Scanner : theater

Sloppy Seconds: RNC Chair Tells Critics to "Stuff It"

Emily Farris — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 23:44:00 GMT

We stopped liking theater pretty much after we had that terrible drama mask tattoo covered with something else, but we're intrigued by "In the Next Room (Or the Vibrator Play." [NYT]

Robert De Niro and Van Morrison will be among Jimmy Fallon's first guests when he takes over "Late Night." [Yahoo!]

Lisa Rinna made a point of not hitting the gym before her Playboy shoot. [People]

Just as Richard Simmons offers Jessica Simpson weight loss advice. [Us]

There are very few things that make us miss living in New York, but this Snuggie pub crawl is one of them. [Snuggie Pub Crawl]

Michael Steele, chair of the RNC says he's taking the Republican Party beyond the cutting edge, so far beyond in fact, that it will be "off the hook." If you don't like it? "Stuff it." [CNN]

This Week in Gayness: Don't Ask... Just Don't Ask

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 20:40:00 GMT

Good As You alerted us to Focus on the Family's hilariously awful anti-gay conference in Charlotte. They also put a human face on Jeff Johnston, an "ex-gay" who is obviously not human because it's not possible for anyone to change their sexual orientation.

This guy would be Keith Olbermann's worst person in the world if anyone knew who he was: a gay Minnesota Republican who is against gay rights. Paul Koering will vote against "the Marriage and Family Protection Act, a bill that would make Minnesota's marriage laws gender-neutral, allowing same-sex couples many of the rights currently denied by Minnesota statute."

The roles have been cast and the parents approved of the script. And then a high school principal decided to cancel a student production of Rent due to prostitution and homosexual" content. (There are gay characters, but no prostitution.)

To one Utah Republican, the greatest threat to America is: conspiratorial Chinese economists [no], Osama Bin Laden [no], the gays. 12% of ABC.com readers agree.

A young gay Army vet was killed by another young gay man who appears to have been upset at his own sexuality.

First of all, a guy has to go from being a gay porn star to working at Subway. Worse, he has to endure getting fired from his job at Subway when his previous career choice is discovered. Queers United takes up his case.

While most of the country is still stuck in this ridiculous debate about gay marriage, Massachusetts is trying to implement transgender equality.

And, at last, a straight veteran speaks out in favor of abolishing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" and letting gays serve openly.

Homophobic Phelps Clan to Picket/Pick-On High School Students

Enterprising Teenager Amasses Collection of Solicited Nude Photos

This Week in Gayness: The Homophobic Celebrity Ad You Missed

Sloppy Seconds: The Abortion Donuts?

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 22:51:00 GMT

While he chose to be overseas rather than attend the inauguration, Tom Cruise wants you to know he supports Obama.

Captain Sully was at the inauguration. Afterward, he took his family to a restaurant called the Hudson.

Diane Sawyer, who used to work for Nixon, really enjoyed herself at Obama's inaugural balls last night. This video clearly shows just how much she enjoyed it, if you know what we mean.

Malia and Sasha win... the Jonas Brothers!

Islamists in Malaysia want to ban Rihanna's concert there.

Strollerderby reported on the Krispy Kreme "abortion donuts" (a.k.a. doughnuts) nonsense.

Patti Lupone flipped her shit on a rude patron while singing live in Gypsy on Broadway-- now that's entertainment.

And this moron was the Mayor of a Wisconsin town... that is, until he was busted trying to pickup underage girls on the internet. Ouch.

Related:

While You Were Sleeping: Lindsay Lohan's Crushing News

Obamas Channel Reagans at Inaugural Ball

The Very Best Thing About This Inauguration...

Actor Slits Own Throat On Stage, Or: Today In Seriously Pissed Off Stagehands

Ina Maier — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 21:30:00 GMT

Picture it: And with an exacting flourish, Daniel Hoevels, 30, pulls the knife across his throat. He slumps over, blood pouring onto and across the stage.The audience claps enthusiastically. The curtain drops. The audience continues to clap. Some stand and cheer. Daniel Hoevels, however, remains motionless on the stage...

Slowly, members of the audience and Hoevels fellow castmates began to realize that something was wrong...

In a scene eerily reminiscent of the news that Dexter star Jimmy Smits had stabbed a stunt man with a real knife, Daniel Hoevels narrowly missed severing his carotid artery on stage when a prop knife reserved for his suicide scene was swapped out for a real one during a production of Mary Stuart in Vienna.

So an accident? Or plot of revenge? Both police and The Guardian are unsure:

One officer told Austrian TV news: "The rumours are wild, with some claiming that he was the victim of jealous rival.

"We don't know anything for sure yet; we have to work through everyone."

The knife was reportedly bought at a local shop; one possibility is that the props staff forgot to blunt its blade. "The knife even still had the price tag on it," an investigator said.

All we know is: that's fucking terrifying. But, as they say: the show must go on! And Daniel Hoevels was back on stage the next night, bandage at all. We say: Hoevels, you're a better man that we.

Rodney King Gets Shot in the Face, Lives

Warning: Do Not Marry "Theater People"

"I Broke My Dick And It Made Shatner A Star"

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 14:37:00 GMT

Christopher Plummer told PageSix a sex story so bizarrely hilarious that we were forced to lift our own ban on linking to the New York Post to share it with you...

The movie star has a new autobiography out in which, according to the gossip rag we love to hate, he tells the following story about gearing up to play Henry V on stage in 1956, a role for which William Shatner was the understudy. (Note that just before the excerpt begins, Plummer has just had a wild one night stand with an unnamed woman...)

"I woke up alone the next morning... (pain) all around my groin and lower abdomen... I started to whimper like a whipped dog. 'So this is what syphilis is like?' I thought. 'I suppose I deserve it, but Christ, how the hell was I to know?'
But instead of being struck down by the disease, Plummer had dislodged a kidney stone and had to undergo a medical procedure with a surgical wire to resolve the problem.
He adds, "It began to sink in... Shatner, my understudy, would have to go on... (It) instantly brought back the pain. I screamed for a nurse who jabbed me with more morphine.
"I knew then that the S.O.B. was going to be a 'star.'" [WENN-- see, we avoided the Post]

Ooh, scandalous! It almost would make more sense of Plummer had contracted syphillis because it would explain his insane assertion that William Shatner became famous for a 1950s stage play by Billy Shakes. Everybody knows it was his rockin' version of "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds."

Right?

Related:

What STD? I'm STFree!

Scanner Highs And Lows: Sweden Or Sexism?

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me An Online Match

Sloppy Seconds: In Which Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz Make Out

The Galactially Hot Women of Star Trek (TOS)

No William Shatner Cameo in New Star Trek

You Oughta Know: The Rumors About Dave Coulier and Alanis Morrisette...Totally True

Nicole Pasulka — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 16:32:00 GMT

Dave Coulier-- or Uncle Joey, as most of us know him-- has confirmed that Alanis Morissette's 1995 hit "You Oughta Know" was about him. This is totally weird and as we've always feared and suspected. Just to recap, the lyrics to "You Oughta Know" go something like this:

Is she perverted like me/
Would she go down on you in a theatre/
Does she speak eloquently/
And would she have your baby/
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother/

etc., etc.

These are not things you should be saying to Uncle Joey. But, apparently, Uncle Joey is exactly who Alanis was saying them to.

[Coulier] says he was driving when he first heard the tune.

"I said, 'Wow, this girl is angry.' And then I said, 'Oh man, I think it's Alanis,'" Coulier tells the Calgary Herald. "I listened to the song over and over again, and I said, 'I think I have really hurt this person.'"

Inundated with press calls, he says he tried to get a hold of her — and eventually got through.

"I said, 'Hi. Uh, what do you want me to say?'" he recalls. "And she said, 'You can say whatever you want.'"

Aw. Man. This is totally some dumbass conversation two people who'd just broken up and shit on each other would have over the phone. Especially if those two people were former Canadian Children's TV stars. In case you've forgotten the connection-- Alanis was on You Can't Do That On Television at sort of the same time Coulier hosted Out of Control. Lots of clips and outrage at Video Gum.

[photo via US Weekly]

Someone Stop The Remakes!

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 14:05:00 GMT

So what if "Rain Man" is going to be a West End play and the Sherlock Holmes movie is based on the books? These two movies have casting choices that cry Hollywood desperation of the lowest order...

Yesterday, Variety announced two potential casting choices for the Sherlock Holmes comedy Judd Aptow is working on. Despite the fact that we wish Hollywood would come up with original ideas instead of just recycling everything, this admittedly does have hysterical written all over it. An as-yet-untitled film that

will star Sacha Baron Cohen as master detective Sherlock Holmes and Will Ferrell as Watson, his crime-solving partner.

The comedy is inspired by Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes tales. Though the thrust is different, the Baron Cohen-Ferrell pairing is the second major studio project featuring the supersleuth, as Warner Bros. is prepping the Anthony Peckham-scripted drama "Sherlock Holmes" with director Guy Ritchie.

So a goofy Sherlock Holmes and a violent crime version of Sherlock Holmes on speed? It remains to be seen whether either of these ideas will work.

Meanwhile, Variety also reported

Josh Hartnett will make his West End debut toplining a new stage adaptation of "Rain Man" that begins perfs in London later this summer.
Hartnett plays the Tom Cruise character in the legit version of 1988 pic "Rain Man," with Brit thesp Adam Godley ("The Pillowman") co-starring as the autistic savant played onscreen by Dustin Hoffman.

Wait a minute... "Rain Man?" The one where two guys drive across the country, make pit stops in Vegas, have naked times with Valerie Golino, and featuring a climactic moment that involves a moving train? How the hell are they going to make that a play? What's next, "No Country For Old Men" is going to be a Broadway musical? And why is Josh Hartnett involved?!

Sorry, we're getting a little carried away. We'll live. But Hollywood, please make some movies that are funny and not from endlessly-adapted books and moves that are interesting and thought-provoking and not remakes of award-winning, near-perfect films from after we were born.

Thank you.

Via Variety and Variety.

Warning: Do Not Marry "Theater People"

Nicole Pasulka — Mon, 05 May 2008 17:35:00 GMT

Best Wedding Toast Ever!!!! (Amy's Song) - The most amazing bloopers are here

We cannot, in good conscience, endorse this video and healthy or even clever. What we can do is offer it as proof you made a good decision when you DID NOT marry someone currently, deeply involved in musical theater. For those of you who plan to marry Ado Annie's stand-in at the community theater production of Oklahoma! you can get a sneak peek at your wedding ceremony.

Scanner Highs and Lows: We Like to Play Dress Up

Emily Farris — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 21:57:00 GMT

It's true, we like to put on high heels and feather boas and maybe, just maybe, we'll get dressed up to go to the theater.

HIghs:

We found a reason to maybe love theater again.

We voted. Did you?

Scanner Emily lived out her burlesque fantasy, and realized she does everything better in heels.

Yet another reason for us to run around in high heels.

Lows:

Bobby Tisdale learned he may be a little creepy. You know, in a good way.

LOST's Sawyer really let us down. Really.

These guys scared the hell out of all of us.

We recognized the one-year anniversary of Anna Nicole Smith's death.

[Image via risquebusiness.co.uk]

Scanner : theater

Sloppy Seconds: RNC Chair Tells Critics to "Stuff It"

This Week in Gayness: Don't Ask... Just Don't Ask

This Week in Gayness: How to Tell Your Boyfriend Is Closeted

Homophobic Phelps Clan to Picket/Pick-On High School Students

Enterprising Teenager Amasses Collection of Solicited Nude Photos

This Week in Gayness: The Homophobic Celebrity Ad You Missed

Sloppy Seconds: The Abortion Donuts?

While You Were Sleeping: Lindsay Lohan's Crushing News

Obamas Channel Reagans at Inaugural Ball

The Very Best Thing About This Inauguration...

Actor Slits Own Throat On Stage, Or: Today In Seriously Pissed Off Stagehands

Guys Who Ride Bikes: Your Balls Are In Danger!

Rodney King Gets Shot in the Face, Lives

Warning: Do Not Marry "Theater People"

"I Broke My Dick And It Made Shatner A Star"

What STD? I'm STFree!

Scanner Highs And Lows: Sweden Or Sexism?

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me An Online Match

Sloppy Seconds: In Which Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz Make Out

The Galactially Hot Women of Star Trek (TOS)

No William Shatner Cameo in New Star Trek

You Oughta Know: The Rumors About Dave Coulier and Alanis Morrisette...Totally True

Someone Stop The Remakes!

Warning: Do Not Marry "Theater People"

Scanner Highs and Lows: We Like to Play Dress Up