only her fellow academics would read. To be able to hold your head up and not care what these people think after a stunt like this is a very valuable life goal...

Photos via Hotties in the News.

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Gisele Bundchen Finds Another Excuse To Take Off Her Clothes

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 16:32:00 GMT

Thank God there's something else to talk about today.

These were for the 30th Anniversary issue of American Photo, whatever the Christ that is. Nobody cares about you American Photo, just give us your half-naked snaps of Gisele and move along...

Seriously, though, we do dig Gisele on a non-superficial level as well, and our speculation on her personality is confirmed by the photographer:

His favorite Gisele? "It would be the chill Gisele, which is just us hanging out on vacation, with her acting silly and laughing in front of the camera," Nino Muñoz says. "Although sexy Gisele in six-inch pumps isn't bad, either."

The above totally pointless photos via American Photo, of course.

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Olga Kurylenko: "My Treasure Trove of Topless Photos Don't Count As Porn"

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 16:52:00 GMT

It used to be "become a Bond girl, end up doing softcore Hollywood porn later." Now, it seems getting that in order to get the attentions of 007's producers, you have to do a bunch of nude scenes or topless spreads in order to land the role of one the spy's femme fatales...

Since we're as excited as can be for Quantum of Solace, the followup to Casino Royale, we will find every excuse imaginable to talk about it. Even better when that excuse involves posting a series of nude photos and other career highlights from our second favorite* new Bond babe.

Speaking of these photos to IMDB News, Kurylenko says:

"There are no actresses who haven't appeared naked. These things are not unusual.
"All the magazine pictures are artistic. I didn't do any pornography. It was all done in silhouette. It was advertising stuff.
"It's something I have done but it's not what I enjoy doing. It was part of the job. I haven't been modelling for a few years now. I don't have to. Movies are my passion.
"I always have respect towards people and I do everything with love and respect. There are much graver things in the world to worry about."

No actresses who haven't appeared naked? In that case, Olga, please fill us in on where we might find Scarlett Johansson, Grace Kelly, and full frontal Kerry Washington photos...

Quotes via IMDB.

*We still have our hearts set on Gemma Arterton, sorry.

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While You Were Sleeping: The Madonna Marriage Meltdown

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 14:47:00 GMT

If you're a passenger on a plane that's being hijacked, you may do well to follow the example set by these passengers.

The sleazy Republican Governor of Nevada has been slapped with a lawsuit by the cocktail waitress who suffered his "advances" two years ago. Meanwhile, a right-wing politician in Austria, killed in a car accident last weekend, is believed to have been driving drunk at the time.

Are you interested in seeing Naomi Cambell naked?

Then click here. We've had enough of her, clothed or naked, with all the violent rampages and the rest of her insanity.

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We're sad to see Terrence Howard had to quit Iron Man 2 over a salary dispute, but at least he was replaced by someone equally excellent (Don Cheadle.)

MTV and the UK Sun are reporting:

Just months after Madonna denied that her marriage was in trouble, a British tabloid is reporting that she and husband Guy Ritchie are set to announce their split, "imminently."
The Sun reported on Wednesday (October 15) that a "highly placed source" confirmed that Madonna, 50, and Ritchie, 40, "just couldn't live together any more" and could "no longer bear to live with the pretence" of being a happily married couple. [MTV]

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Leryn Franco Makes Up For Missing Out On The Whole "Nude Olympians Craze"

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 19:45:00 GMT

Just a few weeks ago, the nation (and, in particular, this blog) jumped for joy when Olympians from Amanda Beard to Michael Phelps were the subject of nude (or at least very revealing) photos. Literally, the day after the closing ceremonies, interest in these photos dried up... and so, apparently, did the pipeline that flooded us with so many treasures.

But javelin thrower Leryn Franco is not content to fade into hotness obscurity just yet, especially since she missed out on the nudie wave back in the day...

Franco, who hails from the sensational nation of Paraguay and finished second-to-last in Beijing, at least has modeling to fall back onto: the below photos are from an undetermined fashion show at an undetermined location. (Who is the idiot who posted these online without saying where they came from?)

Anyway, enjoy... although we can't provide any more info or an explanation for the bizarre nature of at least one of these pics...

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