Scanner : summer

7 Breakup Tips

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 14:42:00 GMT

It's not yet "Breakup Season," which one of our ex-girlfriends claim takes place mid-summer, but this morning, we came across a great and epic story about getting over lost love. Read up now, and keep this handy in case D-Day arrives...

Here are the 7 tips for getting over that relationship that almost was. Surprisingly, "cranking up 'Tangled Up in Blue'" or "throwing a television out the window for catharsis" are not among the steps:

1. Letting Go

2. Release Tension and Bundled Up Energy [Hmm, we can think of a way to accomplish both of those at the same time...]

3. Love Yourself

4. Love Your Ex-Partner

5. Give it Time

6. Journal Your Experience

7. Read Something Inspirational

We have to disagree with at least one of those on a personal level-- not everyone enjoys journaling, particularly us blogger types that write all the damn day and want nothing to do with scribbling once the workday is wrapped. Does anyone have anything to add?

You can read the full explanations of these 7 steps, plus some personal musings by the post's author, at this site.

That's Some Scary Voodoo Sh*t Right There...

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Bacon-Infused Cocktail Made Us Orgasm Just Reading About It

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 18:18:00 GMT

Summer's almost over, which means it's time to drink heavily and balloon up for the unbearable winter months. A good way to start is with this monster of an Old Fashioned: it involves bacon, maple syrup, and about a bucket o' whiskey...

Start your week right with the recipe, after the jump:

PDT’s Bacon-Infused Old Fashioned

FOR THE BOURBON- BACON INFUSION:
3 or 4 slices bacon, or enough to render 1 ounce of fat (PDT uses Benton’s, but any extra-smoky variety will do)
1 750-ml. bottle of bourbon such as Four Roses Yellow Label

FOR THE OLD FASHIONED:
2 ounces bacon-infused bourbon
1/4 ounce Grade B maple syrup
2 dashes Angostura bitters
Twist of orange

FOR THE BACON-INFUSED BOURBON: Cook bacon in pan and reserve rendered fat. (1) When bacon fat has cooled a bit, pour off one ounce from pan. (2) Pour bourbon into a non-porous container. (3) Strain the bacon fat into the container and infuse for 4 to 6 hours at room temperature. Place mixture in freezer until all the fat is solidified. With a slotted spoon, remove fat and strain mixture back into bottle.
FOR THE COCKTAIL: In mixing glass, stir 2 ounces bacon-infused bourbon, maple syrup, and bitters with ice. Strain into chilled rocks glass filled with ice. Garnish with orange twist.

We hope someone can come up with a way to meld the two drinks into one so we can have maple syrup and bacon with our whiskey, but there's always the ol' Pancakes and Booze Breakfast, which explains our ability to sift through the New York magazine website, from whence this recipe came...

While you're at it, check out the How To video here.

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When The Folks Are Away, New Hampshire Teens Party Naked

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:02:00 GMT

We're not condoning hosting parties at your parents' house in New Hampshire at the age of fifteen and getting your friends to get drunk and run around in the streets naked... although if you do repeat this incident, please take pictures, censor them so we don't go to jail, and send us evidence that your high school experience is way better than everyone else's...

Otherwise, we don't believe a word of it...

According to the public police log, the neighbor called the homeowner in New York and at 11:44 p.m., told police the teens were drinking and running in the street unclothed.
When officers got to the residence, one teen fled and a police dog from Rochester was called in to track his direction of travel, said Maloney. The scent led to a parent's home in Rye, where the parent refused to allow police inside to search for her son, police say.

This must've been one smart police dog (was it the one from that Jim Belushi movie?), because it wasn't long before the fugitive nudist was apprehended at a different residence. (Side note: how funny would that be? It's midnight in New Hampshire and you're probably asleep-- the doorbell rings and it's a naked fifteen-year-old, asking if he can come in, covering his privates with one hand and waving from the porch with the other. So... you let him in, clothe him, and don't tell the police he's there? And and and... does this count as harboring a fugitive? Because that would be hilarious if the police charged whoever housed the kid with that...)

Before we get completely sidetracked, also note how the party continued... at the hospital, for God's sake:

At 1:56 a.m., an officer was called to Portsmouth Regional Hospital "to help restrain an out of control juvenile" who was brought there from the same underage party, according to the public police log. [Seacoast Online]

That one time we had a party in high school, there wasn't even enough rum for the girls to get the perpetually-naked-jock-dude to take off his shirt... my, how times have changed...

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Summer Camp is So Gay!

Emily Farris — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 15:33:00 GMT

As many of you know, we're a little obsessed with summer camp. In fact, we're taking off shortly to run the journalism department at a camp in New Hampshire for six weeks. So it's no surprise that we spend a decent portion of our lonely evenings Googling "camp."

And what did we find on this latest excursion? Camp Camp, a summer camp for LGBT adults.

We're of the belief that every adult should go back to summer camp, at least once. And if you're still afraid that you'll get teased for being a "gaywad" by the camp fire check out Camp Camp.

While many of the daily activities are reminiscent of the summer camp of yore (save massage), evening activities include "Gay Gaymes" and a pajama party. So, really, it's like summer camp with gay sex? Though just to be clear, it's not a sex camp:

While we certainly like to think of Camp as being sex-positive – our infirmary has condoms and dental dams available 24/7 – we are definitely NOT sex-focused. …C’mon – it’s a bunch of gay men and women running around together in the woods for a week, so we won’t lie to you and tell you the only activities happening are those found on the Activities Schedule. (There is a 24-hour hot tub, after all…!)

Can we go even if we're not gay? Because that sounds like fun and we'll be 'round those parts this summer, anyway.

[CampCamp.com]

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Sex Saves

Emily Farris — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 15:02:00 GMT

Can sex save your life?

Raise your hand if you've ever started to feel bad about yourself after going, say, five months without sex. Not that we would happen to know from experience or anything that going a period of more than a few months can be a blow to the self esteem. If you're the kind of person who has frequent dry spells, you know your entire world view is changed when you finally get laid.

Getting laid also aids in stress management, burns calories, helps you get more and better sleep, and can possibly combat the chance of developing certain cancers, like breast and prostate.

If you're one of those people who has learned that, apparently, summer isn't always for lovers, read this article entitled 'Could sex save your life?' to make you feel bad about all of the many, many benefits of sex you're missing out on. And if you really care about your health and mental well-being, you better find somebody to love. Or find a hobby.

[IOL: Could sex save your life?]

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[Image]

School Daze: Where Have All My Summers Gone?

Emily Farris — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 13:35:00 GMT

We're beginning to think we should have added "having three months to do jack shit" to our list of the Top 10 Childish Things We Wish We Could Get Away With As Adults. Because now that we think about it, having three months off of everything is totally worth nine months of arriving at school by 7 a.m. (oh, and being done by 3).

Because of this, expect to see lots of LOLcats in the mornings for the duration of this so-called "summer." Especially if we keep getting spooked by bugs in the night.

Hero of the Day: NJ Citizen Traffic Cop

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 21:19:00 GMT

Not this guy.

We were in the middle of beating the heat (sounds so dirty) by scarfing down buckets of Yolato gelato yesterday, when we happened to catch this guy on the five o'clock news...

It was on ABC 7 (NY/NJ/CT): a man in what appeared to be a wife beater t-shirt, directing traffic without being asked when the east coast heatwave knocked out area traffic lights. We wish we had a better picture than the one above, but ABC 7 apparently moved on to the latest triple murders and molesting teachers and the wonderful video is not on their website.

Reasons we love the lone man against the traffic guy (the closest America's going to come to the lone student against the tank in Tiananmen Square?):

1) He had absolutely no reason to help. It was hotter than an Eva Mendes-Scarlett Johansson sex tape yesterday and yet he stood out there in the bright sun, making sure other people made it home in one piece.

2) Could have been killed. After last week's story on the hit-and-run in Hartford, we're afraid to cross traffic, let alone stand in the middle of it.

3) Honking, middle fingers, and revving engines. There was no sound from the scene during ABC's broadcast, so who knows if drivers were polite. If they weren't, it may have gotten ugly out there. If it did, our loner only seemed more encouraged as the video guys on, excitedly waving and stopping, motioning and halting.

4) He's probably drunk. It's the middle of the day and he's walking around Northern New Jersey with just an undershirt and apparently has nowhere to be in a hurry? Yeah, he was blitzed out of his gourd. Nonetheless, bonus points for keeping it together.

And for that, he's our Hero of the Day. Every day.

PREVIOUS: Today in the Apocalypse: Hartford Hit and Run

Image via Flickr.

This Video Makes Our Fingernails Sweat

Emily Farris — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 14:34:00 GMT

We're sitting here in 90-something-degree heat wishing our new air conditioner would have been delivered yesterday (indstead of tomorrow) and thinking about how it's too hot to carry the old one up from the basement. So, watching this little girl spin around in the dryer (at, what seems, the behest of her father) makes our fingernails sweat. Seriously, they're the last frontier. We're sweating in places we never thought we could sweat. We just hope they had her on air dry and not permanent press.

Video of the Day: Slip Slidin' Away

Emily Farris — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 16:12:00 GMT

While we'd most definitely pee our pants in this AquaLOOP water slide in Moarvci, Slovenia it would be worth it for the trap door drop and the loop. Plus nobody would notice with all the chlorine.

Open Thread: What's The Dirtiest Thing You Ever Did at Summer Camp?

Emily Farris — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 13:02:00 GMT

Last week we told you all about how we got finger banged by Michael Ian Black at summer camp. You might have guessed it was a lie. While he did finger bang some girl named Emily at his summer camp, it was not us or our summer camp. In fact, we had some pretty mild summers, sexually speaking. That's why we want to live vicariously through you. What's the dirtiest thing you ever did at summer camp?

"Wet, Hot, American Summer"... the Musical?

Emily Farris — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:51:00 GMT

We're not huge fans of Broadway around here. We had the acting "bug" in our system for a while in high school and we may have been voted "best actress" in our senior class. A love of theater may have been about 3.06 per cent responsible for our move to New York at age 18 and at one time, we may have referred to ourselves as "Rentheads" (but at that time our eyeliner was thicker than our eyebrows and we may have also dated a few guys with goatees). However, about seventeen minutes after moving to the big city, we quickly flushed the acting bug from our system, never to suffer from it again. What we're saying is, there was a time when our tastes were, um different. We thought getting dressed up and going to a Broadway show was exciting. Now we pretty much avoid Times' Square like The Plague and if someone is visting and is just dying to see a musical, it always seems to work out that we have an important meeting—because bloggers have lots, and lots, and lots of important meetings to go to. Seriously.

That said, if "Wet, Hot, American Summer," the greatest movie ever made about a summer camp that's so bad its good, is made into a musical, we're busting out the eyeliner and finding a date with a goatee. Seriously, kids, that movie is the reason we became summer camp counselors at 25 (but don't tell, or we might lose our gig this summer).

[MTV News: Stella On Stage? Wain In Talks For ‘Wet Hot American Musical’]