Scanner : swingers

Way to F Up the Swingers Party, Dude

Colleen Kane — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 18:37:00 GMT

A tourist caused a mini riot at an "anything goes" adult sex party at an Australian nudist colony.

So how does one cause such outrage, if anything goes at this party...?

By refusing to get naked.

The monthly sex party was promoted to boost weak tourism to a resort that was once named the country's top group-sex hotspot for naked swingers.

Four naked women, uncomfortable with the way he was "eyeing them off," confronted the clothed man and demanded he drop trou, said the manager, Tony Fox.

"He then threatened to bash me, there was some argy-bargy and I ordered him off the premises and police were called."

Argy-bargy. Best new phrase of the day.

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Video of the Day: Meet the Polaroid Swinger

Emily Farris — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 15:51:00 GMT

Was Polariod trying to tell us (or our parents) something with this commercial for the Polariod "Swinger?"

It's more than a camera/ it's almost alive/ it's only nineteen dollars/ and ninety-five

Swing it up (yeah yeah)/ it says yes (yeah yeah)/ take the shot (yeah yeah)/ count it down (yeah yeah)/ zip it off — wait, what?

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(Thanks, Andrew!)

Londoners Knew How to Drink Us Under the Table

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 20:39:00 GMT

Did you know that in the 1920s, long before Paris Hilton (can you believe there was a time B.S.T.-- Before Sex Tapes--?), London was a hotbed of sexual mania? And you thought Hemingway was having all the fun in Paris and the speakeasies had the best parties in New York.

According to a new book and the following awesome vintage photographs, Austin Powers was too late by about forty years...

According to the WSJ, the above photo is from a "Second Childhood" themed party-- which wouldn't be so creepy if it didn't wind up being a massive orgy:

And for those who think that freewheeling sex and drugs didn't come into vogue until the advent of rock 'n' roll, these bright young people might have said, "Well, my dear, the orgies," before tucking into the heroin and cocaine that were as much in evidence in these circles as face powder. But although this seamy side of the era occasionally protruded into the public view in law courts and coroner's inquests, for the most part what the public heard about was pranks, larks and elaborate scavenger hunts -- outrageous fun, just enough to shock but not to appall the great British public.

The Boston Globe adds in their review of the book, entitled "Bright Young Things: The Lost Generation of London's Jazz Age":

He discusses the group's connections, style, self-image, wherewithal, employment, appetites, proclivities, and most notorious capers and parties. But, in the end, he shows that the element that really made them an entity, that defined and even created them, was the press. Various newspapers took them up in gossip columns (some written by Bright Young Persons themselves) and made of their exploits a continuing saga with familiar, recurring figures chiefly for the consumption of middle- and lower-middle-class readers. A life of a Bright Young Person became, in print, a "faintly sinister frieze, in which quiddity [was] reduced to idiosyncrasy."

Sound familiar? Wonder if your average gossip writer read the above story in yesterday's paper and had a change of heart.

The same Globe article mentions there's also a book out called "The Hell-Fire Clubs: Sex, Satanism and Secret Societies." Sadly, according to the review, it doesn't live up to its title.

The Bright Young People were also -- many of them -- part of a gay subculture that had started at Eton and continued at Oxford. So these pages are filled with charming cross-dressers and men who make up their faces and dither about it: One of them, who became Lord Faringdon in his later years, was described by an irate heterosexual as "a pansy pacifist of whose private tendencies it might be slander to speak." Faringdon once addressed the House of Lords as "my dears," instead of "my lords." This founding of a gay lifestyle seems as political in its way as the controversy over California's Proposition 8 is now. We don't want to do it your way, the Bright Young People seemed to be saying. Look what your way got us into. We want to do things our way and slip into our chiffon. [Washington Post]

Top image via the Boston Globe. Second image via the Wall Street Journal.

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Female Reverend Banned From Preaching After Drunken Swingers Weekend

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 20:51:00 GMT

Because it's real damn difficult to find a picture of a female in a sexy vicar's costume...

The Church of England has barred the Reverend Teresa Davis from practicing her craft for 12 years, following a tribunal that found her to have violated her vows.

The Reverend made the terrible mistake-- not of going to France and participating in a swingers weekend, not of showing up drunk at her church on a Sunday-- rather, for telling everyone she could get ahold of about all of it...

Mrs Davies was said to have told two church colleagues at a Christmas lunch in 2006 that she and her husband had spent holidays without their children in the South of France, in an area that she said was noted for “the casual exchange of sexual partners”.
The tribunal also heard that Mrs Davies, 37, and her husband had posted under the name “Tess and Mick, Daventry” on swinging websites.

Having sobered up enough to have a moment of clarity, Davies told another member of the clergy that maybe she had said too much. And indeed, although she admitted to the whole thing while facing the London tribunal, they were unforgiving.

The tribunal said: “Clergy who commit sexual misconduct have to be dealt with firmly and in a way which would protect those who could be harmed if the respondent were otherwise allowed to remain in ministry.”
It added that she still had no appreciation of the seriousness of the findings against her, or of the damage caused. [Times Online]

Come on over stateside, Reverend. They'll love you in Middle America...

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While You Were Sleeping: The Third Iron Man

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 13:08:00 GMT

A while back, we told you about the man in Duncanville, Texas facing trial for operating a swingers club out of his home. He was convicted yesterday of misdemeanor charges that had accused him of operating a sex "business."

Now Playboy is selling off its art collection to help stay afloat.

An anonymous blogger for The Frisky talked about her labiaplasty:

My unruly butterfly wings—otherwise known as my labia—interfered with my sexual activities. Riding a bike for more than 15 minutes? Painful. Camel toe? Obvious. Intercourse? Lube did little to relieve all that smooshing, pulling, stretching, especially when condoms were involved.
And then there were the unsolicited anatomical editorials that I’d received over the years, ranging from the respectfully observant, “You’re very floral,” to the horrifying, “Damn, girl. You got a fat p***y!,” to the complimentary, “Actually, I like it full and lippy ... That’s my thing.”

Obnoxious jerks that we are, we thought only dudes had problems with bike seats. Meanwhile...

This is a very interesting rundown of Senate and Congressional races in the A through H states.

Britney Spears will have her financial and business affairs permanently overseen by Papa Spears.

Michael Caine and Scarlett Johansson will host the Nobel concert on December 11th, featuring Diana Ross, Feist and others.

The Iron Man crew is doing The Avengers as well? Then we're suddenly excited for that one...

And Steven Page of Barenaked Ladies fame is not going to have to do hard time.

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Sloppy Seconds: Olympic Horses In Doping Scandal

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 20:45:00 GMT

The Coltrane Kids are cooler than we were in the second grade, that's for sure.

A 20-year-old Wisconsin woman was arrested for her overdue library fines. Um, I thought we were supposed to be promoting reading among our youth...

Sienna Miller's house was vandalized last night. Some sicko left the following graffiti:

Jerry Seinfeld is leading a $300 million ad campaign to salvage Windows Vista.

5 Americans were arrested for merely putting up the words "Free Tibet" in Beijing.

A trio of swingers are dead after a triangle went real, real bad.

Jean Reno, star of Leon, aka The Professional, is in the hospital after suffering a serious heart attack.

Coldplay is already gearing up to release another album, produced by Brian Eno, tentatively scheduled for next year.

The equestrian competition at this year's Olympics was thrown into turmoil today following these shocking revelations:

The four horses were found to have been given capsaicin, a substance prohibited because of its pain-relieving properties.
The horse Camiro, ridden by Tony Andre Hansen, was part of Norway's bronze-medal line-up in the team show jumping.
The other three horses are Ireland's Lantinus, ridden by Dennis Lynch; Brazil's Chupa Chup, ridden by Bernardo Alves; and Germany's Coster, ridden by Christian Ahlmann.

These people should be jailed for giving drugs to horses. Jailed in China. (That'll teach 'em.)

News Anchor Fired After His Swingers Craigslist Ad Cracks Up The Office

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 18:59:00 GMT

A well-known Las Vegas TV personality was summarily fired Monday after multiple Craigslist ads surfaced showing the dude in the buff, seeking a guy or a girl for he and his girlfriend to go to town on.

But it wasn't the fact that Jeff Gradney had put up a personal (sex) ad that had people so upset... rather, the ad's photographic content saw to that...

While the offending ad has apparently been removed, we found a nearly identical one on the same Craigslist page, this time seeking women instead of men for a menage a trois:

We are a hot, intensely passionate couple looking for a hot woman to play with. You must be comfortable with yourself, playing with a man and a woman, and being watched by the woman while you use his cock! We'd LOVE to make YOU CUM OVER AND OVER!!! If you like having your feet played with that's a definite PLUS! We don't have a specific type so please send pics... and one of feet would be nice! We will respond within 24 hours, can't wait to hear from you!

Here are the photos that got Gradney canned:

It's the bottom right photo, allegedly of Gradney sticking it to the (wo)man, that upset everybody at the local ABC affiliate:

Gradney, who joined the ABC affiliate three years ago, was dismissed Monday, after a disgruntled employee sent management and staffers a Craigslist ad, a source said, that appeared to show the reporter having sex with his girlfriend. The ad read: "hot, intensely passionate couple looking for a cool guy to play with." [Review Journal]

It should be pointed out that we discovered the Craig's List ad without anyone's prompting and that it may not necessarily be the couple, although a photo (which has also been removed) from the ABC website, purportedly of Gradney, seems to match the shirtless gym shot from the above images.

By the way, doesn't this all seem a little silly? So what if the guy put up a teeny, tiny pic of himself, even if he is having sex in the photo? Because he's a news reporter, it's an automatic "no no"? And who's this person who narc'd on him?

See the ad here... until they take it down.

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"Please Have An Affair With My Husband"

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 14:16:00 GMT

Who knew the Delaware State Police was a hotbed of swingers activity, so much so that one woman had to file a sexual harassment suit to put an end to the sexual madness?

1) Diane Miller claims a State Police Captain badgered her into an affair... with an assist from his swinging wife, who actually first broached the idea with Miller.

2) She was also sexually harassed by another male police officer, who groped her, hit on her incessantly, and even threw pieces of paper in between her cleavage.

3) Miller

charged that top brass failed to protect her from the unwanted sexual advances of Capt. John J. Laird even after she expressed concern about working for him. Along with the state police, Miller sued its parent agency, the state Department of Safety and Homeland Security.
According to Miller's lawsuit:
Laird and his wife befriended Miller after she began working for him at Troop 2 in Glasgow in June 2006. The couple often visited her home, sometimes spending the night. Laird made repeated advances toward Miller and Cissy Laird urged Miller to have an affair with her husband. One night, while Cissy Laird slept in another room, her husband had intercourse with Miller.

4) At this point, our instinctive reaction was: Wait, you slept with the guy and now you're suing him for harassing you? This better get better... and it does:

Cissy Laird also planned a July 2007 vacation for the trio at Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, where they stayed in the same room and Cissy encouraged the extramarital liaison, the lawsuit said. But Laird's wife soon became jealous and the trip ended in acrimony, with both badgering Miller to keep quiet about their activities, the lawsuit charges.

5) This is the part where Miller had to put up with the guy from incident #2 (see above.) She was transferred out of this guy's unit and told she was now working for... yep, Mr. Laird.

And in February 2007, while she recovered from surgery, Laird allegedly stopped at her home in full uniform, then grabbed her breast and tried to kiss her, saying, "It's OK. ... Cissy knows that I am here."
Not long afterward, Cissy Laird sent Miller a photograph of her husband in a bathing suit.
Also that month, the couple began visiting Miller's Dover home, often bringing food and wine. Cissy Laird reminded her that her husband had helped her and "had needs also," the suit said.
On one night when the couple spent the night, Cissy Laird slept in a spare room and her husband in Miller's bed where the two had sex, the suit said.
When the three went to Mexico that May, the two women were supposed to stay in one room, and Capt. Laird in another, the suit said. But upon arrival, Miller learned all three were booked in one room with a king-size bed. She expressed her displeasure, but Cissy Laird insisted she would sleep on a pull-out sofa because this is "what HE wants," the suit said.

6) This goes on and on... with no hint that Miller is unhappy with any of this. Until...

Miller and Capt. Laird later met at the Smyrna rest area, where he begged her to keep quiet about the trip. If she did not, Capt. Laird allegedly warned, she "better watch her back." She took his words as a threat, the suit said.
She soon hired an attorney and in August, after getting transferred to the Dover academy for recruits, filed a sex discrimination complaint with the State Department of Labor, Miller's suit said.
Martin said his client, who is in her 40s, felt she had no choice about having the affair.
"This is about a troop commander hitting on a subordinate," the lawyer said. "She felt a lot of pressure to give in to Capt. Laird."

There it is, folks. The chronology does not get into emotional feelings, just the facts, which is probably why we don't get a sense Miller is in any way dissatisfied with this arrangement. But looking back on it, it is clear that she is uncomfortable, at least, and it really doesn't matter in a sexual harassment case: if the advances are unwanted, it just takes a victim's say-so to make it valid.

Meanwhile, Laird was forced into retirement following the allegations. Meanwhile, Diane L. Miller is still working for the agency, as a $36K-a-year data processor...

Via Delaware Online.

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Today in Sex: News From Around the World

Swingers Vs. Nudists In Florida (Of Course)

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 19:30:00 GMT

Check out the strategically-placed straws that aren't even strategically-placed.

Florida is in the Scanner news twice today, first with a condo solving the housing crisis by installing a new pool, and now with a resort that is facing a civil suit if it can't resolve issues between its original nudist members and infiltrating swingers.

The Caliente Resort & Spa

must cut off ties with Web sites that promote the swinger lifestyle, tighten control on the use of Caliente's name in event advertisements and where the ads are distributed, and get Caliente reinstated in the American Association for Nude Recreation.
Caliente is... also a full-time home for hundreds of people, many of whom objected to the swinger parties, called "Swingfest." They hired [an attorney and demand] the resort clean up its own image.
"If the reputation of the club changes to something more risque, people will worry about bringing their kids," Hathorn said Friday.
The resort refused to scale back what it called a brand campaign focused on "nontraditional nudists." Caliente intends to move forward in expanding our brand to nontraditional nudists and people who want to enjoy occasional skinny-dipping in luxury...
"They will realize they need to work together," Hathorn said Friday. "It's in everyone's best interests for the two entities to work together."

About the only thing we can say about all this is: why is anyone surprised that a nudist colony turns into a swinger's club? There's a very fine line between being naked with a group of people while keeping your hands to yourself and being naked with a group of people and having a full-blown orgy, no?

Via St. Petersburg Times.

Accused Killer's Crazy Google Searches All The Evidence We Need

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 20:41:00 GMT

His DNA is on the gun. The gun is probably his father-in-law's. He fled the country as soon as the murders took place. The wound to his baby daughter was caused by the gun being pressed very close to the body, indicating it was no stray bullet but a deliberate attempt by a hateful person. But the most damning evidence in the trial of the crazed British expatriate then living in Massachusetts are his Google searches...

"Half price escorts," "escorts naughty night life," "knife in neck kill" and "quick suicide methods" were all computer searches made from Neil Entwistle's laptop just days before his young wife and baby girl were murdered, according to testimony heard Wednesday in a Woburn, Mass., courtroom.

Naughty sex + knife killing + quick suicide = guilty, guilty, guilty.

Detective Lawrence James, a computer forensics expert, testified that after doing a Google search for "how to kill with a knife," someone with the user name "ent" on Entwistle's laptop clicked on a link that showed a diagram of a human body. The caption read "So you may be thinking of going for the aorta, Why not the heart? ... This isn't the movies. ... It's best to stab through the human ribcage."
That same user also checked an account at the Adult Friend Finder -- an Internet sex site that bills itself as the "World's Largest Sex and Swingers Personals Community."

The nude photo James used on the site was ruled inadmissible (apparently, Entwistle used someone else's picture as his own-- small dick much?) However, most legal experts agree it was a temporary setback to the prosecution's case, which is all but guaranteed to succeed...

Via ABC News.

Scanner Highs and Lows: The Week That Was All About The Ladies

Emily Farris — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 23:03:00 GMT

Well, it was about all of the ladies but one, and we were pretty okay with that. But seriously, if you like ladies, you'll love this week's Highs and Lows.

Highs:

Scanner Emily finally met and then got a booty call from ~~Scanner~~ Salon Sarah.

We finally understand what trust is.

Bob Dylan commented on a presidential election for probably the first time in our lifetime.

We found a new TV show about sex to obsess over.

Babeland is one step closer to Scanner Nicole, one giant step closer to a bunch of babies.

We watched a totally fucking hot Dita Von Teese striptease. A Dita Von Tease?

We agreed to show Jon Lajoie our girl parts.

2 Girls, 1 Cup birthday cake. Need we say more? Except we'd be totally down for 2 Girls, 1 Cake.

The "Sex and the City" movie made a pretty penny.

We clicked for boobies, but you should continue to do so.

We learned Scanner readers have big hearts: as of Friday afternoon, 53% of you wanted to comfort Lily Allen by sporking her.

We also learned that Scanner readers have not only a good knowledge of viruses and their plural forms but that you have good taste as well: as of Friday afternoon 88% of you would rather have chicken pox in your vagina than a Rachael Ray tattoo on your back (whew.)

Scanner Brian was really nice to Hillary Clinton.

And we saluted her.

Lows:

In the end, Clinton lost the Democratic nomination. Probably a high for the party, but a low for the Clintons (though we bet Bill is a little secretly relieved).

But we celebrated the women's vote.

Scanner Bryan left us for an Island.

We were a little saddened to hear a woman say that women can't cook and fuck well.

But this made us even sadder for women.

We asked you to help us figure out what the hell is up with all the springtime break-ups. But we still don't really know.

The man who put women in sexy pants died in France.

That New 70's Show: Swingtown

Emily Farris — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 14:02:00 GMT

Did anyone catch Swingtown on CBS last night? It's the new show from the director of Big Love and Rome about (you guessed it) swingers. Or, if you're anywhere near our age, it's the show that might help you figure out why you share no features with anyone on your dad's side of the family.

Set in 1976, the show follows a couple as they move from a conventional neighborhood to a far less conventional one. With Quaaludes.

Remember The Ice Storm with Kevin Kline, Joan Allen, Sigourney Weaver and a pre-pubescent Christina Ricci? This is like that, but cheesy.

Luckily, Swingtown basks in its own cheesiness (imagine slow-motion running scenes set to "Dream Weaver") so actually, it's like the illegitimate child of The Ice Storm and either That 70's Show or Boogie Nights (because, you know, they're not sure who the father is).

Island Bryan liked it, too, though he thought the music was a bit much.

Now that Lost is on break and Men in Trees is canceled, this might be our new TV obsession. Here's hoping it doesn't get canceled before the real action happens.

[Swingtown]

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UK Swingers Site Accidentally Makes Users Pics Public. (Go Now!)

Bryan Christian — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 20:30:00 GMT

OK, we've worked long enough in the Interweb to know two things: 1) stock options mean nothing unless you can buy or sell them whenever you want, and 2) if you're gonna put anything behind a paywall, you gotta make sure to get it all back there -- the photos included -- or else people will find them. Particularly if you happen to be a members-only, UK swingers classifieds site.

Hey, www.swinger-personals.co.uk, we're totally available for a little freelance web consulting, if you're interested. Anything more... involved... well, you gotta ask our wife.

[via Reddit; img via Shoes are for Work]

Not to be Confused with ‘The Peach Pit’

April Peveteaux — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 15:42:00 GMT

Last week Bryan brought you the story of swinger's club 'The Cherry Pit' being shut down by the new ordinance in town of 'no sex clubs in your neighborhood'. But now owner, Jim Trulock is fighting back and the Texas town of Duncanville is getting its pants sued off by Trulock and his wife. It seems the owners of ‘The Cherry Pit’ are feeling a little ganged up on and not in the fun way, so the couple is challenging the constitutionality of the ordinance and we’ll be here waiting to find out of the state that just recently de-criminalized sodomy has worked through its sexual hang-ups. (For the Scanner record, Bryan thinks, at the very least they should turn down the yacht rock.)

But here's the more important question: Why are they banning sex clubs in suburban Dallas? I mean, everyone’s just going to cross the border into Oklahoma and besides; it’s keeping the driving-while-being-blown crowd off the street.