Scanner : television shows

Sloppy Seconds: Because Breast Milk is Cheaper Than Cow's Milk?

Emily Farris — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 22:33:00 GMT

HBO is developing a new show called "Women's Studies." And we all know what that means. [AfterEllen]

Author JG Ballard, perhaps best known for his book "Empire of the Sun" is dead at 78. [Yahoo!]

If Pulitzer Prize winners are being laid off, is there any hope for us? [Portfolio]

Tennis star Andy Roddick married his girlfriend Brooklyn Decker on Friday. [People]

Though we never had the fear ourselves, we've always understood why certain kids were afraid of the toilet. Now kids everywhere have even more reason to steer clear of the porcelain sucking machine after a three-year-old got her foot stuck in the handle of one (how that happens we don't know) and firefighters had to rescue her. [Telegraph]

Grey's Anatomy star Ellen Pompeo is preggers. [Us]

Food made with breast milk is all the rage these days. Maybe it has to do with the price of cow's milk going up? Anyway, the newest breast milk product is cheese. A recent art exhibit in London featured the product. [APP]

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[Image]

Sex Ed Class Enjoys Naked Man Parade

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 15:05:00 GMT

They'd never get away with this in America: one British high school is making headlines after a teacher showed her sex ed class a parade of naked men and asked them which body parts they wanted to focus on...

The dudes were parading around the school gymnasium for a live camera feed set up by Channel Four's The Sex Education Show, which aims to teach young people healthy attitudes about lovemaking-- you know, not that abstinence garbage. The cameras zoomed in on the body parts in question, examining their remarkable differences and proving no two people are alike, according to this local news story.

Even more incredibly, this was sanctioned by the school and the parents. (In America, they would bring back lynching specifically to deal with these people.) The students thought it helped show boys that not everyone is supermodel thin and there is nothing wrong with the un-Photoshopped body. Hear, hear.

Check out what Assistant head teacher Jo Postlethwaite has to say about the program:

"I think what this has given us is a starting point to revamp sex education. The students really benefited from people from outside the school coming in to talk to them about sex. It can be hard for both students and teachers to go from a teacher being your maths teacher to being your sex education teacher. Maybe it needs to be someone completely different."

We really have nothing more to say about this except "bravo." Meanwhile, Italy is in an uproar over a teacher who discussed genital piercings, bondage, and all that jazz during an off-topic rant about masturbation. This was during a sex ed class being taught to eleven-year-olds, which is apparently not acceptable over there.

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Top 5 "The Price Is Right" Clips

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 20:35:00 GMT

When we were younger, we couldn't stand The Price Is Right. We've always recoiled violently from advertising and even more so from subliminal advertising and product placement. But when it was announced that Bob Barker would retire and, recently, that the Drew Carey version is going off the air next month, we felt it was time to reconsider America's greatest daytime show.

Barker has always struck us as a heroic common man figure-- a guy who put in 35 years at the same job without complaint (after all, it must have become redundant around year four), did 50 years in show business, and even poked fun at himself at the end of his career in Happy Gilmore instead of resting on his laurels.

It turns out, Barker returned to the set yesterday to film a show airing April 6th in which he co-hosts with Carey and promotes his new, for-charity memoir. In honor of this wonderful man and his charming, charmed life, we present our Five Favorite Moments From the Bob Barker Price Is Right...

5) Hordes of Excited Women Molest Bob Barker. You only need to watch the first fifteen-twenty seconds to remember why Bob Barker quit the show due to his age and serious back injuries. At 2:18, watch as Colonel Sanders pulls the same move. And at 8:15, don't miss Ethel's "dream" about Bob.

4) Tidy cats. We'll never look at our roommate's cat the same way.

3) Nipple slip! A Price Is Right model endures a nipple slip on national television. Wait a minute, this show is live?! (Forunately for the squares running CBS, you can't really see anything with the credits going up.)

2) TIE: A Model and a Gentleman and The Third Time's The Charm. Believe it or not, there were countless on-air marriage proposals during Barker's 35-year run and we weren't able to choose between these two. Try not to choke up a bit here...

1) Cheating Emerson student -- is there any other kind? Bob Barker famously walks off the set and say, "I'm going home." It may not be as powerful as the last couple, but this may have been the most-publicized moment in the entire show's history. Barker rarely got upset with anyone, but this time, you believe it...

You can watch the final minutes of his final show here, by the way.

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Audrina Partridge Already Reduced to Nude Advertisements

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 16:10:00 GMT

Audrina Partridge is gearing up to star in a (hilariously awful!) spinoff of (the hilariously awful!) MTV fiction show The Hills.

Partridge and her ridiculous breast implants are apparently worthy of their own sitcom, since Partridge was such an exciting addition to The Hills that the 30-program could hardly cram in all her personal and professional trials and tribulations. Those mainly consisted of sitting around a pool, talking in an annoying voice, and not pretending to get married in Mexico.

So, MTV decided it can't have Partridge promote her upcoming series by going on "talk" shows, because it doesn't want to scare off its last two potential viewers. Instead, Partridge landed a deal with Divine Rights of Denim jeans, which continues the trend of having celebrity spokespeople pose nude to advertise their lame products...

Have we vented enough yet? Good.

By the way, the ads are above and directly below, followed by what you really clicked on this for: the lost nude Audrina Partridge photos.

More of the Divine Rights shoot here.

The Best Job in the World? Carnival Body Painters

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Sloppy Seconds: Lindsay Lohan's Car Crash

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 22:01:00 GMT

An Italian doctor performing brain surgery suffered a heart attack during the operation, but completed it anyway at the risk of his own life.

Amy Poehler's new show is in trouble already.

If the police can't stop a woman's stalker from harassing her on and off for a year-and-a-half, isn't she allowed to take the law into her own hands? Isn't it self-defense?

Lindsay Lohan was involved in her third car accident in as many weeks. Then she goes and says she never "drinks, do[es] drugs, or lie[s.]" We believe that, yep.

It was inevitable: Nevada plans to tax prostitution at $5 a pop.

Robin Williams is in Ohio, recovering from heart surgery.

Sometimes sex tapes are helpful: a guy recorded a prositute giving him a blow job, then used the video as evidence when the hooker and her boyfriend robbed him.

Turns out, those weren't nude photos of Australian right-wing kook Pauline Hanson after all. Oh well, whatever helped her lose the election is fine with us.

Wacko Right-Wing Politician Hit With Nude Photo Scandal

World Naked Bike Ride Takes Over the Southern Hemisphere

PETA Has Really Gone and Done it Now

Rolling Stone Turns to Gossip Girl to Remain Semi-Relevant

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 18:35:00 GMT

Rolling Stone is desperate to stay afloat. This is not news. They reduced the size of their magazines to cut production costs, featured Barack Obama (America's #1 celebrity!) on its cover, and generally tried to appease the again hippies that still subscribe while attracting lame Britney Spears fans that dominate the culture.

This month, Blake Lively, Leighton Meester, and the rest of the Gossip Gals are featured on the cover and are interviewed in the most tiresome fashion ("get the dirt on what it’s like starring as beautiful young people in New York while being beautiful young people in New York.")

The photo shoot, though, is at least the usual skanky jamboree...

Here are our favorite excerpts from the excerpts of the forthcoming article:

“No one’s going to accuse Gossip Girl of being The Wire or Mad Men, but if you roll with the fantasy/absurdity, it’s fun to watch, from the infighting to the insane clothes and snappy dialogue.”
“They’ve all reached the point where they’re in the public eye, but they’re not rolling around in blacked-out SUVs or being chased around like Madonna. A lot of them take the subway and they still complain about the price of rents and monthly car parking,” Gay reveals. “They’re in a nice place in their careers. They’re now recognizable enough to get interest for other things, but not so recognizable that daily life is a drag.”

Bummer, dudes. Check out the rest here.

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The Tabloids Have Only Just Realized Jason Segel Is A Sex Symbol

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 17:04:00 GMT

I was on a date a few years ago and mentioned that I'd been enjoying the then-recently released DVD of Freaks And Geeks: The Complete Series. My date took me aback by rolling her eyes to the skies and murmuring about her lustful tendencies toward one Jason Segel. My response: "You mean the fat guy who plays the drummer?"

I quickly recovered by saying I was "joking" and that I was just a bit surprised since James Franco is much more attractive and sports a tight leather jacket throughout. (Seth Rogen was on the show, too, but who could have then predicted that he would be the sex symbol of 2009?) My date imparted a piece of knowledge which I have not forgotten: "Jason Segel is a sexy, sexy man."

The New York Post and other tabloid rags would have done well to have figured that out before 99% of the culture did, sometime between Freaks and Forgetting Sarah Marshall, which featured Segel's famous full-frontal nude scene...

Here's what the Post had to say about the premiere of "I Love You, Man," one of these straight-guy/bromance movies that will hopefully be done away with at Hollywood's earliest convenience:

JASON Segel, sex symbol? The 6-foot-4 comic had a gaggle of female admirers at the Cinema Society screening of "I Love You Man" the other night, including a model who told him she was disappointed the flick didn't feature a full-frontal scene as did his "Forgetting Sarah Marshall." Quipped Segel: "I kept whipping it out, but they wouldn't put it in." Also at the Soho Grand after-party thrown by Details were co-stars Paul Rudd and Rashida Jones, plus Edward Norton, Parker Posey, Bee Shaffer and Eric and Kimberly Villency. [NY Post]

Ladies, don't despair about the deleted scenes featuring Segel's schlong-- he was kidding. Of course, he was full frontal in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, in photos widely available on the internet. Click here for those links and make sure your safe search is off.

What do our readers think? Jason Segel-- hot or not?

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While You Were Sleeping: Blake Fielder-Civil's 16-Year-Old Girlfriend?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Thrilla in vanilla: Michael Jackson's press conference announcing some London shows he'll soon cancel was not exactly a thriller. See the video Scanner Emily shared yesterday.

Dr. Sanjay Gupta has decided to turn down a job in the Obama Administration.

Hero of the day: the nurse who bought a disabled boy a fake vagina so he could get himself off.

Yeah, fuck the paps. Michelle Rodriquez rules.

A foot fetish story has NPR in hot water with the usual dumbass listeners who all apparently have broken radio dials.

Did you hear that a car crashed through The Mac Store in Eugene, Oregon on Tuesday? Scary footage here, story at this link.

One of those female Chinese medal winners turns to be a man.

Seinfeld cast members will take over Curb Your Enthusiasm in the upcoming season.

Madonna was named PETA's most hated.

Amy Winehouse's husband is rumored to be involved with a sixteen-year-old girl. We said "rumored" so don't sue is if they're just friends...

Michael Jackson's Statues Are Not Helping His Public Image

Amy Winehouse, Topless Again, Stars in Her Most Bizarre Adventure Yet

Sloppy Seconds: Amy Winehouse's New Single Life

Anna Friel Has Been Getting Naked Since Before She Was Born

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 23:11:00 GMT

Forgive the silly headline here, but we must address the recent "shock" that resonated throughout the blogosphere about Pushing Daisies star Anna Friel's controversial nude scenes in her upcoming movie.

People: a simple Google search will tell you whether anyone has ever appeared naked anywhere at any time, including in the shower...

The Sun and other useless newspapers are desperate to stay afloat, so it's no surprise they're pretending the few well-known actresses getting naked in recently-released movies are first-time affairs and that their photographs/screenshots are excerpts. Gwyneth Paltrow was the first to be incorrectly (and widely) labeled a "new nude," followed by Anna Friel.

Here is her nude canon, followed by a badly-edited clip from Bathory, her latest naked-fest, and a photo from the same. Bathory, by the way, tells the exceptionally disturbing story of Elizabeth Bathory, a Hungarian countess in the late 16th/early 17th centuries and the world's most accomplished female serial killer, with hundreds of victims to her credit.

Rogue Trader

The Tribe

Me Without You

Bathory

...and the promised Bathory screenshot. Cree-py...

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While You Were Sleeping: Britain's Next Topless Model

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Don't cancel your Mexican vacation, says the country's President... the shocking drug violence there will be all cleared up, you know, in 2012.

Brittany Snow will appear in a new spinoff of Gossip Girl, a popular educational program.

Another supermodel bites the dust... Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady were married in Santa Monica yesterday, after having denied the wedding rumors for months, even years.

Jake and Reese are rumored to be the next celebrity couple that will walk down the aisle.

Kate Nash is already one step ahead of them, although her fiancee is an unknown.

Just the latest in a long line of 45-year-old hotties to grace the nudie mag, Lisa Rinna will be the next one to pose for Playboy.

This unanimous Supreme Court ruling on religious monuments in public parks is extremely troublesome.

The woman in the car during Morgan Freeman's car accident claims he was drunk. Oh, and she's absolutely not his mistress. And one more: she's suing him for not denying the mistress thing.

Hero of the day? A mother ran into her daughter's rapist while he was out of jail on a weekend pass. He asked after her daughter, apparently in a gleeful manner, and so she followed him into a bar, poured a bottle of petrol all over him and... struck a match...

And Britain's Next Top Model is already topless...

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Obama Crashes Carnival Party, Thanks to Naked Carnival Queen

Krasinski and Fischer Sadly Opted Out of "The Office" Porn

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 17:01:00 GMT

As it does for every cultural phenomenon, the adult film industry has created a XXX spoof the NBC sitcom The Office...

We're not even sure this trailer of the parody film is really NSFW. In fact: there's only one flash of boob, and it's a covered one. Here's hoping the actual film lives up to its promises... now who'll be the first to mail us a review copy?

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We Wish They'd Shut Down American Idol Instead of Stripper Idol

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 23:56:00 GMT

Did anyone else see this train wreck, pictured above, who somehow manage to squeak by the competition and land a trip to Hollywood? Not only did she skank it to the max to highlight her vocal shortcomings, but then she tried to make out with Ryan Seacrest-- twice. Bleech.

30.1 million people tuned in for Tuesday night's season premiere of American Idol. Among those who were not watching-- patrons at the Austin bar The Palazio Men's Club, who had better things to do...

(Sure, the contest is on Thursday nights, but it's not like the patrons were watching Fox the other night, what with glorious stripping right in front of them.)

American Idol's lawyers, who apparently have infinite amounts of money and time, decided to shut down the Texas competition which pits amateur topless females in 60-second strip-offs for a cash prize of $500. (That's it? Hell, strippers used to make $500 a night each... and now there'll only be one and everyone else gets zilch?) The bored lawyers claim that the "color scheme, design and font" of the Austin competition is too similar to the Fox one-- we're sure it's identical, but that's not the point-- and then this gem:

"There is a substantial likelihood that consumers will be confused, misled or deceived as to the sponsorship ... of the defendants' stripper talent contest."

Right. Grandma who wants to see another Jordan Sparks wannabe is going to go to a bar, thinking that the show is no longer on TV, and will somehow miss that the word "American" has been changed to "STRIPPER." Of course, the judge will side with whomever has the highest-paid lawyers, so Texas is screwed again.

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Top 10 Reasons To Watch 30 Rock

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 20:20:00 GMT

As if you need a reason besides the above-pictured lass, the year's #1 entertainer, according to various publications...

Instead of posting much today, we've been checking out last week's episode of 30 Rock and wondering why you haven't done the same. Here are the first ten reasons we could think of (there are at least 2,000 more) for why you should heading to your Netflix account immediately and ordering up the Complete First and Second Seasons, then checking out the show on NBC Thursday nights, starting again January 8th.

10. Although Fey was forced to fire Rachel Dratch in order to cut costs (how much could a cameo as a little blue monster run them?), you can catch the old episodes via DVD-- we defy you not to watch the entire season in one or two sittings.

9. Will Arnett. Will Arnett. Will Arnett, Will Arnett. Better yet, a maniacal Will Arnett with a lust for a chipper NBC page boy.

8. You owe Tina Fey for making your year with her Sarah Palin imitation. This is how you'll thank her.

7. The bit players aren't the stock sitcom types-- they're memorable and ridiculous without being entirely unrealistic.

6. Tracy Morgan's one-liners are so out-of-left-field and off-the-cuff, you'll wonder if he's reading off cue cards or just making this madness up as he rolls along. Seriously, does he?

5. Even the hokey celebrity walk-ons are inspired. From Steve Martin's reclusive rich kook to Jennifer Aniston's bombshell nutcase, this season's earliest episodes may never be topped for sheer consecutive star power.

4. Elaine Stritch's recurring role as Jack's mother, for which she was awarded an Emmy last year, are the highlights of every season. (She was the guest star on last Thursday's Christmas show, which was dynamite. A clip can be found below.)

3. Because the frumpier they try to make Tina Fey look, the more adorable she is.

2. Alec Baldwin is the best comedian working in television today.

1. They're desperately seeking your ratings. Hell, if Oprah can't save them, nobody can...

Sure, we understand that the critically acclaimed yet ratings-challenged "30 Rock" has to do what it can to wrangle viewers, but many of the A-list cameos the show has employed for that purpose have been seriously subpar. Jerry Seinfeld's and Jennifer Aniston's appearances on the series were equally lukewarm. Oddly enough, the standout cameo of 2008 came courtesy of non-comedian Oprah Winfrey, who played herself, opposite an advice-hungry Liz Lemon during a plane flight. Was it a gimmick? Yeah. Did it work? Totally.

Check it out at NBC.

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Sexist Sex and the City Ripoff... With A Terrible Twist

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 17:32:00 GMT

Robert Altman's The Player opens with a send-up of Hollywood pitch meetings, including one where Buck Henry pitches a sequel to The Graduate, almost a quarter century later. The joke pitches are cringe-inducing in a humorous way, but you had to say to yourself, "This is probably nothing compared to how bad the real movie and TV ideas are that people are trying to sell."

Case in point: this bizarre new TV series being developed, according to the Hollywood Reporter, by who else but the Fox Network...

Check out the Reporter's description of the show:

Talk about a hairy "Sex and the City."

The Fox network is developing "Bitches," a dramedy about a quartet of female friends in New York who are werewolves. [Oh, so not only does it, in a way, rip off Buffy The Vampire Slayer, it also demeans and insults women! And, of course, it's a Fox production...]
The project, which has received a script plus penalty commitment from the network, hails from feature writer Michael Dougherty and Warner Bros. TV. [T]he project... [is] described as a quirky urban fairy tale...

"Bitches" continues the werewolf theme from Dougherty's recent horror flick "Trick 'r Treat." [And we all remember how sensationally entertaining and intelligent that feature was, right? If we remember it at all, that is...]
2009 is shaping up to be a big year for werewolves with the release of the Benicio del Toro-starring remake of "The Wolfman" and the "Twilight" sequel "New Moon." [Wonderful-- now they've sucked Benicio into their remake machine of doom?!]
WMA-repped Dougherty's writing credits also include "Superman Returns" and "X2: X-Men United." [No comment.]

Image via.

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Flight of the Conchords... Already Premiering Right Here, Baby

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 20:30:00 GMT

After the jump, your season two premiere, complete and uncut, courtesy of Funny or Die...

Season 2 Online Premiere - Flight of the Conchords (US Only)

The Wire: We Was Robbed (of an Emmy Nomination)

While You Were Sleeping: Khloe Kardashian Looks Weird Naked

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 14:09:00 GMT

The Golden Globe Award nominations will be announced today. We'll have that story for you as soon as we can get it together.

There's trouble at Miss Porter's School, alma matter of Jackie O and Gloria Vanderbilt, site of some of this Scanner blogger's most notorious teenage escapades. Let's hope everything gets cleared up real nice... so not-so-nice boys can continue to bother females there for years to come.

Ugly Betty added a new, annoying celebrity to add to its roster...

Former The O.C. star Mischa Barton looks set to be returning to TV screens - the actress is reportedly in talks to join the cast of Ugly Betty.

Our favorite excerpt of the morning:

The question of penis size
UW Badger Herald - Madison,WI,USA
In lots of anatomy textbooks, the vagina is portrayed as a gaping black abyss, but in real life, the vaginal opening looks more like a fold of tissue...

Will Ferrells' Bush mockery revue will play HBO.

Best Picture of the Year? According to the NY critics, it's Milk.

And Khloe Kardashian's bizarre appearance in a PETA ad has nothing to do with how her body looks-- that hair is just freaking us out.

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University of Wisconsin Disappears Into A Haze Of Substance Abuse And Good Times!

We Won't Milk "Milk" For Its Every Pun, Promise...

When '2 Become 1' Becomes 25 Cents, or How I Didn't Lose My Virginity to the Music of the Spice Girls

Today in Unlikely Couples: David Spade and....

Emily Farris — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 18:11:00 GMT

David Spade was caught smooching with a new lady over the weekend. We were surprised when David Spade dated Heather Locklear. And again when he married some model. So we're not all that surprised by this. It's not that he's unattractive, he's just... David Spade, you know?

So, who is Spade's new lady friend?

Nicollette Sheridan and David Spade were spotted smooching Friday night at Beverly Hills restaurant Luau. There to celebrate Sheridan's 45th birthday, the pair — who arrived separately and began dinner at separate booths — 'couldn't resist each other for long,' a source tells Usmagazine.com.

According to the source, Spade winked at Sheridan and was by her side as she blew out the candles on her birthday cake. Later, the pair reportedly holed up in a booth where they 'cuddled and kissed.'

Sheridan's people say she's not dating Spade. Mhmm.

[MollyGood: New Make Out Buddies Alert]

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[Image, Image]

The 50 Sexiest Movies of All-Time: 50-41

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 18:41:00 GMT

This summer, we gave you the 50 Sexiest Albums of All-Time in an effort to help the music industry's sluggish sales numbers. Now, we present an even sexier compendium-- complete with a few NSFW scenes to warm up your November afternoon-- as well as background and trivia and everything else that we can think of to convince you to rent these the next time you want to seduce somebody...

The 50 Sexiest Movies of All Time: 50-41

50. The Seven Year Itch. Backstory: What more do you need than this, Marilyn Monroe's famous subway grate encounter? Trivia: It has the Joe DiMaggio Seal of Disapproval-- the scene was so sexy, her husband (that guy from the Mrs. Robinson song) fled and never came back. Irnoically, the skirt blowing up? Deleted from the movie itself. Luckily, the rest of the film is brimming with unconsummated sexuality.

49. Casablanca. Backstory: Not even the sexiest movie from 1943, this earns its place here for the most romantic scene in movie history, in our opinion. Watching Bogie decide to do the right thing and send the love of his life off on a plane with her husband is so damn manly of him that, at the mere reminder of this moment, our gonads hang in shame. Trivia: The original ending came very closed to being changed thank to the Allied invasion of Casablanca just before the film was to be released.

48. Cruel Intentions. Backstory: Is it wrong to choose this over Les Liaisons Dangereuses, its predecessor? No, for while Liaisons did have a notable sex scene featuring the breasts of Uma Thurman, it also featured the tongue of John Malkovich and didn't really capture our (sexual) interest throughout. Oddly enough, the sinister and more overt incestuous teasing Sarah Michelle Gellar puts Ryan Phillipe through kept us glued to this otherwise merely grade-B adaptation of the famed French novel. Trivia: The sequel was originally planned as a TV series called Manchester Prep; here's how bad it was: when Fox decided it was too risque for their radical right-wing mindsets, the producers simply slapped the first three episodes together, added a nude scene, and released it straight to video. Yep, it's that good... [NSFW naughtiness starting after the 40-second mark.]

47. Midnight Cowboy. Backstory: If you're over the age of 12, you've hopefully done your civic duty and watched the only (then-)rated X movie to win Best Picture. If you haven't, stop reading and add it to your queue at once. If you've already seen it, then you know the hilarious sex scenes and sexual tension between Jon Voight and Dustin Hoffman are only two of the reasons it helped to usher in a new dawn of gritty Hollywood filmmaking. Trivia: The film's famous party scene includes actual Warhol Superstars and the script was written by the great blacklisted writer Waldo Salt.

46. Flashdance. Backstory: While dancing in a lousy Pittsburgh bar and dreaming of studying at a nearby conservatory, Jennifer Beals meets the owner of a steel mill, where she also works. The two gradually fall in love... and yeah, you read Cinderella? You're tired of bad 80s music? Then you don't need this film. What you do need is this clip below... Trivia: The script was co-written by Joe Eszterhas, who went on to pen Showgirls and Basic Instinct.

45. Body Heat. Backstory: Hey, remember when Kathleen Turner used to be hot? We don't either-- although many people swear by the steamy Southern tale of murder, betrayal, and other cliched Hollywood plot twists. Trivia: Who cares about trivia? Watch this scene of unrestrained animal lust, which almost makes you forget it involves William Hurt and Kathleen Turner. [NSFW almost immediately.]

44. No Way Out. Backstory: Sean Young's character is so magnificiently attractive, not only does Kevin Costner risk life and life to sleep with her, but Gene Hackman ends up doing a terrible thing in rage because of her. (We won't say what it is, but here's a hint: they give it away on the back cover of the DVD, those idiots.) Trivia: This is the only film on this list that includes a sex scene in a movie vehicle. Also, nobody ever looked as good as Sean Young (!) does in that early party scene. Never ever. [NSFW almost immediately.]

43. Goldfinger. Backstory: It's fucking James Bond, yo, so there's your backstory. This is the one with Pussy Galore and all her hot young pilots, Shirley Eaton wearing only gold body paint, plus Sean Connery at his peak. Trivia: The Aston Martin spy car was introduced in this film and was such a successful inclusion it insured many films had donated product placements from them on.

42. Bound. Backstory: Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon make sex movie, yas. Trivia: This movie had a major cult following in the days before internet porn took off, and probably still does to this day. At one time, the phenomenon reached such a fever pitch, the following clip topped several Best Sex Scene Polls. The rest of the movie is pretty randy, too. [NSFW starting around the 4-minute mark.]

41. Bull Durham. Backstory: Who knew North Carolinans had such hot sex and great minor league sports teams? Trivia: The sex was so spectacular, Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon decided to keep it going in real life... and they still do, or so we're told. Also, if you look closely, the note that Costner sends over to Sarandon doesn't say “I want to make love to you.” It says, “Wanna fuck this time?” And one more: Kurt Russell, who played minor league ball at one time, was originally set to star. [NSFW starts after a few minutes, then continues through two consecutive sex scenes.]

To be continued... your suggestions, as always, are welcome in the comments section.

Top 5 Sex Scenes From TV Shows

Top 5 Lesbian Sex Scenes

Lizzy Caplan And Her HBO Porn Show Still Terrible, Terribly Hot

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Lizzy Caplan And Her HBO Porn Show Still Terrible, Terribly Hot

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 20:53:00 GMT

The hits just keep coming from X-rated HBO series True Blood, with this week's sex scene hotter than any of the previous ones... except that XXX-rated Anna Paquin one in the graveyard... or... or...

Well, anyway, if Lizzy Caplan doesn't end up a big movie star thanks to this show, she does have a career as the next Shannon Tweed...

Check out this latest raunchfest, complete with a greenscreen sequence so bad, we had to check to make sure this isn't a cable access show. In fact, the effects here are beyond parody, to the point where you half expect a Flight of the Conchords song to start and Jermaine to croon about tapping that sweet, sweet ass... (Also, who the hell designed that tire track on the vampire's face?)

Image via Flaunt Magazine.

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GayBalls: The Final Episode

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 17:47:00 GMT

It seems the economy is even hurting the webseries industry: this is the last episode of GayBalls, according to an e-mail we just received from Christopher Lee, the show's co-creator.

You let us know, loud and clear, you still wanted to see the basketball-playing studs... and so, for the final time...

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This Week In Gayness: We Say No To That Yes On Prop 8

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 19:56:00 GMT

As we reported earlier, the gay romance on Grey's Anatomy has ended, thanks to a questionable change in the TV show's storyline. Hmmm...

We're still wondering about these gay-baiting robo-calls.

How is this guy still allowed out of the house? Ever? He should do 500 years in prison, at minimum:

A gay disc jockey in Raleigh originally convicted of violating HIV infection regulations in August has been placed on house arrest after admitting he broke probation orders in early October. On Sept. 6, Q-Notes reported that Joshua Waldon Weaver, 23, who works in clubs in Raleigh and Wilmington, pleaded guilty to charges that he failed to disclose his HIV-positive status and engaged in unprotected sex with three people. Weaver was given a suspended jail sentence and placed on probation. The terms of his probation ordered Weaver to use protection when engaging in sexual activity. About two weeks ago Weaver was arrested after Wake County Public Health officials contacted his probation officer with information that he had possibly violated court orders by having sex without a condom. Assistant District attorney Boz Zellinger told The News & Observer that health officials became aware of the DJ's violation after he contracted another sexually transmitted disease that could have been prevented by the use of a condom. Weaver could have faced 40 days in jail for his most recent violation, but District Court Judge Jacqueline Brewer instead sentenced him to six months of electronically-monitored house arrest. He will not be allowed to leave his father's house except for probation-approved employment.

Not that it matters now, but Obama did not support Prop 8. Pro 8, as you may have heard, appears to have passed, thanks to bigoted Mormons and, ironically, the black vote. Meanwhile, Florida and Arizona aren't helping move this country out of the Dark Ages.

And the Simpsons are causing controversy once again, this time with gay groups decrying the latest episode of the hit Fox show. (You can see the clip here, with the offending section at 15:45.)

Bart Simpson's cartoon nemesis is being blasted for his use of the schoolyard taunt "that's so gay" while bullying resident nerd Milhouse Van Houten in The Simpsons' annual Halloween episode airing last Sunday.

But the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network says the remark is nothing to laugh at.

"Many people say gay without even realizing what they're saying is bad,'" GLSEN spokesman Daryl Presgraves tells E! News.

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Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 21:31:00 GMT

We're wrapping up early today so we can stay glued to the TV. Check out our election thread here.

The Examiner examined the worst celebrity magazine covers of all time. Guess how many are David Duchovny photos?

Another naked prank went wrong.

How the hell did this end up in a kid's Halloween candy bag?

When their children returned from Halloween trick-or-treating, a couple found suspected methamphetamine and $85 in cash among their 7-year-old son's Snickers bars and Skittles. Lars and Shelly Brosdahl called police, who confirmed that the substance was methamphetamine, worth up to $200 on the street. [AP/Yahoo]

An enraged husband and his two brothers got a drunk and cut off his dick as revenge for a supposed sex act committed with the enraged man's wife.

A man who raped a horse got off easy. (No pun intended, please!)

Brooke Smith's role as Dr. Erica Hahn on Grey's Anatomy is over. Do you think it's discrimination? The argument didn't convince us either way.

And the Kate Winslet-Vanity Fair photos Scanner Emily posted yesterday are causing the predictable controvsery. Airbrushed? Photoshopped? Who cares?

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Lizzy Caplan, Not To Be Outdone By Anna Paquin, Takes It Off For True Blood

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 21:01:00 GMT

We have no idea who this Lizzy Caplan person is, but she has graciously agreed to match the nudity donation offer by her True Blood co-star Anna Paquin, who herself kicked off our weekend last Friday...

We gotta say, however, that this True Blood show is one of the weirdest shows we've ever seen. It's like Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossed with a Shannon Tweed film and directed by an inebriated and deceased Edgar Allen Poe. Check out what happens when the vampiric actors get jiggy with it... magical CGI shoots out of their hands and... wait, what is that coming out of her boobs?

The video is here (obviously NSFW.) Enjoy-- or scratch your head and wonder and enjoy... and happy Friday.

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We Got Yer 30 Rock Season Premiere Right Here...

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 19:46:00 GMT

It doesn't even broadcast for another seven days, but we have the 30 Rock season premiere after the jump.

Bonus: we believe it has something to do with the career of Will Arnett... AND it does not involve seeing Tina Fey repeating any of Sarah Palin's most painful moments... so enjoy...

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Top 5 Worst TV Spinoffs

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 16:17:00 GMT

Most great (or at least successful shows) have had as spinoff or two spun from them. Unfortunately, they are almost uniformly insulting to humanity.

Take, for example, these five forgotten fiascos... which we've brought back full force just when you had finally gotten over the painful experiences you had watching them the first time around...

5. A Man Called Hawk. This definitely has kitsch factor going for it-- otherwise, it would be far and away our #1 choice. This 1989 masterpiece, a spinoff of Spenser For Hire, has easily the most unintentionally hilarious opening credit sequence in television history. That's enough to earn it a place on our very short list...

4. The Tortellis. Remember Dan Hedaya? He was in the Usual Suspects and some other popular films, for one thing. Another thing: he played the absentee husband to Carla on Cheers... for six episodes. Not too long after, executives decided they needed to start spinning off their hit show for George Wendt and Kelsey Grammar vehicles (who woulda thunk that they'd have such hits?) One of their less-inspired ideas was this show, seen here in a bumper from its early days.

3. After M*A*S*H. Christ Almighty, hadn't this show been around long enough? After more than a decade on the air, M*A*S*H concluded in 1983 with one of the best and most-watched shows in television history, a finale so powerful and satisfying that even Hollywood would know to let it go out in style... oops. The next thing you know, After takes up where the original left off, set after the war in a veteran's hospital but it's really not the same without the blood and gallows humor. Or Alan Alda and his space alien voice.

2. Joey. A stiff, overrated primetime soap opera-comedy goes off the air as the #1 show... what do you do next? Apparently, find the third wheel character and expand his role into a whole new series. (Hey, it worked for Frasier, right?) It's even worse than you imagined when you heard they were doing it:

1. Saved By The Bell: The College Years. Say what you will about Saved By The Bell's original run (we'll say: worst long-running "comedy" ever, bar none), it couldn't have been as awful as this. Could it?

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