Scanner : subway smut

Sloppy Seconds: Is Hayden Engaged?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 20:09:00 GMT

A man in Atlantic City was arrested for merely "displaying" pornography in his car... including a naked barbie doll.

Local residents complained about "being exposed" to items in his car, which had been parked off an on, in the same lot for several weeks. The classic line:

"...The only thing that was found up front was a topless Barbie doll on the dashboard, two DVD's in the console, the rest of the stuff was in the back seat....the only way that anyone would know there was anything in there was to walk up and actually look in the car." [NBC]

A woman claiming to be A-Rod's favorite stripper called a Detroit radio show this morning. Madonna's reps denied the singer made the call.

Is Milo Vermtitieitithatahghgag about to pop the question to Jailbait Hayden Panettiere? Dude, she's 18... you're 31... let her grow up a bit first!

Lucky for us an even better catch is back on the market: Emily Blunt, formerly attached to Michael Buble, is rejoining the dating circuit, woo hoo.

Worst. Coworker. Ever. [ABC]

A Chilean stripper was just arrested for pole dancing on the subway. You've been warned, L train girls. [Reuters]

And the eadline of the Day (from Fark): Austrian man who locked his daughter in dungeon for 24 years asks to be let out of his prison cell, explaining that he can't stand being cooped up [Fark]

The A-Rod Madonna Lenny Kravitz Clusterf*ck

Video of the Day: Subway Pole Dancing

Who Are Your Five To Watch in 2008?

Anyone Seen M. Night Shyamalan's "The Penis?"

Emily Farris — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 13:09:00 GMT

We used to think that when we were all grown up we'd stop being amused by toilet humor, especially when it comes in the form of vandalism. So either we are not all grown up or we're just bad people who get a kick of of defaced public property. But it's not so much that we're amused by the actual "art," it's the that someone had the idea and actually followed through with it.

Image via YBNBY

Image via New York Shitty

When the poster for Will Smith's movie, Happyness, was up in our subway station we'd constantly watch kids staring at an image of Will Smith's son sucking the red dick that was drawn coming from Smith's armpit or something. We wanted to put our hands over their little eyes and offer to answer any questions they might have. But then we realized that this is New York and these kids have seen more than we have. Unlike us, they'll probably be rolling their eyes at this stuff when they're 26 (while we continute to giggle like school girls).

Video of the Day: NYC Subway Pole Dancing

Bryan Christian — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 13:08:00 GMT

Here in the Big Apple, they're talking about raising the price of a subway ride again. This will be, roughly, the 900th time this has happened in the last ten years or so -- which wouldn't be a problem if the trains were appreciably faster, cleaner, or had more pole dancing. Hey, MTA: guess which one we'd vote for!

[Via the Daily News and just about every single news outlet in the whole of NYC]

We Say Goodbye to The Bootylicious "Hitman" Poster

Bryan Christian — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 18:37:00 GMT

Maybe you saw or heard about the (perhaps overly revealing) poster for Hitman, the film adaptation of the video game series which starred a deeply miscast Timothy Olyphant -- and which bombed at the box office last month? OK, maybe you didn't. Certainly you didn't see the flick. We sure as hell didn't. We've pretty much subscribed whole hog to UK critic Mark Kermode's theory about video games and movies, actually. But that's neither here nor there. Here's why we bring it up, and why we love living in the big city: because for weeks now, you can't walk past a copy of the Hitman poster in the subways without finding someone's attempt to rip out the part showcasing Olga Kurylenko's superb, barely clad backside. We'd guess they're being saved for posterior. (ZING! New York loves the booty, y'all!)

Alas, even as we speak, Agent 47 and Comrade Hottie are getting replaced by Will Smith and CGI chipmunks, so we thought we'd at least document the phenomenon before it was gone forever (see right) -- and give everyone a chance to see the original ad...

Some people say you can see some, er, secret ingredients in there. What do you think? Too racy for the subways? We're not sure. And what we mean by that is: we're investigating the matter very closely.

[image via Maulleigh's flickr page]