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Three Men Jump 12-Year-Old Girl, Beat Her Up, Call Her A Hooker... Then Arrest Her

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 20:25:00 GMT

We've been reading about this story for a few days now, but we were waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Yes, this story is so shocking, we assumed it was fake, exaggerated, or rife with accidental factual errors or some combination of the three. Unfortunately, though, the Galveston Police Department has not released a plausible denial, so we have to assume that, to a large extent, this is a true story...

Here's what we (think we) know:

1) A 12-year-old African American female is playing in front yard in Galveston, Texas two years ago. Out of nowhere, a van pulls up and three men jump out, call her a prostitute and grab her. When she screams "Daddy, Daddy," they clamp her mouth shut and beat her on the mouth and face. Her father responds to her cries (hero!) and starts beating up the men (not heroes.)

2) The men (if one can call these pieces of shit that) turn out to be police officers. All kosher so far, right? Whoops-- it turns out they were plainclothes cops, didn't identify themselves as police (big no-no, as any boy in blue will tell you), and were supposed to be responding to a report of three Caucasian prostitutes in a different part of the neighborhood. What excuse did these officers provide for seizing on the pre-teen black girl? She was wearing "short shorts." (We'll refrain from making a crack about how all preteen girls would be prostitutes under these guidelines since, well, preteen girls are surely acting more and more like prostitutes these days, anyway...)

3) The girl, who is an honor student, was released and subsequently arrested while in school, where she is an honor student. She was charged with "assaulting a public servant"-- which itself is almost a sick joke, since every word of that charge is a boldfaced lie.

4) No one heard about the case for two years because, quite justifiably, the girl and her family were afraid to tell anyone. An intrepid reporter spotted the ongoing case on a court docket and blew the lid off the whole thing. Of course, the mainstream media are ignoring the story-- probably because the family is poor, black, from Texas, and probably unwilling to cooperate with the obnoxious press. We can't say we blame them, although we hope that this gets major publicity and that all three police officers lose their jobs...

...if this is a factual story, of course.

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Teacher Sex Craze Spreads to the U.K.

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 19:15:00 GMT

47% of all public school teachers working in the United States have had sex with a student or another teacher since 1997, according to an informal study we just made up.

And like a halfway scary Dario Argento movie from 1976, it's spreading like a sexual plague to other countries...

The Sutton Guardian reported on two teachers at Carshalton College, a school near London (at least on the world map) who skipped out on a school assembly to have sex in a classroom. Not a big deal, right? The fact that they were caught by a student and reported-- still not a big deal. The fact that they were both committing adultery-- getting warmer...

The real story here isn't that the school sex(ual revolution) phenomenon is invading England, it's that after the teachers were busted the first time, they simply hightailed it across the hall and restarted their shenanigans in another classroom, where they were busted again, this time by a third teacher, who obviously felt he/she was missing out.

A great ending to this story would've been that all three teachers were busted for a classroom menage a trois, although we're confident one of those will turn up soon enough... Great Britain...

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Memo to the Telegraph: If You Cover Up, You're Not Naked

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:50:00 GMT

The above photo of Marisa Miller is advertised as a "nudie pic." We're pretty sure she's actually naked under that iPod (a great Christmas gift, by the way!), but we have to question the supposed nudity in this shot of five young students of Cambridge University...

Okay, sure, they're probably nekkid (although they're all wearing boots and the girl on the far left clearly has shorts or underwear on), but what about the fact that these damn lambs keep getting in the way? They may be naked, but is this technically a "nude photo?"

This was a photo shoot the five Cambridge University gals did for a charity calendar, being sold for nine English pounds (coincidentally their combined body weight), which is for blah blah blah a Veterinary Hospital blah blah.

Photo via the Telegraph.

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Rice University's Sex Magazine A Slap in the Face to Houston Elite

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 20:47:00 GMT

Conservatives don't want you to learn anything about sex, because that would lead to fulfilling marriages... and we all know that happy people don't listen to right-wing talk radio.

Parents of Rice University students are trying to figure out how to put a stop to a student-run magazine that openly (hence the title, seen above) discusses sex, as if twenty-one-year-olds should be allowed to talk about it, let alone have it...

Open, the Houston-based publication in question, has already received national attention for depicting nude female students in its pages. But the fact that the school hasn't been able to plug the loopholes the publishers have squeezed through hasn't stopped parents from pursuing other actions. Students aren't all filled with immature glee either:

The content of the 68-page magazine included articles, poems and short fiction with titles such as "Abstinence-Only Education Is Anything But," "Health and Body" and "Exploring Health Benefits of Sex."
The publication debuted on Rice's campus and in nearby businesses last spring to a mostly positive, albeit shocked, student reaction, Solnick said. [ABC News]

You can check out the magazine here and decide for yourself if these kids are up t'no good...

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Today's Cradle-Robbing Cutie: Drama Teacher Lisa Glide

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 21:24:00 GMT

'Tis the season for stories of teachers sleeping with high school students, apparently.

35-year-old New Jersey drama teacher Lisa "Astro?" Glide was taken in by the cops yesterday following revelations she had a continuing sexual relationship with one of her students, a seventeen-year-old who has long since graduated. If these charges stick, she could face up to twenty years in prison...

Here are some comments we've seen on various news sites discussing this case:

-Hey authorities, he’s a little hint - if the “victim” is older than 13, he is not really a victim. He’s the luckiest dude at school - especially when the supposed “sex offender” looks like she just walked off the Cowboys cheerleading squad.
-Yet ANOTHER female predator. You can bet she'll get off with a slap. If a man did this, he'd be put away forever.
-seriously.....does anyone believe a 17 year old boy be emotionaly harmed by this? This may sound like double standard/sexist but just wondering?

I'll be more harmed by this becoming public, especiallly if she was not that attractive.

I understand her responsibility as a teacher but he is 17....
-Going back 5 yrs when I was 17 and if my teacher looked as good I would definately do her. A 17yr old male definately knows what he is doing. The teacher shouldnt be lawfully punished but definately fired and should seek a new career.

P.S. Good job lil man! Hope you scored an A++

Hey, 22-year-old dude: you'd be helping your case a whole more if you spelled "definitely" correctly when you say a 17-year-old "definately know what he is doing," since you sure as hell don't.

We post these stories all the time, but no one ever weighs in on whether these (FEMALE) teachers deserve punishment beyond an obvious firing. What do you think? If the now-eighteen-year-old guy consented and continued to consent throughout and testifies in her defense, what should her punishment be, if anything?

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Trojan Girls Try To Get Republicans To Wear, Learn Uses Of Condoms

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 20:23:00 GMT

Scanner Brian is in Minneapolis-St. Paul this week reporting from the Republican National Convention...

We have to admit our trip to the Trojan Bus near the Excel Center yesterday was not entirely on the up-and-up (no pun intended.)

We heard there were a half dozen hotties flirting with delegates, handing out condoms and buttons, and asking the ladies and gentlemen of the RNC to take some sort of condom test. This, we thought, sounds like Scanner material...

Trojan claims this is not a marketing ploy (you know, buy our condoms and you'll get these hot girls to like you), but rather a booming wake up call about the state of the country's sexual health. Hint: it's in the shitter.

David Johnson, Group Project Manager for Trojan Brand Condoms, says, "The main initiative is to open people's eyes and get them involved in the Evolve cause." The Trojan Evolve Tour plans to visit 60 college campuses in six months. The Trojan Tour Bus will have multimedia stations where students can play games and win the necessary prophylactics for all their sexual needs.College OTR] [

Ah, yes... about those games. What we experienced was basically the Relay Game. If you've read the rules off the sign in the above photo, you've pretty much figured out how that goes, we imagine. If only there was a way to roll a condom over a banana while taking pictures (we never did get the one-hand move down yet-- again, no pun intended), we would have figured it out and presented a full photo essay here. As it is, we think you can use your imagination.

However, here is some visualization, if only of the bus, which has a little ~~peep show booth~~ video booth where students and anyone else off the street can record their own sexual health-related message to America. (Our was going to be something about how it's Wednesday, which means it's Business Time, but we thought better of that...) Note that the story we're referencing in this short and relatively pointless Q&A with the leader of the Trojans is this one.

[Ugh, Vimeo screwed up our video and it's too late to fix it today. We'll update tonight. Here's the basic rundown: we try to get the Trojan Girl to say anything about Republicans or Democrats, but she rightly avoids our dumb questions and sticks to the subject. In any case, we will say this: we're glad a very dedicated group of people of any age are spreading a positive message about condoms. As one of the girls told a delegate as we walked back to the RNC, "One and four New Yorkers has herpes." The numbers, you should know, are almost as bad everywhere else as well...]

UPDATE: Here we go...

Trojan Girl Explains Her Presence At The RNC from Brian Fairbanks on Vimeo.

Follow the tour via Facebook and read more at the Trojan website. By the way, can someone please explain the logic behind the bus "evolution" drawings?

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School's Out, Let's Have a Giant Orgy

Emily Farris — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:54:00 GMT

Students in Englad, including "a disturbingly high number of girls," celebrated the end of the school term with a huge orgy in a village square.

Nearly 200 students in Wray, Lancashire marked the end of their eleventh year with a public sex party. According to school officials, "a disturbingly high number of girls" were involved. Is that proper British talk for lezzing it up, high school style? There must have been plenty of boys involved, however, because one was hospitalized and the school "was forced to help get girls emergency contraception."

And, no, we couldn't find any pictures.

[Daily Telegraph: End of term party becomes village square orgy]

Image via girlynightout.co.uk

Afghan Student Sentenced to Death After Downloading Report on Treatment of Women

Emily Farris — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:57:00 GMT

A journalism student in Afghanistan was sentenced to death after downloading a report that criticized the treatment of women in some Islamic societies.

The student, Sayed Pervez Kambaksh, a student at Balkh University was sentenced to death last October.

"...after downloading a report from a Farsi website that criticized Islamic fundamentalists who misrepresent statements in the Koran to justify the oppression of women. Kambaksh was arrested after someone filed a complaint against him. He is accused of blasphemy for distributing the report to other students and teachers at his school."

[Wired: Afghan Student Sentenced to Death After Downloading Report]