Scanner : suicide

It Was 15 Years Ago Today

Colleen Kane — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 19:01:00 GMT

Kurt Cobain's body was found in Seattle a decade and a half ago today.

Unfortunately, every time I think of the shock of hearing that news via my college radio station, I recall how awful the radio announcer was. She was a fellow DJ with aspirations to make it as a radio personality, but she lacked anything resembling a personality, and even used a fake last radio name "Winters" instead of her more ethnic-sounding name. So when she announced this news, it was in her constantly smiling radio voice, plus she didn't really like music so she didn't care.

Anyway! One media personality who was appropriately somber about the loss back in April 1994 was Kurt Loder, who covered the developing story as MTV's 9-11, which it kind of was. A recycled eulogy for Cobain (from the 10-year anniversary) by Loder is up on MTV.com.

And meanwhile, The Courtney Love Show continues lumbering and sputtering along to its own cacophonic tune.

Courtney is preparing a lawsuit to reclaim $30 million in cash looted from the estate of Kurt Cobain. An additonal $500 million was scammed in real-estate investment ventures, says an article on E! Online. "There are now Kurts and Courtneys and Franceses spelled different ways that allegedly own properties all over the country that were bought by Kurt's assets," said Courtney's attorney. What this means, and who Courtney is suing have not yet been specified.

But she berated anyone who didn't understand the ins and outs of the coming lawsuit in her MySpace blog. An excerpt:

do you UNDERSTAND?
DO YOU UNDERFUCKINGSTAND?

to show you much else would make you start singing i dont know,....Metallica? am i speaking to BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD?
HAVE YOU EVER READ A BOOK?

ONE?

You're also welcome to try to make head or tail of her Tweets. Courtney tweeted more than 50 times yesterday, and not one of the messages makes sense.

Related:

From the Annals of "Sassy": Kurt Cobain Wore an Engagement Ring

C-Love in HEEB's Wasted Issue

Sloppy Seconds: Courtney Love's Bizarre Death Rant

From the Annals of "Sassy": Kurt Cobain Wore an Engagement Ring

Emily Farris — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 16:39:00 GMT

Can you believe it was 15 years ago that Kurt Cobain died? His body was discovered at his home in Lake Washington on April 8, 1994. To celebrate his life, the fine folks at I Heart Daily pulled out an old issue of "Sassy" (which, unfortunately met its end two years after the rocker) which featured Cobain and Courtney Love on the cover, shortly after the two were engaged. What stood out to us most was this little bit of sweetness:

"I mention that I saw their engagement announced on MTV when Nirvana's video was number one. Says Kurt, "It was embarrassing, but it was also kind of neat." Courtney says, "I thought it was kind of dorky." She's wearing an engagement ring, circa 1906, with a ruby or something in the middle. Kurt has one, too, an ornate band. "Sorry about this zit," she says, pointing to her cheek. "Zits are beauty marks," says Kurt.

—Sassy, April 1992

The entire article can be downloaded as a PDF here.

R.I.P. Kurt Cobain and "Sassy."

[I Heart Daily: Flashback: Kurt, Courtney and Sassy Magazine]

Related:

The Foo Fighters Would Like John McCain to Stop Comparing Himself to Kurt Cobain

C-Love in HEEB's Wasted Issue

Sloppy Seconds: Courtney Love's Bizarre Death Rant

Sloppy Seconds: Crazy Baby Lady Even Crazier Than We Thought

Emily Farris — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 00:51:00 GMT

The sheriff's department in Chicago's Cook County is suing Cralgslist, claiming the site is the largest source of prostitution in the United States. Um, yeah? [SunTimes]

Dare we pick up Jonathan Littell's 1,000-page Nazi-centered novel "The Kindly Ones" which "manages to be a near-masterpiece of historical fiction and at the same time a bloated, overlong masturbatory fantasia of sex and violence?" We just might. [Yahoo!]

Even Facebook is Twittering now. Sort of. [InformationWeek]

Prosecutors have charged Chris Brown with beating his girlfriend, Rihanna. He could get almost five years in jail if convicted of the two felonies. [Defamer]

Apparently Crazy Baby Lady Nadya Suleman couldn't even keep track of her children when she only had six, as evidenced by the audio of this October 9-1-1 call in which she can be heard screaming "Where's my son?" Sounds a lot like Angelina Jolie in Changeling, no? Except Angelina didn't say over and over again that she was going to kill herself. [Radar]

Related:

Crazy Baby Lady Gets Green Counter-Offer to Not Do Porn

Crazy Baby Lady to Become Crazy Sex Lady?

Crazy Baby Lady Is, In Fact, A Crazy Baby Lady

Sloppy Seconds: Nicky Hilton Takes the Law Into Her Own Hands

Emily Farris — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 00:26:00 GMT

What would Mickey Rourke have said had he won the Oscar? Probably that Marisa Tomei is awesome because "not that many girls can climb the pole, y'know?" [Vulture]

A 30-year-old aspiring male model committed suicide in Brooklyn's Prospect Park last week, after stating his intentions to do so on his Facebook page. [DailyIntel]

Ever wonder why boys (in general) don't like pink and girls (in general) do? If the results of a recent study are to be believed, it's because mens' and womens' brains respond differently to "beautiful" objects. Of course, the study was done with paintings and we're just guessing on the pink thing; we don't think pink is that beautiful, really. [Reuters]

What's in the water in this Brazilian town where 38 pairs of twins were born among about 80 families living in a one-and-a-half-square-mile area? [NYT]

We've always thought of citizen's arrest as this weird thing that people don't actually do. To the best of our knowledge, generally they don't. Unless, of course, they're Nicky Hilton. Surprisingly, we're left with only one question: what the hell was she doing at IHOP at 5 a.m.? [Us]

[Image]

Man Commits Suicide by Stabbing Himself in the What?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 14:44:00 GMT

This may be the craziest way to die we've ever heard.

Experts say it's very shocking when someone, as in the case of singer Elliot Smith, commits suicide by knife because of how painful and prolonged the plunge can be. (We promise the story we're about to tell is much more subdued than that graphic sentence.) That kind of self-inflicted stabbing has nothing on what one Chinese man did to himself...

A very confusing report out of China indicates a man was admitted to the hospital due to some sort of poisoning fear. There may also have been some external bleeding. X-rays soon revealed that the man had a knife inside his body and that the knife had entered through his... yeah, we won't finish that sentence lest you vomit. According to the man's nephew, the victim shoved the knife up his anus in an attempt to kill himself, likely over an outstanding debt from a recent surgery and a generally rough life.

The report seems to say he survived and made a full recovery, then goes on to talk about how he's deceased. We can only speculate that the one odd paragraph (about his survival) is incorrect or was supposed to be updated, while the rest of the story is accurate. Or maybe some bored Chinese newspaper made all this up and we're falling for it.

Either way, we've finally found the story that trumps the anal absurdity of the woman about the vicar admitted to an English hospital with a potato up his butt.

Related:

Vicar Happened to Be Naked When He Fell On the Potato... With His Ass

Today in "How'd That Get Up There?"

Female Reverend Banned From Preaching After Drunken Swingers Weekend

Is This Another Murder-Coverup of a Black Man?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 16:03:00 GMT

Police in Mississippi want you to believe that Billey Joe Johnson, Jr. died of a self-inflicted shotgun wound to the head while in park during a routine traffic stop. Police want you to forget that Billey Joe was black, his girlfriend was white, and that the angry white father keeping them apart was a friend of the police officer on the scene.

They also want you to forget that the official report has one glaring inconsistency in the death of an all-star high school football player weighing several major scholarship opportunities.

But Johnson's family and the NAACP are questioning whether Johnson died from a self-inflicted gunshot. A lawyer for the family has said Johnson's wounds did not appear to be consistent with a shotgun wound.
Willie Gaines, head of the George County chapter of the NAACP, said he, like many others in the community, believes Johnson had too much to live for to take his own life. The morning of his death, he was scheduled to attend an awards banquet. [Denver Post]
A witness heard two shots, not one, at the scene where Billey Joe died, according to an independent investigation launched by the Mississippi NAACP. The pathologist in that investigation has indicated that it would be impossible for a bullet from a self-inflicted shot to enter in the manner that it did. He also said that given the length of Billey Joe's arms and the length of the shotgun, it would have been impossible for him to hold the weapon and fire it at himself. [dead link, via Color of Change e-mail]

Even with this evidence, will the truth ever come out? Did the cop shoot Johnson? Did the father of his girlfriend, who had been ordered not to see the boy? All we know is that on the night in question, Johnson tapped on the girl's window, where her mother was waiting or hiding or happened to be passing by in the inside hallway. The mother called the police and Johnson took off. Color of Change notes: "This fact was not a part of the original story given by the police."

Later, he was stopped for what the police say was a pair of traffic violations: running a red light and blowing a stop sign. The cop claims he was taking Johnson's driver's license back to the car when he heard a shot and the sound of glass shattering. He turned and saw Johnson's last moments...

Cringeworthy Story of the Day: Inmate Tries to Cut Off His Own Penis With....

Accused Murderer Is Italy's Woman of the Year

While You Were Sleeping: The Next Major Blockbuster Is...

While You Were Sleeping: Another American Cheater Unveiled

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Bill Gates wants rich people to feel the pain, so he unleashed mosquitoes on them. Really.

"The Impaler," a self-described "Vampyre" who ran for Governor of Minnesota in '06 as the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans party (wha?) candidate, has been arrested for harassing his 16-year-old "vampyre hunter" ex-girlfriend.

Female bloggers in Sweden are fending off a company that's trying to bribe them with "beauty treatments." We'll take some!

Fuck Ticketmaster. Nobody can get Springsteen tickets, and now they want to form a monopoly?

Apparently, New York magazine has great success with linking its readers with its own hooker ads.

There's a new President, the world is constantly moving forward, but as usual, Georgia wants to crawl back into America's Puritan womb.

Kids are hanging themselves in school.

Michael Phelps may end up getting charged with drug possession or some other bong-incident-related offense.

And we always knew Barry Bonds was a cheater, but now we can prove it.

Related:

Tommy Lee's Drunk Pilot Is A Boob

Kanye Porn Update

While You Were Sleeping: Zooey Deschanel's Next Record

While You Were Sleeping: The NY Senate Seat Saga Ends?

Sloppy Seconds: Courtney Love's Bizarre Death Rant

Emily Farris — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 22:19:00 GMT

After male superhero movie after male superhero movie after male superhero movie, Wonder Woman is finally going to the big screen—except not. It's going straight to DVD. And it's animated. [Jezebel]

Britney Spears equates her life to a jail sentence. [People]

Is Nicole Kidman going to be the next star to quit the biz? Yawn. [Yahoo!]

Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson Wentz are still waiting for that baby to pop out. [MTV]

Courtney Love would like you to know she's not suicidal after a crazy death rant on her MySpace blog. [Us]

Sloppy Seconds: The Body Found Outside of Paula Abdul's Home

Emily Farris — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 22:05:00 GMT

American Apparel is back in this news, this time because an employee was fired after he refused to inflate figured on the company's balance sheet. [WSJ]

With the economy sucking your bank account dry, would you consider "donating" an egg for $8,000? [The Frisky]

Say what you will about those naughty Miley Cyrus pictures for Vanity Fair; Annie Leibovitz doesn't give a fuuuck. [Jezebel]

Us Weekly seems to be a little uncomfortable dealing with the fact that Lindsay Lohan called Barack Obama "colored." [Us]

The body of a suspected stalker was found dead in her car outside of Paula Abdul's Los Angeles home. [People]

[Image]

Sex Offender Running For VT Senate Seat

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 13:08:00 GMT

Every day, we read more than one hundred stories from around the globe and eventually concentrate on four or five that really stand out.

This is not only the most unusual, interesting, heartbreaking, and, ultimately, frightening tale we've come across in months, but it also may been too good for a simple blog post... but we're going to try...

Larkin Forney (his real name) was born in Virginia. When he was nine years old, he was struck by a car traveling at approximately 50 MPH. The accident put him in a coma for weeks and caused a traumatic brain injury (TBI.) He spent the next several years catching up on the previous nine, since they were all but erased from his memory. Predictably, his grades plummeted and he ended up broke, unemployed, and playing out the role everyone else cast him in.

Cut to the early 21st century (Larking was born in 1977) and Larkin is arrested for sexually assaulting a 14-year-old girl. Larkin claimed in court that he was guilty but that he was ignorant of the girl's real age, since he simply took her word for it. Soon after, despondent and confused, he set fire to himself and, ultimately, a room in his parents' home; badly disfigured, he survived, only to wind up charged with arson and reckless endangerment-- talk about adding insult to injury. (We don't dispute the state's right to prosecute him on this one, just the necessity of doing so.)

Normally, a story like this would jump to today's news, about Forney's run for the State Senate on his own party's ticket, Justice For Vermonters. However, in the course of our research into Forney's background, we dug up a little more dirt (from October 2004) that shows, regardless of Forney's injuries, the fact of the matter is he may be more dangerous man than sympathetic sinner:

Defendant has been incarcerated since July 2003 when he failed to post $50,000 bail after being charged with arson and misdemeanor reckless endangerment... Defendant has other charges pending against him because of acts he allegedly committed while he was released on bail prior to his trial on felony counts for a third DWI, and a refusal to take an evidentiary breath test for a third DWI. While on release from the DWI charges, defendant initiated a consensual sexual relationship with a girl whom he met on the internet and whom he allegedly believed was of age. A police investigation conducted after defendant and the girl had been hospitalized for drug and alcohol overdoses revealed that the girl was under the age of sixteen, and that the two allegedly engaged in sexual intercourse on two occasions. These revelations led to two charges of sexual assault on a minor... Defendant could not post bail and as a result was briefly incarcerated until bail was raised. While out on release, defendant was charged with violating the condition that he not use the internet. Finally, out of frustration with his predicament, defendant apparently attempted to commit suicide by dousing himself in gasoline and setting a fire in his room at his parent' s house. The ensuing fire badly burned defendant and left his face and arms visibly disfigured. The fire also seriously damaged his parent's house. As a result, defendant was charged with arson and misdemeanor reckless endangerment of his mother, and the high bail was set.

When we first sat down to write about this guy, the post we had in mind was more along the lines of "this piece of trash thinks he can run for public office? Anybody can run for public office, but not a sick perverted idiot sex offender." Now, we're not so sure that's how we feel. Is the fact that he's obviously brain damaged, possibly mentally incompetent, and a prime candidate for psychiatric treatment enough to overshadow the fact that he's clearly-- pardon the term-- a "menace to society?" Moreover, does he have any business running for elected office either way?

"I want to be a senator because I think I could bring integrity and honesty back to the justice system which I believe is failing us because I have been a victim of false reports and false accusations," Forney said.

He spent 21 months behind bars for his sex crime conviction... And he says he will address the hot topic of the day-- dealing with sex offenders.

"I agree that there should be tighter restrictions for sex offenders who are real predators... a danger to society. I had testimony from professionals that I am no predator or a pedophile," Forney said.

That's something you don't see every century: a convicted sex offender running for office on a tough-on-sex-offenders platform. What do you think? Is this guy too scary to be on the streets or should we just incarcerate where he'd never be heard from again... such as the Vermont state government?

More on his run here, via WCAX. Campaign website is here. His brother's plea to treat Larkin with respect. And the court papers.

Related:

Man Charged After Drunken Sex Leaves Woman Dead

Go Have A Jolt Cola And A Sandwich, Kids, We Want To Have An Orgy

Hero of the Day: Dad Who Killed A Sex Offender Turned Home Invader

Mom Sent 12,000+ Texts To Her Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend... Then Tried To Blackmail Him

Junior High Teacher Charged With... Oh My...

San Francisco Street Fair Would Make The Marquis de Sade Proud

Man Claims He Was Robbed By Gang Of Topless Women

Bill Murray Becomes His Character From Rushmore

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 15:10:00 GMT

When we were in high school, we were one of the last actors to get a call to read for the lead role in Rushmore. But before we could finalize the appointment, Jason Schwartzman was cast and went on to, um, semi-fame.

Anyway, our biggest disappointment about the experience was not getting to mess with Bill Murray all day, especially in the sequence where Max (the Schwartzman character) tries out a bunch of (comic) methods to kill Murray's Herman Blume, who is too busy smoking and drinking himself toward divorce to notice.

Now, Murray has broken his silence about his real-life divorce and internal suffering, saying that kind of life isn't as fun as Blume made it out to be in the film...

Here are the highlights... including word of a Ghostbusters III, woo hoo:

Murray said he identified anew with those characters -- like the dour Herman Blume in "Rushmore" -- when his wife of nearly 11 years filed for divorce in May. In the papers filed by Jennifer Butler Murray, she alleged that Murray abused her and was addicted to alcohol and marijuana.
"That was devastating," Murray said. "That was the worst thing that ever happened to me in my entire life."
Murray said his lowest point came a few weeks ago. When friends asked if he wanted to participate in an air show to support the Illinois United Service Organizations (Murray grew up outside Chicago), he accepted the skydiving invitation.

"They asked me on a day I didn't care," said Murray. "I didn't even care if there was a parachute..."

The writers of "The Office" have been hired to pen a "Ghostbusters III," which Murray thinks could offer a fresh take on the films, the second of which he (and many others) found disappointing.

We're not sure the fact that he doesn't refute any of his ex-wife's charges may not return him to Scanner Emily's good graces, but we feel for the guy: he sounds genuinely sorry for having screwed up...

Read the rest at CNN.com.

Related:

Top 10 Celebrities Who Are Probably Cool In Real Life

Sloppy Seconds: Are Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner Really Splitting Up?

Bill Murray: Back on The Market But Do We Want Him?

While You Were Sleeping: Beyonce Is One Sexy Cop

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 13:59:00 GMT

If you're out walking your dog naked, watch out for tasers.

No one should be surprised that the oil companies are corrupt, least of all Chevron.

A man heard noises in his daughter's bedroom and crept in, lead pipe in hand. He saw a naked male he did not recognize standing on the bed with his back to the door...

[The father] swung a metal pipe. He then chased the teen out the front door and called police.

The boy [who turned out to be the daughter's secret, yearlong boyfriend] was taken to the hospital where doctors closed a head wound with staples. Colon was charged with aggravated battery on a child and bonded out on $10,000. [Local 6]

You know, we kind of feel bad for the Dad... maybe we wouldn't have whacked the naked man with a pipe, but we probably would have at least tried to take the guy down... no?

A man threw a $10,000 bar mitzvah for his beloved thirteen-year-old. In most places, that would be on the cheaper side, if not for the fact that the thirteen-year-old we're referring to is his dog.

lvis Best’s “bark mitzvah,” held last August, was attended by more than thirty of father’s friends (including Dr. Ruth and Patti LuPone. The festivities, held at Sammy’s Roumanian Steakhouse, featured many traditional moments—including the reading of the torah—and plenty of dancing. Elvis even got a Louis Vuitton dog collar as a gift.

Shoot us now. In other news:

46-year-old intellectual/author/footnote dweeb David Foster Wallace committed suicide by hanging himself.

Who'd complain about a hot sex scene with Thandie Newton? Not Gerard Butler, star of Guy Ritchie's upcoming film...

Beyonce was in New York filming her new video the other day (it's for her lead single "If I Were A Boy," which we hope is as hot as the title makes it sound)

Thanks, Immora!

Related:

Breaking News: Beyonce Is Now White

"This Is The City's Response To A Penis"...

75 Nude Bicyclists Rally Around Dad And His 3-Year-Old

Hot Or Not: Skinny Actresses

Starpulse's Celebs Who Should Go Nude: Who's Missing?

We Call B.S. on Super Sexist "Daily Mail" Article

DC Madam Dictates Memoir From Beyond The Grave!

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 14:52:00 GMT

A new, epic blog post on 10 Zen Monkeys may restart those rumors that said Deborah Jeane Palfrey committed suicide... or, as "Palfrey" herself says, quash them for good...

Yes, we understand this makes no sense... how is a victim of suicide or murder going to come back from the grave and solve their own case? Via metaphysical psychics, of course!

The 55-year-old astrologer lived 10 miles from Tarpon Springs, Florida where Palfrey had committed suicide in May. (Her body was discovered hanging from a noose in a storage shed behind her mother's mobile home.) [T]wo weeks later, "I was at home in my living room when I became aware that another person, a spirit entity, had suddenly entered my consciousness and my body..."

Daniel says he now has the answers to the questions surrounding the infamous brothel-keeper's death. (Was Palfrey's suicide faked by government conspirators? Would she reveal the names of her famous clients?) Within 10 seconds, he'd identified the visiting spirit as Deborah Jeane Palfrey. (And to make sure, he'd verified it — with another psychic.) In July, Daniel was ready to contact the sex-worker advocate to say the madam was now available for questions.

At this point, we were laughing so hard we almost stopped reading. Almost. We gotta admit, we wanted to hear what the ghost of whoredom past had to say about herself:

This is absolutely false! I am solely responsible for the manner in which my life ended. There was no conspiracy that I became aware of to kill me. And even if there was, it was not successful. I took my own life; it was my decision, end of story. Or is it...?

The Government was my own dark shadow. The Government is very often our own personal dark shadow. Once we begin to recognize this we can move past the guilt, punishment, blame games and victimization. Until such time as the Human Race gets really, totally and completely fed up with limiting beliefs and values, our Government will stand as a reminder, a grim reminder that we are anything but a free people living in a world of real freedom and personal fulfillment.

Zen Monkeys question whether this is the real voice of Palfrey (for some reason, she sounds to us like a lame middle-aged "psychic" who has a bone to pick with the Federales), but we think it most definitely is: who wouldn't kill themselves if they found themselves living in their mother's mobile home in Tarpon Springs...

More nonsense here.

Thanks to El Destiny for the link!

Sloppy Seconds: Elizabeth Hasselbeck Not Sure What A Vibrator Is For

"D.C. Madam" Believed to be Dead

David Vitter: "Thank Christ You Forgot About Me"

Move Over Lazy Young People, Persephone Lewin's Day Puts Yours To Shame

Who Would You Rather (Bring Down With A Political Sex Scandal)?

Rumor: Governor Running A Brothel Out of His Office

While You Were Sleeping: We'll Score Or Go Topless For You

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 13:48:00 GMT

Don't you wish America's Next Top Models were making sex tapes, too?

Isn't this entrapment? An Ohio man came upon a topless woman in a park. The woman, noting that the park was empty, asked him to take out his dick. He obliged and was promptly arrested as part of a sting operation.

Did you hear about the naked airplane passenger?

An American Airlines flight from Boston to Los Angeles was diverted to Oklahoma City on Friday after a passenger stripped nude and later tried to open an emergency exit door before being subdued by members of a professional soccer team and others, the FBI said.

If you're going to kill yourself by jumping in front of a train, the least you could do is not traumatize the driver for life by staring into his eyes.

Neil Young talked about living with war (both the album and the state of being) on Charlie Rose. Not news, but you should check it out anyway.

More than 5,000 people donated to a guy running for office in nowhere Kansas after a cartoon about his candidacy took off on the internet. (To put things in perspective: he shattered previous records of only a few hundred people ever donating in such a race.)

An English footballer, scoreless since 2006, has vowed to score

five goals in this season’s push for promotion. If he is not successful then he and the rest of the United first team will get their kit off and pose for a topless calendar with the proceeds going to charity.

Topless soccer players? Come on, dudes... if you were serious, it would be a calendar with the full monty.

Male Mormon Missionaries Go Topless For The Hell Of It

Today in Bad-Assery: The Neil Young Archives, 1963-1972

"D.C. Madam" Believed to be Dead

Emily Farris — Thu, 01 May 2008 20:23:00 GMT

Suicide notes were found next to the body of a woman in Florida believed to Deborah Jeane Palfrey, otherwise known as "The D.C. Madam."

"Detectives are investigating an apparent suicide of a (white female) that appears to be in her early 50s," Tarpon Springs police said in a news release.

Suicide notes were found near the body in a small storage shed next to a mobile home, police said.

Palfrey, 52, was reportedly staying at the home of her mother, who owns the property where the body was found, police said.

The Pinellas County Medical Examiner's Office will determine the cause of death, police said.

The county sheriff's office and the FBI are participating in the investigation.

Palfrey was convicted last month in connection with a high-end prostitution ring catering to Washington's elite.
Don't Miss

She was found guilty of money laundering, racketeering and mail fraud. She was awaiting sentencing with a potential of 50 years in jail.

At least one lawmaker, Louisiana Sen. David Vitter, a Republican, turned up in the phone records of her business, Pamela Martin & Associates.

[CNN: 'D.C. Madam' believed dead]

[Previously: David Vitter: "Thank Christ You Forgot About Me"]

Sloppy Seconds: Eva Mendes' New Underwear Modeling Gig

Emily Farris — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 21:46:00 GMT

An Australian man was gunned down in his driveway by a robot packing a .22 semi-automatic pistol. Don't worry, though, the robots aren't taking over the world just yet. The man built the robot and programmed it to kill him.

Hey kids, if you're going to smuggle pot across international borders, why not use soda cans or text books? You know, something the kids are into these days. We hear The Hills DVDs are all the rage. We once had a boyfriend get a shit-ton of pot through airport security tucked deep into a jar of Nutella. But cans of vegetables? Hominy at that? Industrial size cans of hominy?!

If you haven't watched last night's LOST yet, then you probably don't want to click this link to find out which character is gay, gay, gay.

Speaking of gay, if you have any potentially gay kids hanging around, Good Morning America producers want to get their hands on them. No, not like that, pervert! They just want to exploit the kids in the name of journalism.

We love The Internets and all, but proposing via Twitter? After being together for fifteen years? Maybe the couple should limit their sex life to instant messages and build robot babies and take virtual tours of places they'd like to vacation together. (Sorry, we're really worried we're beginning to exist only on online, so these things kind-of get to us.)

Eva Mendes is fresh out of rehab and will soon be modeling underwear for Calvin Klein. The sexy actress is already a spokesperson CK's fragrance line, but now she'll be half nekkid and smell good.

Image of Eva Mendes NOT modeling Calvin Klein underwear via chinadaily.com.cn

Bummer: Rock Star Threeway Ends In Suicide

Bryan Christian — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 12:00:00 GMT

These are the survivors of the threeway -- in case you weren't sure.

Hate to harsh your sex buzz today, but we've got a little piece of advice: turns out letting your wife sleep with your rock'n'roll idol isn't always the best idea -- even if you get to be in on the action.

A devoted Status Quo fan who plunged into depression after his wife left him for guitarist Rick Parfitt has hanged himself at home, it emerged today.
[...]
In 1995, a day after marrying [former wife] Angie, [Nigel Hewitt] introduced his new bride to his hero at a Quo gig in Birmingham, where Rick flirted with her.
But it wasn't until December 2003 that, astonishingly, Mr Hewitt agreed to let Rick sleep with his wife - as long as he could join in.
Afterwards Angie lost interest in her husband and started spending more time with Rick. Eventually they split up.

Is there a lesson to be learned here? We don't know. We always thought threeways with rock stars were, like, a Platonic good. Straight spouse swaps are still cool, though, right? Dean?