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The 50 Sexiest Movies of All Time: 40-31

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 21:49:00 GMT

40. American Beauty. American Beauty-- this was a big movie, right? We seem to recall some sort of Academy Award being handed out? Yes, many people would like to forget this was so critically, commercially, and awarded-ly lauded in the late 1990s... for good reason. This Kevin Spacey-led comic melodrama did not age well. At all. But parts of the movie escape unscathed: was the incredible art direction, cinematography, and Chris Cooper's terrifying performance as a self-hating homosexual and the psycho next door. His kiss with Kevin Spacey is still a delight to watch, even with the shock worn off after nine years.

39. Law of Desire. From AfterElton: "This was the first Almodovar film to really make a huge international splash, and while reviews were mostly good, it's only now, 20 years later, that the plea at its heart, for everyone to be themselves and specifically against living a sexually closeted existence, stands out most clearly. It's also notable for a very sexually explicit performance by Banderas, which contrasts sharply with his sexless characterization of Tom Hanks' lover in Philadelphia, an American film released six years later."

38. 10. There are so many romantic and sexy moments in Blake Edwards' classic rom-com "10" that every scene is sure to be somebody's favorite. Ours? Nope, not the slow-mo beach run to make you forget Ursula Andress. Nope, not the first sex scene. We prefer this one (click here for the YouTube video clip.) Who knew Dudley Moore was such a major playa?

37. Tristan + Isolde. This summary, via Kids In Mind, makes this PG-13 movie sound a lot racier than it really is: "A young woman takes off her clothes off... giving body heat to an unconscious and wounded young man; another woman does the same, they hold him from either side and press against his body (bare backs, shoulders and legs are visible)." Did we mention James Franco and Rufus Sewell are in it? We might just find ourselves going gay if those two ever did a sequel to Brokeback Mountain.

36. From Here To Eternity. There was a time when this was risque, so since risque romanticisim = sexy, we'll go with this for #36. A great, surprising, and deeply moving film that landed Frank Sinatra a well-deserved Oscar and jump-started his failing career. Ol' Blue Eyes? Now that's sexy...

35. Don Juan DeMarco. See above photo of Johnny Depp for an explanation as to why this film, about the fictional lover Don Juan's re-emergence into, first, a psychiatrist's office and later, into his love life.

34. Rear Window. Sometimes, it only takes one scene to make a movie incredibly sexy overall-- in this case, one kiss. The kiss carries itself throughout Alfred Hitchock's Rear Window's two hours of suspense, murder, and paranoia. Not to be missed, under any circumstances.

33. Dirty Dancing. There was a time when "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" was considered a great tune, when Jennifer Grey was sexy and had yet to have a career-ending nose job, and Patrick Swayze was the biggest movie star in the world... if only for a couple of weeks. Relive those moments with this sequence, the one we all remember.

32. My Own Private Idaho. Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix play gay prostitutes in Gus Van Sandt's surreal (to put it politely) adaptation of Henry IV, Part 1. According to Wikipedia Van Sandt "decided to send the script to the agents of Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix, figuring that their agents would reject the script. However, Reeves' agent was amenable to the project, but Phoenix's agent wouldn't even show the screenplay to the young actor. Not to be deterred, Van Sant got the idea for Reeves to personally deliver the film's treatment to Phoenix at his home in Florida. Reeves did so over the Christmas holidays, riding his 1974 Norton Commando motorcycle from his family home in Canada to the Phoenix family ranch in Micanopy, Florida, outside Gainesville." Check out our favorite scene:

31. The Blue Angel. With this film, Marlene Dietrich a) launched herself to international fame and b) more importantly, served as the basis for the best scene in Blazing Saddles. Check out her then-controversial song-and-dance number from the oldest film on our list:

Related:

The 50 Sexiest Movies of All-Time: 50-41

Megan Fox Is So Hot Right Now, GQ Can Just Recycle Her Photos Every Month

The Saddest And Most Hopeful Story in Rock & Roll

The 50 Sexiest Movies of All-Time: 50-41

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 18:41:00 GMT

This summer, we gave you the 50 Sexiest Albums of All-Time in an effort to help the music industry's sluggish sales numbers. Now, we present an even sexier compendium-- complete with a few NSFW scenes to warm up your November afternoon-- as well as background and trivia and everything else that we can think of to convince you to rent these the next time you want to seduce somebody...

The 50 Sexiest Movies of All Time: 50-41

50. The Seven Year Itch. Backstory: What more do you need than this, Marilyn Monroe's famous subway grate encounter? Trivia: It has the Joe DiMaggio Seal of Disapproval-- the scene was so sexy, her husband (that guy from the Mrs. Robinson song) fled and never came back. Irnoically, the skirt blowing up? Deleted from the movie itself. Luckily, the rest of the film is brimming with unconsummated sexuality.

49. Casablanca. Backstory: Not even the sexiest movie from 1943, this earns its place here for the most romantic scene in movie history, in our opinion. Watching Bogie decide to do the right thing and send the love of his life off on a plane with her husband is so damn manly of him that, at the mere reminder of this moment, our gonads hang in shame. Trivia: The original ending came very closed to being changed thank to the Allied invasion of Casablanca just before the film was to be released.

48. Cruel Intentions. Backstory: Is it wrong to choose this over Les Liaisons Dangereuses, its predecessor? No, for while Liaisons did have a notable sex scene featuring the breasts of Uma Thurman, it also featured the tongue of John Malkovich and didn't really capture our (sexual) interest throughout. Oddly enough, the sinister and more overt incestuous teasing Sarah Michelle Gellar puts Ryan Phillipe through kept us glued to this otherwise merely grade-B adaptation of the famed French novel. Trivia: The sequel was originally planned as a TV series called Manchester Prep; here's how bad it was: when Fox decided it was too risque for their radical right-wing mindsets, the producers simply slapped the first three episodes together, added a nude scene, and released it straight to video. Yep, it's that good... [NSFW naughtiness starting after the 40-second mark.]

47. Midnight Cowboy. Backstory: If you're over the age of 12, you've hopefully done your civic duty and watched the only (then-)rated X movie to win Best Picture. If you haven't, stop reading and add it to your queue at once. If you've already seen it, then you know the hilarious sex scenes and sexual tension between Jon Voight and Dustin Hoffman are only two of the reasons it helped to usher in a new dawn of gritty Hollywood filmmaking. Trivia: The film's famous party scene includes actual Warhol Superstars and the script was written by the great blacklisted writer Waldo Salt.

46. Flashdance. Backstory: While dancing in a lousy Pittsburgh bar and dreaming of studying at a nearby conservatory, Jennifer Beals meets the owner of a steel mill, where she also works. The two gradually fall in love... and yeah, you read Cinderella? You're tired of bad 80s music? Then you don't need this film. What you do need is this clip below... Trivia: The script was co-written by Joe Eszterhas, who went on to pen Showgirls and Basic Instinct.

45. Body Heat. Backstory: Hey, remember when Kathleen Turner used to be hot? We don't either-- although many people swear by the steamy Southern tale of murder, betrayal, and other cliched Hollywood plot twists. Trivia: Who cares about trivia? Watch this scene of unrestrained animal lust, which almost makes you forget it involves William Hurt and Kathleen Turner. [NSFW almost immediately.]

44. No Way Out. Backstory: Sean Young's character is so magnificiently attractive, not only does Kevin Costner risk life and life to sleep with her, but Gene Hackman ends up doing a terrible thing in rage because of her. (We won't say what it is, but here's a hint: they give it away on the back cover of the DVD, those idiots.) Trivia: This is the only film on this list that includes a sex scene in a movie vehicle. Also, nobody ever looked as good as Sean Young (!) does in that early party scene. Never ever. [NSFW almost immediately.]

43. Goldfinger. Backstory: It's fucking James Bond, yo, so there's your backstory. This is the one with Pussy Galore and all her hot young pilots, Shirley Eaton wearing only gold body paint, plus Sean Connery at his peak. Trivia: The Aston Martin spy car was introduced in this film and was such a successful inclusion it insured many films had donated product placements from them on.

42. Bound. Backstory: Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon make sex movie, yas. Trivia: This movie had a major cult following in the days before internet porn took off, and probably still does to this day. At one time, the phenomenon reached such a fever pitch, the following clip topped several Best Sex Scene Polls. The rest of the movie is pretty randy, too. [NSFW starting around the 4-minute mark.]

41. Bull Durham. Backstory: Who knew North Carolinans had such hot sex and great minor league sports teams? Trivia: The sex was so spectacular, Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon decided to keep it going in real life... and they still do, or so we're told. Also, if you look closely, the note that Costner sends over to Sarandon doesn't say “I want to make love to you.” It says, “Wanna fuck this time?” And one more: Kurt Russell, who played minor league ball at one time, was originally set to star. [NSFW starts after a few minutes, then continues through two consecutive sex scenes.]

To be continued... your suggestions, as always, are welcome in the comments section.

Top 5 Sex Scenes From TV Shows

Top 5 Lesbian Sex Scenes

Lizzy Caplan And Her HBO Porn Show Still Terrible, Terribly Hot

Hot Teacher Caught After Three-Year Affair With Female Student

The 50 Sexiest Albums You Must Own (10-6)

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 20:36:00 GMT

We're wrapping up our list with a two-part Top Ten, featuring, obviously, the Legendary Sam Cooke.

We'll have a list of your favorties tomorrow, along with the Final Five... for now, here are another five sexy albums you must keep in the ol' disc changer...

[If you missed anything, start here, with the Top 20.]

10. Hotel Child – The Flying Neutrinos

This album by then-unknown street performers hit #4 on Amazon during the late nineties swing revival. Only problem was, the album came out at the end of that fad... and has been difficult to find since. Much has been made of the cover, which features lead singer Ingrid Lucia taking a bubble bath. Try not to stare as you listen to lines like “I want to make violent love/to you by the moon above...” or anything from the John Phillips tune "Love Is Coming Back."

9. The White Album – The Beatles

Remember when your parents would play this and then switch it off right when it got to the sounds of John Lennon (and Yoko Ono?) having sex at the end of “Revolution 1”? What about “Why Don't We Do It In The Road”? Find these cuts, plus the hilariously-non-sexy “Back in the USSR,” sweet “Dear Prudence,” good ol' “Sexy Sadie,” and, um, “Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey.” (Yes, that's a real song.)

8. Kristofferson – Kris Kristofferson

The sexiest man in country music rounded up all the stray songs he wrote for Janis and Jerry Lee and Johnny and piled them up here. “For The Good Times,” “Me and Bobby McGee” (actually about his friend's female secretary), and so on until you bow down and grovel. “Help Me Make It Through the Night?” With pleasure.

7. Portrait of A Legend – Sam Cooke

The sexiest singer of all-time (take that, Frank) on the best collection of his (brief) life's work. You forgot how many great pop songs were his until you're dancing with your baby to them...

6. To Bring You My Love – PJ Harvey

You could make the case for Rid of Me and Is This Desire?, which are almost as sexy. But for newcomers, the way PJ growls out the opening cut on her 1995 tour-de-fucking-force is the best example of why yet another androgynous dark-haired solo artist has beguiled millions of people for over 15 years. This photo of Polly Jean don't hurt either.

Previously:

The Top 20-11, The Top 21-30, The Top 31-40, The Top 41-50 Sexiest Albums You Must Own.

The 50 Sexiest Albums You Must Own (20-11)

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 19:02:00 GMT

We're into the Top 20 now, which had damn well better include the Godfather of Soul Sex all right!

Anyway, as always, we welcome your suggestions...

To catch yourself up, check out 21-30, 31-40, and 41-50.

20. Hard Again – Muddy Waters

Yard work + shirtless + "Mannish Boy" blasting out of the garage stereo = guaranteed action.

19. A Melody of Certain Damaged Lemons – Blonde Redhead

Despite being an arguably more enticing singer, Kazu Makino has never achieved the same level of sex symbolism as a Liz Phair or a Jenny Lewis, but maybe that's because she's stayed in the indie underground... and, well, hasn't dated Jake Gyllenhaall. But anyone who has ever seen Blonde Redhead in concert can tell you they usually find themselves lost in a trance for the entire show, especially when Kazu and the guys play this album's best cut, “In Particular.”

18. White Blood Cells – The White Stripes

Guys across the world are in love with Meg White's large breasts, major cuteness, and apparent total shyness, while girls appreciate guys who sigh in agreement with “I'm Finding It Harder to Be A Gentleman,” and everyone loves the Lego video.

17. The Velvet Underground & Nico – The Velvet Underground

The greatest and most influential band to never make the big time, they arguably invented noise rock, punk, hard rock, drug songs, and having Warhol's Factory Girls whipped on stage. S&M anthems like “Venus in Furs,” even near-monotone vocals on songs like “Femme Fatale” are worth the price of this album-- hell, the 5-CD box set-- alone. By the way, the cover of that box (as well as the first album) features the famous peel-able banana designed by Andy Warhol. It reveals, ahem, a very pink phallic symbol underneath...

16. My Funny Valentine – Chet Baker

This one's all about the title track, a #1 hit in 1952 that made the jazz trumpeter famous the world over. There are 13 other love songs on this disc, but this is the only one you'll put on repeat.

15. Baduizm - Eryka Badu

Metro Active's review noted "Badu's delicately trilling, snaky voice," which is a pretty apt description for why this smash debut album still plays on our stereo. That and our gay neighbor in Louisiana told us it almost turned him straight-- now that's sexy.

14. Horses – Patti Smith

An odd choice, we'll admit, but if any single album can make a lanky, androgynous woman with a thick Yankee accent dressed in men's clothes sexy, it deserves a place among the essentials. The opening line alone has been known to turn those not previously disposed to the ladies into fervent fans. Of course, we won't ruin it for you if you don't know it...

13. Best of – B.B. King

Yep, “The Thrill is Gone” can be sexy in the right context-- more importantly, B.B. is sexy in any context.

12. Loveless – My Bloody Valentine

Kevin Shields broke new ground with this album in 1991, mixing the sensuous, ethereal vocals at the same level as the feedback-laden guitars, although few have tried to copy the expensive and grueling process. It's a shame, because it makes for great listening, especially when you skip to track 3, crank up the lava lamp, and take it real slow, like you would in space.

11. Live At the Apollo – James Brown

While we wouldn't exactly consider a near riot and frantic 40-second songs your best choice for mood music, there is no doubting the incredible sexual energy on this legendary live album. With each scream, with each “Please, Please, Please,” you can actually hear Brown make incredible love to each audience member-- who respond with equally ecstatic howls, moans, and shrieks. This is one that can never be topped because it was done perfectly.

Previously:

The 50 Sexiest Albums You Must Own (31-20)

The 50 Sexiest Albums You Must Own (30-21)

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 19:33:00 GMT

Our list continues with part three, #30 to #21, featuring the usual videos and full song clips. Today, Rilo Kiley, picture above, are among the chosen few...

As always, we're taking suggestions...

The Sexiest Albums You Must Own (40-31)

The Sexiest Albums You Must Own (50-41)

30. The Genius of Ray Charles

Get it on vinyl. If ever someone spends the night that you want to stick around, play it for them in the morning. Works every time. (To achieve the opposite effect: Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" has worked for us.)

Don't Let The Sun Catch You Crying (Remastered Version) [Remastered Version]

29. Take Offs And Landings - Rilo Kiley

Bested by their latest release, which has sold infinitely more copies, this is nonetheless the sexiest album in their discography thanks to how Jenny Lewis' voice sounds here. (We'll give a hint: it sounds hot.) The rock goddess has never been more appetizing than on cuts like “Science vs. Romance,” where she subs in the word "sex" in place of "science."

28. Astral Weeks – Van Morrison

The title track is the most poetic song in rock, so majestic that critic Lester Bangs wrote rock's most memorable essay about it. Check out the song about a guy named “Madame George,” just for the hell of it. Choice lyric: “Would you find me/and would you kiss-a my eyes/and lay me down/in silence, easy/to be born again?”

Read the Lester Bangs essay, then buy this album

27. Eighteen Greatest Hits – Smokey Robinson & The Miracles

Sarah Vowell once wrote that seeing Smokey Robinson in concert was a major turn on. You'll find anything and everything here, straight from the man who wrote “My Girl” and almost half of all the great Motown tunes.

26. In The Wee Small Hours of the Morning – Frank Sinatra

Never has a megastar come off as more vulnerable without being a shaved-head Britney Spears. Are you a ladies man and want to get in touch with your real, much more sensitive side? Get it.

25. Grace – Jeff Buckley

A guy even a straight dude could fall in love with, Jeff Buckley released only one album in his lifetime-- and damn it if it wasn't all that he needed to remain immortal. Grace features heartbreakers like Nina Simone's “Lilac Wine” and Leonard Cohen's “Hallelujah” (the definitive version), but it's an original song, written en route to its recording, that keeps us coming back: the epic slow jam “Lover, You Should've Come Over.” “Because it's not too late.”

Jeff Buckley performs in Chicago, not long before his tragic death at the age of 30.

24. Orange – The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion

Another one of their albums features the line “baby, baby, you sure like to fuck!” shouted repeatedly, but somehow this one turns us on more. There's something about that cocksure swagger, rollercoaster drumming, and dirty guitar work that landed this on our “Get Motivated” iTunes playlist.

23. Let's Dance – David Bowie

This was the most successful, surprising, and diehard-confounding album of the glam pioneer's career. Featuring a slew of great 80's dance night staples (including, of course, “Let's Dance”), the album boasts many of Bowie's sexiest vocals, particularly on “Modern Love” and the Iggy Pop collaboration “China Girl,” which contain lyrics yelled, growled, and moaned. If you're still reading this list and are bored by the idea of that or anything else you've read so far, we hear the monasteries and nunneries are hiring...

22. Small Change – Tom Waits

Possibly the best line-by-line set of lyrics in human history outside of the recordings of Bob Dylan. And the sexy? We only need to mention one thing: the cover features Waits in a stripper's dressing room... with the stripper, played by none other than the future Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.

Pasties And A G-String (At The Two O'Clock Club) (LP Version) [LP Version]

21. Songs in the Key of Life – Stevie Wonder

If your love is in need of love today, you can't go wrong with this one from the Young Master. There are so many classics on these two CDs, you'll swear you put on his Greatest Hits album.

We're more than halfway-- tomorrow will feature the 20-11 portion of our list... until then, feel free to post suggestions in the comments section...

Previously:

The Sexiest Albums You Must Own (40-31)

The Sexiest Albums You Must Own (50-41)

The 50 Sexiest Albums You Must Own (40-31)

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 19:50:00 GMT

Our list continues (see previousy: Part One: The Top 50-41)

Today, some jazz, a country legend, obviously Madonna, and some unusual choices, we'll admit...

40. A Love Supreme - John Coltrane

Yes, we know it's about God (the supreme love, that is.) Luckily, there are only three spoken words on the entire album-- the rest is just great sweeping background music. You could also try just about any Coltrane album, including Blue Trane.

39. On Fire - Galaxie 500

They didn't know how to play, sing, or write songs. Maybe that's why they were so much better than anybody in the summer of '89. Something about Dean Wareham's eyes... or maybe his voice, which sounded like it was recorded in an empty stadium... either way, like your married lover, this album gets better and hotter with age. Choice line: “You said/it's time to get your clothes off...”

Leave The Planet

38. I Like To Score – Moby

The throbbing dance beat of his earliest hits gets us, well, throbbing. The title itself also seems appropriate for this list.

Go [LP Version] [LP Version]

37. American Recordings (Vol. 1) - Johnny Cash

Because he covers Glenn Danzig, for Christ's sake. If acoustic guitars and a deep, authoritative voice singing about a “Tennessee Stud” doesn't turn you on, check to be sure you're not an asexual organism.

Johnny on Later with Jools Holland

36. The Days of Wine & Roses – The Dream Syndicate

Ex-leader Steve Wynn is doing a tour this summer that will feature every track of this flawless guitar assault on the New Wave era. Choice line: “When you smile/I don't know what to do/because I could lose everything in a minute or two.” Hehe... minuteman.

When You Smile

35. Escondida – Jolie Holland

Featuring two of the prettiest and most heartbreaking songs ever recorded, it's no wonder Tom Waits came out of hiding four years ago to trumpet this album's release. Best to be gentle when someone new puts this on-- trust us, we know from experience.

Darlin Ukelele

34. Tepid Peppermint Wonderland - The Brian Jonestown Massacre

A few years back, we caught America's greatest live band/train wreck from the back of a club full of New Yorkers. When their set ended, we turned around to exit and realized Patti Smith had been standing behind us the whole time. She looked like she'd just been mindfucked-- her eyes were about to pop out of skull. Patti, under her breath: “Wow.” The kinkiest chicks we've met all swear by this one, so here it is...

One of the famous BJM fight scenes from the award-winning doc "Dig!"

33. Bitches Brew – Miles Davis

It's not as romantic as Kind of Blue or even Someday My Prince Will Come, but if you're into kinky sex, voodoo, or anything out of that Madonna movie “Body of Evidence,” like burning each other or whatever you'd do on a normal Nerve date, you could probably get off to this. Hell, it's essential music anyway.

Pharaoh's Dance

32. Erotica – Madonna

It's entirely possible that somebody out there has personally wanked it to each one of these songs. And for that matter, all of Madonna's repertoire.

31. Different Class – Pulp

“I've been sleeping with your wife for the past sixteen weeks, smoking your cigarettes, drinking your brandy, messing up the bed you chose together. And in all that time I just wanted you to come home unexpectedly one afternoon and catch us... at it... in the front room!” “...Didn't get much rest at first, the headboard banging in the night...” “When you raise your pencil skirt like a veil before my eyes, like the look upon his face as he's zipping up his fly.” “How the hell did you get here. Semi-naked in somebody else's room. I'd give my whole life to see it... just you... in your underwear.” But all spoke-sung in a very creepy way... this 1995 must-have would've been #1 if we hadn't been so weirded out...

The legendary career-making performance of "Common People" at Glastonbury 1995. Ironically, this song features none of the lyrics we've quoted above, a testament to how many sex(y) songs there are on this record.

To be continued tomorrow, with The Top 30-21 albums...

Previously:

The 50 Sexiest Albums You Must Own (50-41)