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Who Would You Rather: Kate vs. Juliet?

Emily Farris — Thu, 14 May 2009 22:06:00 GMT

Okay, we don't want to give up too much about last night's LOST season finale (but hello! Jacob! WTF?!?!), but after watching Sawyer's breakdown, we have to ask, who would you rather, Kate or Juliet?

Related:

Who Would You Rather: Nancy Grace vs. Rachael Ray?

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Who Would You Rather, Celebrity Chef Edition: Gordon Ramsay vs. Bobby Flay?

The 10 Best Things About the New Star Trek

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 13 May 2009 18:58:00 GMT

Haven't seen the new Star Trek yet? You are not alone... in the universe! Ha... is joke.

Seriously, this might end up being the first film in ages to actually draw in significant repeat business-- Trekkies are over the moon, film buffs are racing at warp speed to get home and blog, and we've run out of bad puns already. In other words, don't be left out this weekend...

10. This could be the Star Trek film that breaks the Oscar curse. The series is 0 for 10, mainly in sound and effects categories, and has never been nominated in a category bigger than cinematography. But we would not be surprised, given the quality of movies released this year, that Star Trek pics up nods in screenplay, effects, and even acting categories. You heard it here first.

9. Leonard Nimoy's cameo gives the movie great dramatic weight-- unlike 99.9% of all prequel cameos. Most of the time, when you bring back the star of a film's previous series, it results in mockery and cinematic travesty. For example, Sean Connery's return as James Bond nearly ruined the series, even more so than the casting of Timothy Dalton. Thankfully, this Star Trek is more, say, Diamonds Are Forever than Never Say Never Again.

8. It finally launched little known film director J.J. Abrams's career. Abrams, you probably didn't know, has spent years slumming it as the #1 producer of network television.

7. If this guy hates it, it must be good. The self-described Trekkie fails to see what's great about the movie-- it's Star Trek without all the hokey sci-fi goofing around that turned off so many casual viewers.

6. It makes us want to go watch the first four movies again. (Although, of course, nothing can make us want to watch any of the others.) That's the big difference with this and the Star Wars prequels-- it actually belongs in the series canon.

5. Because J.J. chose quality over a gimmick. Bill Shatner has made no bones (no pun intended) about his disdain for the filmmakers. We see his point-- Nimoy gets a huge supporting role, while Shatner doesn't even merit a walk-on. But Abrams & co. were right to leave that rumored cameo unfilmed-- the scene that would kind-of work, initially slated to follow the climax, could easily have stalled the movie's dramatic momentum and might have sent people out of the theater shaking their heads at the inappropriate side-tracking. Abrams made the very wise decision to not risk the movie's tension-- and it was clearly the right decision.

4. Because it will launch the career of a great young actor, Chris Pine. When we first saw trailers for the film, we kept saying, "Man, the new Kirk looks like a poor man's Ryan Reynolds." And saying someone is anything like Ryan Reynolds is a huge insult where we come from. That "annoying-looking pretty boy model," Chris Pine, turns in he year's best breakthrough performance-- are you listening, MTV?

3. All the ladies agree: Zachary Quinto is the thinking woman's sex symbol for the 21st Century. Spock, as Quinto plays him, is transformed into a studly romantic brainiac badass. Who could've predicted that?

2. This weekend, it will likely become the highest-grossing Tyler Perry movie of all time. Yes-- he's in two scenes and since no one knew he was in the film when it first opened, there were whispers all around: "Hot damn-- is that Madea?"

1. It's just that damn entertaining. We watched the film with a mild fan and two people who had very little interest in the movie-- and all enjoyed it tremendously. They agreed with this reviewer that Star Trek jump-starts a series that had been "mined to exhaustion." Best of all, this weekend, it goes up against Angels and Demons, the sequel to The Da Vinci Code, giving you yet another reason to help keep this atop the box office...

The Hottest Unknown Women Of Star Trek

"I Broke My Dick And It Made Shatner A Star"

While You Were Sleeping: Mel Gibson Is In Trouble Now

Sex & The City Made "Mindless Twits" of You All?

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 07 May 2009 19:58:00 GMT

We've been enjoying Slate a lot more than we used to. This is due, in part, to the presence of smartass movie critic Dana Stevens, who gave the new Jim Jarmusch movie a careful, calculated, and expert drubbing.

But it's a quote we found by her regarding the Sex And The City movie that really woke us up to her thinking:

The show's values are reprehensible, its view of gender relations cartoonish, its puns execrable. I honestly believe, as I wrote when the series finale aired in 2004*, that Sex and the City is singlehandedly responsible for a measurable uptick in the number of materialistic twits in New York City and perhaps the world. And yet … and yet … there's a core truth to the show's depiction of female friendship that had me awaiting the big-screen version with exactly the kind of cream-puff nostalgia the movie's marketers are bargaining for. I want to know how the girls are doing, what's happened to them in the four years since I last joined them at brunch, and what in the name of God they're wearing.

In real life, Carrie's narcissism would make her a terrible friend, but Sarah Jessica Parker makes bottomless self-absorption look like such fun.

She followed up her comments on the movie, which weren't entirely negative, with an appearance on WNYC radio, in which she used the word "mindlessly" before "materialistic twits."

We have to kind of agree that, while the show is meant to be a comedy, far too many single women in New York (and probably elsewhere) took it seriously and, to this day, still act like extras on the HBO series. Many a guy friend has used the phrase "Sex and the City syndrome" when describing why they decided one date with a new female was enough. Now, with the followup film just announced, are we wrong to think SJP's star vehicle has hindered rather than helped people find love?

Via Slate.

Related:

"Sex and The City" Sequel: Mr. Big is Back!

Whatever You Do, Don't Pack Lingerie for a Trip to England

Scanner Highs and Lows: In Which You Did Not Dangle Your Balls in Our Face

Sloppy Seconds: These Boobs Are Made of Magic

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 07 May 2009 00:20:00 GMT

You may need to right-click these links to open them in a new tab/window.

Here's your Fark-ready story of the day: the speed camera guy was caught speeding!

As if Michael Jackson doesn't have enough problems, he's being sued by a former publicist for $44 million.

The world just discovered that kids are inspired to have sex after watching TV.

Your headline of the day: "Q: What do you do when your little girl is playing with her brother's penis?"

These boobs can do magical tricks.

Wouldn't it be amazing if Stringer Bell became James Bond after Daniel Craig.

Bristol Palin thinks abstinence works. Just when we were beginning to think she was intelligent.

And Kiefer Sutherland had a fight. Unfortunately, it wasn't for 24.

Domino's Phallic Pasta Ad is Too Hot For TV

Emily Farris — Tue, 05 May 2009 18:58:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: Domino's Pasta Dude commercial stars a penis-shaped piece of pasta rapping while thrusting his noodley hips repeatedly at a family of four and saying the phrase "Pasta Dude" (read: "Prostitute").

It's not really hot, so much as disturbing.

Read more...

Today in WTF: Mom Tries To Shame Her Daughter Into Getting Breast Implants

Emily Farris — Mon, 04 May 2009 20:04:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: We've always had a semi-tortured relationship with MTV's True Life documentaries (who could forget the harrowing "I'm Addicted to Crystal Meth" episode of '02? Or the oddly chilling "I Self-Injure" episode of '07?), but it's been a while since we've been as all-out horrified by one as we were this weekend during "I Hate My Small Breasts" in which Nicole, mother to 18 year old Shacole, tries to shame her daughter into getting breast implants.

Read more...

Miss California Carrie Prejean Appears In New Anti-Gay Marriage Ad

Emily Farris — Fri, 01 May 2009 21:36:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: Well, she's certainly not backing down, is she? The commercial is from some group called the National Organization For Marriage and features Miss California's now-famous "no offense" response to Perez Hilton's question. Yesterday the Miss USA runner-up joined NOM to launch the "no offense" ad. This after New Hampshire passed a bill Wednesday to become the fifth state to legalize same-sex marriages. Ms. Prejean, you're only 21 years old and the world is already passing you by...

Read more...

Heidi Montag Nude In Playboy?

Emily Farris — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 19:02:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: Word is she and Spencer are in negotiations with Hef...

Read more...

BBC's Topless Ambition

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 19:29:00 GMT

Kirsten O'Brien just did a documentary called Kirsten's Topless Ambition for BBC3, which is all about her boobs. More specifically, the documentary discusses the question that has been bugging women in the entertainment industry for years: should I take my boobs out for a wank mag like FHM or keep getting stuck in this Grade-Z TV rut?

O'Brien had been working as the host of a kids show for over 10 years when she took a look around her and realized that all of her female friends in the business were making it big and she was being left behind. As O'Brien told the British press:

"Over the years, it's something I've watched women do, and it's fascinated me.

"Now I'm at a career crossroads and that's the usual point in which women do a shoot, when they say 'I want to get out of kids telly, what do I do? I know, I'll get me swimsuit on and get me la las out'," she says, laughing raucously.

Instead of taking her, uh, "la las out," O'Brien had herself tailed by a camera crew and debacles like this one were captured for posterity:

She dances for the nightclub owner in an attempt to prove she can stop laughing long enough to look good on the podium.

Unsurprisingly, it doesn't go well.

"That was quite interesting! I embraced the challenge of it, there's no point forming an opinion on something unless you've explored it a little bit," she explains.

"The girls I met were lovely too, really friendly and helpful. That's not to say I could do anything by the end of it!

"What's not explained in the documentary is when you see me run upstairs to do my dance for Peter Stringfellow, I've got the most ridiculous tutu on. I was trying to figure out what to wear, and someone said 'Peter's here and he can't wait' so I had to run upstairs, wearing the tutu, but still with with my jogging bottoms on underneath.

"I did want to try properly, I didn't want to mess about, so when Peter started laughing at me I was upset," she continues.

"There was one point when I shouted at him, 'Peter, man, you're not taking this seriously' but he carried on laughing. So much so that I decided to stop.

"I did genuinely try, although it might not look like I did!" [Chester Chronicle]

Sounds like going naked isn't for everyone. Then again, we need some girls-next-door that aren't taking their clothes off to develop crushes on. We can't have all the girls be half-naked because that would take the fun out of wishing they would all get naked.

Related:

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Men Have Been Waiting For These Jessica Biel Topless Photos Since 1997

Of Course Prince Got Teased a Lot as a Child

Emily Farris — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 15:21:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: Prince was on PBS' Tavis Smiley Show Monday and Tuesday nights, and a running theme throughout the interviews was how much he got teased as a child. Must have been the raspberry beret. Seriously, can you imagine? The dude is five-foot-nothing, can't weigh more than a buck twenty, and wears cutoff shirts and assless pants. That can't have been a pleasant junior high school experience. Of course, being a musical genius can solve a lot of your problems.

Read more...

"Sex and The City" Sequel: Mr. Big is Back!

Emily Farris — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 21:36:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: Sex and The City fans rejoice! Chris Noth is on board. Sarah Jessica Parker, overlord of all things SATC, said so.

SJP also commented on Gilles Marini's involvement in the project. Turns out she could give less of a shit about that shirtless dancing fool.

Read more...

Sloppy Seconds: Because Breast Milk is Cheaper Than Cow's Milk?

Emily Farris — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 22:33:00 GMT

HBO is developing a new show called "Women's Studies." And we all know what that means. [AfterEllen]

Author JG Ballard, perhaps best known for his book "Empire of the Sun" is dead at 78. [Yahoo!]

If Pulitzer Prize winners are being laid off, is there any hope for us? [Portfolio]

Tennis star Andy Roddick married his girlfriend Brooklyn Decker on Friday. [People]

Though we never had the fear ourselves, we've always understood why certain kids were afraid of the toilet. Now kids everywhere have even more reason to steer clear of the porcelain sucking machine after a three-year-old got her foot stuck in the handle of one (how that happens we don't know) and firefighters had to rescue her. [Telegraph]

Grey's Anatomy star Ellen Pompeo is preggers. [Us]

Food made with breast milk is all the rage these days. Maybe it has to do with the price of cow's milk going up? Anyway, the newest breast milk product is cheese. A recent art exhibit in London featured the product. [APP]

Related:

Which Would The Hipster Rather: Breast Milk Cupcakes vs. Cow Milk Cupcakes?

Breast Milk: To Suckle Or Not To Suckle

[Image]

The AVN Awards "CockWow" Sketch: "Porn's Golden Globes" Does Comedy

Emily Farris — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 19:39:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: All y'all dumbasses that thought that the AVN Awards were porn's Oscars, think again! For one thing, in the pre-show to Showtime's telecast Saturday (delayed months from the January ceremony for what reason???), Best Starlet nominee Sunny Leone opined that it was more like the Golden Globes, which is an analysis that may provide some sort of unimagined insight into the Hollywood Foreign Press, but most likely was just a prearranged segue for red carpet anchor Dave Navarro to talk about her shiny round boobs.

And for another thing, well, we don't remember Billy Crystal ever starring in comedy bits that involved dildos or saying the words "pussy juice". That's totally Golden Globes style, right Jack Nicholson's talking asshole?

Not for the faint of heart, and very defintely NSFW, but we couldn't help ourselves. It's a rarity for porn comedy to be both topical and amusing, and besides, this was too weird not to post.

Read more...

Former Disco Dancer Shocks British TV Audiences With Latest Routine

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 16:12:00 GMT

A woman whose story reads like a 50's pulp novel survived multiple rapes, beatings from her mother, and a forced performance in a porno to become a disco dancing champion, before retiring to become a housewife. On Saturday night, she staged her second comeback on Britain's Got Talent, the Simon Cowell-run spectacle that has seen some serious competition lately.

But Fabia Cerra takes them all down, easy, in our book-- watch what happens when this polite, nervous size 20 sweetheart does after taking the stage for the live taping...

We apologize for this bootleg-quality YouTube video, but the others have embedding disabled. (You can watch the HQ version here.)

Here's what those pesky Union Jacks were covering up:

See you in the finals, Madame Cerra, although it seems some stuffy Brits won't be tuning in:

Ofcom revealed it has received 39 complaints since the programme aired while a further 40 viewers complained to ITV, according to the Telegraph.

Photos via the Daily Mail.

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Full Frontal Nudity On British Afternoon TV

Emily Farris — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 19:49:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: More evidence British television is not at all like American television...

Read more...

SATC Penis Guy's Wife Loves His Sexy Dancing

Emily Farris — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 19:33:00 GMT

This is Gilles Marini. Like us, you may not recognize the name Gilles Marini. In fact, you might not even recognize his face. But if you saw the Sex and the City movie you probably caught a glimpse of his sizable schlong. Or if you (unlike Scanner Brian) have been watching Dancing with the Stars, you might also have seen his junk—through his dance pants, of course. And you know what? Keep looking. Look all you want. Because his wife doesn't give a fuuuuck. In fact, she's not even worried that his partner is Cheryl Burke, who was rumored* to have been sleeping with her DWTS Season One partner, Drew Lachey. So, why is Marini's wife Carole so comfortable with her husband getting other women all hot and bothered?

Because “she’s French,” said Marini. “The more sexy it is [on the show] the better it is for her. Tonight she told me, ‘I saw that shaking booty stuff, you’re going to have to show it to me [at home].”

“Imagine if you do that job and you have a wife in the house or a husband in the house who is very kind of jealous and possessive, things would collapse,” he said in an interview with the website jenandbarbmomlife.com. “If I don’t have my wife at my side I have nothing. And so she is there pushing me and always kissing me and saying, ‘I am so proud of you.’”

Apparently, she pushes real good. The couple have been married for eleven years and have two children together.

[People: Gilles Marini Says Wife Loves His Sexy Dancing]

Related:

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McCain's Fem-bot Wife Wants to Go 'Dancing With the Stars'

Sloppy Seconds: Which "Dancing With the Stars" Star Will Pose for Playboy?

Crushed: Kim Kardashain's Dreams of Dancing With the Stars (Outside the Bedroom, Anyway)

[Image]

*We are not trying to perpetuate this rumor, only acknowlede its existence.

America's Next Topless Model Is... The Judge

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:03:00 GMT

Paulina Porizkova turns 44 this week-- can you believe it? Either way, hopefully you'll agree that she's as stunning as ever.

The Czech-born supermodel was recently captured cavorting topless-- on a U.S. beach, no less. This woman has nothing to hide, prove, or be sorry about, so all those who made nasty comments on blogs where these photos appeared can kiss her bikini-covered...

Here's what a handful of ungrateful children of God had to say about these snaps:

her nipples are huge compared to her breasts! She has ugly breasts in my opinion. [ugly breasts? The only ugly breasts are certan boob jobs, okay?]

around the kids? really? [right, teach those kids to be ashamed of their bodies!]

her nipples were used too much ..they are dark color...well...she is still in good shape [what do you mean? from breastfeeding?!]

You are great.I love to be able to contact you. Ayman Awwas + 962 79 556 00 22 [uh... yeah... Portizkova didn't post these herself, you know]

And a few true winners:

most people wished they looked this good in their 20s let alone at 43. She looks AMAZING.whoever said she has ugly breasts are stupid. in fact anyone talking shit about her body is stupid...

she's better looking than the competitors

Anonymous, if topless women on the beach bother you, maybe it's time for a trip to Europe to broaden your horizons.

Broaden your horizons... there's a sexual pun in there somewhere, if only we knew what to do with it.

Do Not Love: "More to Love"

Emily Farris — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 22:16:00 GMT

Fox is developing a new reality dating show for what producers call "average-looking" people. The show will be similar to The Bachelor but instead of under-fed, over-tanned people desperate to date, the contestants will be over-weight weight women competing for the love of a man who resembles...

Kevin James. (Producers describe him as a "Kevin James-type." Kevin James is that guy from The King of Queens, by the way. We'd prefer a Drew Carey-type, but whatever.)

“For six years it’s been skinny-minis and good-looking bachelors, and that’s not what the dating world looks like,” Mike Darnell of Fox said. “Why don’t real women —the women who watch these shows, for the most part—have a chance to find love too?”

This is a good question, and one that's been ignored too long. But doesn't making a point of singling out the "fatties" just contribute to the bigger problem? If "normal" people are lovable, too, why do they really need their own show? Perhaps the producers could take a cue from Tyra Banks and America's Next Top Model and let some "average-looking people" compete against the "hotties."

[LiveFeed: 'More to Love' -- Fox orders dating competition series for the heavy set]

Related:

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Vintage Video of the Day: Riot Grrrls On 'Roseanne'

Emily Farris — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 17:54:00 GMT

When Roseanne was on the air, we watched it religiously, but we were too young to really appreciate what an amazing show it was—plus, we were too busy crushing on David and trying to be less like Becky and more like Darlene. Each time we catch a repeat, though, we're amazed at how well it portrayed the every-family (at least according to Scanner Emily). One episode we don't remember (probably because we were more Becky than Darlene) is the one where Jenna Elfman appeared on the show as a Riot Grrrl and gave housewife Roseanne a "wake up call."

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Audrina Partridge Already Reduced to Nude Advertisements

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 16:10:00 GMT

Audrina Partridge is gearing up to star in a (hilariously awful!) spinoff of (the hilariously awful!) MTV fiction show The Hills.

Partridge and her ridiculous breast implants are apparently worthy of their own sitcom, since Partridge was such an exciting addition to The Hills that the 30-program could hardly cram in all her personal and professional trials and tribulations. Those mainly consisted of sitting around a pool, talking in an annoying voice, and not pretending to get married in Mexico.

So, MTV decided it can't have Partridge promote her upcoming series by going on "talk" shows, because it doesn't want to scare off its last two potential viewers. Instead, Partridge landed a deal with Divine Rights of Denim jeans, which continues the trend of having celebrity spokespeople pose nude to advertise their lame products...

Have we vented enough yet? Good.

By the way, the ads are above and directly below, followed by what you really clicked on this for: the lost nude Audrina Partridge photos.

More of the Divine Rights shoot here.

The Best Job in the World? Carnival Body Painters

Top 5 Threesome Sex Scenes

French President Names Woman To Cabinet Because She's Hot

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 13:45:00 GMT

French President Nicholas Sarkozy is about to lose his justice minister, the controversial Rachida Dati, who will leave a giant hole in the daily tabloids when she departs in June. (Dati, as you may recall, became a single mother at 42 and then caused an uproar when she attended a cabinet meeting five days later.)

Sarkozy realized France loves its female politicians, particularly much-discussed, attractive ones. So, his next Cabinet minister is going to be Christine Kelly, a woman "known for appearing in her bikini and appearing on TV..."

According to the Telegraph, Kelly was chosen because:

"Mr Sarkozy is hugely impressed that she is not only attractive, but in touch with the modern world,' said a source in the governing UMP party. Ed. Note: Notice he mentioned her looks first...

Yep, those are pretty much the extent of her qualifications, at least according to that story. Sarkozy is well on his way to becoming the next Silvio Berlusconi.

More about Kelly here, if the translation works.

And You Thought Bill Clinton Was A Sex-Crazed Politician...

Lily Allen Has Something to Show You

Does This Supermodel Look Fat To You?

MTV Wants To Give YOU "A Shot At Love"

Emily Farris — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 21:33:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: Break out your bi-kinis and your dental dam, because MTV is casting for Season 4 of A Shot at Love. No details about whose bisexual "love" you'll be vying for, or whether [redacted] will be returning to the show in any capacity, but does it matter? We're confident that MTV will deliver an equally imbalanced, equally barely dressed fameball... So, could you someday wind up having beautiful bathroom sex with said fameball? Here are the details...

Read more...

STD Sunday: The "Rock of Love" Final Four Are Boring And Weird

Emily Farris — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 21:33:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: Hey, you ever noticed how hard it is to tell when Bret Michaels is having fun? He's got that waxy, worked-on face. It never betrays anything other than "I'm Bret Michaels." Well, we sort of had the same face last night. Oh, that happened, and then that happened? Huh. OK. Whatevs.

Read more...

"Gossip Girl": Like Kissing Your Teacher

Emily Farris — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 20:07:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: It's hard to go wrong with a school play in a teen drama -- you get all the characters in the same place, dressed in amusing outfits, and inevitably showcase at least one public meltdown onstage in front of everyone. After all, the school play is really the only plot device that's worked on the new 90210, and Joey and Pacey really brought down the house in Barefoot in the Park.

A couple of problems with this episode:

Read more...

Sloppy Seconds: Gwyneth Paltrow Has a Cure for Joaquin Phoenix

Emily Farris — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 23:01:00 GMT

A round-up of those who are about to die. On TV, of course. [EW]

Is South by Southwest is a pointlless party? [Gawker]

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson apparently came this close to joining the mile high club on a recent Virgin Atlantic flight. [Mile High Club Book]

Researchers say a compound often found in cosmetics and foods like ice cream could help prevent the spread of HIV when used in lube. [CollegeNews]

When we find out a guy we think is cute can't spell, we get really disappointed. Same goes for Joanna Angel. But hey, she Twitters some pretty great stuff. [Twitter]

Gwyneth Paltrow thinks her buddy Joaquin Phoenix needs some street cred if he's doing to keep rapping. She thinks he should take a trip to the projects. [People]

[Image]

Photo of the Week: Is Tom Colicchio Sexier Without Hair?

Emily Farris — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 19:01:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: We're not sure we ever conceptualized a time when Tom Colicchio wasn't gloriously bald. Or, for that matter, a time when TC actually needed a hairnet to prepare gourmet food. Weirdly, when we look at this photo, we keep picturing Colicchio as the host of a mid-eighties home improvement show á la This Old House. Maybe it's the denim shirt.

So, the question of the hour: which Colicchio is sexier?

Read more...

"Family Guy" Episode Pisses Off Parents (VIDEO)

Emily Farris — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 19:30:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: Family Guy has gone too far this time, guys. At least, the Parents Television Council seems to think so -- evidently, the March 8 episode had a little too much bestiality, gay orgies, and consumption of horse sperm for their tastes...

"Fox treated viewers to everything from an ‘eleven-way’ gay orgy to baby Stewie eating a bowl of cereal with horse sperm instead of milk ... if that isn’t enough, the show’s leading character is also shown fanaticizing about his wife and moaning while a horse licks his bare behind. Clearly, the explicit content was not isolated to one instance in one segment of the show; it permeated the entire program." -- PTC President Tim Winter (Live Feed)

We have three reactions to this: First, did you know the PTC was a thing? Second, is this his full time job? Because, if so, it's got to be the WORST job in the world. Presumably they don't have any power to actually regulate TV content (since, you know, we have the FCC for that), so all they can do is spend their days writing angry letters. Third, maybe we should be watching Family Guy more.

Let's take their concerns one at a time...

Read more...

Ricky Gervais Teaches Elmo About Necrophilia

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 15:35:00 GMT

Apparently, Ricky Gervais was on Sesame Street last year, although no concrete evidence exists of this bizarre mashup of British comedy and American kiddie television.

Thankfully, the Associated Press leaked a one-minute excerpt from an interview Gervais and Elmo did for an unknown source (perhaps the AP itself.) Some claim it's in the outtakes on the new 40th Anniversary DVD of Sesame Street. Honestly, no one cares where it came from-- we all just want to know how the hell it happened...

Via Geno's World via YouTube.

Related:

Ricky Gervais Not-So-Secret And Short-Lived Singing Career

The Mile High Club Takes On A Whole New Meaning...

Women vs. Sexy Sex Ads

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 22:30:00 GMT

Over the years, the Department of the Obvious has informed us that women are found to be turned off by advertisements with strong sexual content, such as American Apparel billboards or TV spots for those randy Teletubbies.

However, new research has shown there is one thing women of all ages respond to in sexy ads... and no, it's not peen...

The study, published this month in Journal of Consumer Research, finds that women respond more favorably to sexual ads when the item in the ad is described as a gift from a man to a woman. In addition, women have high positive responses to sexual ads that depict a committed and loving man — but not for those depicting a committed and loving woman. [Emphasis added.]

We're not sure we even wanted to know this. After all, isn't this kind of study-- and web reporting on it-- actually reinforcing stereotypes and encouraging advertisers to make the same type of simplistic ads over and over? Selfish women want a ring but not to have to be tied down, while, as the study goes on to say, selfish men don't want to buy women anything-- they just want to get laid. In fact, they responded negatively to ads suggesting sex should be received only after purchasing or somehow bartering something with a woman.

When viewing the sexual ads, women responded more favorably to the ad with the gift. However, men preferred the sexual ad without the gift. "Despite their steadfast support for sex-based advertising, we did find that men reacted negatively to sexually explicit ads when the ads strongly reminded men that they may, at times, devote monetary resources in pursuit of sexual contact," the authors wrote. [Live Science]

Yes, it seems we're in a vicious cycle, and advertising is only going to get more desperate... and obvious. For further proof, see the related section...

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Top Ten Responses to the Star Trek Corset

Emily Farris — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 15:35:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: Truly, if we could've somehow gotten pictures of each of the Remote Island bloggers wearing this thing, we would've done it in a heartbeat (come on, this year's staff calendar?).

Clearly, the Star Trek corset has caused quite a stir on the website this week, Click through for the top ten response comments to sexing up the United Federation of Planets...

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