Scanner : threesomes

18-Year-Old Boy Arrested in Most Bizarre Sex Tape Bust Yet

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 21:38:00 GMT

A teenage boy, already a defiant smartass to the media that's hounding him outside his home and high school, has been charged with sexual exploitation in a case that's sure to garner national attention.

But it was an individual who wasn't even a participant in the act that has caused the biggest scandal the state of Tennessee has seen in years...

Deandra Woodall is accused of videotaping teenagers, including himself, engaged in a threesome, without the female victim's permission. The female, by the way, is 15-years-old. Woodall allegedly took the camera phone he recorded the menage a trois with to school and began showing it around class, boasting about his work as if it was his own performance on screen. Of course, word immediately traveled to the assistant principal, who tore him a new a-hole... before confiscating the phone.

Here's where it gets all scandalous in a hurry: the assistant principal himself committed a far worse crime than any so far in our story. First, he downloaded the copy to his work computer and deleted the original file. Next, he began showing other random people the hot sex going on in the grainy video, probably yukking it up at the poor kids' expense. And finally, and here's what makes this so incredible, he never notified the police, higher ups, or the parents of any of the children involved. He was only discovered after rumors continued to swirl.

Now Terence Bobo faces charges of tampering with evidence and sexual exploitation of a minor, while the boy is charged with the latter. His reaction to reporters flinging desperate questions about his fate: "I like your hair, just take that down on your notepad."

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J McC is a Freak

Colleen Kane — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 20:08:00 GMT

So according to Jenny McCarthy's ex-husband, John Asher, woman is a freak in the sack "and beyond." *

Fortunately, from what he said, it wasn't that she made any of those goofy cross-eyed faces like she did on Singled Out...

Asher reminisced about his ex's fondness for threesomes and the time she invited three additional "naughty young girls" into their bedroom.

"She'd be the subject of most of the attention, but always kept me in the mix. There are some things that she's done where I've thought, 'No other woman will ever do that.' It's a helluva show."

Just days ago, Starpulse quoted Jenny on her beau Jim Carrey: "We are madly in love with each other, and the sex is still awesome... He's a wonderful man." Now there's a freaky pairing we don't really want to imagine.

* We have a friend (Scanner Brian) who sent us this story to try to get us to share our own "freak in the sack" tales. Nice try, but thanks for the lead.

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Top 5 Threesome Sex Scenes

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 21:22:00 GMT

We won't bore you with stories of our orgy and menage a trois experiences... because that's not why you're going to click on this post, right?

Without ado, the Five Best Sex Scenes That We Were Able To Find On The Internet And Could Embed Here... Part One. Suggestions, as always, for the next wave, in the comments section...

5. Rampage: The Hillside Strangler Murders. With a whopping 3.9-out-of-ten ranking on IMDB, you would be forgiven for not having heard of this via word-of-mouth. But now that Brittany Snow has been chosen to star in the Gossip Girl spinoff, expect this awful/true story to be repackaged in a useless Director's Cut DVD, complete with this sex scene stretched four milliseconds longer.

4. Factotum. If Marisa Tomei weren't in this scene, it wouldn't even have occurred to us to include it. After all, unless you consider dual finger-bangs "sex," this isn't much of a sex scene. But... again... Marisa Tomei, people...

3. Threesome. For a movie with sexual innuendo in the title, there isn't enough actual sex here. However, this clip does feature Lara Flynn Boyle getting talked "dirty" to over the phone while Stephen Baldwin goes down on her in person-- that counts, right? Oh, and there's an almost hot scene starting about 3:30 in with actual one-on-one sex. (The phone stuff starts at about 5:30.)

2. Wild Things. Jesus H! Is Matt Dillon in every great threesome in Hollywood history? You think he writes them in after signing his contract or will he not even agree to a role unless there's some menage goin' on? For us, the movie never gets finer than the opening scene, where a soap-sudsy Denise Richards stands dripping in Dillon's doorway, but everyone seems to think this is hotter 'n hell, so here goes...

1. American Psycho. "In terms of lyrics craftsmanship... this album hits new peaks of professionalism. Sabrina, why don't you dance a little?" In another director's hands, this would've been too unsettling to be darkly humorous. Is the film over-the-top, obvious, excessively violent and ultimately not the greatest movie? Absolutely. Is this sex scene near-genius? You put that in granite and stamp it on a business card.

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Clothes For Twosomes... Or Threesomes... Or More

Emily Farris — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 20:01:00 GMT

VIA THE MODERN MATERIALIST: At the the Jimmy Eat World show on Monday there was this incredibly annoying couple displaying way too much PDA. I would excuse it if they wearing this Sweet-Heart Sweet-Shirt.

Click below for more clothing suited for two (or more):

Read more...

Top 5 Sex Scenes Starring Angelina Jolie

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 20:29:00 GMT

While compiling last week's Top 5 Sex Scenes From Action Movies, we started to realize 1) Angelina Jolie is in a boatload of action movies, 2) Angelina Jolie is naked in a boatload of action movies and 3) Angelina Jolie is naked in a boatload of movies...

5. The Good Shepherd. Angelina Jolie is the only total stranger we can think of who could somehow keep us turned on after demanding to know if we love her. Angie, please, we'd like you to learn our middle name and take a test on the Baltimore Colts first, okay?

4. Foxfire. This here's more of a slumber party sequence than a sex scene, but you won't be complaining. By the way, this is what every guy, aged 8 to 108, imagines women are doing when there are no boners around.

3. Original Sin. We're pretty sure Antonio Banderas does all these softcore porn flicks to get away from that nut Melanie Griffith, although it's hard to imagine any straight guy turning down a script that includes this scene. [By the way, for some reason the volume on this scene is much higher than our other clips. Sorry about that.]

2. Taking Lives. There are some technical problems with the sound in this vi-- oh, who's paying any attention to the bland dialogue and storyline of this movie anyway? Here are two sex scenes for the price of one. And ladies, that's your favorite up-and-comer Gerard Butler in the buff in scene two, which is actually (apparently) from Lara Croft: Tomb Raider.

1. Gia. It's possible you could get away with a Top 5 Sex Scenes Just From The TV Movie Gia, All Featuring Angelina Jolie list, especially if you include this as two separate sex scenes-- in the first, Angie has sex with a fence; in the second, she continues to nail the fence, while also including Lost's Elizabeth Mitchell in the action. Good Lord, it must be Friday...

You can check out more Jolie-Mitchell action from Gia in this clip.

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Amber Heard Finally Nails Her Breakthrough With This Sex Scene

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 18:06:00 GMT

Maxim cover sensation Amber Heard, who played Seth Rogen's girlfriend in Pineapple Express, is using a raunchy series of graphic nude scenes in the upcoming movie The Informers to break through to the A List...

The Informers, which Bret Easton Ellis and Nicholas Jarecki adapted from Ellis' book of linked short stories, is described on its Wikipedia page as "a chilling, fascinating, and outrageous descent into the abyss beneath L.A.'s gorgeous surfaces." Whatever the hell that means. No one on the internet cares about the film anyway.

They only want to see the sex and boobs, which we are happy to provide, with a caveat: the scenes are completely uncensored, yet they are not available anywhere without some distractions or alterations to the footage. You'll see what we mean:

1) This is a compilation of all her nude shots from the trailer, albeit with an annoying voice over commentary on the film. Mute your computer and enjoy:

Amber Heard Topless Scenes in "The Informers"

2) Here's the Red Band trailer, infinitely more watchable:

The Informers Unrated Trailer

By the way, before you get all excited to see the movie itself, check out its reviews, which include some of the most brutal pieces of writing we've ever seen from film critics.

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For This D-bag, A Breakup Smells Like Ween Spirit

Colleen Kane — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 18:02:00 GMT

You might think that the fellow in this photograph is the sort who, when faced with relationship strife, composes a sonnet or writes in a tear-stained journal. On the contrary, this fellow responded to a late-night breakup by going on a rather hilarious spree of indecent exposure.

Matthew Hill, a 24-year-old Nebraskan, apparently broke up with his lady-friend around 3 a.m., then went wandering about his apartment complex to show neighboring women what they were missing out on.

Hill knocked on one 48-year-old neighbor's door at 3 a.m. asking her to talk, when she noticed his penis hanging out of his drawers and sent him on his way. He knocked again three hours later, but this time she wisely didn't answer the door.

Just before his first visit to the previously mentioned neighbor, Hill had knocked on the door of a 62-year old woman and suggested a threesome. Later at 8 a.m. he yelled at another 40-something lady and wagged his ween her way. Hill was arrested, jailed, and faces two counts of indecent exposure.

Thanks for the LOLs, Matthew Hill.

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Image

While You Were Sleeping: The Naked Flash Mob Protest

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Here's a program we can get behind: putting the sex back in sex ed.

Kids say the darndest things to Obama. The best one is the kid who says Obama gets to run around like "a maniac" in the Oval Office.

Damn, this Verne Troyer dude has a buttload of sex. Check out the latest story on his escapades:

Troyer, along with one of his randy mates, were at porn baron Hugh Hefner’s Hollywood Playboy mansion in 2005 when he took part in the all-night five-in-a-bed romp with the three gorgeous girls. [He] told News of the World: “I love the mansion and have had some of the best nights of my life behind its walls. I’ve been so many times and it never loses its appeal—but why would it? ...I didn’t just pleasure one Playboy Bunny, I pleasured three. And it doesn’t get much better than that. I watched while they touched each other, then me and my friend joined in. I know exactly how to make a woman feel like a woman. I know the spot, and I’ve got plenty of inches where it matters. I know what women want and it’s me.”

Maybe so, but his vindictive ex says those "inches" are a stretch.

Watch out, guys. In case you didn't know, demanding your wife get freaky with another woman can spell the beginning of the end for your relationship.

Devo is headlining the 2009 SXSW.

Will Bush pardon Scooter Libby and Ted Stevens today? By the way, don't forget that, amidst all this hoopla, today is George W. Bush's last day in the White House, woo hoo!

There was a flash mob protest over the weekend at London's Heathrow airport. If anyone has photographic evidence of the multiple nude incidents, please send them to scanner@nerve.com.

And Terry Gilliam is putting the finishing touches on the final Heath Ledger movie, a job he finds incredibly difficult to push through.

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24 Things Guys Do That Keep Them From Getting Laid

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 14:19:00 GMT

#21: see above tan.

Megan, who is guest blogging on Jezebel these days, has been stirring up the comment section's hornet nest over there, starting with her post "Men and Sex: A Guy's Guide to Getting It On." The list is almost totally spot-on... although we always have to wonder where girls find these guys... and why there weren't red flags before the guys made these glaring faux pas...

Don't pre-emptively tell me you have a small penis.
Don't drop the n-bomb during a discussion on the walk back to your place.
Don't ever say to me, "Your breasts don't look like the ones in my magazines."
Don't call it "my junk" or any pet names when asking me to touch it.
In fact, don't ask me to touch it. I know you want me to touch it. I will do so when and if I want to. If we are in a public place, I don't want to.
Don't text me on a Tuesday night after midnight "I could totally eat ur puss now if u r interwssetted." I'm not.
Don't lick my face. I get flashbacks from Silence of the Lambs.
If we are friends on a social networking site, I strongly recommend not joining groups that I can see that identify you as someone looking for anonymous NSA hook-ups. There aren't thick enough condoms in the world for me to dip my toe into that pool.
Don't tell me you and your wife have "an arrangement." Unless you can provide a signed, notarized affidavit to that effect, I don't believe you and if you can, see the previous answer.
Don't ask me if my friend might be interested in a threesome.
I don't care if you and your friend are interested in a threesome.
Telling me how hard you are going to fuck me is only hot when we are a) naked and b) on the verge of fucking. In a well-lit bar in front of 10 of our colleagues at a work event, it's presumptuous and gross.
Don't keep offering to buy me more alcohol to work the odds when I've indicated a desire to leave. The odds are that I will drink your damn alcohol and still not want to have sex with you.
Don't try to guilt me into something. You are not my mother, and you don't have her skills.
Don't offer to Saran Wrap my genitals to eat me out because you are scared of disease. You should be. You probably have one, but we both know it's not from eating a lot of pussy.
Don't ask if it's okay to fuck me up the ass because you don't have condoms and are "scared" of getting me pregnant.
Don't hit on my friend(s) first. Yeah, I saw that.
Don't "neg" me. That works on insecure little 20-somethings that think they have something to prove. Me it just annoys and you are not remotely hot/smart/rich/powerful enough to intimidate me into thinking I want you to have sex with me.
Don't use a stupid euphemism for fucking. If The Bloodhound Gang used it in a song, it should not be called that if you're trying to actually get laid.
Never, ever utter the word or attempt to motorboat.

The post caused an immediate sensation that even woke up the cultural latecomers at the New York Times. Yesterday, Megan posted a followup that defended her choices:

It also inspired a response from The Times' Sathnam Sanghera, who said that "modern man is an impossible position when it comes to seduction." Um, actually, that's sort of the point. Seduction, is after all, by definition the act of convincing a woman to do something she doesn't want to do.

We thought, in a show of solidary with Megan and to add a voice to the communication meltdown that's threatening our very civilization, that we should round it out at a solid two dozen...

21. See above tan. If you look like that, go back to Square One and regroup.

22. Quit while you're ahead. If she's going for you, take it easy, settle in and enjoy the evening. Don't over do it.

23. Don't discuss the bill for more than two seconds. As Megan puts it, some people want to pay, some want to be paid for. With that in mind, feel her out on the check, then accept whatever vibe she's giving off.

24. Avoid creating controversy just to keep things interesting. Bringing up politics for the sake of keeping the conversation going ties back to 22.

Via Jezebel.

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Harvard Student Publishes Porn Mag... Featuring Only Himself

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 16:40:00 GMT

Harvard student Matthew Dipasquale wants "the world to know that [he loves] sex," that his personal philosophy is "go big or go home" (see after the jump for whether or not this is exactly true), and that he "sometimes" gets hit on "a lot."

Oh, and that he has a penis...

Dipasquale publishes Diamond, a porno mag that was supposed to feature full frontal nudity from men and women; however, the first issues features only a woman named Fiona, who is not even naked, and nudie pics only of Dipasquale. They're all pretty much the same as the photo above.

Better yet, he interviews himself in the most painful manner. His humor makes us wonder why all the girls of the world didn't respond to his semi-anonymous internet requests for models. On women:

Q: Anything prospective applicants should know?
A: I fart under the covers, Dutch-oven style, baby!

Q: What's your ideal relationship?
A: A loving, supportive, genuine, fun, and open relationship with two or three special women. And we would go out and pick up other gorgeous girls together. I might have to move to LA.

This last sentence is so genius, we hope it's satire. If not, please, Matthew, move to LA... they need more vain, self-righteous, unfunny fartknockers in their flawless midst. (Not to knock LA folks, but you gotta admit there are already plenty of those types floating around...)

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Teacher Forced To Resign After Students Find His Gay Profile

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 15:04:00 GMT

An Australian teacher quit his 15-year-long teaching gig after students put two and two together and found him on a gay sex site...

First of all, what is it with these teachers and overhead presentations? We already had the Democrat in Ohio who got busted after showing naked photos during a speech to a classroom full of kids, now this: A 40-year-old man who was giving a presentation via projector, in which he had to log in to an educational website using a username and password. At least in this case, he didn't access any porn-- it was the students who, seeing the username, decided to do a Google search to figure out either a) what the word meant or b) to see if they could snoop...

The profile described the man as a 40 year old cuddly bear looking for fuck buddy / friend for fun.

“I am happily partnered just looking to spice things up a little with a fuck buddy,” says the profile. ”[I] prefer hairy chubby men but don’t get [too] hung up on it. I like men on the larger side older or younger is cool – not into twinks. Love facial hair.”

Ah, don't we all love facial hair? Really, why was this such a big deal? We're guessing either the guy couldn't face going back to work after his (probably snickering) students ratted him out or he was given a letter of resignation to sign and told to clear out his desk. In any case, it's a sad, sad day for everyone when this kind of thing means someone has to lose their job.

After all, can you imagine how different all of this would have gone if the guy was straight or the teacher was a woman?

Read more here and here.

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News Anchor Fired After His Swingers Craigslist Ad Cracks Up The Office

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 18:59:00 GMT

A well-known Las Vegas TV personality was summarily fired Monday after multiple Craigslist ads surfaced showing the dude in the buff, seeking a guy or a girl for he and his girlfriend to go to town on.

But it wasn't the fact that Jeff Gradney had put up a personal (sex) ad that had people so upset... rather, the ad's photographic content saw to that...

While the offending ad has apparently been removed, we found a nearly identical one on the same Craigslist page, this time seeking women instead of men for a menage a trois:

We are a hot, intensely passionate couple looking for a hot woman to play with. You must be comfortable with yourself, playing with a man and a woman, and being watched by the woman while you use his cock! We'd LOVE to make YOU CUM OVER AND OVER!!! If you like having your feet played with that's a definite PLUS! We don't have a specific type so please send pics... and one of feet would be nice! We will respond within 24 hours, can't wait to hear from you!

Here are the photos that got Gradney canned:

It's the bottom right photo, allegedly of Gradney sticking it to the (wo)man, that upset everybody at the local ABC affiliate:

Gradney, who joined the ABC affiliate three years ago, was dismissed Monday, after a disgruntled employee sent management and staffers a Craigslist ad, a source said, that appeared to show the reporter having sex with his girlfriend. The ad read: "hot, intensely passionate couple looking for a cool guy to play with." [Review Journal]

It should be pointed out that we discovered the Craig's List ad without anyone's prompting and that it may not necessarily be the couple, although a photo (which has also been removed) from the ABC website, purportedly of Gradney, seems to match the shirtless gym shot from the above images.

By the way, doesn't this all seem a little silly? So what if the guy put up a teeny, tiny pic of himself, even if he is having sex in the photo? Because he's a news reporter, it's an automatic "no no"? And who's this person who narc'd on him?

See the ad here... until they take it down.

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Swedish Teen Girls Like To Have Sex With Eachother

Ina Maier — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 20:05:00 GMT

Validating the fantasies of boys and men all over the world, a study confirms that teenage Swedish girls have more sex with one another...

The Local reports that "altogether 440 girls and boys aged 17 were questioned for the study" and 6.1 percent of girls "answered that they had had sex with someone of the same gender." And as an added plus, the study found that "more girls than boys had also made their sexual debuts."

Pack your bags and get your plane tickets now, because we think Sweden is about to become one very popular country. Which, now that we think about it, is actually kind of creepy, because, well, the study is about Swedish teen girls. You know, like, underage. As in: not adult.

Ah, well, you know what they say: kids will be kids. And hot Swedes will continue to be hot Swedes.

[via The Local]

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More Sex in Politics, Please

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 18:56:00 GMT

We'd forgotten what wicked entertainment a good political sex scandal is (remember the 90's: Gingrich, Packwood, Bob Dole and his Viagra boners, and... there was one more... what are we missing?) In light of that one last week with that prostitute-turned-two-hit-wonder, we're feeling the cold sweats, the itchy neck, the delerium tremens of a renewed addiction to political porkings. The details are vague, but that's okay, because there are more in the works already to whet your proverbial palettes.

Former NJ Governor and self-outing homosexual James McGreevey and his wife are about to go through the most painful divorce in the TMI age. An ex-aide to the then-Gov. has spoken publicly about his threesomes with the Gov. and his wife, although he says there appeared to be few signs that he was there were for, um, the gentleman's amusement. The couple allegedly called these trysts, one of which began at a local TGI Friday's (that place just got a bump in credibility), "Friday Night Specials."

This has gotta hurt Dina's case a bit-- after all, her grounds for divorce are based on the idea that she couldna wouldna shouldna known.

In other news:

Perhaps to prevent drunken groping on St. Patrick's Day, Virgina is banning nipples.

And no, we're not done with Ashley Alexandra Dupree yet. The girl is the page count gift that keeps on giving for newyorkpost.com: Ashley was previously engaged to an upstanding limo company owner, now exiled to Florida, who can't believe she's gone so far off the deep end as to bang Eliot Spitzer following their breakup. (Man, that's gotta make him feel attractive. We found his phone number, if you want to call him and wish him better luck with his next fiancee.)

Bummer: Rock Star Threeway Ends In Suicide

Bryan Christian — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 12:00:00 GMT

These are the survivors of the threeway -- in case you weren't sure.

Hate to harsh your sex buzz today, but we've got a little piece of advice: turns out letting your wife sleep with your rock'n'roll idol isn't always the best idea -- even if you get to be in on the action.

A devoted Status Quo fan who plunged into depression after his wife left him for guitarist Rick Parfitt has hanged himself at home, it emerged today.
[...]
In 1995, a day after marrying [former wife] Angie, [Nigel Hewitt] introduced his new bride to his hero at a Quo gig in Birmingham, where Rick flirted with her.
But it wasn't until December 2003 that, astonishingly, Mr Hewitt agreed to let Rick sleep with his wife - as long as he could join in.
Afterwards Angie lost interest in her husband and started spending more time with Rick. Eventually they split up.

Is there a lesson to be learned here? We don't know. We always thought threeways with rock stars were, like, a Platonic good. Straight spouse swaps are still cool, though, right? Dean?

GOTV: Who Would You Rather, Candidate Couples Threesome Edition

Emily Farris — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 15:39:00 GMT

Apparently we're in need of some major GOTV (Get Out The Vote) action for our most recent Who Would You Rather, Candidate Couples Edition: Barack and Michelle Obama or Bill and Hillary Clinton?. Maybe you were confused, but we were asking which couple you'd rather have a threesome with. Politics, threesomes, Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, threesomes. All we're missing is some lube and the voice of the people. Vote, damn it.

Who Would You Rather, Candidate Couples Edition: Barack and Michelle Obama or Bill and Hillary Clinton?

Emily Farris — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 18:07:00 GMT

This is exactly what you think it is, kids.

The presidential candidate threesome edition.

So which Democratic campaigning couple would you rather climb into the sack with, Barack and Michelle Obama or Bill and Hillary Clinton?

Reader "Ahem" a Braver, Hornier Driver Than We Are

Bryan Christian — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 21:00:00 GMT

Hey, remember yesterday when we said not to have a threeway in a moving car? Yeah, well, Scanner reader Ahem would like to put an asterisk on that rule.

We were a threesome "couple" (trouple?), and luckily both were as thrilled with the idea as I. My GF in the backseat stripped down and crawled over me and into position while my GF in the passenger seat took up the task of steering. I did what I could to both provide and enjoy pleasure while keeping my foot on the gas and my eyes on the road through two very firm thighs.

You know, we're sort of iffy on whether this is actually a threeway, since it doesn't sound like GF#2 is doing anything but driving... but she must have at least, like, rubbed something once or twice, right? Sure.

So huzzah, Ahern, you lucky lucky lucky son of a bitch. (That's one "lucky" for the driving and one each for the girls.) You're totally our Scanner Reader of the Day™!

Just remind us to have cab money handy if we ever meet in person.

Sex Tip of the Day: Don't Have Your Threesome in a Moving Car

Bryan Christian — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 21:27:00 GMT

Even if you've never done the beast with three backs, chances are there are some things you could probably guess about it in advance. Like, for example: don't do it in a moving car.

Police in Victoria, British Columbia, were alerted by startled motorists to a car on the Trans Canada Highway with a naked man and two naked women having sex.

Calls began coming in Sunday afternoon from witnesses, some of whom trailed the car into the provincial capital city, Victoria Police Constable Kris Rice told the Victoria Times-Colonist.

"There were some reports that they seemed to be wanting attention from other drivers as they engaged in sexual acts," he said.

Reeeeeeeeeally?

[via Fark]

Maggie Gyllenhaal Waits for No AMPTP, And Her Hair Does Look Great

Emily Farris — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:11:00 GMT

One thing we can say for the writers' strike, it's making for some good YouTube content. So, how do we get the writers paid and keep them writing stuff like this?